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When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) - Literature (4) - Nairaland

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Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by bibijay123(f): 9:17pm On Aug 06, 2016
Opeoluwa99:
Wonderful
Your stories are awesome

*Muahh* to where or who or what you get your inspiration from

.thank you kiss
Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by Nobody: 9:34pm On Aug 06, 2016
BIBIJAY123!! I doff my hat... respekt!

1 Like

Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by SPDAZZY(f): 9:35pm On Aug 06, 2016
I enjoyed every bit of this. Lots of lessons:

A failed courtship is way better than a failed marriage.

Some men of God though

3 Likes 3 Shares

Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by bibijay123(f): 9:38pm On Aug 06, 2016
slyIsaac:
BIBIJAY123!! I doff my heart... respekt!


Thank you bro kiss
Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by Darnyel: 10:21pm On Aug 06, 2016
bibijay123:



Its only two episodes boo. I want to hear various views before i post the concluding part

You are a mesmerizing writer. Doff hat for you. You need to commercialize this already. More power to your elbow, ink to your pen and agility to your fingers. embarassed

1 Like 1 Share

Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by Emeka71(m): 10:21pm On Aug 06, 2016
bibijay123:



Completed.
I enjoyed the story.
Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by Emeka71(m): 10:21pm On Aug 06, 2016
bibijay123:



Completed.
I enjoyed the story.
Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by bibijay123(f): 11:02pm On Aug 06, 2016
Emeka71:
I enjoyed the story.

Thanks. Check out Allen Avenue and Devil has the money grin
Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by bibijay123(f): 11:04pm On Aug 06, 2016
Darnyel:


You are a mesmerizing writer. Doff hat for you. You need to commercialize this already. More power to your elbow, ink to your pen and agility to your fingers. embarassed



Thank you boss ...you made my night grin
Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by Nitefury: 11:27pm On Aug 06, 2016
Cc bibijay123

One word: Disjointed

You started beautifully, and had your readers attention after the first update. I'll give you an "A" for the intro, delivery and suspense there.

But unfortunately, I do believe (the mod) rushing the story to the front page just after the first update was your undoing. This is because your subsequent updates were obviously not thought-out, but hurriedly done (probably to satisfy the readers thirst for updates). Hence, your story lacked a coherent sequence and connection.

A little more effort and time would have seen you give us a better story than this. Thanks.

3 Likes

Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by bibijay123(f): 11:42pm On Aug 06, 2016
Nitefury:
Cc bibijay123

One word: Disjointed

You started beautifully, and had your readers attention after the first update. I'll give you an "A" for the intro, delivery and suspense there.

But unfortunately, I do believe (the mod) rushing the story to the front page just after the first update was your undoing. This is because your subsequent updates were obviously not thought-out, but hurriedly done (probably to satisfy the readers thirst for updates). Hence, your story lacked a coherent sequence and connection.

A little more effort and time would have seen you give us a better story than this. Thanks.



OK bro. Thank you.....i appreciate.
Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by Nobody: 1:52am On Aug 07, 2016
Short and sweet

You're a helluva writer Bibijay123 cheesy

1 Like 1 Share

Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by gboly3190(m): 3:06pm On Aug 07, 2016
Nitefury:
Cc bibijay123

One word: Disjointed

You started beautifully, and had your readers attention after the first update. I'll give you an "A" for the intro, delivery and suspense there.

But unfortunately, I do believe (the mod) rushing the story to the front page just after the first update was your undoing. This is because your subsequent updates were obviously not thought-out, but hurriedly done (probably to satisfy the readers thirst for updates). Hence, your story lacked a coherent sequence and connection.

A little more effort and time would have seen you give us a better story than this. Thanks.

Nitefury you so on point
Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by johnwizey: 10:48pm On Aug 07, 2016
Just finished reading the story. Bibi is one terrific writer and you av bein hiding all dese while. Now pitching my tent with Allen Avenue, nice one miss

1 Like 1 Share

Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by buoye1(m): 12:26pm On Aug 08, 2016
ClinicalHope:
Bibi please post the continuation today. I can't wait to find out what happened next. I love your stories! Thumbs up!
But ma, why quote the whole story? You're making the whole thing difficult
Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by ClinicalHope(f): 4:26pm On Aug 08, 2016
buoye1:
But ma, why quote the whole story? You're making the whole thing difficult
I'm sorry I don't understand what you are talking about. what did I make difficult?
Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by rachealfst(f): 1:57am On Aug 09, 2016
Nice story, thanks for sharing.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by fairygeh(f): 9:25am On Aug 10, 2016
bibijay123:
* Continues*

A Year Later

Micheal dragged his pregnant wife out of his apartment. Wh0re! he went back inside to bring out her Echolac boxes and flung them out. He had been having an affair with her for almost of the two years he was engaged to Amaka and she decided to hook him with pregnancy immediately he called off his engagement. She was just like the rest of them, they don't know when to keep their mouth shut and they were not submissive enough.

