Married men in the house, what will you do when your wife does not want to let go of an issue with your mum, up to the extend that she does not greet her again, even in your presence as the husband.

Will seriously have a word with my wife.. and with mum also.. and both must forgv eachoda

Two women can never ever rock on boat.

Even your wife's mum can sometimes turn around to be her enemy if one party tends not to be submissive.

Best decision, settle dem and try as much as possible to keep the apart at all time.

Visiting should last at most a week.

maybe you should stop relating with her mum . But...what did your mama do to her to warrant such behavior? There is no smoke without FIRE. Your wife is really hurt by what your mum did. Plug that hole.

@The archangel, it all started when her mum greeted my mum, and she did not answer her, though my mother in law is older than my mum.

But this had long be dealt with,I even queried my mum that it was not right. I have even reported to her mum, that if she does not change, I will start to behave the way my wife is behaving. If she can't marry my family,I can't marry hers rather.

Kingsron:
@The archangel, it all started when her mum greeted my mum, and she did not answer her, though my mother in law is older than my mum.

But this had long be dealt with,I even queried my mum that it was not right. I have even reported to her mum, that if she does not change, I will start to behave the way my wife is behaving. If she can't marry my family,I can't marry hers rather.

I think there is more to the story than this, ask your wife what really happened, usually it is a chain of problems that led to this, I doubt greeting is the only problem they have.
And why did your mother ignore the mother in law, there could be a problem between the mothers too,

You're running too fast. Slow down pls.

Kingsron:
@The archangel, it all started when her mum greeted my mum, and she did not answer her, though my mother in law is older than my mum.

Now even you will admit that it's disrespectful.

Elders in Naija take issues like this seriously. Your mum should know that, irrespective of whatever differences they might have. Why didn't your mum acknowledge her in-law's greeting?

Kingsron:
But this had long be dealt with,I even queried my mum that it was not right.

When you say it had been long dealt with, how do you mean?

Was this "resolution" between you and your mum only? Or was it between you, your wife, and both mothers? The reason I ask is because it's simply not good enough for you to scold your mum, without her tendering an apology to you wife's mum, and then both of you expecting things to carry on as usual.

You're a married man. Yes, we should at all times accord respect to our parents, but that doesn't mean they are above reproach. They, like any other human being are not infallible and prone to make mistakes. The mature thing is acknowledging one's mistake and doing the right thing, inclusive of tendering an apology where necessary.

Kingsron:
I have even reported to her mum,

Whoa! Take it easy and listen to yourself na.

If this issue between your mum hasn't been appropriately settled, don't you think you'll only succeed in infuriating your already upset mother-in-law, further with this threat / complaint about her daughter?

Kingsron:
that if she does not change, I will start to behave the way my wife is behaving. If she can't marry my family,I can't marry hers rather.

Sorry, but this is childish, and I think you know it.

You shouldn't be taking sides here and should be mature enough to show some restraint. Anyway, I think this all goes back to the point I made earlier on, about there being unresolved issues between both women. You need to go back to the drawing board mate.

Divorce

Kingsron:
@The archangel, it all started when her mum greeted my mum, and she did not answer her, though my mother in law is older than my mum.

But this had long be dealt with,I even queried my mum that it was not right. I have even reported to her mum, that if she does not change, I will start to behave the way my wife is behaving. If she can't marry my family,I can't marry hers rather.

When you do things to people you should expect a reaction
Not everyone is prepared to sit down and look
Why did your mum not respond to your MIL's greeting in the first instance?
What some parents don't understand is that their squabbles can negatively affect their children's marriages

Anyway the mums need to sort out their differences and the faster the better
and pls dont make things worse by starting your own wahala with your wifes family or it will be even more difficult to unravel and resolve
2 wrongs dont make a right
in this case its even 3 wrongs
Someone has to be the adult here

You didn't notice all this before you married your wife?

But some wives get mind sha, refuse to greet your mother in law and even shun her?? Lol, I can't even keep malice with a random stranger or my landlady, let alone my mother in law.

It is a pity that your mom is being treated in such manner. It's shameful.

Think you are right, two wrongs don't make a right. I will see what I can do, but by now I expect my wife to go by my engagements with her in resolving this.

Thanks all for your constructive advice.

I am still expecting more...

Kingsron:
@The archangel, it all started when her mum greeted my mum, and she did not answer her, though my mother in law is older than my mum.

But this had long be dealt with,I even queried my mum that it was not right. I have even reported to her mum, that if she does not change, I will start to behave the way my wife is behaving. If she can't marry my family,I can't marry hers rather.

Your wife is a problem to herself, what can be so hurtful that she can't greet her mother-in-law . Mr talk to her if she insist ignore her for some time trust me she will find herself back and begging.

Has your mum told you why she didn't reply her in-law's greetings?

At the end of the day, it's a woman versus woman issue...

Only women can help themselves, honestly.

That is a case of two elephant fight, it is the ground (you) that will suffer.

Enoquin:
Has your mum told you why she didn't reply her in-law's greetings?

Main Question.

Mr. Kingsron?

TheArchangel:
maybe you should stop relating with her mum . But...what did your mama do to her to warrant such behavior? There is no smoke without FIRE. Your wife is really hurt by what your mum did. Plug that hole.

where you get that dp.

Kingsron:
Married men in the house, what will you do when your wife does not want to let go of an issue with your mum, up to the extend that she does not greet her again, even in your presence as the husband.

Unfortunately, a wife has to show respect to her mother in law regardless. She does not have to hold conversations with her etc etc, but respect is a must
Or else, when she starts to show you too hot pepper.........

