Dear Oluwa-seun osewa,it is with a mixed heart that I write you this letter,and I hope your wife family and kids are all doing well.
I really don't know what kind of letter am writing whether formal, informal or semi formal,hence i don't know how to properly address this letter.
I write for three major reasons for now,as other letters would be coming in the process of time.now let me state the reason for writing.

1.FTC(first to comment)Sir I having been an addict of nairaland,yes and if there is anything to show I am sick,its If am unable to visit and remain in nairaland within 10mins,but sir,your emperical majesty its with deep regret that I announce that in the last one month,I mean this new year,I have done anything doable,Dasuki came no FTC,Metuh came no FTC,Fayose yabbed Baba yet no FTC I yaf tired.
Now I will tell you what happened to me when i was struggling fr Ftc,On Jan.24 I was preparing my last pack of indomie,since I could not drink garri to avoid Future obituary announcements,when there was thus news of a certain Actress whose new shape is a killer,I quickly clicked,hoping to feed my eyes and also FTC,then I typed "fallen Olympus" since the front row is sagged,low and behold as I turned to stir and serve my precious indomie,half of it was already burnt. I consoled my self with the hope that I wil be first to comment but when it made first page as does any thread carrying 'actress'cleavage'etc,i leaped for joy and forgot the sorrow of my burnt indomie hoping to be FTC but a certain moniker 'Introvert'ws FTC I was angry then a suggestion came to go drink that garri but I resisted.

2.Lassa fever.
Yes lassa fever,while u had boldly written a disclaimer stating that every body is responsible for what they post,I can But say the some members post false info and make their way to FP.
16 January was the day,news was on front-page,don't drink garri, that garri is now carrying lassa,atleast I was not patient enough to read carefully,then I called my mother to say federal government had advised that all stored garri be disposed off,she had started cursing Buhari for bringing so much hardship when I told her that its case of a certain sickness,though she doubted that she had never seen nor read of such i had convinced her because I dnt bother to read carefully enough,3bags of stored garri was wasted.

3.Who is Oluwa seun Osewa?
Forgive my curiosity but as an ardent follower of this forum and a registered member,haven joined nairalander officially since 2012 have seen any image real or graven showing the person of seun osewa,erhm sorry but whenever I ready about linda and co,I had always asked my self,why won't seun pose for us to see his swag or otherwise,Abeg I dey like any where I dey make d person when get am dey represent wella and pls which club side do you support?I hope and pray it's the great Manchester united like me
Lastly I would want to inform you that there is hunger in nairaland,we need a dasuki.
And thank you all for reading and sharing in my idleness.
LONG LIVE NAIRALAND
LONG LIVE SEUN.
Yours faithfully
Faithful/Addict nairalander

Funny guy.

Sipped the Liquid again i am holding to be sure it is hot Cocoa and not Hennessey this early, as i am still trying to make sense of this.

Madness is in different forms and shapes

Wetin u want make he do?

This is what bullari has caused. Assuming he provided good jabs for the youths, all this nonsence will not happen

what is ur point really?

u need a job

Please I need a Translator!

Bravo!

A really interesting read that takes one away from all the hullabaloo of the news NL serves everyday.

Just loved the feel of everything you have written, bro.

A good novelist U shall make, sir!