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How To End A Marriage In Nigeria - Family - Nairaland

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How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by aonom(m): 4:52pm On Aug 08, 2009
Hello Naira Landers,

I was just curious to know exactly how a man and woman who have gone through the two stages of marriage in Nigeria, Traditional and Church. But would like to mutually end the marriage without any issues coming up, such as custody of the children or child as the case maybe. I was having a discussion with a friend of mine and we were both curious to know exactly how this might end up in this present day and age in the Nigerian context. Also we would like to know who would gain the custody of their issue (child or children) especially if they are both financially stable. Please note that we are both not married yet and do not have any intension to divorce when we eventually do, IJN.

Kindly throw more light on this issue.

Thanks.
Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by SisiJinx: 5:05pm On Aug 08, 2009
DIVORCE
The husband throws the wife's pots and pans outta the house. . . 3 times and there's ya divorce.

CHILD CUSTODY
The children stay with the father coz. . . well coz he IS there father. (Duh!!)

Hope that helped. grin grin

Okay, just playin' with ya. . .there are divorce courts and each culture has it it's own ways of doing things. For instance the Hausas require the wife to file formal divorce papers. If it's not contested, she is granted one by the courts.

The husband on the other hand does not have to go through that, all he has to do is send the wife back to her parent's house with a formal declaration that he wants a divorce. This has to be done 3 times for it to stick. More often than not, the children stay with the Daddy coz it's he is financially responsible for 'em.

This is what is REQUIRED but of course the process varies by case.

1 Like

Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by aonom(m): 5:26pm On Aug 08, 2009
@Sisi Jinx, Thanks. That's a very nice one there. Any more suggestions,,
Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by mamagee6(f): 6:40pm On Aug 08, 2009
LMAO at sisi Jinx. grin
Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by whiteroses(f): 2:47pm On Aug 15, 2009
i think half of nigerian already divorced their partner unknowingly, you'd see couple especially aged 47 and over that always argue and dont even sleep in the same bedroom but 4 naija divorce is usually not an option cos of society and the kids
Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by adaku123(f): 5:11pm On Aug 16, 2009
@ SISI

True talk

@POSTER
All a man has to do in igbo land is to return the bride and if the parents agree they give him back his bride price!!! Dats just it!! Divorce Finalized grin grin

If the woman wants a divorce she normally goes back to her parents!! Sometimes she even runs away with her children to another town!!!LOL

But these days the couples usually just get seperated and live in different houses, in the same or different towns depending on if they have kids

Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by mimivi: 5:43pm On Aug 16, 2009
Salut.
Hw sunt de tine.
Sunt Sonia din Madagascar.
Vreau sa am o relatie buna cu tine.
Sunt 24 de ani. Niciodata casatorit înainte.
Sunt serios si vreau sa-mi fi grave spirit.
Sper sa citesc in curand. Meu de mail este sonia_ndaw@yahoo.fr
Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by GEW: 6:36pm On Aug 16, 2009
Sisi Jinx:

DIVORCE
The husband throws the wife's pots and pans outta the house. . . 3 times and there's ya divorce.

CHILD CUSTODY
The children stay with the father coz. . . well coz he IS there father. (Duh!!)

Hope that helped. grin grin

Okay, just playin' with ya. . .there are divorce courts and each culture has it it's own ways of doing things. For instance the Hausas require the wife to file formal divorce papers. If it's not contested, she is granted one by the courts.

The husband on the other hand does not have to go through that, all he has to do is send the wife back to her parent's house with a formal declaration that he wants a divorce. This has to be done 3 times for it to stick. More often than not, the children stay with the Daddy coz it's he is financially responsible for 'em.

