As i am typing this now, i am confused and depressed at the same time with my eyes full of tears. I am 24, done with school and now working but my life feel so empty like something have been plugged from my life. Most night, i go to bed feeling so lonely and dejected with no body to turn to. Physically i am very much ok but deep down i know something is missing in my life. I just dont know how to explain it. My upbringing was terrible. Grew up in a repressive manner with my dad who never want you talking with any one but just being indoor. Communication was zero. He goes out in the morning and return at night. We just cook and eat and go to bed and that has been the routine through out my teen years. For this, i never new what love was or is and never mixed with the opposite sex as i am constantly tormented with fear and that of rejection. lest i forget, being poor was an understatement as I am my elder bro could only boast of one meal per day most day . I entered the University thinking i would be free but rather it became worst. Through out my Uni days i never mixed up with the opposite sex let alone have a girlfriend but just a few male friends who i even get tired of. Most i do was to play football and recoil again into my shell. I knew something was wrong deep down but couldn't pin point or even know how to tackle it. Outside this feeling of hollowness , emptiness i slipped into masturbation unconsciously in my secondary school and it followed me through my uni days and even service and am still struggling to stop it finally. gradually i keep dying everyday with no one to run to as it seems no one have the solution to my problem or even understand what i am feeling . Sometimes i try to console myself that it is well , the next moment am back to square one. I have lived in Ibadan for almost two years now but no friends as I find it making friends let alone the opposite sex. I just can't explain it. Just like a self conflict within battling inside me with the struggle to be free. At this age I dont even have a girlfriend to call my own let alone one to marry. Any time i feel like walking up to one , all of a sudden it look as if something like a shadow is thrown over me an i get blank with it visible in my face. It is really bad that at a point in time , a friend of mine was forced to call someone else to come stay with me cos i was crying over the phone. Over time, I dont know if to term it psychological or spiritual one. I might be happy this moment when in the midst of people and the next everything winds down to a zero level, not to talk of when alone. I feel so lonely and dejected with no where to run to. As a matter of fact, am scared of living alone as i dont know what my life will be like. I know I can get help in the family section more than any other place . Please I need help. I need to get my life back.

Hi... I'm TrapQueen... Don't be sad..you'll be OK... Juz take a deep breath whenever u feel drowning.


Ur not alone.. Some ppol face the same problem as u do but we have different approach on how to overcome this kind of problem..

Am just feeling ur pains as if it mine.

If u were close to me,i wud av been of great help,i'v been through 10times worse and am beta dan eva...u nid 2 find wat u love and do it like krazy,true happiness is rare(or join a lovely church,if ur belief system matches)..simple baby steps.

Yes find a church near you and join a group in that church, this way u can always communicate with more women and bf u know it one will start liking and coming close to u. Occupy your mind with d words of God it will help u very much

u knw ur prob look 4d solution bro .

Alot of people are going through this same predicament. Just keep calm and pray.

Embrace Jesus and u will find joy, peace and love that no man can ever give u or dare take away from you.

^^^^All the above Op.Just take a step and with time things will begin to fall into place.

.....baby steps.

Download these books and read them. You must not necessarily do what they say.
Eat, love and pray and
the secret.
I hope you get better.

It is well with you @OP
Trust me you'll be fine pretty soon
Don't worry,be happy,laugh out your worries even when it seems like there's not gonna be a solution pretty soon, but guess what,you're not alone my brother,God be with you

Although i didn't read the story becasue it's a long one, i figured u need a woman..
Don't worry, some times, being an introvert pays. But u'll surely get one soon. Atleast, we still have single Nairaland babes.

All you need is Love. Join a lively church with lots of activities. Go out ...to malls,cinemas,shows and all that. Repaint your house,rearrange the setting and feel new all over. Make friends.......with sociable and confident people. What kinda work dyu do?kinda sedentary?

firstly let me start by saying YOU ARE NOT ALONE. you have someone who loves you unconditionally once you dedicate yourself to him he is ready to come into your life and make you a new being.that person is JESUS CHRIST

Secondly you are the key to your own happiness. have a positive mindset, do things that makes you happy, be creative, be jovial, be optimistic. It begins with you, once you start programming yourself into positive things you will have a fantastic result. GOD BLESS YOU.

Thanks to everyone that have contributed .Sharing it alone makes me happier and the burden lighter .

Swissheart:
All you need is Love. Join a lively church with lots of activities. Go out ...to malls,cinemas,shows and all that. Repaint your house,rearrange the setting and feel new all over. Make friends.......with sociable and confident people. What kinda work dyu do?kinda sedentary?