Silvia picked up her bags crying. She wondered why Pastor had asked her to marry this monster. In the first few months of their marriage he had taken to giving her a back hand slap or two but it slowly escalated into blows and Punch's. She had become a prisoner in her matrimonial home, she wasn't allowed to visit even her own parents or talk to anyone both at church and at home. Micheal came out of the apartment angrily and pushed her to the ground.

" What are you still doing here!? " He dragged her on the ground towards the gate. He took hold of her silk nightie and tore it into two. She had dared to invite her friend to his house, she had flaunted his orders and he was done with her.

" Musa! Open the gate ". He bellowed.

Musa hurriedly opened the gate and Micheal threw her outside and ordered Musa to lock the gate. Some good Samaritan gave Silvia a wrapper to cover herself and she trekked to her pastor' s office. He was writing his sermon for Sunday when she barged into his office.

" What happened Sister Silvia? he did this to you again? " the woman before him was the shadow of his beautiful secretary. He had encouraged her to Marry Bro Micheal so that he would still be a member of his church. He had been afraid he would marry from another church so he had encouraged Silvia when he failed to use Amaka to keep him in his church.

Silvia slumped on the floor crying, he tried to lift her up but shrank back in fright when he saw blood rushing down her thighs. He rushed out of the office to hail a taxi. When he rushed back in with the cabbie Silvia' s stiff body was in her pool of blood. The cabbie checked her pulse and ran out of the office. No way he would put a dead body into his cab.


***************************************************

Amaka walked into her new spacious office. She had been promoted after giving a wonderful presentation.The foreign investors were so impressed and continued clapping long after she had finished her presentation. Who said you can't cope with motherhood and a career. You can! when you have a loving and a supportive husband. She picked up the framed photograph on her desk smiling. She looked so beautiful in her wedding gown, Johnson stood beside her carrying Rose in his arms while Jason held her hand grinning. She felt blessed. Yes she was blessed. Johnson had moved back to Nigeria and started his law firm.Her pastor had called her some days ago to tell her Micheal was cooling his heels in the prison for the murder of his wife Silvia.

Silvia' s uncle, an army general was pulling every string he could to make sure Micheal rots in prison. The pastor had even apologized to her and she had forgiven him. She prays Micheal get a second chance. Her IPhone rang and she smiled when she saw who the caller was.

" Baby am picking you for lunch "

She smiled. Johnson was always picking her up for lunch when she could easily grab a bite at the company cafeteria. She placed her hand on tummy. a new life was growing inside her, she marveled at how wonderful God is.

" Hmmn big boy, You are spoiling me o."

He laughed heartily." If i don't spoil my baby, who will?". They both laughed again." Baby my mom want Rose and Jason to spend the weekend with her, i love our kids but it would be nice to have the bed all to ourselves this week."

Amaka laughed again. Johnson' s mother was a very sweet lady and she dotes on both kids.

" See you soon Amie love".

" See ya baby ".


The end.

P.s check out my other stories, The devil has the money and Allen Avenue. I welcome your criticism as it would make me a better writer.


Thank you all!

Lovely story.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by kaakaa1(m): 7:23pm On Aug 16, 2016
Your stories are Always Gooood and teach lessons at the end! God Bless Bibijay123 for Blessing pur hearts with her wonderful stories.....

1 Like 1 Share

Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by detutu1: 9:02pm On Aug 16, 2016
bibijay123:
Amaka was a beautiful and classy christian lady who had everything going for her. A job in a top shot company with her own office and personal assistant. Her major and only flaw was her dictatorial fiance .Micheal. He was a business man and a choir master in the church they both attended. Her few friends wonder what she saw in him, he dictates what she wears, how she wears them, her friends are not good enough he always says. He finds fault with every thing she does. One fateful evening, Micheal called her and informed her of a three day crusade going on in his neighborhood. She told him she was tired maybe she would attend it tomorrow

Micheal insisted that she should get dressed and come, knowing how persistent he could be she grumpily agreed to attend the crusade that evening.