This is what is REQUIRED but of course the process varies by case.

you God help you
Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by Theblessed(f): 6:44pm On Aug 16, 2009
aonom:

Hello Naira Landers,

I was just curious to know exactly how a man and woman who have gone through the two  stages of marriage in Nigeria, Traditional and Church. But would like to mutually end the marriage without any issues coming up, such as custody of the children or child as the case maybe. I was having a discussion with a friend of mine and we were both curious to know exactly how this might end up in this present day and age in the Nigerian context. Also we would like to know who would gain the custody of their issue (child or children) especially if they are both financially stable. Please note that we are both not married yet and do not have any intension to divorce when we eventually do, IJN.

Kindly throw more light on this issue.

Thanks.
Hi Baby

Nice you asked and people will be too happy to enlighten you in this area.  There are 4 types of marriages that are recognized in Nigerian Constitution.  Church wedding, Moslem or Islamic wedding, Registry Office wedding or the so called Court wedding and the Traditional local marriage - all of these are legally recognized and can be legally enforced in Nigerian courts.  Just as many have commented on here on how to end these kind of marriages especially the traditional one, mainly the local Nigerian way of doing it.  However, enlightened people would prefer to go through it formally through the courts system but whether justice would be truely secured is another thing  as we have none in Nigerian legal system.    

Yes, even the traditional marriages can also be dissolved through the courts but because, most Nigerians do not know their rights, and have no resource to fight their cases through the court system, they end up doing it the local way which is far, far and far too unfair in many ways.  For example, how could it be fair for a man to send back his wife of many years and equally has the gut to ask for the return of his bride price on her when she has not only given him 12 to 100 children but also, helped built the wealth in the family?  How could this be fair  Now, you can see, a tip of the iceberg of INJUSTICES in our culture.  It is not FAIR!!!  For it to be fair, Nigerian women should be financially compensated well when such situation arises so that they can be able to take care of themselves for the rest of their lives since their chances of finding another partner in that culture can be very, very, very slim as such women are considered by our society as SECOND HANDED ARTICLES of which, no decent Nigerian man would want to be associated with.  They can only do so if, she has TRILLIONS OF NAIRA then most men would swallow the bitter pill and take her on.  I challenge Nigerian men to tell me otherwise because, that's Nigerian way.  Also, Nigerian men are not known for getting involved or marrying a girl who had a baby out of wedlock because society considers her second hand and a spoilt article no one would want.  Afterall, who made these girls pregnant in the first place?  Is not Nigerian men?  Now, you can see their DOUBLE STANDARD! That's why I dislike our culture.  However, I am glad many are beginning to travel the world and seeing the light thus, having a point of comparison as those entrenched attitudes of theirs are now beginning to change however, the up take in this department is quite small.  Again, if the girls have money or potentials their chances of finding a husbands could be bright otherwise, they are going no where as they are considered SELL-BY-DATE and many do end up in prostitution as they can not help themselves.  In that situation, unless they have money then, they might find a husband as MONEY TALKS IN NIGERIA and everyone knows that, don't they

Finally, may I draw your attention to the highlighted area in your post.  You see, no one goes into marriage vouching and planning for divorce.  Divorce can happen in any situation if the couple involved wants it.  Things might trigger it especially, where there is lack of commitment, lack of communication, lack of respect and tolerance from those involved then, if they don't change their ways, expect it to happen in most cases.  So, if I were you, I wouldn't make that claim because as a young woman you may have mental image of how perfect your marriage is going to be and thus, work hard towards this ideal but remember you are TWO in it -  your husband/partner might not have the same ideal as you and that's where it all can go wrong and your LITMUS PAPER would then be TESTED for you. 

I suggest you go into marriage with open mind and pray that God give you a God fearing husband that would love and respect you and likewise you.  That's all!! Good luck!