You right, I don't really go out. Two years here and I haven't really gone to any place . I work with national ID card commission

Jamieb:

You right, I don't really go out. Two years here and I haven't really gone to any place . I work with national ID card commission

Good. Go out. See places. If your work is one that keeps you to a seat with same routine then I think you should find a hobby. Let's start with the zoo,have you been there?

Swissheart:
Good. Go out. See places. If your work is one that keeps you to a seat with same routine then I think you should find a hobby. Let's start with the zoo,have you been there?

Not really . Never been to one before . Thanks , I have to visit one tomorrow then . I recognize I can't always be around people all my life . I need to build the confidence to be alone and be happy with myself within and without and I appreciate your effort .God bless you big ma

Jamieb,

what happened, happened. It's over and you can't change it. You can only shape your future and that's more than enough. You feel helpless right now and what you want is to feel empowered. You can't feel empowerment in the very moment but you can reach for hope and then for optimism because even though you can't undo what happened in the past, you can shape your future experience.

You said you had no friends but you mentioned a friend who was there for you in one of your moments of deepest despair. He listened and he organized help. Isn't it something to appreciate?

Reach for hope and appreciate every little thing. It will bring relief.

Jamieb:

Not really . Never been to one before . Thanks , I have to visit one tomorrow then . I recognize I can't always be around people all my life . I need to build the confidence to be alone and be happy with myself within and without and I appreciate your effort .God bless you big ma

Glad you feel better, if it is convenient visit one this weekend and comman gimme gist . God bless you too.

Swissheart:
Glad you feel better, if it is convenient visit one this weekend and comman gimme gist . God bless you too.

OK. Thanks , would make out time tomorrow . Will surely keep you in the know . Thanks

guy u dey work...dey mek money and u say u no get gf?......Oya na....go club for weekends...drink beer....carry women.......enjoy life jareee.....nobody actually gets out of it alive

Jamieb:
As i am typing this now, i am confused and depressed at the same time with my eyes full of tears. I am 24, done with school and now working but my life feel so empty like something have been plugged from my life. Most night, i go to bed feeling so lonely and dejected with no body to turn to. Physically i am very much ok but deep down i know something is missing in my life. I just dont know how to explain it. My upbringing was terrible. Grew up in a repressive manner with my dad who never want you talking with any one but just being indoor. Communication was zero. He goes out in the morning and return at night. We just cook and eat and go to bed and that has been the routine through out my teen years. For this, i never new what love was or is and never mixed with the opposite sex as i am constantly tormented with fear and that of rejection. lest i forget, being poor was an understatement as I am my elder bro could only boast of one meal per day most day . I entered the University thinking i would be free but rather it became worst. Through out my Uni days i never mixed up with the opposite sex let alone have a girlfriend but just a few male friends who i even get tired of. Most i do was to play football and recoil again into my shell. I knew something was wrong deep down but couldn't pin point or even know how to tackle it. Outside this feeling of hollowness , emptiness i slipped into masturbation unconsciously in my secondary school and it followed me through my uni days and even service and am still struggling to stop it finally. gradually i keep dying everyday with no one to run to as it seems no one have the solution to my problem or even understand what i am feeling . Sometimes i try to console myself that it is well , the next moment am back to square one. I have lived in Ibadan for almost two years now but no friends as I find it making friends let alone the opposite sex. I just can't explain it. Just like a self conflict within battling inside me with the struggle to be free. At this age I dont even have a girlfriend to call my own let alone one to marry. Any time i feel like walking up to one , all of a sudden it look as if something like a shadow is thrown over me an i get blank with it visible in my face. It is really bad that at a point in time , a friend of mine was forced to call someone else to come stay with me cos i was crying over the phone. Over time, I dont know if to term it psychological or spiritual one. I might be happy this moment when in the midst of people and the next everything winds down to a zero level, not to talk of when alone. I feel so lonely and dejected with no where to run to. As a matter of fact, am scared of living alone as i dont know what my life will be like. I know I can get help in the family section more than any other place . Please I need help. I need to get my life back.

How i wish i could invite you to Encounter Retreat which started today, there is a class for people like you, those suffering from rejection nd dejection...

to ur story:
Most people might not feel what u re feeling but i was there and i can feel you from A-Z..
A greater percent of ur problem is upbringing, till today i still battle the remnant in me.
Luckily for me i was able to break through cous of my job then which attracted the opposite sex but not without putting extra works and killing that fear..
Not to go deep with stories, this is what you do, quit porn and look for something u like doing that will always keep ur mind off immoral thing, what worked for me was Alcohol with friends, thou i will not advice that...

