Pls the thread is not a joke [color=#990000][/color]

EfemenaXY:




The thread is a joke.

The level of detail she went into to describe the beatings says a lot in itself.

The too much details made her seem un serious.

Please don't add another child because it will only compound your problems.

If you say I'm unserious thank you I pray you never work in my shoes.

I have two boys I don't think of adding another one now or in future I'm done with childbearing

princesca:
Pls the thread is not a joke I have got several beating of my life I honestly want to leave this is not about love anymore.but about my kids and I.taking them away wont be possible cus I can't afford to pay their school fee for now I can't afford to buy my medications or feed myself I don't even have a transport fare to take me anywhere I have thought of a friends place or family place but none is coming to my head.apart from my mom I think I have no one. staying wih my mom won't help just going to hard more problems to her.yes some people has family they can look up to anytime but I have none except God.even if I have to leave for a week where do I go to?thats the major problem I have now.yes I shouldn't have insulted him and I know I made a mistake by doing that.but when you trust people with your last breathe and you find out what they re doing behind your back you will definitely boost out in anger.if only I know he will choose his girlfriend over me I would have just kept my cool.and besides I don't think I have said too much to warrant this heavy beating.heaven know if I had finance to support myself I won't be here as we speak even if I won't divorce him but I will leave the house for him for few weeks.another thing that made me consider staying put is that we plan to go to the US in March or April there I will try to study a CNA course for 3months and start working afterwards I know he won't dare to lay his featy hands on me cus their law there supports women.the day I was diagnosed with heart weakness the doctor told him to always be at peace with me so I can heal fast.but there no day he don't say nastic things to me.im like a cow that has no tail it's only God that drives flies from my back.just coming from the hospital due to unbearable pains.i hold nothing against him he has done his worse and I can't fight back vegeance is of The Lord I know someday soon the sun will shine on my path and I can able to stand on my feet and be the woman I desire to be in life.im not giving up hopes.thank you all for your comments l learn a lot from these comments

.......You cannot work with your visit visa in the US, no employer will risk employing you when you do not have the legal authorisation to work, the US is not as easy as you read or watch on CNN,except you want to work under the table and become an illegal migrant, even at that, with 2 kids, a heart condition, it is a herculean task for you, l really dont know what advise to give you again because it seems you have nobody to go to except your mom, but dont you have your church members who can harbor you for some weeks?......as long as you live with that monster of a man, you cannot guarantee your tomorrow, so think fast and act fast....

princesca:
If you say I'm unserious thank you I pray you never work in my shoes.

Most times we are the ones that undo ourselves , really sorry for the heart condition. That is the part that bothers me , may God sustain your health so you can raise your kids. Has he always been like this? Can you lay low and find your feet so you can plan your move efficiently ?

Please for now try not respond abeg, so he won't find a reason to hit you till you sort yourself out. Can you start applying in Nigeria first? What of his parents? Do they know what you are going through? Hope you are not covering him up because they will blame you tomorrow if you don't introduce them to their son soon enough . You don't save at all from whatever he gives you for house keeping?

Yes you re right [color=#990000][/color]

princesca:
Yes you re right about working with a visiting visa.but I already marked out my plans and have made contacts I have an underground plan to help me get a stay in 3 months with that I can learn the course I want to learn and moved from there.yes my kids re staying behind so I can get time to Heal.their father is coming to pick them in 6months it's not ideal to go with kids now I know that.just need to stay away from emotional stress.nothing stops me from working hard I'm feat but whenever I have an emotional stress that's what gingers the heart pains.to me I don't think I'm giving much information I just need to let it all heart so I can be at peace with myself for those of you who says I'm giving much information or unserious pls it's not the way you think pls .atleast if I can't trust no one with what I'm going through I should atleast pour my heart on here

I'm really worried about your plans. The U.S. is tough and you have a medical condition. You'll need medical help and drugs and U.S. is really bad on healthcare (expensive and everyone needs some sort of insurance). With these method you're using, you won't be eligible for even govt healthcare (unless you're going to a state like Florida or Californa, where they are used to undocumented workers and are more liberal). And what state are you going to, you need a lot of Nigerians there for your own protection, unless you'll end up as someone's house servant, isolated. And is it the same husband that refuses to give you money for drugs without insults here in Nigeria that will comfortably fork out cash for a course abroad? Who introduced you to these contacts, I thought you had no friends to help you here, how can you trust these people?

