I WRONG? PLEASE JUDGE ME.
COPIED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am an Accountant in one of the leading banks in Nigeria. I
married 12years ago. I never had any problem in my
marriage not until I told my husband that we need to build a
house of our own.

This is how it happened. I brought this idea before him, he
was very happy but asked me where he's going to get the
money to buy land not to talk about building on it." You
know I am not financially stable " he replied. I told him not
to worry, that was going to be of help to him.

A month after, my husband told me that there was a plot of
land to be sold. We arranged a meeting with the owner of
the land and we were taken to the place. I saw this plot of
land by myself and I like the area where the land is. We
talked about the price, and the owner of the land said the
land was to be sold 1million naira.

The following day, when I was coming from work I cashed
the money and gave it to my husband as the head of the
family, to pay for the land. The money was diverted by my
husband for another purpose. I was mad but what can I do
as a wife who doesn't want her home to tear apart. I over-
looked it and move on with my life.

A year after, I brought the same idea to my husband again
because I don't like the bogus amount we spent on rent
yearly. I gave him another 1million to get another plot of
land. To my surprised, my husband could not account for
how the money was spent and did not buy the land. This
time around I did not take it easy with him. He knew he was
guilty, he begged me and promised not to play on me again.
At this junction, I felt I should give him a surprise by getting
the land myself. I bought a plot of land without his
knowledge and later told him. He did not take it likely with
me. He considered me to have taken his place in the family.
As I am speaking to you now there is rancour and acrimony
in our home because he has decided to back out.
How to handle this issue I don't know because it has gone
beyond me, and I don't want to lose my home purposely
because of my children.
I need you to judge me if I was wrong with my decision
because, I don't feel I was wrong. Advice me where
necessary, and tell me the way forward, plea......se!

Op, u haven't done anything wrong at all if all you said is true. I am sorry to tell you that your husband is one selfish $ egocentric person.

I so hate people that doesn't accept fault but play smart by making u feel guilty. It is wickedness.

Op, relax ur muscles. If u av tried to sit him down to talk things through and he is hell-bent or not givin listening ear, go talk to somone u know he respect a lot(his dad/mum/mentor or a true man of God) and explain things. Hopefully, he should be able to come back to his senses.

Hmmmm

Madam, lemme tell u d truth..

Your husband made a convenant not to ever own a house in his life...This convenant was made years before you guys got married. His life depends on it. if he continues to stay in that house, knowing he would soon own a home, he would die..
I know you don't want him to die....

so this is what u should do....sell d land u bought...to save ur marriage n so that you won't be a widow...
when your husband comes home, look for a bible believing church and start going..Ask the pastor to conduct deliverance for Oga, after which you can now buy as many lands as u want...

dalu.

DDeliverer:
Madam, lemme tell u d truth..

Your husband made a convenant not to ever own a house in his life...This convenant was made years before you guys got married. His life depends on it. if he continues to stay in that house, knowing he would soon own a home, he would die..
I know you don't want him to die....

so this is what u should do....sell d land u bought...to save ur marriage n so that you won't be a widow...
when your husband comes home, look for a bible believing church and start going..Ask the pastor to conduct deliverance for Oga, after which you can now buy as many lands as u want...

dalu.

er you drunk ?

Chei madam ur husband needs to see TB Joshua..

Dammed93:

madame u did no wrong in making plans towards owning a house.the ingenuity & doggedness of some reasonable wives are the reasons some men own houses now.your husband is scared of the cost it might incur.not to worry just find one his friends that is also a house owner & discuss with him. please don't make him feel 'financially inferior' & always carry him along with every plan

God don't ever make me behave like the op's husband, who without shame 'duped' the wife of 2million naira and now trying to blackmail her with the 'I'm the head' emotion. Just keep ur land op, fence it and leave it like that (or lease it to a mechanic). After he is done sulking( it could take him years) , he will come back to his senses

Habah! This is wrong!! 2milla wasted and he's complaining of this great thing you have done for the family Not even for yourself oo. The fact is that your solution is not here on NL..

Why do some men feel too bossy sef?

At times ma'am some issues ar not might to be treated softly...
how on earth will someone not be happy to own a house?
Probably because d money is not coming from em.

Ma'am u need to start working on dat land now dat d money is coming n u still got d strength.

Your children are most important.

@Dammed93

isnt it obvious?! your husband can ONLY start this land/building project "if" and/or "when" HIS money pays for it. that man's ego is in the way and you will never find happiness unless that ego is surgically removed from his brain. you can even bring the land + house built on it and he will still reject it. that man doesnt have your family's wellbeing in mind when he does all his nonsense, he only has himself and his low self esteem bs EGO in mind.

i can already hear that man:"how dare his wife will pay for the house where his family will live"

sadly, you are also to be blamed for this nonsense... how come you have 1milla (thrice) that your struggling husband doesnt know about?! what kind of family unit is this?!

Hope u didn't buy the land in his name sha!!..coz dis ur magarism dey fear me. Person wey no dey financially stable, carry one million waste, u still carry another one million give am again im waste am. U com buy d land stil with ur own money. The man vex comot for house. U com dey here dey worry...................May God heal ur marriage

Dammed93:
I WRONG? PLEASE JUDGE ME.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am an Accountant in one of the leading banks in Nigeria. I
married 12years ago. I never had any problem in my
marriage not until I told my husband that we need to build a
house of our own.

This is how it happened. I brought this idea before him, he
was very happy but asked me where he's going to get the
money to buy land not to talk about building on it." You
know I am not financially stable " he replied. I told him not
to worry, that was going to be of help to him.

A month after, my husband told me that there was a plot of
land to be sold. We arranged a meeting with the owner of
the land and we were taken to the place. I saw this plot of
land by myself and I like the area where the land is. We
talked about the price, and the owner of the land said the
land was to be sold 1million naira.

The following day, when I was coming from work I cashed
the money and gave it to my husband as the head of the
family, to pay for the land. The money was diverted by my
husband for another purpose. I was mad but what can I do
as a wife who doesn't want her home to tear apart. I over-
looked it and move on with my life.

A year after, I brought the same idea to my husband again
because I don't like the bogus amount we spent on rent
yearly. I gave him another 1million to get another plot of
land. To my surprised, my husband could not account for
how the money was spent and did not buy the land. This
time around I did not take it easy with him. He knew he was
guilty, he begged me and promised not to play on me again.
At this junction, I felt I should give him a surprise by getting
the land myself. I bought a plot of land without his
knowledge and later told him. He did not take it likely with
me. He considered me to have taken his place in the family.
As I am speaking to you now there is rancour and acrimony
in our home because he has decided to back out.
How to handle this issue I don't know because it has gone
beyond me, and I don't want to lose my home purposely
because of my children.
I need you to judge me if I was wrong with my decision
because, I don't feel I was wrong. Advice me where
necessary, and tell me the way forward, plea......se!

Madam,

Don't let your man intimidate you, there some things that have to be done by force.

Your husband's ego is getting a hold of him, he will come around.

Just be strong, organise the money and start building.

I no alot of my mum friends that are were once in your shoes, they didn't build and now they built but it was late and it was not as easy as it would have been back then. The so called husband that didn't want them building the house now stays in the house with them.

My opinion is don't back down, if you need to code it so that the he doesn't no so that there will be peace do so but don't stop the project, do it in your name, and continue cos nothing last forever.

That the advice I would give my sister. You don't want to start building house at old age..

My 2 cents.

No, you ain't wrong.