A woman around here was married to this Man ( A medical Doctor) and gave birth to 3 children, 2 boys (twins) and a girl. They separated and have been living separately for about 6 years. And all through this period, the man has not been taken care of the children nor pay their school fees and left the woman to take the burden alone.
He comes once in a while to take the children out and buy ice-cream for them all in a pretense to love and care for them. Anytime she asks him for the school fees, he gives excuses and she is very tied now and wants to find a way to enforce him take up his duties.
What can she do please?

It all depends on the circumstances surrounding their separation and what transpired thereafter. Do they have a good relationship after the separation or a soured one? Her response to these questions will help to understand what is behind the man's actions.

some men Sha, all in a bid to punish a woman, they do the unthinkable. Since he has refused to cater for his children's school fees and their upkeep, his ex-wife should get a lawyer and drag him to court. It is a very simple matter. He would be made to provide for his children.

If he is not doing this willingly, trying to force him to do it now will turn to a kind of battle. Only your kids will suffer.
It will be a long battle if not handled properly.
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Talk to an elderly person whom he respects in his family. The suggestion is that he should be sending some money for the upkeep of his kids.
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It might not be much... Be considerate of his earnings.
And suggest how often the payment should be made.
Let the suggestion be of a shared responsibility.
You can outline the cost of their school fees every term.
So it will look like, he pays the cost of their school fees, while you shoulder their upkeep. It will be easier for him to consent to pay an amount that is fixed and accountable, than to pay for general upkeep which has no evidence of judicious use.
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What you need is a compromise, not a fight.

checkengine:
It all depends on the circumstances surrounding their separation and what transpired thereafter. Do they have a good relationship after the separation or a soured one? Her response to these questions will help to understand what is behind the man's actions.

Even if their relationship is as sour as egusi soup left outside the freezer for one week without reheating it, he has a responsibility towards his children.
They didn't ask to be born.
Every parent should be responsible for their kids. Will the children not eat? Will they not wear clothes? Will they not go to school?
Any parent that needs to be reminded that their children have these basic needs is irresponsible and shouldn't be having kids.

checkengine:
It all depends on the circumstances surrounding their separation and what transpired thereafter. Do they have a good relationship after the separation or a soured one? Her response to these questions will help to understand what is behind the man's actions.

there's nothing to understand. As long as the kids are his, no matter what happened between him and his ex, it is his duty to contribute to their welfare.

Seahawk:
there's nothing to understand. As long as the kids are his, no matter what happened between him and his ex, it is his duty to contribute to their welfare.

I wouldn't know what transpired between the couple but for a father to not care for the children, hmmm. I can't seem to wrap my head around it seriously. That's more like abandonment and sincerely, it will take more than just separation for a man to act the way he is acting.

Seahawk:
there's nothing to understand. As long as the kids are his, no matter what happened between him and his ex, it is his duty to contribute to their welfare.

but its her duty to keep the kids right? Enjoy their presence while he's lonely and just an atm machine. You ppl r funny. Whoever decides to keep the kids will naturally spend more. That's why seperation is bad. She should have even left one or two with the man sef.

Finally in family issues, please take note the courts never solve the problems, you end up spending money, and worsening the situation.

revolt:
but its her duty to keep the kids right? Enjoy their presence while he's lonely and just an atm machine. You ppl r funny. Whoever decides to keep the kids will naturally spend more. That's why seperation is bad. She should have even left one or two with the man sef.

if you guys knew anything about child care then we would start talking. Give him underage kids so that he can go dump them them with the new woman in his life or maybe his mother. People who won't take care of the kids like their own. Besides what makes he think he even wanted them in the first place?

Seahawk:
if you guys knew anything about child care then we would start talking. Give him underage kids so that he can go dump them them with the new woman in his life or maybe his mother. People who won't take care of the kids like their own. Besides what makes he think he even wanted them in the first place?

what makes you think he didn't want them? You ignorantly assume all fathers if left with custody of the kids, abandons them for the new womAn!! Anyways its true women are naturally more domestiicated than men and thus can pamper and show affection which is important for the childs growth, but mke no mistake in noting children that grow with their dads are usually more disciplined, and better prepared to start life. because fathers play a very impnt role in grooming what a kid will eventually turn out in future. On ther hand mothers end up spoiling and grooming overgrown babies. So pls both are important.

revolt:
what makes you think he didn't want them? You ignorantly assume all fathers if left with custody of the kids, abandons them for the new womAn!! Anyways its true women are naturally more domestiicated than men and thus can pamper and show affection which is important for the childs growth, but mke no mistake in noting children that grow with their dads are usually more disciplined, and better prepared to start life. because fathers play a very impnt role in grooming what a kid will eventually turn out in future. On ther hand mothers end up spoiling and grooming overgrown babies. So pls both are important.

Okay, to answer this...He didnt want them with him and he only comes around once in a while to buy ice-cream for the kids and play with them also giving them lots of promises that never comes alive, and once he leaves..he sends stories of how he is in debt and cant do anything...Also he is a Med Doc.

beryour:


Okay, to answer this...He didnt want them with him and he only comes around once in a while to buy ice-cream for the kids and play with them also giving them lots of promises that never comes alive, and once he leaves..he sends stories of how he is in debt and cant do anything...Also he is a Med Doc.

there are so many questions you can't answer from here , eg who determines the school\school fees, which the children attend, what's the relationship btw both parties ie is it abusive, is the guy punishing her etc truth is no sane man just abandons his kids for no reason. Women can drive an angel into becoming a demon with petty stubborness. If she's a feminist, then surely therell be issues.

1st of all, why are they not living together?

2ndly,is it true that he is in serious debt?

How did he got himself involved in the debt if true?

Despite the break up, why is he still in @least talking terms with the ex wife?

These are questions I have to ask 1st.

U might run too fast to the law for comfort and end up messing ur self up.

The person that is always 1st to appear b4 the law is not always right.

If u are not the lady in question, I presume that for a medical doctor to marry, he will @ least look for an educated one who also knows the importance of social welfare and its jobs.

Not all medical doctors are financially ok.NEVERTHELESS, it does not stop him from shouldering the responsibilities as the father to those kids.