I think if you can get the money to do the course, hold onto it and start making other plans.

princesca:
Yes you re right about working with a visiting visa.but I already marked out my plans and have made contacts I have an underground plan to help me get a stay in 3 months with that I can learn the course I want to learn and moved from there.yes my kids re staying behind so I can get time to Heal.their father is coming to pick them in 6months it's not ideal to go with kids now I know that.just need to stay away from emotional stress.nothing stops me from working hard I'm feat but whenever I have an emotional stress that's what gingers the heart pains.to me I don't think I'm giving much information I just need to let it all heart so I can be at peace with myself for those of you who says I'm giving much information or unserious pls it's not the way you think pls .atleast if I can't trust no one with what I'm going through I should atleast pour my heart on here

..You cannot get a 3 months stay in the US, on arrival , depending on the immigration officers at the POE, you will likely get between 3 to 6 months entry stamp and you are expected to exit on expiration, if you violate it, you are attracting possible ban and deportation, so think well before you leap from frying pan to fire, America is not as easy as they are painting it for you, everything you intend to do legally in the US requires some kind of documentation like PR , so l dont know how you will work and go to school when you do not have a permanent residence, except you want to work under the table.

thorpido:
Try to get a job first.Get some financial independence.
The way things are now,I don't think any lady should get married without having a source of income first.

Begin to think of where you can move to in the next few weeks..........your parents' or siblings' place.

You keep telling these women this and they think it's because you're stingy with your money, not knowing it's for their own good.

The other day it was a young married friend from Borno state (Christian though) going on and on about how she has no intention of getting a steady job because her husband, a big shot in the Nigerian army pays her monthly and is responsible for all her foreign trips...she's a graduate o.

I just dey look her dey laff, told her that it seems she doesn't realize that most men would think twice before cheating on a woman they know can sustain themselves comfortably without their financial input...not like she should expect her husband to cheat or that it completely eliminates the possibility of him cheating, but should infidelity become an issue in that marriage, she will have enough clout and courage to give the man an ultimatum or she walks away and continues living comfortably.

A lot of young women these days no just get sense, honestly... most of us with educated mothers know how hard they worked, earned their respect, and were still able to combine all that with taking care of the home-front and then still go out looking sharp and all tushed up.

People really need some mental restructuring, everything is all wrong these days.

To b sincere everyone feel for u n u also nid to tik deep... If Ds contines e mite actually kill ur enemy u just av to listen.. Ds case s more Dan endurance...u don't av to kill urself over marriage...leave em to his Gf,one tin men fails to realize s we all av similar attitude same vagina... I no God ll revenge for u from dat girl.... U can live with nybody...mke his family no Abt Wat e does... N I feel u r hiding ur issue from pple to know... It s beta u let pple know wat u r thru because if ur enemy shld die dey wud blame you 4 nt taking d rite decision... Were u nt living with ur mother b4 u got married n u were fed n she does all u wated... Bcoz e gives u peanut wit beating u feel u r OK like dat... Ur health matters alot... to USA to stay s nt as easy as dey give u story.....my sister u can stay with ur mum n learn hair making, sewing also n u get income from Ds... Feed ur kids n urself.... A word s Enuf 4 d wise....

Well I'm not a lazy wife or looking for someone to take full resoonsibilty of me.im an hustler [color=#990000][/color]

Ok I will think about the US thing and look for work here and start gradually from here till I'm back on my feet again thank you all

D lord s ur strength morning afternoon and night... He will locate u from east north south n West. N bless you abundantly..it s good u r letting ur heart out,it helps ...Sum pple mite nt understand but it s well n God ll heal u n take up ur revenge...

crackhaus:

You keep telling these women this and they think it's because you're stingy with your money, not knowing it's for their own good.

The other day it was a young married friend from Borno state (Christian though) going on and on about how she has no intention of getting a steady job because her husband, a big shot in the Nigerian army pays her monthly and is responsible for all her foreign trips...she's a graduate o.

I just dey look her dey laff, told her that it seems she doesn't realize that most men would think twice before cheating on a woman they know can sustain themselves comfortably without their financial input...not like she should expect her husband to cheat or that it completely eliminates the possibility of him cheating, but should infidelity become an issue in that marriage, she will have enough clout and courage to give the man an ultimatum or she walks away and continues living comfortably.

