Kachisbarbie:
The man should try vasectomy, birth control mustn't be the woman's job na. Family planning methods haven't proven to be 100% trustworthy so far, she is only trying to take double-precaution.
I understand her fears.

Lets not be quick to judge, she might have had a scary pregnancy experience and doesn't wanna go down that lane again. We don't know the whole story...

Taking notes

MsGlobalwonder:
does a man get pregnant or complication during child birth? Marriage is a union where issues are shared and solved like one. For God's sake, this woman may have had terrible pregnancies and her life may be on the line if she dares get pregnant again. Nit everyone can stand an abortion. Contraceptive is not 100% and she has gotten one, what is wrong in a man using something as simple as a condom. Condom is a form of contraceptive too and some couple use it. If he can't use a condom, he should do a vasectomy, it is reversible. So, she should use double dose of contraceptive on herself alone or risk her life by getting pregnant because she used just one contraceptive? This woman is not refusing her husband sex, she just wants a little sacrifice and you people are screaming your lungs. It's just pathetic. You guyz are the kind of men women pray against. You know nothing about marriage and sacrifices. *sigh

You're mixing apples and oranges and instead of making your point with facts you've chosen to use sentiments and emotional rhetoric. Perhaps you should go and learn about tube tying, there's nothing life threatening about it! You are still missing the point, the woman is the one not satisfied with the contraceptive methods given to her already, the omen is on her to do whatever it takes to get her confidence back not the man. The man as far as I'm concerned has been tolerant enough by even agreeing to family planning. Your assumption that the woman might have had a terrible experience with her previous pregnancies is nothing but assumptions, we might as well assume that she contracted a disease she doesn't want her husband to know about or she's looking for a way to end her marriage due to a new found love, can you see how silly assumptions are The truth is when it comes to the African context, the man is in charge, a loving man might use condoms for a year or two but trust me after awhile he becomes frustrated, the sex life becomes very bland and this will cause friction in the marriage. The other option for him is a vasectomy which is a lot more dangerous than tube tying. Surgery to reconnect the vas deferens (vasectomy reversal) is available but the reversal procedure is difficult. Sometimes a doctor can remove sperm from the testicle in men who have had a vasectomy or a reversal that didn't work. The sperm can then be used for in vitro fertilization. Both vasectomy reversal and sperm retrieval can be expensive, may not be covered by insurance, and may not always work. So in light of this, I see no easier option than for the woman to go for tube tying, since you are so big on sacrifices why aren't you advocating for this.......Can somebody say double standards?

3rdlegxxx:


Thanks for the input, glad you came and said all that, must have be hard and tough tho..

Well, it is what it is.
I share it when I have to because it will encourage someone else who is going through a similar situation

pentag0nal:
I know a couple that have three children. They don't want another child and the wife insisted they adopt a family planning method. They have gone to the hospital and the family planning has been done but even after that, the wife has insisted that the man must use condom anytime they want to have sex.

The man is very unhappy about this and becoming frustrated.

What you think guys, ladies?

Note that there is no case or suspicion of infidelity here, the woman is so afraid of getting pregnant again.

the wife needs to know her circle very well to avoid pregnancy not treating hubby with the use of condom.she is seriously endangering her marriage.

abbey621:


You're mixing apples and oranges and instead of making your point with facts you've chosen to use sentiments and emotional rhetoric. Perhaps you should go and learn about tube tying, there's nothing life threatening about it! You are still missing the point, the woman is the one not satisfied with the contraceptive methods given to her already, the omen is on her to do whatever it takes to get her confidence back not the man. The man as far as I'm concerned has been tolerant enough by even agreeing to family planning. Your assumption that the woman might have had a terrible experience with her previous pregnancies is nothing but assumptions, we might as well assume that she contracted a disease she doesn't want her husband to know about or she's looking for a way to end her marriage due to a new found love, can you see how silly assumptions are The truth is when it comes to the African context, the man is in charge, a loving man might use condoms for a year or two but trust me after awhile he becomes frustrated, the sex life becomes very bland and this will cause friction in the marriage. The other option for him is a vasectomy which is a lot more dangerous than tube tying. Surgery to reconnect the vas deferens (vasectomy reversal) is available but the reversal procedure is difficult. Sometimes a doctor can remove sperm from the testicle in men who have had a vasectomy or a reversal that didn't work. The sperm can then be used for in vitro fertilization. Both vasectomy reversal and sperm retrieval can be expensive, may not be covered by insurance, and may not always work. So in light of this, I see no easier option than for the woman to go for tube tying, since you are so big on sacrifices why aren't you advocating for this.......Can somebody say double standards?

