African King

Years ago, an African King was given some basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets President Bill Clinton.
The instructor told the African King, "When you shake hands with President Clinton, please say, 'How are you?' then Mr. Clinton should say, 'I am fine, and you?' Now, you should say, 'me too'. Afterwards, we translators will do the work for you."
When the African King met Clinton, he mistakenly said, "Who are you?" (Instead of "How are you?).
Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked, but still managed to react, "Well, I'm Hillary's husband."
Then the African King replied, "Me too."

It Will Repeat Itself

An elderly man boarded a bus at a Bus Stop in Lagos heading home to Ikeja. Typical of Lagos bus stops, and the rushes by commuters to get on board, one of the commuters who boarded was this 80-year-old man, once on board he struggled and got a seat.
Just as he sat down, he discovered his wallet had been stolen from his back pocket. As the bus moved on quietly into the night, a loud voice was heard from the back of the bus, "WHOEVER TOOK MY WALLET SHOULD RETURN IT OR ELSE WHAT HAPPENED IN1967 WILL REPEAT ITSELF!".
He repeated this again and again much louder. Sudden dead silence and fear engulfed the bus. Voices in whispers were heard on the bus asking, "What happened in 1967?"
Everyone in the bus started begging, "Whoever did this should please bring the wallet out."
The man who stole the wallet became afraid, he quickly dropped the wallet and kicked it near the old man and in a short while, a young lady shouted pointing underneath the seats, "Sir, see the wallet."
Great sigh of relief it was with the find. The old man came down at Ikeja and continued his homeward journey. An inquisitive young youth corper who was on the same bus, who also came down, walked briskly close and asked the old man, "Sorry sir, but what Happened in 1967?"
The man replied, "Son, in 1967 a similar event occured and you know what... I TREKKED HOME."

were three guys, Thambo, Gyan and Akpos,
they were all in the desert where they walked
many miles.
Finally they walked upon a lunchpack that
someone lost while hiking in the desert. In the
lunchpack, there was a big bottle of water, a large
piece of meat and a big piece of bread.
Unfortunately, there wasn't enough to feed the
three men, so they came to an agreement that
they should sleep on it and whoever has the best
dream will win the food.
The next morning when they awoke, Akpos and
Thambo looked at Gyan and asked, "What did you
dream of?"
Gyan said, "I dreamt I visited the queen in her
royal palace."
They both were amused by his dream. Next, Gyan
and Akpos looked at Thambo and asked, "What
did you dream of?"
He told them, "I dreamt that I was part of the
Real Madrid team that won the Champions
League last season."
They were amused by his dream. Thambo and
Gyan looked at Akpos and asked, "What did you
dream of?"
Akpos looked them in the eyes and said, "I
dreamt that I was in this dry desert and while
walking, I stumbled across this lunchpack. So I
looked inside and found 1 bottled water, 1 big
piece of meat and a big piece of bread. And since
I felt hungry in my dream, I ate it all"
Thambo and Gyan, realising this wasn't a dream,
checked the lunchpack but to their dismay, found
out the it was empty.

Three business associates, an Igbo man, a Yoruba man and a Chinese man, went to eat lunch together at a restaurant in Surulere. While in the middle of their meal, a fly came in through the window. It flew across the table to where the Igbo man was but he just waved his hands to chase it away. The fly then went to where the Yoruba man was, he also chased it away. Finally, the fly then went to where the Chinese man was and was flying close to his ears. The Chinese man looked at the fly for sometime and then grabbed it, put it in his mouth and swallowed it. The other men saw this but just kept on eating. About Five minutes later, another fly came in and flew to the Yoruba man who just chased it away again. It then flew on to the Igbo man but this time he did not chase the fly, he looked at it for sometime and then grabbed it. He then turned to the Chinese man and asked "how much you go buy am?"

Why Are You Following Me


Yesterday, I went home late from an official function and I decided to use a motorcycle (Okada). On arriving home I alighted, paid the guy...http://jokeafrica..in/2016/08/why-are-you-following-me.html

near Nigeria says: INBOX Report Girl : I 'm warning you, my Mummy is coming back soon. . AKPOS : But I ' m not doing anything . . Girl : That 's why I ' m warning you, Hurry up CASHIER: This is the 5th movie ticket you've bought tonight Sir , Why ? . . AKPOS : Yes, that I . diot at the entrance keeps tearing it TEACHER: What's your favorite flower ? . . AKPOS : Chrysanthemum. . TEACHER : Spell it. . AKPOS : I was joking o. My favorite flower is Rose R - O - S - E Two Girls were sitting at a club. One was ugly and the other one was beautiful . Akpos walked straight to the ugly girl . Akpos : Hello! Ugly girl : Hi !! Akpos : Wanna dance ? Ugly Girl : Yes (excited) Akpos : OK, Go and dance , I wanna talk to your friend. Papa Akpos : My pikin say you drive am commot for school, Wetin he do ? Akpos 'Teacher : - Your son is not brilliant at all, he cant even spell " LION" . . . Papa Akpos : Ah Ah . . . You know say na SMALL pikin . . . . . . You for tell am make he spell SMALL ANIMAL like " MOSQUITO " . . . . . . Teacher : Behind every successful man there is a woman. What do we learn from this? Akpos : We should stop wasting time in studies and find that WOMAN Teacher : Make a Sentence with Big Akpos : The Ram Is Big Teacher : Make it longer Akpos : The Ram is big ooooooo OPERATOR: 911 , wat 's your emergency? AKPOS : Two girls are fighting over me . . OPERATOR: So ? . . AKPOS : The ugly one is winning . Teacher : Who can state one diff btw a Bird and a Fly ? . . Akpos : A bird can fly , but a fly cannot bird . Ochuko : Akpos , where have you been? Akpos : Watching a football match ? Ochuko : Who played? . . Akpos : Ivory coast v Via Op