A lot of young women these days no just get sense, honestly... most of us with educated mothers know how hard they worked, earned their respect, and were still able to combine all that with taking care of the home-front and then still go out looking sharp and all tushed up.

People really need some mental restructuring, everything is all wrong these days.

Na so my brother.Quite a lot of young girls just think having a man who's working and earning a good income is all they need to 'settle' down.

crackhaus:

You keep telling these women this and they think it's because you're stingy with your money, not knowing it's for their own good.

The other day it was a young married friend from Borno state (Christian though) going on and on about how she has no intention of getting a steady job because her husband, a big shot in the Nigerian army pays her monthly and is responsible for all her foreign trips...she's a graduate o.

I just dey look her dey laff, told her that it seems she doesn't realize that most men would think twice before cheating on a woman they know can sustain themselves comfortably without their financial input...not like she should expect her husband to cheat or that it completely eliminates the possibility of him cheating, but should infidelity become an issue in that marriage, she will have enough clout and courage to give the man an ultimatum or she walks away and continues living comfortably.

A lot of young women these days no just get sense, honestly... most of us with educated mothers know how hard they worked, earned their respect, and were still able to combine all that with taking care of the home-front and then still go out looking sharp and all tushed up.
People really need some mental restructuring, everything is all wrong these days.

Very well said!

OP I like your last plan, stick to it and avoid anything that will make him hit you till you are ready to free yourself.

Madam you want him to kill you before you know its over?
Please move out immediately before he kills you. Are you his baby that he'll be using cane on you and he mocks with your ailment you are married to yourself. He that has ears let him hear.

madam you have a good plan but you're giving away too much information.
If your husband or someone close to him comes across this thread,they can put 1 and 1 together and know it is you.
Please edit your posts jare.
Ogbu oge nwere plan just stay safe sha.

Miami11:
You have to leave this marriage immediately

What I don't get is why she wants the obvious spelt out to her. Is she a child who can't discern right from wrong?

Does getting married dim one's reasoning faculty? This thread is a joke.

Unless of course she's aiming for the trophy of the most enduring beaten up wife.

princesca:
Ok I will think about the US thing and look for work here and start gradually from here till I'm back on my feet again thank you all

Yes please, get a job here fast. Don't rely on anything you might be getting through him, the more you do that the more you are dependent on him. Put the US plan on the side, if it materialises, fine, if it doesn't, fine. Most important thing for you to do now is get a source of income FAST, SAVE like mad and LEAVE the murderer the moment you have as much as you need to take care of yourself and the kids. Don't wait till you have millions or US visa. Will hate to see you become another tragic headline in the papers.

Please call the number I posted earlier. They would be able to counsel you better. Also Google other domestic violence organisations in Lagos. They could even talk to your husband and caution him.

Peace.

Thank you all I will give the domestic violence people a call tommorow I actually tried calling yesterday the number was not going though I rely maybe it's because it weekend that why the numbers re not going I will try and reach them tommorow Monday

princesca:
Thank you all I will give the domestic violence people a call tommorow I actually tried calling yesterday the number was not going though I rely maybe it's because it weekend that why the numbers re not going I will try and reach them tommorow Monday

Great step! Please do everything in your power to stay safe, i know it is easy for people to say you should leave but NOBODY will assist if you need a place to stay.

Get in touch with them and see how things unfold.I pray you stay safe and healthy.
Take care dear.Be strong.

princesca:
Ok I will think about the US thing and look for work here and start gradually from here till I'm back on my feet again thank you all

Best of luck.

Madam, you see yourself? What are you looking for in his phone? You better settle with your husband if not that lady will replace you. Babes are not smiling. Pls leave his phone alone.



Some will say that you should leave your home. Let me tell you a secret. Those bad advisers are going through worse in their marriages but choose to work it out.

coldgate:
Madam, you see yourself? What are you looking for in his phone? You better settle with your husband if not that lady will replace you. Babes are not smiling. Pls leave his phone alone.



Some will say that you should leave your home. Let me tell you a secret. Those bad advisers are going through worse in their marriages but choose to work it out.

You are a crazy person. You want her to stay and die. Will you take care of her kids if anything happens to her.