Friday18:
where you get that dp.

now you're scaring me. Are you the person on the floor.?

@kingsron Dats immaturity in d highest order. She is a mother and deserves dat respect whatever d case. It's d duty of d daughter in law to greet her......

I always tell my friends, Learn to let go wen situation demands.

Unforgiving spirit, sorry OP i don't know how to deal with such. Maybe you need to give your wife a lesson on forgiveness. Greeting at least is basic,she may avoid any other type of relationship. If i'm your mum,i will start greeting her sef,life is too short to keep malice and salutation is not love.

What exactly did your mum do to her, I'm sure she must have hurt her so deeply , some mother in laws are monsters,

BTW ..did ur mum apologise to her ? Forgiveness is easy when apology is tendered

I hate it when people say .. "Just forgive and Forget " even when the person who has offended u has not changed

EfemenaXY:
You're running too fast. Slow down pls.



Now even you will admit that it's disrespectful.

Elders in Naija take issues like this seriously. Your mum should know that, irrespective of whatever differences they might have. Why didn't your mum acknowledge her in-law's greeting?



When you say it had been long dealt with, how do you mean?

Was this "resolution" between you and your mum only? Or was it between you, your wife, and both mothers? The reason I ask is because it's simply not good enough for you to scold your mum, without her tendering an apology to you wife's mum, and then both of you expecting things to carry on as usual.

You're a married man. Yes, we should at all times accord respect to our parents, but that doesn't mean they are above reproach. They, like any other human being are not infallible and prone to make mistakes. The mature thing is acknowledging one's mistake and doing the right thing, inclusive of tendering an apology where necessary.



Whoa! Take it easy and listen to yourself na.

If this issue between your mum hasn't been appropriately settled, don't you think you'll only succeed in infuriating your already upset mother-in-law, further with this threat / complaint about her daughter?



Sorry, but this is childish, and I think you know it.

You shouldn't be taking sides here and should be mature enough to show some restraint. Anyway, I think this all goes back to the point I made earlier on, about there being unresolved issues between both women. You need to go back to the drawing board mate.

God bless u bro, u are sincere ,concise and u just hit the nail on the head!

They really need to fix their problem from the foundation

Marriage n its numerous issues.am certain there must have been alot of on going issues that resulted to this.

U are giving ur wife ultimatum for disrespecting ur mum n she is also fighting for her mum for being disrespected by ur mum.this will only lead to family feud

I will advise that u shld not allow inlawa n der numerous issues affect ur home.if this gose on n it breaks ur home,ur mum will still remain in ir fathers house n still enjoy her life n her own mother wont leave her father to console her for being divorce for her sake.
In conclusion, the couple are d ones to lose more when inlaw issues are not handle with care.

Alot might call u insensitive or call ur wife names but trust me they also hv der issues dat they cant manage well.

Acidosis:
You didn't notice all this before you married your wife?

But some wives get mind sha, refuse to greet your mother in law and even shun her?? Lol, I can't even keep malice with a random stranger or my landlady, let alone my mother in law.

It is a pity that your mom is being treated in such manner. It's shameful.

It's not shameful for his mother to have snubbed or treated his mother in law that way?

poshestmina:


It's not shameful for his mother to have snubbed or treated his mother in law that way?

It's shameful

Acidosis:
You didn't notice all this before you married your wife?

But some wives get mind sha, refuse to greet your mother in law and even shun her?? Lol, I can't even keep malice with a random stranger or my landlady, let alone my mother in law.

It is a pity that your mom is being treated in such manner. It's shameful.

What is shameful is his mother ignoring the greeting of the wife's mother ! The wife mother is even older than the man's mother, that is another insult !

The man's family seem not to have regard for the wife's family that's why the woman is bitter ! People should learn to respect other people because respect is earned , personaly I cannot respect a mother inlaw that have no regard for my own mother ! Who the hell does she think she is . msheeeeeew

darlenese:



What is shameful is his mother ignoring the greeting of the wife's mother ! The wife mother is even older than the man's mother, that is another insult !

The man's family seem not to have regard for the wife's family that's why the woman is bitter ! People should learn to respect other people because respect is earned , personaly I cannot respect a mother inlaw that have no regard for my own mother ! Who the hell does she think she is . msheeeeeew

You cannot correct a wrong act by doing wrong...

You cannot respect a mother inlaw that have no regard for your own mother.

The key word there is 'mother,' (forget the in law). She is a mother and deserves to be respected.

OP said his mother's attitude towards his mother in law has long been dealt with. So why is the wife still bitter?

Its obvious that the wife has no iota of respect for her husband (OP). If you respect your husband, you will respect his mother.

Acidosis:


You cannot correct a wrong act by doing wrong...
Withounnot respect a mother inlaw that have no regard for your own mother.

The key word there is 'mother,' (forget the in law). She is a mother and deserves to be respected.

Acidosis:


You cannot correct a wrong act by doing wrong...
Withounnot respect a mother inlaw that have no regard for your own mother.

The key word there is 'mother,' (forget the in law). She is a mother and deserves to be respected.

You are just being sentimental , you are the type that judge people for their reactions ignoring the fact that something might have triggered their actions !

As for the bolded , respect is earned and a mother should know better.Even the Bible acknowledges this. That 's why when the Bible advises children to obey their parents , it also admonishes parents not to provoke their children!

darlenese:



You are just being sentimental , you are the type that judge people for their reactions ignoring the fact that something might have triggered their actions !

As for the bolded , respect is earned and a mother should know better.Even the Bible acknowledges this. That 's why the Bible advises children

I'm not denying the fact that something triggered the reaction, but that something (action), according to OP, has long been dealt with.