My dad hates me for reasons best known to him.I am Richard 17 years of age looking to gain admission. life has been miserable in my so called fathers house my mom and dad divorced 11 years ago I lived with my mom for some time before dad asked me to come over and stay with him I felt happy he's my Dad right? but thing is he has been treating me like a slave. dad is a drunk and a womanizer maybe that's why all the four wives he married left him. He comes home hours past midnight and beats me for not opening the gate for him I do all I can to please him even if they aren't necessary but still calls me worthless he makes feel embarrassed in public calls me and my mother 'big fools' he refuses to give me food he allows my step sisters torture me right in his front sometimes accuses of stealing his money beats the shit out of me and later recovers the money.what baffles me is that I am his only son. One expects that I be pampered but reverse is the case . he once flogged for almost 3 hours I passed out woke up and he continued I don't know why he hates me so much not like I have a bad attitude. It may be the Feud he had with Mom that is causing all this . He makes me feel miserable day by day I don't know what to do please help!

It's a form of discipline. You just have to endure

Is this a joke? Please return to your mother's home.

RichieDaVinci01:
My dad hates me for reasons best known to him.I am Richard 17 years of age looking to gain admission. life has been miserable in my so called fathers house my mom and dad divorced 11 years ago I lived with my mom for some time before dad asked me to come over and stay with him I felt happy he's my Dad right? but thing is he has been treating me like a slave. dad is a drunk and a womanizer maybe that's why all the four wives he married left him. He comes home hours past midnight and beats me for not opening the gate for him I do all I can to please him even if they aren't necessary but still calls me worthless he makes feel embarrassed in public calls me and my mother 'big fools' he refuses to give me food he allows my step sisters torture me right in his front sometimes accuses of stealing his money beats the shit out of me and later recovers the money.what baffles me is that I am his only son. One expects that I be pampered but reverse is the case . he once flogged for almost 3 hours I passed out woke up and he continued I don't know why he hates me so much not like I have a bad attitude. It may be the Feud he had with Mom that is causing all this . He makes me feel miserable day by day I don't know what to do please help!

as much as we dont choose our parents, at the same time we dont have to endure their ill manners, their abuse, or most importantly, their lack of care/respect. i would say, give him and everyone else in that house another chance but let them all know that what they are doing isnt right/acceptable (they may think you are desperate and cant leave)

i will suggest you wait for a beautiful afternoon when he is not under the influence, and ask him if there is anything wrong or if he wants to talk to you about anything that may be bothering him (or on his mind). if nothing comes out then let him know that you aint happy with the way he's been treating you and that you wont take his poor treatment any longer, and would return where you were before if he continue acting like he doesnt want you there. open up to him and let him understand how he is pushing you away while you are trying to get to know your father better.

the man asked you to move in, so it means he "needs" you in some way. you just have to figure out a way to get this man to open up to you. are you often away from home, just you and him sober? remember that this man last lived with you when you were still a kid so he may still take you as the child he was "disciplining" back in the days. show him that you are a man now.

btw the reason why his 4 ex wives left is unimportant, and dont use such views to get to him. everyone make mistakes, and some guys take longer to learn from them (sometimes only hitting rock bottom is the key). his heavy drinking may be the issue here but we know that its a delicate subject and i dont think you should expect/ask him to stop... but let him understand that it is destroying all the positive things in his life, and especially the little r/ship you guys have.

good luck

So why are you still living with them? Go back to your mum na.

freecocoa:
So why are you still living with them? Go back to your mum na.

why give up that easily? at least, shouldnt he let them know how he feels, to see if dad cares (and ultimately change)? the half sibling may see him as a threat, so their actions are somehow understandable, but maybe dad may act differently if/when they are one and one (and sober).
cost nothing to try and if dad's treatment doesnt improve, then son can go. nothing lost, and at least he wont be wondering in the future about if/maybe he had done/tried this and that.

this is a chance for this man to have a r/ship with his dad, this is a big issue that "may" affect this guy for the rest of his life

MRBrownJ:


why give up that easily? at least, shouldnt he let them know how he feels, to see if dad cares (and ultimately change)? the half sibling may see him as a threat, so their actions are somehow understandable, but maybe dad may act differently if/when they are one and one (and sober).
cost nothing to try and if dad's treatment doesnt improve, then son can then go. nothing lost, and at least he wont be wondering in the future about if/maybe he had done/tried this and that.

