(1) Prepare yourselves and talk to each other: Most
people want to sleep with people who are kind,
happy, funny, physically attractive – whatever
made you fancy each other in the first place.
Hopefully, you still tick each other’s boxes – no,
that’s not a euphemism. Tell them they are the
bee’s knees. Tell them again. Keep telling them.
This is important.

(2) Forget spontaneity: Happy, gorgeous couples
getting it on in unlikely and exotic locations are
fictional or on reality TV. You need to plan this
stuff in the same way that a trip to the shops
with a newborn looks like you’re off on
holiday. Ignore all the well-intentioned
nonsense about how sex shouldn’t be a habit. It
really, really should become a habit – a good
one.

(3) If you want spontaneity – and can afford it –
leave. Together, obviously. Get someone who
likes fish fingers and Andy Day from CBeebies
to look after your kids for a weekend and go
somewhere on your own. You can get plastered
and remember what it feels like to snog each
other drunkenly. Hopefully, it feels nice. You
might even have sex. Possibly not in a bed.

(4) Go to bed together: There’s no point whingeing
that you don’t have sex if you don’t put
yourselves in the same place at the same time.
That means actually going to bed at the same
time. There’s nothing more dispiriting than
waiting hopefully in the sack while someone’s
still downstairs de-fleaing the dog.

(5) Fit locks on the bedroom door: There’s nothing
worse for a flagging libido than the sound of
tiny feet approaching.

(6) Set the, ahem, love alarm: OK, so the heady days
of morning sex seem like a long time ago. But,
with a bit of willpower, you can bring them
back. Wake up half an hour earlier and
embrace the quickie.

(7) Distraction: An hour of the Clangers on a
Saturday morning while you and your other
half lag the pipes upstairs in the loft – yes, that
is a euphemism – is totally appropriate for the
sake of your relationship.

( If all else fails , remember the joy of snogging: If
anyone’s feeling a bit self-conscious about her
post-baby body or having eaten nothing but
takeaways since the nipper turned up, and can’t
cope any more, just have a fumble.


https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/jul/23/eight-ways-to-protect-your-sex-life-from-the-children