I was that kid who becomes friends with a new and lonely classmate till she finds her feet. I don’t know how to listen to a story without looking at it from the other person’s angle. But when I see certain posts that raise a concern in my heart, I either like something meaningful someone has said or I just pass and shut it off my mind because I don’t want anything bothering me. And I always try to avoid relationship/marriage issues because I am young, inexperienced and I am not a counselor but I notice people around me trust me enough to tell me things personal to them so I can help them in their decision making. So when Steve Harvey wouldn’t stop talking about “doing what you do at your absolute best with the least amount of effort.” I decided to change my favourite excuses of ‘I am not a counselor. I am not a writer. I am not patient. I don’t want controversies. What do I know?’ to ‘This may be helpful to someone. It isn’t taking anything out of me. I enjoy typing (not on phone oh). I have been told I know a lot for my age.’ Enough about myself abeg; now to the story.
Oluchi: “He has left all the responsibilities to me. He doesn’t provide money for anything and I don’t know what he does with his money. I work all day and even borrow to pay our bills. But that’s not the painful part; what pains me most is that he doesn’t appreciate all I do. He doesn’t ask how I manage to do all this or even act like he knows I have taken care of what is supposed to be his responsibility.”
Tolu: “I don’t know why everybody praises my look aside the man I live in the same house with. He hardly notices my new hair or my new nail polish. I have long stopped trying to look good for him because it hurts less when I just do it for me. Buying sexy lingerie is a waste of energy because he won’t even see it. But I hear when he jokingly appreciates other people’s fine clothes, gorgeous body or perfect beauty.
Godwin: “Everybody recognizes am hard working except my wife. Not that she says am not hard working but she just doesn’t say anything about it. She complains about a lot of things but she never praises the ones she doesn’t have problems with.”
Ibe: “The kind of respect I get from outsiders makes me unwilling to go home, because at home, I am treated like nobody, maybe more like trash.”
Sisi: “How can you be married to someone all these years and he never says ‘I love you.’ I am sure he has someone he is telling it out there and I won’t hesitate to become friends with people who make me feel loved. I just chat and spend time with them. It’s not bad.”
Dora: “I take care of the kids, tidy the house, cook, wash, go to work and still run errands for hubby. But he keeps saying he is the one doing everything in the house because my salary is little and I don’t contribute financially. But can money do all the things I do? Does he think I can’t get a better paying job if I decide to take a job without considering accessibility and time availability? When he comes back and sees how tidy the house is, can’t he just appreciate my effort, knowing we don’t have a house help?”
Dear readers, I don’t need to bug you with a long story. Just looking into the above statements will show you the problem is only one thing: LACK OF APPRECIATION. When you appreciate people, it makes them want to do more. It gives them the strength to continue and they will also look for ways to appreciate you. Make that decision to always appreciate, even when you don’t see reasons to.
Don’t stop appreciating and appreciating. Ladies make una dey appreciate oh because na we dey find appreciation pass but na we dey complain most. Instead of saying he should thank God you accepted to marry him, thank him for ignoring all the desperate babes around him and sticking crazily to you. Thank him for always being there for you. Tell him you couldn’t have found a better hubby elsewhere.

He who cannot appreciate fellow humans cannot appreciate God.