Dear nairalanders pleas advice. i have this young and beautiful hausa friend who has been married for fifteen years now and god blessed the marriage with four kids. Two years ago her husband decided to take a second wife in acordance with islam. he asked for her concent and even went to her parent to promise he was not going 2 stop loving her, he even went to the new wife's parent and asked them to warn their daughter to respect his first wife when he marries her. After the marriage he changed completely. he doesnt eat her food, he doesnt want to see her and her kids, he dosent want to talk to her and even when he does it is to insult her. he has given the new wife liberty to talk and insult her at will. My once beautiful friend is now a shadow of herself, she was sick nd i asked her to see a doctor, the doctor confirmed she is hypertensive nd prescribed some medication, the husband refused to buy them or give her money, and my friend doesnt work. now she is confused should she go and leave her kids behind cos he made it clear she cant leave with them or should she stay for the kids with hope things will get better and risk dying of hypertention? please help this woman save her marriage.

how about her getting a job so as to pay for her High BP drugs and take care of herself first before dealing with her so called husband? in other words she needs to have a means of income/savings in order for her to decide/plan whether to stay or leave since she wasnt working before and dependent on the so called husband.

question though: Is her so called husband beating her?

Why don't yo goto www.makeahappyfamily..com

Why don't yo goto www.makeahappyfamily..com

Tell you friend to get a JOB ! ! !

wow men! anyway she is a muslim so i dont know wat to say, first i dont think she shld live . let her stay becos her kids will pass thru more hell, let her stay and get a job and only hope things will get better and pray too. there is nothin impossible.

Thanx sissy, her husband doesnt beat her, he refused to allow her work even when her father invited him for a talk about it he didnt go. now her uncle gave her some money to start a business.

She shouldnt die in silence.

Tell her to open up to her family members, they should know a way out.

If she knows she cant cope she should leave and start her life over again, She shouldnt die because she wants to keep da marriage.

hausa, islam and polygamy? bed fellows

Let her go to www.gethimbacktips..com and get more info on handling marriage

She needed to get a job.
Remind the man that he promised to take care of her even with second wife.
tell the new wife that soon, the 3rd wife will come in and her faith will be same as the 1st wife is going thru right now

Mommi:

Tell yourself your friend to get a life.

hahahahaha
It is her friend

let her stay for d sake of those children pls.

ifyalways:

Tell you friend to get a JOB ! ! !

im thinking this woman might not be very educated, so her choices are very few. besides she didnt learn from the women in her environment. i served in the north, and God!! when men take on a new wife the others are on thier own. I think its now a matter of saving her life not her marriage. up there its a husbands world. if she new that she would have been better prepared for this. Most of you ladies commenting are very blessed cos you dont have to put up with this "legalized" injustice. i really pitty those women in the north. i think your friend should just pray her health stabilizes and that her children are ok. anything besides that will be a miracle.

I was born muslim and i was married to a muslim man before. He started to hint to me about taking on another wife that he needed a black muslim woman. It made my skin crawl. I decided to go ahead with the talaq divorce. i was divorced in ramadan when i was pregnant. I just didnt want a polygamous arrangement and that was that. i may not be the most sensible person in the world but i honestly do not think a man can love all the women equally. It was different in the times of the battle of Ahud when the prophet pbuh took on wives as a matter of charity, one of them being much older that him even. I think polygamy should only be allowed if there is a war or something and families of women and children were left starving. A man must be able to do justice amongst all of his wives.

Also in Islam the husband must have ghairah (jealousy) for his wife/wives or he will not see the paradise al jannah.

Not a religious person anymore and do no practice any religion. But this is my opinion on it. she must tell her husband that he must have ghairah for her.

If this woman has been married for 15 years and probably never worked then what options for a job does she have in Nigeria. She might have to convince her husband to give her a lump sum amount to start a business or if he really does not want her there and she feels she can deal with it then she can ask him to buy her a house so she can leave for him and his new wife. If she wants to be there for her kids she needs to remove herself from the stressful situation or find a way to live with them and manage her stress