it's sad. The woman is the one not satisfied with contraceptive? I thought it was already established that contraceptives are not fail-prove and a "double dose" is prescribed. You said the man is being tolerant by agreeing to family planning? . I give up! The man is in charge in Africa, even at the detriment of his partner ?? Sometimes I pinch myself so hard to be sure i'm truly African in Africa because I don't get where all the African belief systems spring out from, especially when it comes to justifying wickedness against women. OMG!! I seriously don't have words. *sigh

Flawlessmakeup:
Family planning is not 100% trustworthy, my mum did that and after 10 yrs she became pregnant, to be on a safe side, let the man go for a vasectomy, lots of pple alwz say sacrifice for ur marriage, let the man go for it, and I saw a comment above abt what if some later happens and the man remarries and the man will want more children? What if something later happens too and the woman wants more children too, sometimes we need to balance things up! Tell the Christain bro to go for a vasectomy and stop raising nore issues since he wants to dive in skin to skin....maybe the woman almost died during the last child birth,u neva can tell.

God bless you. I've learnt a lot from your comment, you just changed my thinking about this marriage drama called "sex". Thank you.

.

Yes, it is enough justification. What is wrong with a lifetime of condoms ?
So having more child than you can care for is best ?
Smart woman, she should be commended.

pentag0nal:


While I understand your points, is this enough justification for a woman to sentence her husband to a lifetime of condoms?

MsGlobalwonder:
it's sad. The woman is the one not satisfied with contraceptive? I thought it was already established that contraceptives are not fail-prove and a "double dose" is prescribed. You said the man is being tolerant by agreeing to family planning? . I give up! The man is in charge in Africa, even at the detriment of his partner ?? Sometimes I pinch myself so hard to be sure i'm truly African in Africa because I don't get where all the African belief systems spring out from, especially when it comes to justifying wickedness against women. OMG!! I seriously don't have words. *sigh

Stop being so melodramatic! Most African men don't like family planning but the husband is tolerant enough to understand its importance. Contraceptives are not fail proof, agreed! So why are you against tube tying? Since being pregnant is the problem and she has decided that her 3 kids is enough for her, why are you against tube tying? Let me guess, it's easier to play the victim card Let me open your eyes a little, even the condoms that you are advocating are not fail proof and it's absolutely incomprehensible that a wife would make it compulsory for her husband to wear a condom before love making. Like I said, the man might comply for a year or two but trust me he's going to lose it one day and do the unthinkable. This is not about being in charge or insensitive, it's about common sense! You are not a man and I doubt if you are even married, go and speak with married couples of 5 or more years, ask the husband if he can wear condom for the rest of his marriage just to ease his wife's fear of pregnancy. You would be surprised that most men would say unless she's got some type of disease the answer is no!

Plus their colleagues: tosyne2much and irunobo

quote author=pentag0nal post=43061405]I wonder what Ishilove & Beremx will think about this...... [/quote]

pentag0nal:


The wife is well educated and she knows that. according to her, she does not want to take any chances of getting pregnant again so the man must settle for condom forever.

I hope it is not your wife you are talking about?

Cutehector:
The wife needs to get enlightened that condoms aren't the only means in practicing birth control..

This is where the doctor comes into play

"They have gone to the hospital and the family planning has been done" Bros did you read the post properly? lol!

