Dear nairalanders pleas advice. i have this young and beautiful hausa friend who has been married for fifteen years now and god blessed the marriage with four kids. Two years ago her husband decided to take a second wife in acordance with islam. he asked for her concent and even went to her parent to promise he was not going 2 stop loving her, he even went to the new wife's parent and asked them to warn their daughter to respect his first wife when he marries her. After the marriage he changed completely. he doesnt eat her food, he doesnt want to see her and her kids, he dosent want to talk to her and even when he does it is to insult her. he has given the new wife liberty to talk and insult her at will. My once beautiful friend is now a shadow of herself, she was sick nd i asked her to see a doctor, the doctor confirmed she is hypertensive nd prescribed some medication, the husband refused to buy them or give her money, and my friend doesnt work. now she is confused should she go and leave her kids behind cos he made it clear she cant leave with them or should she stay for the kids with hope things will get better and risk dying of hypertention? please help this woman save her marriage.

You can't advice in some situations. You friend as to discover for herself what will be best.

First in polygamous situation its always good for the women to have jobs. Else they'll end up so bleeped up let say the man dies young etc or shit like sickness come up and the man is not capable financially etc. FIRST SHE SHOULD get a JOB and get busy. Do stuffs and get her minds of the situation. Go out with friends, be more active in the lives of her kids. And she should have in the back of her mind that she's semi-single and enjoy life that way :p

I grew up in a polygamous home and it wasn't so bad. It was fun to have 10 kids to play with. Though we had two homes but we could go and stay in any of the house. Though I think her husband is not capable and can't handle the shit. My dad did his with swag

Tnx pple. Shev already startd a smal biznes her father organisd 4 her. Her huby is jst a weakly nd a coward.

please take care of your health first before thinking of how save your marriage.Your marriage will be recovered by love an prayer. Since you are a muslim, your mind accomodate this second wife issue.
Please check-out for helpful topics on www.savingmymarriageblog.com

Tell your friend to
1. Get a job.
2. Change her wardrobe
3. Behind herself up.
4. Have friends that will treat her nice and good.
Be happy and love herself, same house cant contain 2 women without one being the doormat.

'He who runs from a battle lives to fight another war'! I think your friend should leave her kids behind and go take care of herself at her parents place or where ever - health is wealth! Am sure the husband will look after the kids. It's only when one is strong that one can fight. She can later return to her husband's house if she so desire or go back for her kids.

She should have known the culture of the hausa man before marrying him.