I have ceased debating obvious things.... Most people argue to console themselves......
When you discover why women do not agree that they may not be attractive (even the Yoko onos of this world), then you'd understand why many "feminists" would not agree with this.....

bukatyne:


First, welcome back from your hiatus

The author is a upper mid-class white woman

I agree the economy and educational system doesn't favor marrying 'early' as advocated by the author and the husband extremely matters in this parts.

@ Topic: I am a staunch supporter of marriage before career... Career in this context is working to become a top shot in her industry. I don't see it happening over a long period of time to hold down marriage for.

It is not necessarily an upbringing thing. My mom esp. wanted me to work longer before marriage; I wondered why the wait

Thank you dear.
Nevertheless, if I lived in Nigeria, I would have considered it a much greater risk marrying early without a career or source of income or finishing school.
Feminists have laid down the ground work for women to be protected in the West. They can afford to have this discussion.
I consider early marriage to a Nigerian male especially living in Nigeria very high risk. He is protected by society to do as he pleases. Even if he gets punishment for a wrong doing, it is a pat on his back compared to the female. The position of the female in that marriage is determined by the whims of the man. A self sufficient female can afford to leave when he starts manifesting.
The marriage institution in Nigeria is not protected. Factors like brideprice in some ethnic groups already sets the tone for the position of the female in the marriage.
Before talking about early marriage, are Nigerian women protected in marriage per se? I think our discussion should be about institutionalizing policies to protect the female in marriage first. This would give her the opportunity to have an array of choices like her Western counterparts on whether she wants to marry early or not.

crackhaus:

Of course it has to be a black and white answer - you either regret motherhood OR you don't.
I know there might be times a woman may feel overwhelmed... but on the whole, what gives?

Or have you learnt the art of tactful manoeuvres from your friend Mindfulness?

Oga, you are once again assuming that word "motherhood" or even the circumstances of how one got to be there is the same for everyone. Not to mention, what the experiences are once one is in it.

I cannot give you a "yes" or "no" answer without divulging more than I want to in order to provide context.
But I can say, overall it has been interesting, enriching, frustrating, exhausting, overwhelming, surprising, funny, unpredictable, tears-inducing, painful, wondrous and fraught with revelations about life and myself. A roller coaster of emotions.

crackhaus:

This is how you described the writer.



Since you say she's a feminist suited to her own taste, it follows that she was a feminist because the entire article could not possibly be written by a hard-core feminist (it goes against everything feminism preaches).
Thus since she's a feminist, she most definitely is now reformed as seen in the article.

Pseudo-feminists are women who adopt feminist ideologies without a thorough understanding of its history, relevance, and core principles - This group litter this forum.

I hope you do not consider me a feminist or even the pseudo-feminists you allude to. I know next to nothing about feminism and even some of the people such as mindfulness that you have referred to on here as feminists whose opinions are largely in line with mine do not resonate with me as such. If we were to look for label for our sort of ideology, the word would be "Humanist".
https://humanism.org.uk/humanism/

How dare you? You want to emasculate the men. Hmm hmm?

Stillfire:


Thank you dear.
Nevertheless, if I lived in Nigeria, I would have considered it a much greater risk marrying early without a career or source of income or finishing school.
Feminists have laid down the ground work for women to be protected in the West. They can afford to have this discussion.
I consider early marriage to a Nigerian male especially living in Nigeria very high risk. He is protected by society to do as he pleases. Even if he gets punishment for a wrong doing, it is a pat on his back compared to the female. The position of the female in that marriage is determined by the whims of the man. A self sufficient female can afford to leave when he starts manifesting.
The marriage institution in Nigeria is not protected. Factors like brideprice in some ethnic groups already sets the tone for the position of the female in the marriage.
Before talking about early marriage, are Nigerian women protected in marriage per se? I think our discussion should be about institutionalizing policies to protect the female in marriage first. This would give her the opportunity to have an array of choices like her Western counterparts on whether she wants to marry early or not.

shaybebaby:

Oga, you are once again assuming that word "motherhood" or even the circumstances of how one got to be there is the same for everyone. Not to mention, what the experiences are once one is in it.

I cannot give you a "yes" or "no" answer without divulging more than I want to in order to provide context.
But I can say, overall it has been interesting, enriching, frustrating, exhausting, overwhelming, surprising, funny, unpredictable, tears-inducing, painful, wondrous and fraught with revelations about life and myself. A roller coaster of emotions.

I get the roller coaster of emotions summary.

Thanks for the response...or not.

shaybebaby:


I hope you do not consider me a feminist or even the pseudo-feminists you allude to. I know next to nothing about feminism and even some of the people such as mindfulness that you have referred to on here as feminists whose opinions are largely in line with mine do not resonate with me as such. If we were to look for label for our sort of ideology, the word would be "Humanist".
https://humanism.org.uk/humanism/

Got it.

