Salam! pls,no one should bother saying I should end the relationship cos I have decided to take her as my wife after much considerations..........not after being with her for 4yrs+

Actually my girlfriend is igbo/Christian while am yoruba/Muslim and we have decided to leave it as it is except that our children will practice Islam which is my own religion....I would love her to convert though but I know Islam is about free will,so I will just wait for Allah to touch her while she is in my house.

Now this is where I need your advice.....
We are actually planning to get married soon and its going to be traditional and court wedding as agreed,but I don't know how I am going to balance the religion aspect at the traditional wedding since the whole thing will take place in the east. Brothers and sister,how do I stay within the tenets of Islam and at the same time not make my in-laws feel encroached? What does Islam state relating to this kind of situation? ADVICE

follow ur gut

Sincerely you want what islam says









then opt out

Sincerely you want what islam says









then opt out

Christian, Court wedding? Several things not looking right here.
However, I will posit that you should have put in more efforts to revert her back to Islaam during the past four years. It seems you underestimated how big an issue it will later become.
Brother, she must change o. I repeat, she must revert back to Islaam before u marry her. This gentleman agreement that ur children will practice Islaam doesnt give much succour. It remains to be seen if she would abide by the terms of agreement. Hope u've not fixed a marriage date? Double ur efforts on making her see the right path(Islaam). Though only Allaah guides.
But why court marriage? Pls refrain.

Anyone has a reasonable piece of advice for this young man? Preferably someone who has been in the same scenario or who has experienced something similar before.
A Muslim man does not sin by marrying a Christian if I'm correct. So contribute pls.

Op you know its halal to marry ahlul kitab (Jews and Christians) since you are the man in this case. With regards to how the wedding will be done, I'm not a scholar but from my little understanding of the deen i think your marriage should fulfill the following
Dowry
Waliy
Witnesses

Someone should help with the last, i think there are 4 conditions.

olakrim:
Salam! pls,no one should bother saying I should end the relationship cos I have decided to take her as my wife after much considerations..........not after being with her for 4yrs+
Actually my girlfriend is igbo/Christian while am yoruba/Muslim and we have decided to leave it as it is except that our children will practice Islam which is my own religion....I would love her to convert though but I know Islam is about free will,so I will just wait for Allah to touch her while she is in my house.
Now this is where I need your advice.....
We are actually planning to get married soon and its going to be traditional and court wedding as agreed,but I don't know how I am going to balance the religion aspect at the traditional wedding since the whole thing will take place in the east. Brothers and sister,how do I stay within the tenets of Islam and at the same time not make my in-laws feel encroached? What does Islam state relating to this kind of situation? ADVICE

olakrim:
Salam! pls,no one should bother saying I should end the relationship cos I have decided to take her as my wife after much considerations..........not after being with her for 4yrs+

Actually my girlfriend is igbo/Christian while am yoruba/Muslim and we have decided to leave it as it is except that our children will practice Islam which is my own religion....I would love her to convert though but I know Islam is about free will,so I will just wait for Allah to touch her while she is in my house.

Now this is where I need your advice.....
We are actually planning to get married soon and its going to be traditional and court wedding as agreed,but I don't know how I am going to balance the religion aspect at the traditional wedding since the whole thing will take place in the east. Brothers and sister,how do I stay within the tenets of Islam and at the same time not make my in-laws feel encroached? What does Islam state relating to this kind of situation? ADVICE

I know a lot of people will be gunning for your head but I'd like to say that you've gotta follow your heart.

I have a friend named Mauroofdeen. He's married to a christian but not sure of the tribe. Presently, they're blessed with 2 kids and living happily.

As you've prayed to urs, Allah SWT touched my friend's wife's soul that she willingly submitted to the will of Allah SWT. Now, she's on the verge of graduating from Arabic School learning the Glorious Quran with her kids.

Only Allah SWT guides and I pray He guide you to the right path and perfect your way both in this life and the Hereafter.

carinmom:
Op you know its halal to marry ahlul kitab (Jews and Christians) since you are the man in this case. With regards to how the wedding will be done, I'm not a scholar but from my little understanding of the deen i think your marriage should fulfill the following
Dowry
Waliy
Witnesses
Someone should help with the last, i think there are 4 conditions.

The first condition is asking and acceptance.

I agree with you. As long as these conditions are met, he can go ahead.

Op But u need to think about this very well. Are you sure your children will practice Islam? What if you die b4 u can put them on the right track.

