During the Ikeja Bomb blast,

Compensated Victim: Thanks you sir for the Money

Abacha: This is all I have to compensate to the Ikeja Bomb Blast Victim If that is not enough come to Aso rock to collect the Rest.


If you remember any of Abacha Funniest Statement, Please Post.

Sorry oh.

I think the Bomb Blast happened after Abacha's death!

Sorry Can you remember when he made that statement I think you heard that before. No big deal

deor03:

Sorry oh.

I think the Bomb Blast happened after Abacha's death!

the spirit of abacha lived on tru obasanjo.

Following the unrests that followed the annulment of the june 12 elections:

Pellow Nigherians kwonsidering the swocial and folitical unrests in the kwountry that has lept the kwountry in a state op trauma and comflete kaos and apter a frolonged kwonsultations at the armed porces ruling kancil (AFRC) meeting this morning,i hab given instructions to the security agencies to defloy to the streets to get the situation under kwontrol and any groof op feofle who cause any purther kios will be dealt wip to the pull extend op the law and i hab giben an order that they soot at sight.

long lib pederal refublic of Nigheria,long lib the armed porces ruling kancil

gaby:

Following the unrests that followed the annulment of the june 12 elections:

Pellow Nigherians kwonsidering the swocial and folitical unrests in the kwountry that has lept the kwountry in a state op trauma and comflete kaos and apter a frolonged kwonsultations at the armed porces ruling kancil (AFRC) meeting this morning,i hab given instructions to the security agencies to defloy to the streets to get the situation under kwontrol and any groof op feofle who cause any purther kios will be dealt wip to the pull extend op the law and i hab giben an order that they soot at sight.

long lib pederal refublic of Nigheria,long lib the armed porces ruling kancil

gaby:

Following the unrests that followed the annulment of the june 12 elections:

Pellow Nigherians kwonsidering the swocial and folitical unrests in the kwountry that has lept the kwountry in a state op trauma and comflete kaos and apter a frolonged kwonsultations at the armed porces ruling kancil (AFRC) meeting this morning,i hab given instructions to the security agencies to defloy to the streets to get the situation under kwontrol and any groof op feofle who cause any purther kios will be dealt wip to the pull extend op the law and i hab giben an order that they soot at sight.

long lib pederal refublic of Nigheria,long lib the armed porces ruling kancil

ROFL!!!!! Hahahahahahaha Gaby you's a real mess. I am laughing with tears in my eyes.

Lol, Wahala dey ooh

''Fellow countrymen, never try a party with a couple of Indian hookers. It's deadly''.

Correc

bawomolo:

Correct Composition

No man born of woman will ever defeat Barkin Zuwo of Kano state.

For instance, the Rimi administration claimed that Zuwo voted for massive use of derivation as a means of sharing the national revenue whereas Kano State , which he was representing in the Senate, did not produce mineral resources. The senator, according to the state government, did not know that the minerals being referred to in the bill for legislative deliberations were deposits like coal, crude oil, natural gas, gold, tin ore, etc. Therefore, the alhaji innocently claimed on the floor of the Senate that Kano “has surplus minerals like Fanta, Coca cola, Sprite, Mirinda and even Tango.”

There are other instances. Legend has it that Zuwo once saw a number of car marts and concluded they all belonged to one person known as Saleh, for the simple reason that each mart had this inscription, “for sale”. The Kano State government campaign against Zuwo did catch the national imagination in a profound way. Barkin Zuwo has thus become a national bye word for lack of intellectual sophistication.

http://www.sunnewsonline.com/webpages/opinion/2007/oct/03/opinionl-03-10-2007-001.htm

During the Ikeja Bomb blast,

Compensated Victim: Thanks you sir for the Money

Abacha: This is all I have to compensate to the Ikeja Bomb Blast Victim If that is not enough come to Aso rock to collect the Rest.


If you remember any of Abacha Funniest Statement, Please Post.

omo, na lie abeg. The ikeja cantonement blasts happened in 2002 while abacha died in 1998.

This man from the netherlands you can be very funny

1. Achike Udenwa; a former gov of Imo state and a serving minister had a converstion with the press months before he completed his 8 years tenure as governor of Imo state.