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Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by Nobody: 6:49pm On Aug 16, 2009
If d couple got married under d act or 'court marriage' as we term it here. The marriage can only get dissolved if one or more of d conditions laid down in S.15(2) of d marriage act. It includes things lyk adultery, desertion, presumption of death, lack of consummation, irretrievable break dwn of marriage etc. Usually one of d couple files 4 divorce in a court of law. B4 the court grants divorce however, there's a window period given 2 d couple, incase they fall in love again. Afta dt, d divorce is final!
As for custody, dependin on d age of d child. A small baby will be given 2 d mother, though most times its joint custody. I hope dt helps,
Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by remoranger(m): 7:24pm On Aug 16, 2009
just throw her things out
Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by tine(f): 7:58pm On Aug 16, 2009
As someone says there are laws to take care of such eventualities but most people are ignorant of that.
I know of some women that went to court and were not only given custody but the husband's were made to pay child support.

but such cases are rare as Nigerian women either don't like the idea of going to court, or don't know they can.
Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by illusion2: 9:45pm On Aug 16, 2009
Marriage ends when the man says so ! grin grin grin

Just joking, Theblessed has said it all. the court for such in naija is the magistrate court.
Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by damola1: 12:58am On Aug 17, 2009
Don't get married in no court.

Just do the trad. and Church/mosque wedding, thats all,

No pressure on anyone, just leave the house for her or throw her things out like some have suggest or she does the same to ya,


Court could be against you, Nigeria is changing very fast,

1 Like

Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by na2day2(m): 4:31am On Aug 17, 2009
Sisi Jinx:

DIVORCE
The husband throws the wife's pots and pans outta the house. . . 3 times and there's ya divorce.

CHILD CUSTODY
The children stay with the father coz. . . well coz he IS there father. (Duh!!)

Hope that helped. grin grin

Okay, just playin' with ya. . .there are divorce courts and each culture has it it's own ways of doing things. For instance the Hausas require the wife to file formal divorce papers. If it's not contested, she is granted one by the courts.

The husband on the other hand does not have to go through that, all he has to do is send the wife back to her parent's house with a formal declaration that he wants a divorce. This has to be done 3 times for it to stick. More often than not, the children stay with the Daddy coz it's he is financially responsible for 'em.

This is what is REQUIRED but of course the process varies by case.


e don tey wey i know say u dey craze grin grin grin
Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by davidif: 5:11am On Aug 17, 2009
CHILD CUSTODY
The children stay with the father coz. . . well coz he IS there father. (Duh!!)

ha ha ha that is sooooooooooooo true.
Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by biola44: 8:29am On Aug 17, 2009
:d ;d
Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by FKseun(m): 10:50am On Aug 17, 2009
Like they say TALK IS CHEAP! I would like to know how many of the contributors to this thread are married. Nobody prays for the termination of a marital union. All sorts of shits happen when/if it does.
Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by yuppydon(m): 11:31am On Aug 17, 2009
The best way to end a marriage from my view is to setup the your wife with another man, and claim infidelity in court and thats settles that.
For the kids brainwash your kids that there mum is a witch and would kill all of them with time, make them believe the lie and they would follow u wherever u go after the divorce.

Remember you would be judged in the last day by the almighty. cry cry cry

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Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by Nezan(m): 1:52pm On Aug 17, 2009
Divorce is sin (haram) before the Christian God.
Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by olaide3(f): 2:42pm On Aug 17, 2009
Divorce is the answer period!!!
Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by sesantoke(m): 5:43pm On Aug 17, 2009
Please dont even think of ending it.
Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by Sagamite(m): 7:18pm On Aug 17, 2009
Theblessed:


It is not FAIR!!!  For it to be fair, Nigerian women should be financially compensated well when such situation arises so that they can be able to take care of themselves for the rest of their lives since their chances of finding another partner in that culture can be very, very, very slim as such women are considered by our society as SECOND HANDED ARTICLES of which, no decent Nigerian man would want to be associated with.

I don't like that word "financially compensated". For it to be fair, there should be a way for them to get, after the divorce, a proportion of the wealth which they can be said to have reasonably contributed to.

No man, should be compensating anyone for anything except he has injured her. The rest of her life is hers and the law should not be putting the challenges on any man.

No doubt, I can imagine that a lot of women are shafted in divorce proceedings in Nigeria and I will like to see that change soonest, but I would hate to see us copying the shite they have for divorce laws in the West.