If u were dying, would she be the one beside you. Would she encourage you to say laillahaillallah or will she pray over you in Jesus name?

Brother my advice to you is to go for it and address that issue of court marriage. I suggest that to respect their culture and religion, participate in the traditional wedding and follow it by a proper islamic marriage ritual with waliy (hers and yours) a dowry and witnesses. And never make a mistake of allowing her to take any of your childrens to her religion, try as much as you can to covert her to the truth. I know later in life i may definitely be confronted with such a problem being a hausa muslim kano guy in love with a yoruba xtian girly. Goodluck.

carinmom:
Op you know its halal to marry ahlul kitab (Jews and Christians) since you are the man in this case. With regards to how the wedding will be done, I'm not a scholar but from my little understanding of the deen i think your marriage should fulfill the following
Dowry
Waliy
Witnesses
Someone should help with the last, i think there are 4 conditions.

4th condition: There must be offer and acceptance.

This is serious.

MurphyG1:


4th condition: There must be offer and acceptance.

Thank you.

Another Yunusa in the making. Dnt waste ur time with my igbo sister.

.

lolaed:

The first condition is asking and acceptance.

I agree with you. As long as these conditions are met, he can go ahead.

Op But u need to think about this very well. Are you sure your children will practice Islam? What if you die b4 u can put them on the right track.

If u were dying, would she be the one beside you. Would she encourage you to say laillahaillallah or will she pray over you in Jesus name?

1000 likes for this post.

olakrim:
Salam! pls,no one should bother saying I should end the relationship cos I have decided to take her as my wife after much considerations..........not after being with her for 4yrs+

Actually my girlfriend is igbo/Christian while am yoruba/Muslim and we have decided to leave it as it is except that our children will practice Islam which is my own religion....I would love her to convert though but I know Islam is about free will,so I will just wait for Allah to touch her while she is in my house.

Now this is where I need your advice.....
We are actually planning to get married soon and its going to be traditional and court wedding as agreed,but I don't know how I am going to balance the religion aspect at the traditional wedding since the whole thing will take place in the east. Brothers and sister,how do I stay within the tenets of Islam and at the same time not make my in-laws feel encroached? What does Islam state relating to this kind of situation? ADVICE

Bro, you can marry her since we muslim men are allowed to marry christain and Jewish woman, but the court wedding is not permitted in Islam because, court wedding is more or less like a Christian wedding. Where you can't be allowed to marry another wife because, you got married under the marriage act.

The traditional wedding can be done if you don't buy anything haram like alcohol, palm wine.
Since you both agreed that your kids will be practicing Islam, no problem. I pray Allah touches are heart to accept Islam.
Allah bless your Union.

olakrim:
Salam! pls,no one should bother saying I should end the relationship cos I have decided to take her as my wife after much considerations..........not after being with her for 4yrs+
Actually my girlfriend is igbo/Christian while am yoruba/Muslim and we have decided to leave it as it is except that our children will practice Islam which is my own religion....I would love her to convert though but I know Islam is about free will,so I will just wait for Allah to touch her while she is in my house.
Now this is where I need your advice.....
We are actually planning to get married soon and its going to be traditional and court wedding as agreed,but I don't know how I am going to balance the religion aspect at the traditional wedding since the whole thing will take place in the east. Brothers and sister,how do I stay within the tenets of Islam and at the same time not make my in-laws feel encroached? What does Islam state relating to this kind of situation? ADVICE

I am right in your shoes ,i am a muslim and she was a xtain,we have been together for more than 6yrs just that she has converted to Islam now but all the same,dont force her just be praying for her, as for the wedding,it is believed that wedding is meant for the wife(Yoruba blv)....it should be practised in her way or religion.... You can still do Nikkai before or after,it depends on you
It always involves many challenges,may Allah help us all

So many ignorant comments up there. There's nothing wrong in marrying a jew or a christian, but I personally won't go for that because problem arises after you have children. If she agrees your children will be fully muslims then go for it but even then be careful as women tend to change after marriage. But who knows, like the poster above said she might willingly become a Muslim.

olakrim:
Salam! pls,no one should bother saying I should end the relationship cos I have decided to take her as my wife after much considerations..........not after being with her for 4yrs+

Actually my girlfriend is igbo/Christian while am yoruba/Muslim and we have decided to leave it as it is except that our children will practice Islam which is my own religion....I would love her to convert though but I know Islam is about free will,so I will just wait for Allah to touch her while she is in my house.

