Often times when things turns bad for us in our present situation(in relationships most especially), we look back & wish we were with a previous person or some other person.

How long did u spend with ur fiance (dead)  for u to judge he'd be in a better position as a husband? Or how sure are u dat he'ld have married u eventually? Could u be so sure that his heart break wouldn't be much worse?

Every individual has their differences, & there must be a reason why u married ur present husband. If he is no longer that sweet & wonerful man Please work out ur differences 'cos i believe it could be worked at.

@ some posts: Pls & pls A woman's happiness should not be tied majorly to her kids' happiness but hers. One cannot keep being married to a monster just because that person wants to save a broken family. ( so saying "at least stay there cos of the kids" is ruled out, only stay when u know things can work out better & will make u happy)

I know this post was a long time ago, but I saw it and had to respond.

My ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend passed away from cancer. Despite everyone else (including me) thinking it was too early for him to jump into a relationship, he insisted it wasn't. We dated for 2 years and it was a complete nightmare.

Being a woman who is on the other side, I know how your husband feels. Honestly, it's sad what happened to your fiancé, but at the same time if you still had feelings for him, then you shouldn't have gotten involved with anyone else. To some degree it is selfish and unfair to the person giving you all of their love when you are not capable of reciprocating and just taking and taking.

Your husband is probably a good man, just like how I was a good girlfriend to my ex-boyfriend, but no matter what I did nothing made him happy. He just wanted more and more and more and he was mean and cruel to me, but everytime I wanted to leave, he would say sorry and say he would change. He just used me in many different ways and it was unfair. Nothing would have made him happy. It also isn't fair that he compares me to his ex, since we always put those who are no longer with us on a pedestal. You cannot imagine what I went through. It was truly a waste of my precious life and time because he was using me to ease his own pain and didn't know how to grieve properly.

So please, if this is how you feel, let your husband go and don't be selfish. He deserves to be truly loved. Find another way to grieve and cope. I broke up with my ex and have never been happier. Now I am married to the man of my dreams who truly loves me and I regret being with my ex every second. I tried to be understanding but in the end it just wasn't right and wasn't fair. Nobody cares about the new persons feelings, even though they are the ones who are still alive and are innocent and did nothing wrong but try to be there for someone else and be understanding, getting dragged into a loveless and one-way relationship of give give give.