You are right, he could talk to the man but I seriously doubt anything would change, especially since in Nigeria, it's not a usual thing to "talk" to one's parent about their behaviour, that alone can be seen as an offence.

freecocoa:
You are right, he could talk to the man but I seriously doubt anything would change, especially since in Nigeria, it's not a usual thing to "talk" to one's parent about their behaviour, that alone can be seen as an offence.

since the son has nothing to lose, trying to do something different wont hurt his chances. at the moment he is on a downhill heading for a crash, and he badly needs drastic measures to break this "bad start" momentum. also, starting over by leaving the house and only showing up, once in a while when he is sure that dad is sober, could help.... and if the man is drunk then stay away... but that could be the end of their r/ship, as it seem that this dad is a well trained drunk.

so many issues to consider, but the important questions that RichieDaVinci01 should answer ARE:
- do you really want (or better yet, have the will/desire/strength) to build a r/ship with your dad?
- and if yes, what are the reasons for you only trying now?
- what happened all these previous years?

Find a bible believing church and make sure you are committed to Kingdom demands, and commit this situation into the hands of the Almighty GOD, remember there is nothing or situation that he cannot change. If you are not yet a born again christain, pls quickly give your life to christ, that is were the security and peace is, or else the crisis will continue, make sure you wake up every night to pray no matter the duration of the prayer, remember if there is a man to pray, there is a GOD to hear. Pray your way to victory, it's a bright new day for you. GOD BLESS U.

RichieDaVinci01:
My dad hates me for reasons best known to him.I am Richard 17 years of age looking to gain admission. life has been miserable in my so called fathers house my mom and dad divorced 11 years ago I lived with my mom for some time before dad asked me to come over and stay with him I felt happy he's my Dad right? but thing is he has been treating me like a slave. dad is a drunk and a womanizer maybe that's why all the four wives he married left him. He comes home hours past midnight and beats me for not opening the gate for him I do all I can to please him even if they aren't necessary but still calls me worthless he makes feel embarrassed in public calls me and my mother 'big fools' he refuses to give me food he allows my step sisters torture me right in his front sometimes accuses of stealing his money beats the shit out of me and later recovers the money.what baffles me is that I am his only son. One expects that I be pampered but reverse is the case . he once flogged for almost 3 hours I passed out woke up and he continued I don't know why he hates me so much not like I have a bad attitude. It may be the Feud he had with Mom that is causing all this . He makes me feel miserable day by day I don't know what to do please help!

did ur dad chain u in his hwz? if no den u no get sense

ASAP FIND YOUR WAY TO YOUR MUMS PLACE MRBROWN YOUR ADVICE IS UNFOUNDED THE MAN HAS DEEP RESENTMENT FOR THE LITTLE BOY BECAUSE OF THE MOTHER PERIOD


some situations does not need asking question when it invovles threat to like you quickly save yourself to aviod stories

Go back to mama please.

Being an only son,you're a threat to the girls. Maybe he is protecting you or maybe its a transfer of aggression.

nnamdiokere45:
did ur dad chain u in his hwz? if no den u no get sense

ok what do you do when he's the only chance at getting an education

RichieDaVinci01:
My dad hates me for reasons best known to him.I am Richard 17 years of age looking to gain admission. life has been miserable in my so called fathers house my mom and dad divorced 11 years ago I lived with my mom for some time before dad asked me to come over and stay with him I felt happy he's my Dad right? but thing is he has been treating me like a slave. dad is a drunk and a womanizer maybe that's why all the four wives he married left him. He comes home hours past midnight and beats me for not opening the gate for him I do all I can to please him even if they aren't necessary but still calls me worthless he makes feel embarrassed in public calls me and my mother 'big fools' he refuses to give me food he allows my step sisters torture me right in his front sometimes accuses of stealing his money beats the shit out of me and later recovers the money.what baffles me is that I am his only son. One expects that I be pampered but reverse is the case . he once flogged for almost 3 hours I passed out woke up and he continued I don't know why he hates me so much not like I have a bad attitude. It may be the Feud he had with Mom that is causing all this . He makes me feel miserable day by day I don't know what to do please help!

