[b]MY NAME IS AYO AND WHAT ELSE CAN I SAY?

Welcome to The Land of No Return

My Bad, Sorry Welcome to My Life Story

In case you find any typo error, do yourself a huge favor and just ignore it if not, I'd find you and I'd kill you!



Lol. Just Kidding!
_______________________________________

EPISODE 1


I opened the door and guess who i saw? Her!
I'm guessing you don't know who "Her" is by now. Okay.
She spread out her arms and i don't know maybe it was actually a reflex but i found myself leaning in to give her a hug, next thing she was caressing my back and down she went for seconds until i felt her hands on my "Johnny".
I must confess, Johnny was very annoyed ... She pulled her gown and then her bra & panties followed suit. She was all over me, i was grabbing what I've never grabbed before in my life.
At that point,
"Konji na bastard" was the exact thought flashed in my mind.
She took my hand and placed it into something that felt warm...

Jeez! You guys are spoiling me right now, it's already turning into a Sex story.

I'd just keep the details of that scene to myself, i leave you guys to imagine that yourselves.

We were almost going deep into the main ish when the feeling i got next was "PAIN" in form of a slap.

For my mind,i was like " Wetin dey do this girl, why she dey slap me again?"

I shouted, "Stop it jare!"

And then i heard my Mom's voice shouting "Ayo!".
Still in the dream i told the girl that i shouldn't insert it now because my Mom is back.
Again i heard "Back from where? Ayo! Ki lo mu yo?!" ,that was my Mom talking again, three more slaps followed before i realized i was actually dreaming the whole time.

Omo no be small thing oh, my trouser was wet.She asked what was the "white stuff" on my trouser i said it was the Garri & milk i drank that stained my trouser then she asked me to go wash the plates in the Kitchen.


While i was doing the dishes, my eyes were almost flooded, 4 Random thoughts came to mind

"Why this Woman come spoil person sleep sef "

"Abi this people wan use dream get me ni? Thank God sey e no work"

"But mey i no lie that girl Hot oh"

"Why that Karishika no kuku do the thing fast sef ?! Make i kuku know sey i do the thing even if dey wan get me"


For those wondering, all of that happened within the period of 6pm-8pm.
Went into my room, browsed through my phone, opened Whatsapp, closed Whatsapp, opened Instagram, browsed through a few pages and then i decided to check my DM and you wouldn't believe what i saw....

[/b]

I don spread mat wit my bottle of kunu 2 sip....oya,now continue..

following "

[b]EPISODE 2

Your guess is right!
A girl sent me an nude picture, my head don swell after seeing it then i started a conversation with her.

Me: What was that for?

Girl: Don't you like it?

Me: (I be gay ni..Why i no go like am?! ) Yeah i did
Me: So what's the name babe?

Girl: Bella Wealth

Me: (Shuu, wealth na name? ) Oh that's a lovely name.


Meanwhile while i was having this convo with this Chic, i was having a convo with another Chic and that one was moving pretty smooth just like this one was until the Wealth girl asked me to send her N1,000 airtime so she would call me.
I "literally" took my life savings and went out to get the airtime for her and i sent to her.
I was like ;

Me: So baby have you seen it?

Bella: Yes Sweetie, Thanks a bunch.

Me:Ok.. So here's my number 081+++++9111

The next thing i saw was "Error, this message cannot be sent"
For my mind i was like "Shey IG dey craze ni?" Tried sending it multiple times, got the same response. Open the girl's IG page and then it dawned on me that I've been scammed!

Jeez! I couldn't believe it myself, i turned Mugu because of ordinary picture. I sent another message with so much anger boiling inside of me that i couldn't see who i was sending the message to..

Me: Fvck You! (I was surprised the message delivered)

Rebecca(The Other Chic): Excuse me?!

Me: Oh Sweerie, sorry that wasn't meant for you.


I apologized to the other chic, got her contact that night and i called her and we got talking through-out the night and i figured out Rebecca was actually O.B.O(Omo Baba Olowo) ,i was already making a list of benefits I'd get if i make this girl my babe I went to bed around 1am or so.....[/b]

I don land

Where dem 'Vaseline crew' food dn land for una o. We must reach the promise land.. Op fire dy go!!