Kazna69:


"insert out " RIP English language teachers. SMFH

Oga no vex...na my female teacher cos am....she too dey talk about insert insert...for classroom...!!!

menabae:
if the woman knws and can calculate her ovulation period then she av no thing to fear about,bt if she doesn't knw anything abt her ovulation abeg let her stick to her condom,becos family planning is not 100% reliable fact,and it does work on some women effectively while some fails,I'm saying this becos I witness a similar case that happened to one couple some years back,they agreed to have family planning but along the line. Injection or pills watever method she took didn't work unknowingly for her she took in,while she still believes she is on family planning ,untill the belle don reach six month before she knew wtf?the husband couldn't believed his ear so he denied the pregnancy and the wife,he said he was not the one responsible ,so he rejected the baby and the mother till date....so I will advice her to go for condom to avoid story that touches....

what? till date?? The man must be heartless. Like he is from heaven eh!

I wish our great grand parents used condoms and family planning...
All this I too sabi family dem sef.
Family planning have side-effects

pentag0nal:


I agree with you. This is a cool Christian bro who has no one else but his wife. This woman asked for family planning, the man took her to the hospital, paid the bill and got the family planning done only for the woman to demand that he must also always use condom as additional protection against pregnancy.

How do you expect a married young man to be sentenced to a lifetime of condoms with his own wife?

married young man?

Wahala deeey!!!

wait a minute..... How did the Op come to know?? Did they discuss it with him??

abbey621:


You're mixing apples and oranges and instead of making your point with facts you've chosen to use sentiments and emotional rhetoric. Perhaps you should go and learn about tube tying, there's nothing life threatening about it! You are still missing the point, the woman is the one not satisfied with the contraceptive methods given to her already, the omen is on her to do whatever it takes to get her confidence back not the man. The man as far as I'm concerned has been tolerant enough by even agreeing to family planning. Your assumption that the woman might have had a terrible experience with her previous pregnancies is nothing but assumptions, we might as well assume that she contracted a disease she doesn't want her husband to know about or she's looking for a way to end her marriage due to a new found love, can you see how silly assumptions are The truth is when it comes to the African context, the man is in charge, a loving man might use condoms for a year or two but trust me after awhile he becomes frustrated, the sex life becomes very bland and this will cause friction in the marriage. The other option for him is a vasectomy which is a lot more dangerous than tube tying. Surgery to reconnect the vas deferens (vasectomy reversal) is available but the reversal procedure is difficult. Sometimes a doctor can remove sperm from the testicle in men who have had a vasectomy or a reversal that didn't work. The sperm can then be used for in vitro fertilization. Both vasectomy reversal and sperm retrieval can be expensive, may not be covered by insurance, and may not always work. So in light of this, I see no easier option than for the woman to go for tube tying, since you are so big on sacrifices why aren't you advocating for this.......Can somebody say double standards?

Gbam!! Well nailed on the head. Even sef on the right spot.

Medunah:

Family planning is not 100% so it makes sense for her to tell her husband to use condom. No one knows wat she went through b4 aving those 3. The husband should get a vasectomy if he can't use a condom. After all, it isn't one sided

just listen to urself.

The husband should hav a vasectomy..

Mchew.. may God neva direct me to ladies like u amen.

asalimpo:
can't a vasectomy fix this? (besides y is she scared of having anoda child. One last babe. It maynt be as bad as she thinks. You never know which one will save/change the world)

In this 21st and economic recession, you're advocating for another child? Taking of one isn't easy talkless of having many

Vasectomy can be reserved. If he does it and he changes his mind, he can get it reverse so he can impregnate a woman again

abbey621:


Stop being so melodramatic! Most African men don't like family planning but the husband is tolerant enough to understand its importance. Contraceptives are not fail proof, agreed! So why are you against tube tying? Since being pregnant is the problem and she has decided that her 3 kids is enough for her, why are you against tube tying? Let me guess, it's easier to play the victim card Let me open your eyes a little, even the condoms that you are advocating are not fail proof and it's absolutely incomprehensible that a wife would make it compulsory for her husband to wear a condom before love making. Like I said, the man might comply for a year or two but trust me he's going to lose it one day and do the unthinkable. This is not about being in charge or insensitive, it's about common sense! You are not a man and I doubt if you are even married, go and speak with married couples of 5 or more years, ask the husband if he can wear condom for the rest of his marriage just to ease his wife's fear of pregnancy. You would be surprised that most men would say unless she's got some type of disease the answer is no!

And he hits the knockout blow!!!












Ladies and Gentlemen............................ The winner of this contest....... By Unanimous decision is...............................................................................................................................................................................
















