About her integrity, Nigeria is like the mother who sees her son defecate in the middle of the village square and says nothing. Two days later, she throws a mad fit because the village idiot entertains his drinking mates with tales of the unmannered family whose child defecates in public. She storms into the beer parlor, knocking over bottles, grabs him by his wrapper and demands vehemently that he explain why he had made it his personal mission in life to disgrace her family.

Chimanda Adichie has been criticized for occasionally portraying Nigeria in some unflattering light in her critically acclaimed works of fiction , and Hollywood films ( also fiction) that make the slightest insinuations that Nigerians indulge in the artistry of internet scamming are regularly met with righteous indignation.

Who?
We?
How dare they say that?

However, with pause and reflection and the eventual illumination of the figurative light bulb (aha!) we could and should (but we won't) realize that our outrage over this perfectly symmetrical perception of what we ourselves transmit is as absurd as our claim that these perceptions are baseless. What other inference does Mr. Smith draw from the several emails he receives daily detailing the opportunity to make a fortune through helping a recently orphaned Nigerian Prince to access his inheritance by advancing him money for a good Lawyer? That Nigeria has a lot of Royal families and the problem of a plague striking down all the Kings. Probably.

But our famous sense of humor that has clinched us the accolade of being the "happiest people" despite our dire economic and social conditions is in very short supply when others recognize and address our funny colors. It's just unbearable then. How dare they? Donald Trump says we are lazy, we don't produce anything and import everything, how dare he? Ravi Naik says Nigerians invade his country to increase the crime rate so he wants India to limit Nigerian immigrants, how dare he? David Cameron claims Nigerians are fantastically corrupt, never mind that in recognition of this same fact the current government has dedicated the better part of the nation's resources to combat corruption, but who's Cameron? He better apologize!

The 2009 science fiction film (yes, again fiction) District 9 portrayed Nigerians as a corrupt group feeding on and procreating with aliens. Okay, that wasn't funny. So it was banned from Nigerian theaters for what was considered a "poor portrayal of the Nigerian people". Dr. Akunyili, who was information minister at the time, claimed the film portrayed Nigerians as criminals and cannibals and that the name of one cannibal Obesandjo was too similar to the name of a certain saintly ex-President to be legal. Now, I know we aren't cannibals. Unless.........could they have been figuratively referring to the fact that some foreigners feel our need to bleed them for every penny as intensely as though they were trapped in a den of flesh eating monsters?

Hmmmm, I'm taking this way too seriously.

I want to make a case in our defense regarding the criminal allusions but Mr. Smith has all those emails so I'll have to let this one slide. May be sometimes a cannibal is just a good ol' cannibal. But granted, Hollywood just has to look elsewhere for the heritage of their awesome fictional cannibals and zombies in future because: snap! we ain't havin' it.

Try China or India, or countries who are just too busy working on their image from the inside by ensuring their citizens model the values they want associated with their nation to notice when Hollywood slips one over them. Not us, we are vigilant of these distractions veering us off course of national rebranding. The T-shirts and flags sporting: I love Nigeria, I love my country, are being produced in China so we are covered, we got the time. And we're watching. So don't you dare.

Don't you dare tell us what you think of us. Only If it's unflattering, though; if it's good prattle away, don't let us stop you. But can we really get mad at the mirror for revealing to us the smudge on our face? Wouldn't it be silly to smash the mirror instead of reaching for the wash cloth?

The latest smudge of interest here is the 'Melaye Debacle'. Dino Melaye, the robust senator from Kogi state is in the news again - yet another feather in his cap of notoriety. This time, his spat is with the Lagos State Senator Remi Tinubu who had called him out on his intimidation of senators who planned to testify for the Prosecution in the Saraki trial. Let's not even get distracted by the impropriety of that alone. Tinubu described Melaye's conduct as "thuggish" and aroused the misogynist spirit that never quite sleeps in this particular man. So he made the following thoughtless utterances which, by all means, you're welcome to judge:

"Look this is not Bourdillon (the Lagos residence of Mrs. Tinubu’s politician husband, APC National Leader Ahmed Bola Tinubu). I will beat you up...impregnate you and nothing will happen.”

"I would rather be with a more robust and beautiful woman like Stella Oduah,”

Sad face.

There are actually several tragedies here and while they are all horrid in their own right I'm not sure how they should be ranked so I'll just go with what comes to mind first.

First, is the implication that Stella Oduah is somehow supposed to be flattered that Dino Melaye would much rather stick it to her "a robust and beautiful" woman than Remi Tinubu whom he described as being "dried up like Bonga fish". Oh, Dino! The hardship of that to Remi Tinubu is immeasurable I'm sure. No more sleep as Dino has murdered sleep. No shut eye; this woman will lie awake lamenting over her misfortune. The home run here would be if Stella Oduah were actually blushing with pride over this, in the confines of her room, allowing the lecherous disrespect of Melaye keep her warm at night, thinking: oh, yeah! I'm fuckable.

I'm so sorry Susan B. Anthony, I'm sure the mere thought of this made you roll over in your grave.

