A very interesting case was brought to my desk a few weeks ago and I thought it would be interesting to hear your views on it. Here goes.

A couple brought thier daughter to hospital for us to examine if she was still a virgin. I honestly don't know what exactly people want us to do when they make such a request. Should we stick our fingers in and break the hymen to prove she's a virgin or what Anyway they reported that their 15 yrs old daughter had been caught in bed doing amazing acrobatics with the next door neighbor. As expected her parents were freaking out with the mother weeping and the father calling the army, the navy, the President etc. When further questioned under a calmer environment the girl admitted this wasn't the first time, that she and the guy had been having sex for the past three months. She said she loved the boy and didn't want any wahala and her parents were "embarrassing her"(yayyy for westernization)

After a while there was some commotion outside and then the parents of the boy came in. The situation exploded with both parents shouting in each other. It was during the calming down process I saw the culprit.

A 16yr old boy. Looking extremely guilty

The issue now is that the boy's parents are accusing the girl of seducing the boy. Always coming to the house at odd hours, trying to catch the boy alone when they are not at home. The boys parents were the first to mention statutory rape, that thier son was underage and vulnerable while the other neighbours' daughter "don tear eye finish".

The parents of the girl were outraged of course and threatened fire and brimstone. The parents of the boy are not holding back either. Both kids have agreed the sex was consensual.

So who do we blame for this palaver?

Case dismissed

You see Nigerian parents! Nigerian parents need courses on parenting. Seriously! Instead of getting to the root of the problem - why under age children would be having sex, they are throwing blames like through passes. The result: the children will learn to do it without being caught; maybe go to a friends place or rent a room at a cheap hotel. From there they will go places while forming good children at home.

They have money to throw away in court. The lawyers will laugh at this!

Nigerian parents end up making their children professional hypocrites.

This one tough.

Statutory rape is the case only if one of them is at least 18. In the case they are both minors.

VictorRomanov:
You see Nigerian parents! Nigerian parents need courses on parenting. Seriously! Instead of getting to the root of the problem - why under age children would be having sex, they are throwing blames like through passes. The result: the children will learn to do it without being caught; maybe go to a friends place or rent a room at a cheap hotel. From there they will go places while forming good children at home.

They have money to throw away in court. The lawyers will laugh at this!

Nigerian parents end up making their children professional hypocrites.

Exactly. Nigerians continue act like they cannot think for themselves but will rather be governed by a book full of obvious lies.

What is wrong with young love? Why can't they just dialogue and explain to their kids what they are getting into?

Apparently, the parents are neither mature nor enlightened enough to parent.

hahn:


Exactly. Nigerians continue act like they cannot think for themselves but will rather be governed by a book full of obvious lies.

What is wrong with young love? Why can't they just dialogue and explain to their kids what they are getting into?

Apparently, the parents are neither mature nor enlightened enough to parent.

I don't know what book u re referring to. But the constitution of Nigeria prohibits sex before 18. My point is rather than pointing fingers of blame on who seduced who, the parents should talk to their children about why they shouldn't be having sex at such an age. Get to know why they even doing what they re doing.

By the way everything is wrong with young love!

None.

And I don't understand this seducing non-sense

Does it mean that the boy's parents did not train him well enough to resist 'seduction'?

Both parents should educate their kids on the need of abstinence.

VictorRomanov:



I don't know what book u re referring to. But the constitution of Nigeria prohibits sex before 18. My point is rather than pointing fingers of blame on who seduced who, the parents should talk to their children about why they shouldn't be having sex at such an age. Get to know why they even doing what they re doing.

By the way everything is wrong with young love!

We are saying the same thing.

The fact that having sex at such an age is wrong won't do much to prevent. Parents have to handle the issue with understanding. Abi, you no play mummy and daddy when you small?

I was referring to the holy books. The Quran and the bible. One of the book supports underage marriage and the other supports hypocrisy. Spare the rod and spoil the child. None of these books teach parents to be understanding to their children

hahn:


We are saying the same thing.

The fact that having sex at such an age is wrong won't do much to prevent. Parents have to handle the issue with understanding. Abi, you no play mummy and daddy when you small?

I was referring to the holy books. The Quran and the bible. One of the book supports underage marriage and the other supports hypocrisy. Spare the rod and spoil the child. None of these books teach parents to be understanding to their children

Maybe you should check that again. I am a Christian and I've never read that from any bible. I don't know of the Quran. But what I do know is this:

When anyone is replying to a matter before he hears [it], that is foolishness on his part and a humiliation.

Proverbs 18:13.

And that is what the parents of both kids are doing!