Abbey621!!! Abbey! Abbey!! Abbey!!!









Lol.....

victme1:


now a reasonable person is talking here!!!!! I hail O!

Just saw this. It's just my view, glad u cld reckon wt it.

I wonder why the women are the ones to take the burden when it comes to issue like this.I think the op did not give is detailes of the happening in d family.

1) what if all d 3 kids she has are thru cs n she has been advised not to attempt any
2)what if she is one of d few women that go thru pregancy with a lot of issues such as pre eclampsia, protein in urin ,diabetic etc
3 ) having miscarriage alone n going for evacuation isn't funny at all not to talk of ppl suggesting evacation incase she gets pregnant.
Are we to subject her to routine drugs all her life just in d name of saving marriage?

To all who think she is trying to break her home,if a man is a cheat,even if u bend n break urself to pla him he will still do dat.


I hv a 5month old daughter n my husband specifically said no to any form of family planning except condom.his reason is dat we are still havin kids n he doesn't wnt excuse wen we are ready for d nxt n he doesn't want the nxt to come wen we are nt both ready.even wen am carried away,he does not forget to get d condom.

I guess marrying one who is in d biz with u os just d solution.



In cases like dis dat is wen men will nt wnt to be d head to lead by example.

End time family planning

MirandaPrestly:


Well, it is what it is.
I share it when I have to because it will encourage someone else who is going through a similar situation

Thanks all the mature for being mature and coming through like this, even tho I am a guy and it probably benefits me little, hope the ladies take a cue from it, take care, stay strong and be happy, happiness is the most important of any human life.

Abi the woman get HIV ni?

folks, mind what you say even though it's an anonymous forum.

not every thread is opened by sane people, this jumping on the bandwagon is too common here, somebody opens a senseless thread on an inane topic, replies him or her self using two to four different monikers, next thing you know is nlers want to quench on top the matter.

that's s.tupid. Find better things to do with your time.

Strahovski1:
What is family planning? Is it a medicine that prevent pregnancy? As long as man bang without cd. And it cum inside woman. Woman bring baby.

That's what my daddy told me

So I support the woman. Family planing my ass

Na y u no wan get brain.

Jonwesley:
I want to believe that the woman's fear is uncalled for. She shouldn't have done the procedure on herself then and rather insists on the husband using Condoms, then I will agree. Why punish or sentence your husband to that misery of condom for rest of his life when U have the protection done, even if it fails or not 100% safe. I also wonder how a wife will appreciate love making with a husband that way. That idea is abnormal and kills the essence of marriage. Vasectomy is good as suggested but it's not reversible as the women's procedure and prone to cancers in later life as stated by medical research. I even think this woman will still insist on the man to wear a condom if he has a vasectomy done on himself for the fears she keep having. The likes of Tufanja, though knowledgeable are a bit emotional about the subject and may not understand the practical nature of matrimony yet.
Now with what is in place, the couple can add safety/rythm method but skin to skin, unsafe/withdrawal or spermicide or use CD method as supports to her not getting pregnant but then they both enjoy freedom within these periods with the agreement of both shifting grounds to accommodate each other.
She also ought to know that the skin to skin is for her perfect feel and enjoyment except she's just hypocritical about love making or she has something yet to say or hiding. Doesn't CD burst at times, so what kind of guarantee is she asking for, abeg.

vasectomy is reversible

pentag0nal:
I know a couple that have three children. They don't want another child and the wife insisted they adopt a family planning method. They have gone to the hospital and the family planning has been done but even after that, the wife has insisted that the man must use condom anytime they want to have sex.

The man is very unhappy about this and becoming frustrated.

What you think guys, ladies?

Note that there is no case or suspicion of infidelity here, the woman is so afraid of getting pregnant again.

Condom can NEVER be as sweet and natural as Niggar Raw! She might as well get her hubby a new wife, cos her hubby is bound to swing outside. [size=16pt]Clap for her abeg[/size]

chrisbaby24:

Oga no vex...na my female teacher cos am....she too dey talk about insert insert...for classroom...!!!

choii guy dat ting na coded language o! She need pessin to insert quick quick, no dull am if she make sense!