Second tragedy, is that Melaye is right. He could actually beat, rape and impregnate even this distinguished Senator Tinubu and get away with it. Because she's a woman. And women rights in Nigeria is still trying to catch up to rights women fought for in the Western 1800s. This singular utterance by the senator is indicative of were we are as Nigerian women in our struggle for emancipation: Not even out of bed yet.

This is why little six year old girls get raped by old men in their fifties even. And when the mother reports this to the police, they have the effrontery to suggest that the little girl is only acting out what she must have seen the mother do at home. In effect: you're all whores. Suck it up and get off my porch! I was so disgusted when I heard this over the radio on Info PHC a few days ago.

This is also why we celebrate international women's day with such grand gestures as the one recently made by Senator Ali Ndume when he urged Nigerian men to make the ultimate sacrifice to women: embrace polygamy - marry more wives to show care to them. What would we do without these men and their self-serving magnanimity. Is it brilliant how they make women thankful for their expanded options or have women simply lost their marbles and their ability to make women value themselves less is really not a super power? Ndume specifically urged the Senate President Saraki to take another wife because having just the one (Toyin) is obviously not philanthropic enough. What with all the money that they have to spend.

Which brings us to tragedy number three: Are these people seriously waking up each morning in those 200% of basic salary houses with all those inflated furnishings, driving to work in those SUVs maintained by 75% of their basic salary, newspapers, hardship, recess paid for only to trade these undignified vilifications in those supposedly hallowed chambers? On our collective resources?

As people relegated to "bottom feeder" status where our national wealth is concerned, we have shared some warm fuzzy moments of collective outrage over the extreme and callous wastefulness regarding the wages of politicians. Especially recently. The least they could do is pretend that there's something productive going on inside those rooms when the doors are shut.

But here we are, well aware because nobody respects the Polity enough to put up an act anymore - the silly boy is defecating in the village square. Or, more to the point, - in the Upper House. And instead of initiating his expulsion, Senator Melaye's antics are being laughed off as something not to be taken too seriously. He's only in the News after all, not something as "real" and damning as a Hollywood movie. People are fondly pointing to past incidences of domestic violence, rows with unacknowledged baby mamas that refused to remain unacknowledged, threats to kill senators who testified against Saraki, a clandestine tattoo removal procedure ( and here i support his decision to keep that private), coming to work in Babalawo attire ( that's just wasteful! How many times can he recycle that outfit) and they're saying he's just a bull in a China shop - no harm, no foul. So we let it slide. Until a foreigner commits to unforgivable offense of making reference to the barbaric conduct of Nigerian senators. Oh, then it's an issue.

hmmm. the problem especially disrespecting women stems from a deep flaw in our religious cum societal values that promote sort of male chauvinism. There have been a sustained campaign since ancient days against women which the religious leaders ,especially the western religions of Islam and Christianity , have helped engraved in our hearts and acts.
Men have even portrayed God as a powerful male personae only instead of the mother-father, or male-female representation that is fair to behold. The male folks who claimed to have heard the voice of God in his revelations which they put down in the holy books of western religions said God said women are second rate beings if we can correctly infer from the different submissions from the different chapters of these books. The ancient religious men were afraid of the power and influence of women which I'm not ready to discuss here, at least for now.
But like the mystic that he truly is, Christ Jesus, had very high regard for women and demonstrated this by having some as his disciples and enjoyed very close relationship with them. When he resurrected, weren't they the first to know?
We know that women are more refined in the cosmic scheme of things than men.
Nature is more often referred to as mother nature. Why? Most of us in our homes easily would testify to the protective, tender, caring, empathic, sensitive and sacrificial qualities or natures of our mothers rather than our fathers . That is nature in her true self. Without these female attributes, the world won't be worth living .
Women are the real soul of this world while men are the body; we need each other sincerely for a wholesome human existence, and until we raise men nurtured with the original truth about women,we may continue to experience these ignorant abuse of our very essence: women.

Babacele:
hmmm. the problem especially disrespecting women stems from a deep flaw in our religious cum societal values that promote sort of male chauvinism. There have been a sustained campaign since ancient days against women which the religious leaders ,especially the western religions of Islam and Christianity , have helped engraved in our hearts and acts.
Men have even portrayed God as a powerful male personae only instead of the mother-father, or male-female representation that is fair to behold. The male folks who claimed to have heard the voice of God in his revelations which they put down in the holy books of western religions said God said women are second rate beings if we can correctly infer from the different submissions from the different chapters of these books. The ancient religious men were afraid of the power and influence of women which I'm not ready to discuss here, at least for now.
But like the mystic that he truly is, Christ Jesus, had very high regard for women and demonstrated this by having some as his disciples and enjoyed very close relationship with them. When he resurrected, weren't they the first to know?
We know that women are more refined in the cosmic scheme of things than men.
Nature is more often referred to as mother nature. Why? Most of us in our homes easily would testify to the protective, tender, caring, empathic, sensitive and sacrificial qualities or natures of our mothers rather than our fathers . That is nature in her true self. Without these female attributes, the world won't be worth living .
Women are the real soul of this world while men are the body; we need each other sincerely for a wholesome human existence, and until we raise men nurtured with the original truth about, we may continue to experience these ignorant abuse of our very essence: women.

You are so on point!

RaggedyAnn:




You are so on point!

thanks ma.