VictorRomanov:



Maybe you should check that again. I am a Christian and I've never read that from any bible. I don't know of the Quran. But what I do know is this:

Proverbs 18:13.

And that is what the parents of both kids are doing!

The bible also says "Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks." in Psalm 137:9

Both are underaged. No one is getting charged or arrested for anything.
The boy's parents should sit him down and teach him the importance of protecting oneself against STDs, and to be responsible for one's sexual health.
The girl's parents should also sit her down, counsel her and take her to family planning clinic to get on family planning.

hahn:


The bible also says "Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks." in Psalm 137:9

Read verse 8 then 9

8 O daughter of Babylon, who is soon to be devastated, Happy will be the one who rewards youWith the treatment you inflicted on us. 9 Happy will be the one who seizes your childrenAnd dashes them against the rocks.

So that portion wasn't talking about child training rather it was the Israelite hoping the Babylonians would be treated the way they treated Israel.


By the way this thread in no way mentions either the bible or the Quran. So I am wondering why you bring your disdain for them into a discussion about child rearing!

hahn:


The bible also says "Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks." in Psalm 137:9

You dey quote rubbish. Don't quote what you can't interpret .

VictorRomanov:


Read verse 8 then 9

8 O daughter of Babylon, who is soon to be devastated, Happy will be the one who rewards youWith the treatment you inflicted on us. 9 Happy will be the one who seizes your childrenAnd dashes them against the rocks.

So that portion wasn't talking about child training rather it was the Israelite hoping the Babylonians would be treated the way they treated Israel.


By the way this thread in no way mentions either the bible or the Quran. So I am wondering why you bring your disdain for them into a discussion about child rearing!

Yeah. The quote is irrelevant.

It is just that, most people in these climes get their inspiration and understanding from religion.

Most Nigerian homes are governed by parents who have no idea about empathy and who expect too much from their children. From the story above, it is obvious that the parents are more concerned about pushing blame than facing the issue. It would make more sense if they cooperate with each other and try to solve the issue.

No matter how hard you try to hide things of the world from kids, they will eventually find out and seek to experiment.

It is important for the parents to guide the kids in their decisions and their mistakes.

Both parents must be wealthy...



A poor man would transfer the aggression on his/her ward.

The parents should be blamed of course, for thinking their wards can do no wrong...as is usual with a lot of parents who carry around the misconception that their style of parenting is best and fool-proof, forgetting that teenagers will most likely be teenagers when it comes down to the point.

Amplitron:
Statutory rape is the case only if one of them is at least 18. In the case they are both minors.

So it's perfectly legal what they have done by sleeping with each other?

VictorRomanov:
You see Nigerian parents! Nigerian parents need courses on parenting. Seriously! Instead of getting to the root of the problem - why under age children would be having sex, they are throwing blames like through passes. The result: the children will learn to do it without being caught; maybe go to a friends place or rent a room at a cheap hotel. From there they will go places while forming good children at home.

They have money to throw away in court. The lawyers will laugh at this!

Nigerian parents end up making their children professional hypocrites.

How will getting to the root of the problem help? They are kids and they are having sex! They should be stopped and severely punished. C'est finis.

Why is everyone blaming the parents Wouldn't u react the same way if it was your child?

5minsmadness:

How will getting to the root of the problem help? They are kids and they are having sex! They should be stopped and severely punished. C'est finis.

Do they know having sex at that age is wrong? U see, the girl is even saying the parents are embarrassing her! Implying that she thinks the parents are blowing things out of proportion. Common sex that everybody is having! Even girls younger than she is. Besides she claims she loves the guy. Equating sex with love.

All these wrong reasonings need correction, which severe punishment may not stop. Shouting and flogging would only drive them to being smarter. They will learn to be very secretive next time. Cos they don't know why you re angry and paranoid at them being with whom they love. The parents need to reach the hearts of these kids. Let them why having sex at that age is wrong. How they çan control the urge. And the consequencies when they give in. When the children know this, they'll be able to stand for something even in the face of peer pressure, whether the parents are there or not.

Blame the parents for not discouraging their children against sex before marriage.

I laughed out very loud when I read your piece @5minsmadness.erm as to a question of law, I have a not seen where it has been written in the statutes, that consensual sex between two young persons under 18 is punishable with a sentence ,so a parent suing for statutory rape is wasting time and just wants to shake the other party. Moreover if the charge is to succeed then I think, the sentence would just be little, though it would not succeed
Op please eat and charge them well, then after everything refer both parents to a good counsellor who'll teach them how to keep up with teenagers of nowadays . I hope I helped

Nice case bro. Check out my thread and tell me what you think.
https://www.nairaland.com/4543733/what-strangest-experience-ever-patient