[b]I need critics oh, all of you show face oh

Classcaptain, Niwdog(m), Maxfuture, Chidizman(m), sooklevah(m), reachycul(m), amijid2012(m), chuckdee4(m), Evergreen4(m), Omogbenusola(m), funshore(m), jmadebayo(m), herzukka(m), tomisinobbm, teewai3(m), corruptst(m), Anugod(f), halexito(m)
zirizee, Ayameze2015(m), Joskiro50, tegak10, tejiriorukpe, Tredz, charlie42(m), facebuker2goer(m), Chano, emmanuel90(m), naijacarlovers, hotswagg12, haruna1970(m), dsylvo(m), puntmaniac, funkyfella,
Babsopey(m), estheremma(f), SweetieConstie(f), cocolacec(m), Smellymouth, TDonald, akinalabi(m), hotspec(m), queenfav(f), gypsey(m), fanficgirl(f), SammyGyang(m), shammah1(m), olac21(m), sophietosyneabou(f), Bukkiminat(f), nikky5(m), krisbobo(m), ettaetta(m), Dygeasy(m), Damstarr(f), Fweshspice(m), Berlyn(f), Wulfruna(f), ErnieSmallzz(f), phameous(f), Prechicliff(f), ivyy(f), xendra(f), Michellla(f), warrah(m), Onezie(f), Vivy25(f), ramarama, juhan(f), donamen(m), linconoyee, oge93(f), Elkewwty(f), Bukiminaj(f), Julietcutie(f), SamuelAnyawu(m), Enoquin(f), Itzjoy(f), Iphekitan(m), snakie86, iamrealdeji(m), Oliviaarims(f), Opeade939(f), oglalasioux(m), Ayodejioak(m), seunEsq(m), sheobserves(f), lewalee(f), ogalawyer(m), Boeing777pilot, rotexteymie(f), ardel(f), jaylicioussss(f), Mimido2(f), Naijasinglegirl, Kaycee625(m), cutemaria(f), ellacute45(f), Eleniyan15(m), ZenaSTORY(f), firstking01(m), MrCork, thatsincerechic(f), olamide452(f), Seun(m), LBlessing(f), Gingerr(f), omolola15(m), Osquare88(m), Okaakoko(m), refiner(f), Iamsynord(m), theyrynsolar(f), andra112(f), prisiluv(f), Ay04z(m), koredeeniola(f), didirelly(f), enellcy(f), yuzed(f), corisande(f), lasisi69(m), shantelrandy(f), HyDef(m), Abbotbaba(m), flawlessT(f), repogirl(f), milinda(f), Jessidaisy4(f), Pritycrystal(f), Bbsharon(f), sexiestchic(f), Stephansmily(f), demoiselle(f), temzybabe(f), Uniqueness01(f), candycrush(f), orijintv(m), chochovie(f), Joygalore(f), spiro4real(f), rufdan(m), shona2487(f), giftalways(f), JESUSBOIY, Krystalluv, 123CarZ(m), jtina(f), shirley26(f)[/b]

[b]EPISODE 3

Woke up the next morning in a very bad mood, you wanna know why i was in a bad mood? The answer is simple, because i didn't dream atall talk less of seeing that "Karishika" again.
Being that i slept 1am, i woke up 7am. Yes! It's true that I just lied! Which work i wan go do wey i go wake up 7am? I woke up few minutes after 10am if i can recall correctly. Everyone was out already so i did a few house chores, went into the bathroom to take shower,made breakfast, ate then i dashed out of the house to a friend's place since my house was "drier" than the Sahara desert.
Found my friend in his shop, so i decided to chill there with him..

Me: Swagzy Swagzy! (His real name : Samuel)

Sam: You don smoke abi?!

Me: Wetin happen nah

Sam: Wetin you go tell Yetunde yesterday?!

Me: Shey na that one dey do you ni? I find you come your house and na wetin you wan use welcome person be this?

Sam: Wetin you expect before, you wan drink wine?

Me: (I knew he was whyning me so i played along) No. I go prefer 2 Holy spirit.

Sam: You don't want 1 Carton ni?

Me: Guy , it's okay, kuku tell person sey you broke!
Abeg bring cup mey i drink garri jare!

Sam: Now you're talking!

Me: Oya buy groundnut & milk for me

Sam: You well so?

I ended up buying the groudnut & milk, the baga went to take spoon that looked like shovel. I gave the eye, he dropped it quickly.
We were discussing about how i was scammed the other day when a girl passed. Omo this girl no be here! See beauty! The girl looked at me for a few seconds meanwhile i still had garri stains all over my mouth, i quickly cleaned my mouth and went to meet this girl.
Meanwhile, i forgot to mention this but last night after i was scammed, i started doing research online about PUA stuffs and i learnt a lot so i decided to test out a few with this girl. I shouted

Me: Hey Stop! You don't expect me to be chasing you, do you?

Girl: I'm sorry, do i know you?

Me: No, you don't but i know how bad you'd feel if you didn't.(With a Bahd guy Smirk on my face)

Girl: Okay?(surprised)

Me: Anyways, I'm in a hurry right now,I'm Ayo & You are?

Girl: Stella

Me: Stella? Too bad!

Stella: What happened?

Me: There was this Stella i knew back then, she was a really bad kisser so i ended the relationship with her, i hope you ain't that bad yourself?

Stella: (Giggling) Not at all!

Me: Alright, you sound you've got a fun personality. Here,( i handed her my phone) type in your number, dial it so you'd have my number.

Stella: Alright, no problem.

I got the Stella's number, went back walking like a BadAss MotherFvcker! Samuel was just screaming "Show me the way nau?!" . I had a couple more shots of Garri, I even noticed my Garri had reduced and i Knew Samuel finally accomplished his mission with his shovel but i was too Overwhelmed to bother about that Lol. And then i headed back home,
On my back home, i saw who i didn't want to see at that moment...









[/b]

I don Land !! Whr My Vaseline Brothers at ? Classcaptain oo

Lol Shea Baddest!! Op you bad sha!!! But KWANTINUE!!!

Should i follow?

Nice one, bt I doubt it, dis would end up in d sexuality section

JESUSBOIY:
Should i follow?

NO NAO! Nah JESUSBOY u b nao, come the go church u no suppose follow.

Okay, let's see how it goes here
Op, nice one ¡¡¡

Following

If it's rili going to be sexual in nature lyk ur title suggest, guess this should be in the sexuality section.

Ride on