She quickly showered and got dressed. She picked her car keys and headed out. On the way her car broke down.

She checked her wrist watch and saw that the time was 7.30 pm. She came down from the car and checked the bonnet of the car but couldn't seem to know what was wrong with it. She attempted to re _start the car several times but got frustrated and came out of the car slamming the door angrily.


She stood looking at the car. The car had chosen to break down in a remote area leading to her fiance' s hood. There was no one around she could ask for help so she decided to take a short cut route.

She called Micheal to inform him of the unfortunate development and he advised her to take the short cut route.

She ended the call and was about to walk towards the route when she paused. She thought she heard a sound. She became scared and was about to break into a run when she heard the sound again. This time it was clearer. She stood rooted to the spot in shock unable to believe what she just heard. She mentally willed her legs to move but they refused to comply.

She saw herself moving towards the sound. Its force was greater than her strength, she wanted to flee and put it all behind her. She wanted to pretend she didn't just hear the cry of a baby but the sound of that little helpless voice like a magnet drew her towards the little bush it was coming from.


She walked further, almost breaking into a run following the sound of the little voice. She saw something wrapped in a rags laying in a cartoon. She gently lifted the bundle into her arms. Afraid she might drop him or her.

She looked around but there was no one in sight. She gently placed the bundle on her shoulder and walked as fast as her legs could carry her to Micheal ' s house.

All the way there she wondered if she was doing the right thing. She knew nothing about babies, she doesn't even know who the one she held belonged to or why the mother dumped the poor thing in the first place. A sudden dark thought popped into her head and she tried desperately to push it back to where ever it had come from. What if she was arrested and accused of murdering the mother and stealing the baby. No that's just too dark a thought.


The gateman opened the gate for her, looking at the child sleeping soundly on her shoulder with curiosity shining in his eyes but he dared not ask. Speaking or even thinking of speaking to his boss' s woman would be the end of his employment.


He opened the gate for her and went back to his little room. Amaka was about to search for Micheal 's keys in her handbag when she remembered that she had left them at home. She thought of asking the gate man if he had a spare key. Just the thought of it sent a chill down her spine. Micheal would have a fit if he knows she dallied (his word)with his help.


She brought out her phone and sent him text messages. Asking him to hurry back that she was at his place. She waited for his reply but when none came, she dialed his number, she heard it rang for some minutes before she saw number busy on the screen of her phone.


The baby whimpered and she patted it on the back. She sat down on the door steps and waited for her Fiance to come. He would know what to do.


At 9.30 pm, Micheal drove in to the compound. She kept up happily. He would do the right thing she thought. He knows the right steps to be taken in this situation.

She walks towards him but stopped short at the expression on his face as he stepped out of the car. She didn't give him a chance. She hurriedly told him what happened.

He looked at her like she had grown four heads. He walked towards her, and she stepped back in fright. " Take that thing back to wherever you picked it from!" She didn't understand. She thought maybe she didn't hear him well but he continued angrily " Take that filthy thing in your hand back to whoever you picked it from or we are done!"


She couldn't believe her ears. How could he be so cruel and unfeeling, she knew he never made an idle threat. She was 34, all her siblings are happily married with kids. She couldn't afford to do anything to jeopardize her relationship with Micheal.

She was torn. She could easily race back and dump the baby where she picked him from or she could try to help the baby and then what? She owe this child nothing! She wants to be addressed as a Mrs too but what did the bible say about helping others?

Micheal walked past her almost knocking her down. He opened his door and slammed it heavily the sound woke the sleeping baby. The poor thing cried out loud. Amaka stood there uncertain what to do next. To take the baby back to the dump or try to help and risk losing Micheal?


Story continues......


Hello Bibijay123

I love the ease with which you write your stories wink, you seem to have a lot of short stories.
Ever considered making money doing what you love doing?

Register as a writer on penpee.com. You do not have to be a professional writer,our editors will vet before publication. Some of our editors have worked for top media houses in the UK, USA and in Nigeria.

Once you post it on our website (www.penpee.com)and is verified by our team; you get paid each time a new person reads a chapter of your story cheesy

This means you can invite friends to read your story in Penpee.com and get paid for each view!

Writers can withdraw their accumulated credits into their PayPal or any bank account in Nigeria, or anywhere else in the world.

Register for free today!
Every member is awarded welcome credits, they can be accumulated over time or purchased. Credits earned are used to read online stories.