This is not new to teenagers
Here is my advice.
Pending when you find a better abode.
Thrive for a change of attitude.
But immediately, talk with your father. Simply put, discuss only the things about you that gets him angry.
Don't say anything bad your step sisters attitude towards u. He has been told so many negative things about you. So don't worry.

Some of things are right while many may be untrue.
Promise to be a better person and assure him that you won't let him down by becoming a failure in life.
Armed with that information, you begin to work

Let your attitude be more positive onwards
1.Embrace God and Godly things like never before.
2.Be more Kingdom minded, the time you spend doing nothing at home can be effectively channelled to evangelism and Church service (cleaning and others)
3. Let this new love find expression in you within your family at home.
4.Be on the low but with very high Spirit.
5. Stop hanging out if you hangout at all.
6.Pray for your dad and your sisters.

This is what happens, after a week of change of this attitude, it's the weaknesses in you that will be a point of attack. Never mind, you will solidify these weaknesses over time.

These are trying times for you, you need only God to get through. Wisdom from God to deal with the family troubles you are going through.
God shall help you.

More importantly, let this tribulations build you for a successful life. The trials will not tarry long but only a short time. But the way you handle this will have defining moments all your life.

Make the best out it. I wish you victory.

wolextayo:
It's a form of discipline. You just have to endure

WTF?! Endure?! What form of discipline is that? And what sort of "advice" is this? Or, are you joking?

MissMercedes:


WTF?! Endure?! What form of discipline is that? And what sort of "advice" is this? Or, are you joking?

I'm real. That's just my own view, you might see other comment interesting but you still have to reason with mine

wolextayo:
It's a form of discipline. You just have to endure

Are you cursed

wolextayo:
It's a form of discipline. You just have to endure

WTF?? Endure what? This in humane treatment till he dies and make headlines in the dailies? Kai this African mentality of endurance should have limits ooooooooo

wolextayo:
It's a form of discipline. You just have to endure

you say wetin

Op, pls go 2 ur mum. Ur safety first, den u can call him, pray 4 him 4rm dere. But run 4 ur dear live, I'm pleading.

I would have advise u to stay but when alcohol is involved......

You should know that he is under the influence of alcohol and u are really in danger because he was not doing whatever he was doing to u with clear mind.. He might harm u seriously and his punishment might not be too great in court of law because he was under an influence..that's why many stays clear from alcoholics.....

Go to your mums side and cool off a while.. only come for a visit whenever u can except maybe u were not welcomed in you mom's side...

If u feel u do not want to go to your mom's house, then there must be some one your dad respects... pay him/her a visit... explain how u have tried to be a good son to your dad but all your effort was not yielding result.... simply pour your heart out....Just say u might be thinking of going back to your mom's if he continue to use u to take out his frustration...

Just calm down young man, your dad doesn't hate u....he wasn't himself ok....

Just mix hypo & a cup of dangote cement & force him to drink it at night. Bliv me u'd be free as a bird.

17yrs but u don dey fvck ashawo

Holywizard:
Just mix hypo & a cup of dangote cement & force him to drink it at night. Bliv me u'd be free as a bird.

17yrs but u don dey fvck ashawo

And how do you know he's sleeping with prostitutes?

mysticgal:

Are you cursed

It's my birth month, I won't like to act weird. So stay on your lane and watch your mouth

Prettiepearlz:

WTF?? Endure what? This in humane treatment till he dies and make headlines in the dailies? Kai this African mentality of endurance should have limits ooooooooo

Then tell him the best thing to do. Biko

wolextayo:

It's my birth month, I won't like to act weird. So stay on your lane and watch your mouth

The answer should be yes, I am cursed or no, I am cursed