Busy parents often need a hand in running the household and caring for the children and sometimes the answer is to get a nanny. But letting a younger woman into your home can bring about unexpected complications if she draws a bit too much attention from your spouse! True stories about husbands falling for the nanny abound, from Arnold Schwarzenegger and Ethan Hawke dallying with the nanny to many a tale of the average family being faced with the same issue. The best solution to this problem is to prevent it from happening in the first place. Here are some things to consider.


1
Be honest with yourself about your level of trust in your husband. If you're truly concerned that he might succumb to weakness in the presence of an admiring, bright-eyed nanny, don't dismiss your hesitation. The worst thing you can do is pretend to trust him completely when you don't.

If there is any marital conflict or unresolved issue going on in your relationship, it's wise to avoid getting a nanny until both of you are on more solid ground again.
Think carefully about your husband's personality. A household that can afford a nanny generally means that the husband is earning good money. And if that is the case, it's possible that your husband is someone who is used to giving orders and getting what he wants. Does he use that kind of charisma and power with thoughtfulness for others or is he someone whose appetites are given free rein and sometimes that results in being selfish and unmindful about how getting what he wants might hurt another? Only you know your husband well enough to answer this; sure, it's a balance between trust in your primary relationship but it's also about being honest about his personality and not throwing temptation in his path.
Think about your own personality and how your husband sees you. Are you strong, assertive and clear about your role as a mother, career woman and wife? Does your husband show you all due respect? If you are certain that your husband respects you and would never do anything to hurt you, then you have less reason to worry about having a nanny in the household because you have made your boundaries and expectations absolutely clear.

2
Have an honest heart-to-heart with your husband about your worries involved in bringing an attractive nanny into your personal home life. Be careful not to sound like you're accusing him of a crime he hasn't committed. The way you approach the topic can make the difference between shaking the foundation of your relationship, and strengthening it. Practice nonviolent communication.

Have you ever had a discussion or aired your feelings about how you feel about infidelity? If he knows you're someone who won't tolerate any straying and will walk out on him if he cheated, then he'll be unlikely to ever risk losing you. Don't assume that he already knows this; many a cheating man assumed that their spouse would be forgiving or understanding!
It helps a lot to emphasize that there's nothing wrong with being tempted, it's acting on such temptation that's the danger. Admitting that you'd be tempted, too, if there was a young, handsome and flirtatious man floating around the house will go a long way to having an honest conversation about what may happen in a moment of weakness.
Remind your husband that you want to be the object of his attention! Affirming that you welcome and value his affection (and meaning it) will go a long way.

3
Decide together whether the nanny option is your best option by considering the alternatives. Before you even get a nanny, sit down with your husband and go through all the possibilities for child care and household management. Some other options include:

Day care, child care center, in-home care at a registered carer's premises, etc.
Juggling care between the two of you, with the help of a babysitter for occasional evening care or the odd afternoon. Supplement this with a cleaner, a gardener and even a student cook to help out with meal preparation, all people whose presence is only needed intermittently rather than daily.
Taking a sabbatical, break or semi-retirement from work until the children are older. Sure, there will be an income dip but the rewards from this can be priceless if one parent is willing.
Convincing one of your bosses to let you work from home.
Asking the children's grandparent(s) if they can care for them for a while. Not every baby boomer parent wants to take on a full-time care role for the grand kids and not every family wants their parents in the home daily. However, if this is an option that works both ways, it's ideal.

4
If you do hire a nanny, select with care. While it's important to get along with your nanny, she is not your friend. She is an employee. Don't be lured into a false sense of security by her friendly ways. Look for good references, unbroken attendance at other people's places as a nanny and exemplary ability with children. Preferably, look for specific nanny or child care training, especially for newly started nannies. Her ability to care for children in a fun, responsible and caring way all she is in your home for, not to sit about chatting with you or anyone else.

If you see provocative or sexy pictures accompanying the nanny advertisement in an online or printed advertisement, click or flick to the next nanny. Such a nanny hasn't got the professionalism needed to sell her services as a trustworthy nanny and has failed to target her sales pitch to the women who hire, so she doesn't deserve a second thought.
For your own sake, strive to keep the relationship with a nanny professional. There may come a time where you have to tell her she isn't doing her job well enough and this is so much harder if you've taken her into your confidences too much as a "friend".
Be especially careful of new, young nannies without training. They can be vulnerable to wanting to "be taken care of" and the family environment they witness around them might cause them to imagine that this is something they want for themselves, leading to all sorts of silly but real attempts at getting it for themselves.
Check references by calling. Don't go by her word alone and don't accept written references. Ask the referees clear questions about her propriety, attitude and household behavior. Unfortunately, if something untoward has happened in the past, her former employer may be too ashamed to say anything but if you're careful and kind, they might speak up about something if they think you need to know. On the whole though, be prepared to take the referee at their word; if you speak to more than one referee, you should get a good feel for the nanny's past behavior and be reassured by what you're told.

5
Talk to the nanny about boundaries and expectations. Tell her that you welcome her into the household with trust and respect for her childcare qualification. Yet, make it clear that she will be dismissed immediately if you feel that this respect and trust has been breached in any way.

Inform her that she must come to you for all questions and changes in routine. This will prevent her from having "two masters", making her life easier and also removes one major reason for spending time with your husband.

6
Have other people drop into the household intermittently and unexpectedly. It is difficult to carry on a clandestine affair if the household is constantly subject to the presence of others doing their tasks. A regular cleaner, a children's tutor in music, a neighbor dropping off supplies, a cook preparing the week's meals, etc. are all possible people you could hire or ask to drop by at different times of the week. Have the nanny be responsible for ensuring these people are let in and have what they need to complete their tasks, as this will mean that she has a professional responsibility to attend to.
7
Take note of any strange happenings in the household. If your husband suddenly starts coming home earlier or is about when he didn't used to be, and you find him talking to the nanny a lot, be alert. Rather than waiting too long, raise your concerns with him early on. Avoid accusing him of anything initially - couch it in terms of being concerned that he is taking up the nanny's time and possibly giving her mixed messages about the childcare routine you've already cleared with her. It's a delicate subject that requires balancing your trust with your suspicions but it's your relationship and family at stake, so don't be too shy to raise concerns.

Finally: Professional nannies won't allow the whole seduction routine to even happen. On the whole, good nannies are professionals, trained to do a job and are not there to break up families. Have faith that most nannies won't be attempting to lure away your husband.
Consider getting different nannies doing different shifts. A morning nanny and an afternoon nanny or a weekday and weeknight nanny might work for you and be enough of a change in dynamics to keep everything very professional. However, you'll need to think about how this impacts your children, as it's potentially very disruptive, although probably no more so than day care centers.
Hire a nanny you know your husband could never be attracted to, such as a woman in her sixties if your husband is in his thirties

http://www.wikihow.com/Hire-a-Nanny-Who-Won't-Hit-On-Your-Spouse

How about you write an article on how meat loving folks can raise a Goat without ever eating it.