INTERNAL HOME MEMO

FROM: FATHER

TO: ALL DEPENDANTS & RELATIVES

CC: MOTHER

DATE: September 05, 2016

SUBJECT: FINANCIAL MELTDOWN/COST CUTTING MEASURES FOR YOUR URGENT ATTENTION

Due to the current economic situation, all domestic rules and regulations
Have been revised as below and under no* *circumstance is any violation going
*to be accepted*.

1. The Kitchen and all pantries are declared Restricted Zones. Entry
and/or passage shall require express permission from *myself upon submission of written request*.

2. Breakfast is banned. This matter cannot be *discussed*!

3. Such food items as *rice, chicken, butter, jam, eggs, bread and milk* are
Restricted. Anyone intending to eat any of such foodstuffs must write to
*me in triplicate*, with three days notice, giving justification backed by a *qualified dietician* report as supportive documentation.

4. Bathing in the morning is limited to *5 litres* of water per
person while bathing in the evening is banned unless there are *medical reasons*.

5. All security lights should be removed with immediate effect. *All dependants shall abide by an all-night guard-duty roster* I shall make
available shortly.

6. No dependant shall entertain friends indoors, far less attempt to
offer food, drinks or even music. *Those who want their guests to listen to music shall sing for them.*

7. No one is allowed to talk to officials from police, Council or Court Bailiffs; doing so shall carry an instantaneous penalty of ejection from the House.

8. Anybody who breaks a glass, furniture or any other property in The
House, shall immediately have to seek *temporary employment*
somewhere to earn money to replace such broken item(s).

9. All *visitors* intending to spend a *night/week or more* shall apply in triplicate and give *two months notice*, with an endorsement from
their *village Head or Church Priest*, giving convincing reasons why they can't stay at their *homes*. Failure to do this shall result in their being turned away, at the gate, upon arrival.

THESE RULES ARE BINDING AND NOT SUBJECT TO ANY DISCUSSION WHATSOEVER!!!

Signed:

DAD
Chairman of Home Affairs


Cc lalasticlala
Infinitikoncept
Ladyf
Dagr8

Dad, we need to talk ASAP!!

what a father!

what a nigerian-father!

recession things

moyakz:
what a nigerian-father!

Lol! Economic recession is biting real hard. I hope the rules are applicable to all...including himself.

Bookiemart01:
recession things

Hope the recession didnot reach ur side o?

God's been our "recession proof"

moyakz:

Hope the recession didnot reach ur side o?

Those who want their guests to listen to music shall sing for them.

This part got me rotfl!

Do you know this father? Let him comman explain why "No one is allowed to talk to officials from police, Council or Court Bailiffs; doing so shall carry an instantaneous penalty of ejection from the House"

agarawu23:

ladyF:

This part got me rotfl!

Bookiemart01:
Do you know this father? Let him comman explain why "No one is allowed to talk to officials from police, Council or Court Bailiffs; doing so shall carry an instantaneous penalty of ejection from the House"

if you break the man rule, you go chop koboko

agarawu23:
if you break the man rule, you go chop koboko

Bookiemart01:
God's been our "recession proof"

lol.the surest thing now is to hold God tight o.

My. God see us through dis hard times. Times r hard indeed.

lmao