a guy caught one of his friend sitting while urinating. -but what is this,you know very well that we men stand while urinating, what happened to you? - look, last monday i went out with a benin girl to a motel, 1.80, large boobs and a wonderful butt,but couldn´t have an erection at all. on tuesday i went out with a calabar girl 19yrs, sweet,babyface, but also couldn't have an erection. on wednesday i went out with a sweet slender white chick i still couldn't have any erection, on thursday i was with my wonderful sugar mummy but still couldn´t have any erection!! his angry friend then asked him: it's ok, that's life for you, but why are you sitting while urinating - ein? after all these you could still think that i'd give this son of a b*tch a helping hand !!

A guy stole fowl,escaped,got onto a bus and hid the stolen fowl in his trousers so that no one could see. he sat next to a nun.unfortunately the fowl begins to make some movement, so, he decided to open his fly(zip) so that it could breathe a little. the guy forgot and slept off,therefore the fowl puts its head out of his fly. the nun on seeing this tried to inform the guy.
- wake up sir! wake up! i don't understand this very well, but it seems that one of your eggs got broken!

a guy approached another guy and asked:
did you see any guard around?
the other guy answered:
-no
-good then pass me your wallet!

an old man asked a reverend:
father, is it a sin to have sex at 90 yrs of age?
-no my son, it's a miracle!!

an old man met a beautiful chick on the beach and said to her:
-pls. can you allow me to rub your breasts for a while?
- go away you old flirt she responded!
-the old man said,i'd give you 500naira.what do you think?
-the angry lady said,' do you think that i'm a prostitute?' go away else i'd call the police now!
-the old man then replied,i'd give you 10000 naira. she thought for a while and agreed,afterall he is old and can't harm me she said to herself.
the old guy began to massage seriously for about 5mins and started screaming:
oh my god! oh my god! oh my god! the lady who was worried about him asked:
oh my god what old man? and the old guy replied
oh my god, where am i going to find 10000 naira?

a robbery operation in one of the largest organization in nigeria involving a yoruba man, igbo man and an international influence from portugal failed and thereby led to their capture.
-the judge said to them-you all will be kept for 30 years in different cells without access to anything but you have a right to make a wish! so tell me quickly what you all want,

1.yoruba man- i want a full library in my cell,it's impossible for me to live without books,

2.igbo man- nna men, i need one stupidly sexy chick in my cell, i can't live without woman o!

3.portuguese- i want a truck full of cigarettes, i can't live without smoking.

the judge atended to their wishes and the lock of the cells were seriously fasteened together and, 30yrs later, the police went to set them free. when they opened the yoruba man's cell,they saw him seriously focused and surrounded by teses and mathematical formulas. the second one was the igbo man's. he was very relaxed, laying on the floor, surrounded by children and the woman was already pregnant again.
and when they opened the last cell, the found the cigarettes still closed and the portuguese with a cigarette in his hand, screaming
-match box! match box! for GOD'S sake, anybody is got a match box!!

there was a contract to be given for a bridge contruction, and the only three candidates were an american, a german and a nigerian.
the coordinator of the job interviewed first the german to know how much he would charge and what would be the advantages.
the german would charge 1 million dollars, and would use a first class material to produce a simple bridge
The american was interviewed, and charged 2 million dollars for the bridge, with materials from the latest generation, he'd make a very modern high bridge.
then the nigerian- he asked for 3 million dollars for the job, the coordinator asked him
-your price is the highest, so, what are the advantages?
-none he answered
-then why is it high
-let us do it this way, of the 3 million, one for you, one for me and we pay 1 million to the german for the construction.
- business closed

a guy got into a barber's shop in lagos, taking along with him a little boy by the hand.the man asked the barber to cut his hair. after the cutting he immediately asked barber to start cutting the little boy's while he goes to buy a newspaper around the corner. he did the job and was waiting for the man to return. after 2hrs, the barber said to the boy: i think your father got lost!! it's already 2hrs now since he went out, the little boy replied, 'he isn't my father, i was on the streets when he stopped me and asked: would you like to have a hair cut for free?

Lovely especially the nun but the rest got me crackiing pls keeps it coming

keep it up nice ones

u cool.

Not that cool.

Not that bad!

Extremely bad.

Ha ha mama gee,at all at all lets encourage him,

Hydrochloric acid well dat keep it up.

taxi driver