Now this is where I need your advice.....
We are actually planning to get married soon and its going to be traditional and court wedding as agreed,but I don't know how I am going to balance the religion aspect at the traditional wedding since the whole thing will take place in the east. Brothers and sister,how do I stay within the tenets of Islam and at the same time not make my in-laws feel encroached? What does Islam state relating to this kind of situation? ADVICE

You're knowingly walking into destruction brother. I pray you don't regret your decision but I know the chances you will are very very high.

Ihidina siratal mustaqeem.

Bro, I realised you didn't have many reply on this matter you posted, simply because other readers belief you're on your own. Well, I belief you're really on your own.

ayuseyuse:
Bro, I realised you didn't have many reply on this matter you posted, simply because other readers belief you're on your own. Well, I belief you're really on your own.

People will definitely reply, posted created 29th Feb.

Austin4lif:
Another Yunusa in the making. Dnt waste ur time with my igbo sister.

Ma Sha Allah brother,
First of all May Allah ease your affairs
Secondly i will like to condemn d comments of doze dt had no rigid knowledge abt d islamic position on dis dt has been given dia own self created fatwa n condemning ur act. Its better you keep quiet abt wt u knw nothing abt instead of giving false advice n creating problem for others n yourself.

Now back to you brother
It is permissible for you to marry her, provided she respect u n ur religion, you CANNOT COMPEL her to become a muslim, d Qur'an clearly states that. Allow her to practice her religion
Its advisable u av have both had a deep thot abt d whole issue before u get started, clearly state to her wt is/nt permissible in Islam. May Allah guide u both.

Concerning dia marriage ryts, do what is needful n halal, do nt engage in prohibited acts. Kindly ask her to giv u details of hw d ceremony is goin to b like, so u wud knw before hand wt u wud engage in or nt.
Make her understand d islamic perspective of wts prohibited in islam dt myt seem offensive wen rejected frm her people.

Lastly make her see the beauty of Islam, dnt make herlook at wt a muslim does bt make her understand what Allah n His prophet had enjoined on the mumeens.

Allahu a'lam

Follow what d Qur'an n d sunnah states n. U'd b glad
May Allah ease all of our affairs

PassingShot:

You're knowingly walking into destruction brother. I pray you don't regret your decision but I know the chances you will are very very high.

Ihidina siratal mustaqeem.

Stop spreading dis ur ignorance n falsehood, make enquiry of wt u do nt knw, or u kip quiet.

May Allah guide ur thots...

olakrim:
Salam! pls,no one should bother saying I should end the relationship cos I have decided to take her as my wife after much considerations..........not after being with her for 4yrs+

Actually my girlfriend is igbo/Christian while am yoruba/Muslim and we have decided to leave it as it is except that our children will practice Islam which is my own religion....I would love her to convert though but I know Islam is about free will,so I will just wait for Allah to touch her while she is in my house.

Now this is where I need your advice.....
We are actually planning to get married soon and its going to be traditional and court wedding as agreed,but I don't know how I am going to balance the religion aspect at the traditional wedding since the whole thing will take place in the east. Brothers and sister,how do I stay within the tenets of Islam and at the same time not make my in-laws feel encroached? What does Islam state relating to this kind of situation? ADVICE

You get mind o

Hmmm.... I pray u won't regret ds decision of urs. I pity ur unborn children, honestly. May Allah guide u to make d right decision. Ameen.

Thanks MoD for pushing this to front ,its my second topic created.

And very big thanks to my brothers and sisters that have commented and ones that will still do. May we never depart from the path of light

daretodiffer:


You get mind o

Abi,thanks

Gosh! Muslims are the most hypocritical and judgmental people I've ever met. No wonder!! See grown men telling him he's walking to destruction and they pity his life and his children? Basically cursing him, his wife to be and his unborn children? How does Islam reflect on your life then? Because the man chose to marry a Christian woman? Y'all that married Muslim women, how are you sure of Al-Janah?? Smh.

OP, please go ahead and marry your wife Abeg. Since she's agreed to let your children practice Islam when they're born. But make sure to always teach them the Islamic way, take them to prayers and even enroll them in madrasah. Pray for your wife, but don't force her to follow you to the mosque. Congratulations on your impending marriage. May it be full of happiness.

abeg go on. am following your footsteps too