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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Poems For Review / Before I Self Destruct (no Invitation) (871 Views)
Before I Self Destruct (psycho) / Before I Self-destruct (hold Me Down) / Before I Self Destruct (then Days Went By) (2) (3) (4)
Before I Self Destruct (no Invitation) by JigsawKillah(m): 3:36pm On Aug 05, 2016 |
You came, you saw, you left With chains, you brought me death You are guilty from all indications Because you came with no invitation A year ago, my pockets were fat My neck bore lockets and cash Thoughts pure with no distillation Until you came with no invitation We played, we talked, we fought 'We're mates', subconscious thought It too fell for your dictation Although you came with no invitation We kissed, we sexed, we fight You hissed, I'm vexed, you're right 'We' have no destination And you came with no invitation I hate I loved you, Lady I hate my love ain't fading I need you back in my station You can come with no invitation ©Jigs 7 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: Before I Self Destruct (no Invitation) by SalomonKane: 6:03pm On Aug 05, 2016 |
Not bad dude. Your theme keep changing from disappointment to lovelorn and heartbreak then to pleading. Your rhyme scheme doesn't follow any particular pattern, it's erratic and your lines enjabbed into each other. Still nice work. Keep it up. 1 Like |
Re: Before I Self Destruct (no Invitation) by timpaker(m): 6:09pm On Aug 05, 2016 |
Is 'Before I self destruct' a collection of poems? Because I read some which theme centers on love, sex and hate here. |
Re: Before I Self Destruct (no Invitation) by JigsawKillah(m): 11:32pm On Aug 05, 2016 |
timpaker: it is a collection. 15 more to come 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Before I Self Destruct (no Invitation) by JigsawKillah(m): 11:34pm On Aug 05, 2016 |
SalomonKane: I though think the rhymes are perfect as can be. you're right about the theme, but the main thing is that even after everything, I still want her back. thanks 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Before I Self Destruct (no Invitation) by SalomonKane: 11:52pm On Aug 05, 2016 |
JigsawKillah:Oh really. So can you identify the rhyme scheme for me please? |
Re: Before I Self Destruct (no Invitation) by JigsawKillah(m): 12:02am On Aug 06, 2016 |
Re: Before I Self Destruct (no Invitation) by SalomonKane: 12:07am On Aug 06, 2016 |
JigsawKillah:Oh really.. Lemme check it out. Modify. Nope. Your rhyme scheme are erratic. Am I allowed to show you? |
Re: Before I Self Destruct (no Invitation) by JigsawKillah(m): 12:19am On Aug 06, 2016 |
SalomonKane: please do |
Re: Before I Self Destruct (no Invitation) by SalomonKane: 12:26am On Aug 06, 2016 |
JigsawKillah:Left and death don't rhyme. Indications and invitation don't rhyme. The (s) at the end of indication (s) makes it not to rhyme with invitation. Etc. I'll give it a thorough check later though. |
Re: Before I Self Destruct (no Invitation) by JigsawKillah(m): 12:33am On Aug 06, 2016 |
SalomonKane: ever stumbled upon the words: slant rhymes? I'm still thinking the rhymes are perfect and at worst slant. but honestly, I forgot there was an (s) there thanks though anything else i am forgetting? |
Re: Before I Self Destruct (no Invitation) by SalomonKane: 12:41am On Aug 06, 2016 |
JigsawKillah:I see. If the rhyme slant then shouldn't it be prudent to make all the other rhyme slant as well? Nope. Non I can think of at the moment. |
Re: Before I Self Destruct (no Invitation) by JigsawKillah(m): 3:08pm On Aug 06, 2016 |
SalomonKane: slant rhymes can coexist with perfect rhymes. if it's slant, it doesn't have to be slant all through. matter of fact, perfect rhymes are always the best but slants are also accepted and can be forgiven |
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Lovesick / My Very Unfair Exam. / Don't Say You Love Me!
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