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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) (4409 Views)
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Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by lanicky(f): 1:15pm On Mar 10, 2016 |
Lets be honest with ourselves, the typical Nigerian mum is a unique and beautiful creature created specially by God. The typical Nigerian mum is full of life, social, fashionable and is passionate about her family. 1. A typical Nigerian mum will always answer question for question..lol Child: mum, where should I drop this cup? Nigerian mum: Drop it on my head. 2. When the child says "mum, I want to go and play with my friend" Niger mum's reply will be *in a commanding tone with arms akimbo* "You must not go o, because have never seen that friend of yours in this house before". 3. A typical Nigeria mum is referred to as ‘Mama Somebody’ A Nigerian mum is referred to as Mama Nkechi or Mama Tolu. As soon as that child comes out of you, your identity changes. You become ‘Mama Somebody’. Lol 4. She's an expert in the art of backing a child You cannot call yourself a typical Nigerian mum if you have never backed your child. Haba. I remember when I was young, I used to back my younger ones..me wey never even born pikin. The first trick any Nigerian mother or mother-in-law will teach her female child is the art of backing. This art is as old as time itself. 5. A Nigerian mum will not allow you to change the boring television channel even when she's not watching. If you dare insist to change the channel, she will be like "Tolu, oya go and read your books. At your age we were not allowed to watch Tele" 6. Her backside is noticeable from afar While this may not apply to all Nigerian mums, but let’s be honest, most of the mums we see on the streets or in our homes have a nice round ‘backyard’. Childbirth and marriage gradually changes their figures as the years roll by. The good thing however is that their backsides are needed to ‘elegantly’ carry their wrappers or traditional attires that they so love to wear. 7. She's a ‘gele’ or scarf tying expert No matter what part of the country you are from. The typical Nigerian mum knows how to tie a head scarf or ‘gele’. The skills some Nigerian mums have in this regard, is simply extra-ordinary. 8. A typical Nigerian mum will tell her child's teacher to beat her child in school if he/she does not do the right thing, but if the teacher dare beat her child, Niger mum go wear trouser go fight the teacher for school. Lol My granny once did this. 9. Her wrapper is one of her most important possessions No matter how ‘posh’ or ‘classy’, she may claim to be, the typical Nigerian mum at least has a wrapper of some sort in her wardrobe. Wrappers are an essential item for backing children, dressing light to avoid the heat on days when there is no light or to protect us from dreaded mosquito bites. 10. Her eye is the most powerful tool of correction Eye signal is perhaps the most powerful tool for the Nigerian mum. Woe betide any child that fails to read what their mother’s eyes are saying. 11. When you offend your mum and people plead on your behalf. Niger mum will be like "ahhh! I promise not to beat her again", but when you get into the room, mum will lock the door and say "I'll beat the hell out of you today" I do experience this when I was younger, cos I was a very stubborn girl. 11. ‘I will beat you’ is always at the tip of her tongue Any Nigerian mother who hasn’t threatened to beat her child is lying. When a child misbehaves the first words at the tip of the Nigerian mother’s tongue is ‘I will beat you.’ Even a 10 month old baby is not spared. 12. No matter how educated she is, she still believes in traditional medicine and self medication. 13. "There's no food for you in this house today" Lol. Most Nigerian mum threaten their child with this phrase whenever she's angry. Lalasticlala oya talk your own. 10 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by donbenedict(m): 1:17pm On Mar 10, 2016 |
Nigerian mum dat will be sittn down one place and call nneka to give her the cup dats just beside her. 6 Likes |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by lanicky(f): 1:20pm On Mar 10, 2016 |
donbenedict: Lol So true. |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by donbenedict(m): 1:23pm On Mar 10, 2016 |
lanicky:no wonder most of dem r just fat. |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by lanicky(f): 1:26pm On Mar 10, 2016 |
donbenedict: My mum isn't 1 Like |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by donbenedict(m): 1:27pm On Mar 10, 2016 |
lanicky:lol mk I see |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by Swissheart(f): 2:01pm On Mar 10, 2016 |
Niaja mum will be like 'collect it, collect it nau.... I didn't tell her not to collect it oh' .... when visitors want to give you money. After the visitor leaves, she'll be like 'so you collected it abi olojukokoro. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by Meeloreh(f): 2:43pm On Mar 10, 2016 |
When you av bf: no wonder, bcus u av a bf ; you av grown wings, u are disrespecting me When u don't av bf: hmmn, aw far with that other brother. Let's goan see the pastor . Hope it's not ur pride 4 Likes |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by lanicky(f): 3:57pm On Mar 10, 2016 |
Swissheart: Hehe |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by daveP(m): 8:23pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
that promising not to beat you, but will actually do in a corner.... The tele own, mehn. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by joseph1832(m): 8:01pm On Apr 17, 2016 |
As usual, the romance section faithful have now started gracing the Family section with their blunt and arrant penchant for generalizing and always failing to know what is, and what not!. 5 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by Nobody: 8:23pm On Apr 17, 2016 |
joseph1832:Lolz |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by joseph1832(m): 8:31pm On Apr 17, 2016 |
cassieblake:Might I ask you what you find funny? |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by Nobody: 8:34pm On Apr 17, 2016 |
joseph1832:Your comment sir |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by joseph1832(m): 8:35pm On Apr 17, 2016 |
cassieblake:What is funny about it? |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by Nobody: 8:37pm On Apr 17, 2016 |
joseph1832:forget it |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by joseph1832(m): 8:42pm On Apr 17, 2016 |
cassieblake: |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by Aminat508(f): 9:09pm On Apr 17, 2016 |
joseph1832:lmao jossy |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by joseph1832(m): 9:23pm On Apr 17, 2016 |
Aminat508:Wetin I do? |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by Aminat508(f): 9:24pm On Apr 17, 2016 |
joseph1832:your comment |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by joseph1832(m): 9:27pm On Apr 17, 2016 |
Aminat508:What's wrong with it? |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by MrCork: 1:34am On Apr 20, 2016 |
lanicky: ^^^^^YeeeeeeeeeeePaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...see Nyansh...am in love!!!! 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by Omotayor123(f): 3:42pm On Apr 20, 2016 |
1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by lanicky(f): 5:08pm On Apr 20, 2016 |
MrCork: Lol. |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by isacolukay(m): 11:41pm On Apr 23, 2016 |
MrCork: But she is not light skinned! No offeinse. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by MrCork: 1:50pm On Apr 25, 2016 |
lanicky: WARNING...firstEVA is bribing me not to vote for u...she said she has Bigger & better Nyansh..I have asked her to show me & prooooof it otherwise...its LANICKY ALL THE WAY....she has 24hrs to respond!! 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by Nobody: 3:36pm On Apr 25, 2016 |
MrCork:I told you mine is flat. |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by MrCork: 4:20pm On Apr 25, 2016 |
firstEVA: ...i no yor nyansh MUST be big,,i dont truss undercover chicks like u who pretend to hav small Bazuuuuka!! |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by MrCork: 4:31pm On Apr 25, 2016 |
firstEVA: ..ok show me a 2 pictures of yor nyansh form 6 angle...let me check! |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by lanicky(f): 10:27am On Apr 26, 2016 |
MrCork: Sent you a pm |
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by Nobody: 11:34am On Apr 26, 2016 |
MrCork:see one
|
Re: Characteristics of a Typical Nigerian Mother. (lol) by Nobody: 11:34am On Apr 26, 2016 |
MrCork:mimmzy's yansh is bigger than lanikky's yansh |
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