Theblessed:


They can only do so if, she has TRILLIONS OF NAIRA then most men would swallow the bitter pill and take her on.  I challenge Nigerian men to tell me otherwise because, that's Nigerian way.  Also, Nigerian men are not known for getting involved or marrying a girl who had a baby out of wedlock because society considers her second hand and a spoilt article no one would want.  Afterall, who made these girls pregnant in the first place?  Is not Nigerian men?  Now, you can see their DOUBLE STANDARD! That's why I dislike our culture.


When a woman/girl gets pregnant, it is a Nigerian man, not Nigerian men, that got her pregnant. So how her life progresses, and her available variety choice of men, in the future is between them and no one should be blamed for not wanting to get involved.

It is not double standard.

1 Like

Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by mamagee6(f): 7:37pm On Aug 17, 2009
Divorce, simple.
Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by N101: 12:07am On Aug 18, 2009
Nezan:

Divorce is sin (haram) before the Christian God.

This is true but, unlike in Islam, everyone getting married in a church isn't necessarily Christian even if they fall into that vague category of "God fearing". Some churches are very strict about who they marry and others are not.

@ Sagamite

I think I understand the point that theblessed was trying to make.  A woman may have invested much into a marriage and, by not knowing her rights, leaves with little.  In those cases she should be compensated.

As for a woman impregnated by a Nigerian man I'd like to think it was a typo.  However I understand his point; I could cite examples of Nigerian men who have a child/children, never married the mother of their child(ren), but wouldn't marry a woman with a child/children for another man.  Therein lies the double standard.
Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by Sagamite(m): 12:21am On Aug 18, 2009
N101:

@ Sagamite

I think I understand the point that theblessed was trying to make.  A woman may have invested much into a marriage and, by not knowing her rights, leaves with little.  In those cases she should be compensated.

I would rather see the word "financial entitlements allocation/reinstatement" than "financial compensation".  grin grin grin

There should be laws that will ensure women leave with what they have contributed/invested and I can understand the reality of the unfairness that exists in underdeveloped countries.

N101:

As for a woman impregnated by a Nigerian man I'd like to think it was a typo.  However I understand his point; I could cite examples of Nigerian men who have a child/children, never married the mother of their child(ren), but wouldn't marry a woman with a child/children for another man.  Therein lies the double standard.

In that case: her bad choice, her business. Society does not have to account for that.  wink
Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by Phunx: 1:10pm On Aug 18, 2009
Firstly Divorce is NOT An OPTION whether under CHURCH or TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE as Jesus is Lord over Nigerians and what He says goes, We say Yes Sir to Him. cheesy
Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by Nobody: 3:36pm On Aug 18, 2009
To know more about marriage see www.gethimbacktips..com
Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by Fhemmmy: 3:38pm On Aug 18, 2009
Phunx:

Firstly Divorce is NOT An OPTION whether under CHURCH or TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE as Jesus is Lord over Nigerians and what He says goes, We say Yes Sir to Him. cheesy

That isn't what the Bible said.
If there is Adultery involved, u can divorce.
If the man/woman is suffering the other with sex, u can divorce

1 Like

Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by GEW: 3:42pm On Aug 18, 2009
Fhemmmy:

That isn't what the Bible said.
If there is Adultery involved, u can divorce.
If the man/woman is suffering the other with sex, u can divorce
how can u divorce when bible talk more on forgiveness than divorce. yesterday you were throwing bible like confettis now it is divorce. how old are u and are u married at all?
Re: How To End A Marriage In Nigeria by Fhemmmy: 3:46pm On Aug 18, 2009
GEW:

how can u divorce when bible talk more on forgiveness than divorce. yesterday you were throwing bible like confettis now it is divorce. how old are u and are u married at all?

Show me where it said in the Bible, that u should not divorce.
My age is not what is in question.
Am i married? what has that gotta to do with the chat?

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