Akpos At A Job Interview:
Another funny Akpos Joke – Akpos and johnny were shortlisted and invited for an interview. The interview was for job employment. Johnny was the first to enter the interviewing office.. (the manager asking johnny questions).
Manager: who was the first military head of state in Nigeria.. Johnny: General Aguyi Ironsi..
Manager: when was the North and southern protectorate in Nigeria Amalgamated. .
Johnny: 1914.
Manager: That is good of you..
Question no 3, is it t rue that the cure for HIV/ aids is discovered..
Johnny: eehm.. yes but not scientifically proven…
Manager: good way of answering questions,
please can you wait for us outside and we will attend to you later…

Another one was: Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he replied.

People Without Gifts


A man was invited to a wedding. When he reached the hotel, he found two doors written on them:
1. Bride's relatives
2. Groom's relatives
He entered the groom's door and found two doors again.
1. Ladies
2. Men
He entered the men's door and found two doors again.
1. People with gifts
2. People without gifts
He entered the second door (people without gifts) and
He found himself outside the hotel.

People Without Gifts

A man was invited to a wedding. When he reached the hotel, he found two doors written on them:
1. Bride's relatives
2. Groom's relatives
He entered the groom's door and found two doors again.
1. Ladies
2. Men
He entered the men's door and found two doors again.
1. People with gifts
2. People without gifts
He entered the second door (people without gifts) and
He found himself outside the hotel.

Where is Your Driver's License


A policeman stopped a motorist and his friend on the road and after checking his car papers and driver's license which were intact, the following conversation ensued...

POLICEMAN: If you start feeling sick on the steering, who would drive this car home?

MOTORIST: I don't intend to fall sick officer, but thank God I have my friend here. if I fall sick, he will drive me home.

POLICEMAN: (turns to his friend) Where is your driver's license?

FRIEND: I don't have one.

POLICEMAN: You are under arrest for intent to drive without a license!

Full Recovery

Akpos and Mary were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Mary suddenly jumped into the deep end. She sank to the bottom and stayed there. Akpos promptly jumped in to save Her, he swam to the bottom and pulled Mary out.

When the medical doctor became aware of Akpos' act, he immediately ordered his discharged as he now considered him to be mentally stable. When he went to tell Akpos the news, he said "Akpos, i have good news and bad news, the good news is you are being discharged, because you were able to jump in to a swimming pool and save the life of another patient, I think you have gotten well enough and the bad news is that, the patient you saved hung herself with her bathrobe belt in the bathroom, I am sorry, she is dead."

Akpos replied, she did not hang herself, I put her there to dry!

Best magic


I believe the best magic is neither in Merlin's nor Harry Potter's hands...
I was going out one fateful day and I needed some money to buy some stuff urgently! I asked
my mum for money. Although she's been giving me various excuses, she didn't hesitate this time, instead, she brought out the money.

I counted it and it was N35,000! I was very happy.

I showed off the newly wrapped notes, especially to my best friend. He asked me to lend him some amount of money promising to return it the next day. I refused to give him lying to him that it was for my school fees. He was annoyed but had no choice.
Whilst counting the money, my crush, a beautiful light skinned girl, walked up to me asking me to lend her some of the money saying she couldn't tell me the exact time she would return it.
Without hesitating, I handed over everything to her!

Immediately she left, I started crying because I never knew how I happened to give her the
money.
Isn't that Magic?!

FUNNY!! FUNNY!!!!

A professor was travelling by boat on a high sea. On their way, he asked the sailor: ‘Hey! do u know Oceanology? Biology? Ecology? Zoology? Physiology?'
Epidemology?

‘NO’ said the sailor.

The Prof got angry and said: 'then what do u know? You will die of illetracy'!.

30 minutes later, the boat started sinking. The sailor looked at Prof who is visibly shaking and asked: 'Prof, do u know Swiminology and Escapeology from Sharkology?

‘NO’ said the Prof.

Sailor: Well that means Crocodileology will eat your Headology and u will Dielogy with your Knowledgeology because of your Badmouthology and grammartology. 

Morals
*Don't be proud!*
You are not an island of knowledge, don't look down on anyone, we all have different grace and ability.

Pls share this postology and put smilelogy on ur friends' faceology. Happy weekology  

Intelligent Question


A little boy work up to his father and asked, "Dad, where did I get my intelligence from?"


The father replied, "Well son, you might have gotten it from your mother because I still have mine."