Press: What are your numerous achievements as a governor?

Udenwa: First and formost, my administration have been able to attract "Mr Biggs' to Owerri, the capital.

2. President Yaradua visited a train subway in Shanghai china last year. He thought it was magic to have such excellent facility in place.

Yaradua: Phleez, who built this? I need him to pollow me to najeria start work immediately.

3. OBJ on his visit to Ikeja cantonment after the bomb blast.

Journalist: People are worried that you came late.

OBJ: Am I suppose to be here in the first place?

4. OBJ wanted to assure ngerians that yaradua wasnt dead yet after he collapse 3 times during his campaign in the south.
The following phone conversation ensued between OBJ on campaign ground and yaradua in a hospital bed in Germany;

OBJ: Umooru. . dem say you don die.
Yaradua: No sir, im still alive.
OBJ: Shebi I tell them say you still dey alive for german hospital.

5. OBJ was heading a town hall meeting in the wake of incessant air mishaps. After shouting down a man who made a fantastic suggestion, he called on Oby Ezekwesili to make her's. As she stood to make her own contributions, OBJ couldnt hide the lust in him despite the serious situation being discussed.

OBJ: Ahhh. . . . . Oby, you look beautiful ooo!

6. In the wake of kangaroo impeachment of Ladoja, Aloa-akala assumed office. Afterwards, the impeachment was overturned by the court of law which enabled Ladoja to return back as the governor but Akala refused to give up the sit.

Journalist: Sir, when are going to vacate the sit of the governor?

Akala: Never. Can there be two kings in one palace?

7. The late Adedibu was asked why he wanted Ladoja out as gov by all cost.

Galaxy tv: Baba, why do want your political son out at all cost?

Adedibu: Him dey sturborn. Him wan chop alone. Him wan chop the whole security vote alone. All wetin I dey ask for na N40million out the N100million he gets in a month. Oloshi.
Failing to do so shows that his time is up as a governor. He must go. Insha Allah, I will throw him out before the end of the month.

Journalist: Some people say you are a thug.

Adedibu: If you say so. By the way, whats wrong in being a thug?

Mustapha: Oga, news has it that some people are criticizing your governing style.
Abacha: Tell Rogers to shoot them at sight. We dont need more political prisoners.

The politics thread is now officially the joke section.

I'm loving it guys. Post some more.

More!!! More!!! I am enjoying this. Naija fit make person cry.

larez:

More!!! More!!! I am enjoying this. Naija fit make person cry.

Oya brother Larez post your own abeg!!!

gaby:

Oya brother Larez post your own abeg!!!

Ole Boy, my standup comedy days na when I be mock-news King of lagos back in my days at Gregs. Now I be supporting fan wey dey clap well well. The one wey me I remember be Busa Suka Dimka announcement wey he make after he try Topple Murtala regime. I wan make you type am de way wey he talk am for radio back then. Humour me.

This statement was made in the mid 90's by Gen Sani Abacha when different groups in the country were disturbing him with different demands.

(National Anthem) Gbam gbam gbam gbam gbam gbammmm!!!!!, Nigeria call obey, to serve our fathers land,……………………….

I General Sani Abacha, FSS, MSS, CFR, GCFR, Head of state and kwamander in chiep of the armed porces of zhe pederal refublik of nijeria.

Following the unrest and agitations prom different groups and organizations prom different parts of zhe kwantory, I hab resolved with members of zhe armed porces ruling kancil to take the following actions and measures to reduce the froblem of zhe kwantory to the bearest minimum.

ASSU, dissolved
ASUP, dissolved
NLC, dissolved
NUPENG, dissolved
PENGASSAN, dissolved
NADECO, dissolved
OPC, dissolved
AFENIFERI, dissolved
All social and cultural organizations, dissolved
All tribal and ethnic meetings and gatherings, dissolved

Any person or group of persons caught pormenting trouble in any part of the kwantory will be dealth with akwondingly.