Humanism or egalitarianism - these are better and much more honourable ideologies to support when one isn't trying to be all about self...if you get what I mean.

crackhaus:

Blehhhhhhh...

You that cant answer simple question about how big and round your yansh is, in-tune with her sexuality?

Tell me the truth, you don't feel very beautiful...do you?

I feel very old and ugly.

There are no rules to these things,it would simply depend on the station in life a lady finds herself. Everyone's life story won't be the same. We can only hope for the best as God has the best plans for us.

Mindfulness:


I feel very old and ugly.

Lol..

Freecocoa why are you following me upandan. Stop stalking me. Abi na you dey nightwatch duty for area today?

Timbuktou:
Freecocoa why are you following me upandan. Stop stalking me. Abi na you dey nightwatch duty for area oday?

Lol.

I wan know who dey lurk by this time na, so no blame me, I been think say na thief.

freecocoa:
Lol.

I wan know who dey lurk by this time na, so no blame me, I been think say na thief.

Dem done miss road. Who put you for watch duty? I go kidnap you.

Timbuktou:


Dem done miss road. Who put you for watch duty? I go kidnap you.

if I hear say you fit, hmm, you don't know me o.

freecocoa:
if I hear say you fit, hmm, you don't know me o.

I pity you. Na touch and follow tins. Nobody has been touched that didn't follow. Effective juju since 1836. As a yoruba boy, I know the correct ones to apply.

Timbuktou:


I pity you. Na touch and follow tins. Nobody has been touched that didn't follow. Effective juju since 1836. As a yoruba boy, I know the correct ones to apply.

If only juju works on me, not to even mention the fact that as an igbo girl, amadioha is steady on my case, no just try me.

freecocoa:
If only juju works on me, not to even mention the fact that as an igbo girl, amadioha is steady on my case, no just try me.

Multitudes before you said the very same thing. Today, they are beneficiaries of my "largess". Besides, I've got Sango Olukoso to back me up. I fight thunder with thunder.

Timbuktou:


I pity you. Na touch and follow tins. Nobody has been touched that didn't follow. Effective juju since 1836. As a yoruba boy, I know the correct ones to apply.

Bruv wire me some of dat juju abeg. I don tire to dey chyke. But some of these babes eh, their head strong.

BoboYekini:
Bruv wire me some of dat juju abeg. I don tire to dey chyke. But some of these babes eh, their head strong.

No wahala. Just wire some dough to my paypal and I'll hook you up with Baba Familusi at Ikire. Dem no born any geh well. She go follow you climb mountain if na your wish be dat..

Timbuktou:


No wahala. Just wire some dough to my paypal and I'll hook you up with Baba Familusi at Ikire. Dem no born any geh well. She go follow you climb mountain if na your wish be dat..

Try am ontop Freecocoa first. Make we see the efficacy

BoboYekini:
Try am ontop Freecocoa first. Make we see the efficacy

She's in my lungu as we speak. . She won't be able to speak for a few hours.

Timbuktou:


She's in my lungu as we speak. . She won't be able to speak for a few hours.

I believe you bruv. Please be gentle with her.

BoboYekini:
I believe you bruv. Please be gentle with her.

Aye, aye, cap'n. I'll be gentle. She's proven tender so far..

Timbuktou:



Multitudes before you said the very same thing. Today, they are beneficiaries of my "largess". Besides, I've got Sango Olukoso to back me up. I fight thunder with thunder.

I recognise empty talk when I see it. Sango got nothing on amadioha.

freecocoa:
I recognise empty talk when I see it. Sango got nothing on amadioha.

Amadioha dey drink raw palm oil? Don't talk about my uncle anyhow o.

Timbuktou:


Amadioha dey drink raw palm oil? Don't talk about my uncle anyhow o.

Me dey even drink am, talk more of amadioha wey dey chop iron, niccur don't mess with that.

I just dey look you and that yeye BoboYekini, una no know who una jam.

freecocoa:


Me dey even drink am, talk more of amadioha wey dey chop iron, niccur don't mess with that.

I just dey look you and that yeye BoboYekini, una no know who una jam.

See mouth. You were "singing" a different tune just hours ago. I understand you have to project a certain image. It's alright as long as you know who your daddy is

Timbuktou:


See mouth. You were "singing" a different tune just hours ago. I understand you have to project a certain image. It's alright as long as you know who your daddy is

Make him catch you first.

I will come back later and comment

Marriage before Career abeg, b4 u hit menopause because of career and ambition, as if it's Ambition that would give u grandchildren & call u Mummy, shine Ya eye

Each to his own. These are personal decisions. We don't always have to interfere or give advices on issues like this. What works for A might not work for B. It is better one knows what one wants. There is nothing better than " self discovery" in issues as this.