davidylan:

once a man is married, his allegiance must be to his wife first. Family comes a distant second.

davidylan:

once a man is married, his allegiance must be to his wife first. Family comes a distant second.

rasputinn:

:oSchweeeeeeeppes??,I trip o,which levels na bros??

davidylan:

once a man is married, his allegiance must be to his wife first. Family comes a distant second.

rasputinn:

And how many metres or kilometres are we looking at here?

last2laugh:

You should respect, value and love yourself enough not to take that nonsense from your husband. It is not okay for him to abuse you, verbally or physically. You should try talking to your husband, if that doesn´t work then you need to get a divorce.

But if he has beaten you before, he will beat you again. Unless a miracle happens,

chelsea4su:

is your own fate accept it.just pray for him

akigbemaru:

Ha ha ha, long distance indeed! If you don't grab your man another girl will take him. If you think because you are married to him he can't talk to his family again you are wrong.
A lot of ladies out there always think that once they get married nobody has the right to command their husband besides them.
I may put your husband on the same analogy with me. When I wanted to travel; I barely saw anybody to help other than my mum and my sisters. If you are they type of girl who doesn't know how I grew up and just want me to tell my family to hit the door just because of her, I ain't stupid. If you love me you have got to love my family too.

shesi:

I'm with you Akigbemaru

some women, infact, most women, just love love love to play the victim when it comes to domestic problems.

all of you busy here calling the husband an idiot, have you heard what he has to say? the OP could very well be playing things up. If he hit her in any way, then that's wrong. obviously. but i dont believe that for one minute. it's sounds to me she's angry and just adding things up to make the cast herself as the victim and make the guy look bad.

look its only women who get married and think their marriage life is their everything and all else comes second. Us men dont think like that. This guy probably goes to visit his mum every weekend and that is what she is complaining about o?

in my experience 90% of the stories women have to tell about their mother in laws are lies. from the stories my mother used to tell about my father's mother to the stories i hear women telling today. they are all rubbish.

my cousin's wife was complaining because his mom calls him every week to find out how he is. the wife said that's too much and that it is intefering. when she told me and i said i dont see any big deal, i'm sure she will be telling her friends how her husband's family are ganging up against her to make her marriage a living hell.

topup:

Hi,

You're not alone, the exact same thing happened to someone that is very close to me, it all depends on whether the guy changes, luckily for us he changed - but probably by force, but before he changed, she had to create some physical distance.

A cruel man who controls everything i.e. money, life, when you get pregnant can abuse these. He knows you can't fend off for yourself, that you have to ask or beg before you can get any money, and it's like all your decisions are in your hands. Another man may nurture his wife and protect her, and encourage her to achieve her goals, maybe even to start her own career.

Your husband has got you in such a bad position because he probably thinks that you will never be able to leave, his mum and sister probably give him bad advice and they probably encourage him to beat you to 'keep you in line'.

Well, it was about 20 years after everything started that the mother-in-law apologised. Can you picture the gravity of a 80+ year old woman (husband's mother) and her 40+ year old daughters on their knees begging for forgiveness to the woman? Miracles happen. People change, but you can't rely on them, you have to use wisdom, this could be a very dangerous environment for your children.

What are your options?