Anyone can join as a writer, once you possess the skill and present authentic stories.

Go ahead now and join www.penpee.com to start reading and posting your own short stories.

NEW!!! All writers receive $10 on their first published chapter...isn't that amazing cheesy

Be in touch with Penpee wink
We are available online 24/7 or you can reach us at support@penpee.com

1 Like

Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by bibijay123(f): 10:23pm On Aug 16, 2016
detutu1:



Hello Bibijay123

I love the ease with which you write your stories wink, you seem to have a lot of short stories. Ever considered making money doing what you love doing?

Send a draft of your first chapter to support@penpee.com. You do not have to be a professional writer,our editors will vet before publication. Some of our editors have worked for top media houses in the UK, USA and in Nigeria.

Once your story has been verified, we post it on our website (www.penpee.com) and you get paid each time a new person reads a chapter of your story cheesy

This means you can invite friends to read your story in Penpee.com and get paid for each view!

Writers can withdraw their accumulated credits into their PayPal or any bank account in Nigeria, or anywhere else in the world.

Register for free today!
Every member is awarded welcome credits, they can be accumulated over time or purchased. Credits earned are used to read online stories.

Anyone can join as a writer, once you possess the skill and present authentic stories.

Go ahead now and join www.penpee.com to start reading and posting your own short stories.

Be in touch with Penpee wink
We are available online 24/7 or you can reach us at support@penpee.com


Hi. Thank you grin
Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by iomoge2(f): 5:56am On Aug 17, 2016
detutu1:


I love the ease with which you write your stories wink, you seem to have a lot of short stories. Ever considered making money doing what you love doing?

Send a draft of your first chapter to support@penpee.com. You do not have to be a professional writer,our editors will vet before publication. Some of our editors have worked for top media houses in the UK, USA and in Nigeria.

Once your story has been verified, we post it on our website (www.penpee.com) and you get paid each time a new person reads a chapter of your story cheesy

This means you can invite friends to read your story in Penpee.com and get paid for each view!

Writers can withdraw their accumulated credits into their PayPal or any bank account in Nigeria, or anywhere else in the world.

Register for free today!
Every member is awarded welcome credits, they can be accumulated over time or purchased. Credits earned are used to read online stories.

Anyone can join as a writer, once you possess the skill and present authentic stories.

Go ahead now and join www.penpee.com to start reading and posting your own short stories.

Be in touch with Penpee wink
We are available online 24/7 or you can reach us at support@penpee.com

Cc
Tiffanyj
Godmother

2 Likes

Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by Godmother(f): 6:36am On Aug 17, 2016
iomoge2:


Cc
Tiffanyj
Godmother

Thanks cappo. I scanned the site yesterday but didn't have the time to fully go through. Will do that today.
Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by TiffanyJ(f): 8:40am On Aug 17, 2016
iomoge2:


Cc
Tiffanyj
Godmother
Iomoge2 thank you for the mention.

1 Like

Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by Nmaglit: 8:56am On Aug 17, 2016
A short and educating story wow always follow ur heart no matter what


Bibi na u biko

1 Like 1 Share

Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by detutu1: 8:06pm On Aug 19, 2016
bibijay123:



Hi. Thank you grin

You are welcome. Kindly register on penpee.com as a writer and start making money. Looking forward to having you on board! wink
Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by bibijay123(f): 8:21pm On Aug 19, 2016
detutu1:


You are welcome. Kindly register on penpee.com as a writer and start making money. Looking forward to having you on board! wink

I sent a draft of my story BT m yet to register. Will do so.thanks.
Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by Queenoma(f): 10:01am On Sep 01, 2016
Bibi u sha ve a good head on ur shoulder cheesy
With ur stories, my holiday won't be boring anymore grin
Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by bibijay123(f): 2:21pm On Sep 01, 2016
Queenoma:
Bibi u sha ve a good head on ur shoulder cheesy
With ur stories, my holiday won't be boring anymore grin


Awww u just like making my head swell oya chop kiss kiss

1 Like

Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by niyot124: 8:46pm On Sep 01, 2016
Your story is such an inspiration...


God bless you.

1 Like

Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by Nobody: 10:45pm On Sep 16, 2016
Good write up. I'm salivating for more. I've read Allen Avenue and The Devil has the Money.

1 Like

Re: When Tears Brings Yes ( A Short Story) by RUKKYPRINCESS: 1:37am On Sep 17, 2016
Thank you so much

1 Like

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