SICK DAYS- We will no longer accept doctor's note as a proof of sickness. If you're able to walk to the hospital, you should be able to drive to work. SURGERY- Opestions are now banned. As long as you're an employee of this organisation, you need all your organs. You should not consider having anything removed. We assumed we hired you intact. To have anything removed constitutes a breach of agreement. HOLIDAYS- Each employee will get 104 holidays annually. These will be called saturdays and sundays. BEREAVEMENT LEAVE- This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends and relatives. In rare cases where your involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled for for late afternoon. We will be glad to let you work thru out your lunch hour and subsequently allow you to leave one hour early, provided you have completed your day's task. ABSENCE DUE TO YOUR OWN DEATH- This will be accepted as a reasonable excuse for absence. However, we require at least two weeks notification as you're expected to train your replacement. TOILET USE- Too much core working time is being spent in the toilet. Very soon, we will follow the practice of going to the toilet in alphabetical order. For instance: all employees whose name starts wit 'A' will go to from 8:00 to 8:20. 'B' will go from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. If you're unable to go at your allotted time, it'll be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies, employees may be allowed to swap their time with a co-worker. Both workers' supervisors must approve this in writing. In addition, there will be a strict 3-minute time limit in the toilet. At the end of the 3 minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper will retract and the door will open. LUNCH BREAK- skinny pple get an hour lunch break, as they need to eat more so they can look healthy. Normal size pple get 30mins to maintain their average figure. Fat pple get 5mins, becaus thats all the time it takes to drink a slimfast and an appetite suppressing pill. DRESS CODE- It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you puttin on fancy trainers or designer clothin, we'll assume that you do not need a payrise. Thank you for your cooperation. Signed MANAGEMENT.

lmao!!
they bleep out words on NL.
hahaha

it took away from the joke.
i laughed at that but NOT the joke. lol

you should look for another way to write the word.

Thanx ya'll. @ amaka, at least u no sha cry to my non-joke. @ rom, thanx 4 d tip. Sure to luk out next time.

Shioor

Welcome New Lander

welcum too