Purther more, all GOC’s, FOC’s, AOC’s, IG, and state police kwammishinas hab bin ordered to arrest all sabotuwas and enemy of progress of our great kwantory.

I greet you all fellow nijerians, and i thank you all for you loyalty.

Long live the pederal refublik of nijeria, and God bless you all.

zebra:

This statement was made in the mid 90's by Gen Sani Abacha when different groups in the country were disturbing him with different demands.

(National Anthem) Gbam gbam gbam gbam gbam gbammmm!!!!!, Nigeria call obey, to serve our fathers land,……………………….

I General Sani Abacha, FSS, MSS, CFR, GCFR, Head of state and kwamander in chiep of the armed porces of zhe pederal refublik of nijeria.

Following the unrest and agitations prom different groups and organizations prom different parts of zhe kwantory, I hab resolved with members of zhe armed porces ruling kancil to take the following actions and measures to reduce the froblem of zhe kwantory to the bearest minimum.

ASSU, dissolved
ASUP, dissolved
NLC, dissolved
NUPENG, dissolved
PENGASSAN, dissolved
NADECO, dissolved
OPC, dissolved
AFENIFERI, dissolved
All social and cultural organizations, dissolved
All tribal and ethnic meetings and gatherings, dissolved

Any person or group of persons caught pormenting trouble in any part of the kwantory will be dealth with akwondingly.

Purther more, all GOC’s, FOC’s, AOC’s, IG, and state police kwammishinas hab bin ordered to to arrest all sabotuwas and enemy of progress of our great kwantory.

I greet you all fellow nijerians, and i thank you all for you loyalty.

Long live the pederal refublik of nijeria, and God bless you all.

Una dey mek me laugh tire ohhh, but e be like sey this wan don begin look like Northern bashing. But lmao, My Northern Brothers dey sha, but dat English wey British force on them still dey cause problem. I belief sey if na spanish dem dey speak, e for dey easier. Mek una stop dey pick on North, oya, I wan hear Calabar man talk, lol

Journalist: Some people say you are a thug.

Adedibu: If you say so. By the way, whats wrong in being a thug?

larez:

Ole Boy, my standup comedy days na when I be mock-news King of lagos back in my days at Gregs. Now I be supporting fan wey dey clap well well. The one wey me I remember be Busa Suka Dimka announcement wey he make after he try Topple Murtala regime. I wan make you type am de way wey he talk am for radio back then. Humour me.

hahahahaha, thumbs up for that men you beat me to it was about posting that as well, i still remember the day he gave that speech as if it were yesterday

gaby:


hahahahaha, thumbs up for that men you beat me to it was about posting that as well, i still remember the day he gave that speech as if it were yesterday

Post your rendition, I will start it for you,

Pellow Nijeeriens, dis is lefftanant colonel Busa Suka Dimka. De guberment of Muuurrtala Muhammed have been overtrown, , Oya continue from that.

@larez

I go wound you oooh, ,dont you know my pather is a second elefant in nijerian army??

Gaby, you need to hook me up with him so he can supply me with soldier guards when I begin developments in Lagos. So there won't be any Omo-onile palava.

funny post
from the poster wrong thread to the funny posts by narailanders.

men, i love this and am laughing in kalabari

WHO BUILD DIS GADA !!

I WISH U A SOONEST RECOVER !

Col Raji Rasaki former gov of lagos

Abacha hardly left aso rock so it was reported that he once called al mustapha
and asked

mustafa ,mustafa are we still in fpower

iya wo dimka
kilo wa se l'oja

mo wa r'ewedu

ededu elelo

ewedu cici

tete ma lo le
won ti fe pa dimka

ye ye ye ye
fila e ti jabo

ye ye ye ye
gele e ti jabo


sori too long to translate

Jairzinho:

WHO BUILD DIS GADA !!

I WISH U A SOONEST RECOVER !

Col Raji Rasaki former gov of lagos

Thought that was Sir Shina Peters?

Jairzinho:

WHO BUILD DIS GADA !!

I WISH U A SOONEST RECOVER !

Col Raji Rasaki former gov of lagos

I think he was inspecting some collapsed drains or somthing

'Who build this gada with san san?'