Secondly, kill that fear in you.. i started with "try ur luck" i just approach the opposite sex nd bring up conversation that dont last a minute just to break that jinx..
If i tell you for 2 years now, i dont ve a gal fwend and not looking for one cous i ve occupied my mind with fixing my career and my finances....

Jamieb:
As i am typing this now, i am confused and depressed at the same time with my eyes full of tears. I am 24, done with school and now working but my life feel so empty like something have been plugged from my life. Most night, i go to bed feeling so lonely and dejected with no body to turn to. Physically i am very much ok but deep down i know something is missing in my life. I just dont know how to explain it. My upbringing was terrible. Grew up in a repressive manner with my dad who never want you talking with any one but just being indoor. Communication was zero. He goes out in the morning and return at night. We just cook and eat and go to bed and that has been the routine through out my teen years. For this, i never new what love was or is and never mixed with the opposite sex as i am constantly tormented with fear and that of rejection. lest i forget, being poor was an understatement as I am my elder bro could only boast of one meal per day most day . I entered the University thinking i would be free but rather it became worst. Through out my Uni days i never mixed up with the opposite sex let alone have a girlfriend but just a few male friends who i even get tired of. Most i do was to play football and recoil again into my shell. I knew something was wrong deep down but couldn't pin point or even know how to tackle it. Outside this feeling of hollowness , emptiness i slipped into masturbation unconsciously in my secondary school and it followed me through my uni days and even service and am still struggling to stop it finally. gradually i keep dying everyday with no one to run to as it seems no one have the solution to my problem or even understand what i am feeling . Sometimes i try to console myself that it is well , the next moment am back to square one. I have lived in Ibadan for almost two years now but no friends as I find it making friends let alone the opposite sex. I just can't explain it. Just like a self conflict within battling inside me with the struggle to be free. At this age I dont even have a girlfriend to call my own let alone one to marry. Any time i feel like walking up to one , all of a sudden it look as if something like a shadow is thrown over me an i get blank with it visible in my face. It is really bad that at a point in time , a friend of mine was forced to call someone else to come stay with me cos i was crying over the phone. Over time, I dont know if to term it psychological or spiritual one. I might be happy this moment when in the midst of people and the next everything winds down to a zero level, not to talk of when alone. I feel so lonely and dejected with no where to run to. As a matter of fact, am scared of living alone as i dont know what my life will be like. I know I can get help in the family section more than any other place . Please I need help. I need to get my life back.

.

It seems you are being oppressed by demons that have taken advantage of your low self - Image.

You need deliverance. First give yourself to Christ, fast and pray, seek an annointed man or woman to pray for you, good luck

Hello Op, i'm so sorry about ur predicament. But I will recommend u get dese books by Bishop David Oyedepo, Satan Get Lost & Conquering Controlling Powers. Dey are powerful books & very affordable. If I cud reach u, I wud have given dem 2 u. I believe if u can read dem, u will be free in Jesus name.
God bless U! It is well!

Is there true love in church ? Bro find happiness within , be happy with urself and gradually things will improve.

In addition, find a gym membership and go work the depression off. It might help.

Free Yourself go out often, at times you might not have anywhere to go to. Find one small child around you and take him/her for a walk discuss and gist with the child, hit the club over the weekend and dance. On sunday dance and participate in every funtion in your church. And also learn to be attending social function like wedding, birthday and burial ceremony when it get to time for dancing, dance as if na you dey celebrate or if.






Ma Tearoses please your valuable advice is also needed.

The first thing I do whenever I find myself in a new environment is to join a Church (and become active). That's one of the few places you can meet trustworthy friends. Mind you, bad people also attend religious gatherings so you have to be very careful.

Alternatively, do not limit the power of Social Media. I've made more friends on Nairaland than I have in my new environment. You also have to note this: nobody can give you lasting happiness, you have to find it within. While trying to build yourself, remember you're not alone.

What's the situation like at your workplace? Do you love your job? Do you find peace doing what everyone else love to do? Or are you struggling trying to be like others?

I work from home, and only go out when I have to meet a client. For instance, I spent my night working in my bed, so while others leave for work this morning, I'd stay put in my bed sleeping. This is the way I've designed this stage of my life to be. Any attempt to go out there might leave me frustrated. 3 times I have tried it, 3 times I've returned home to mind my business. It doesn't mean I won't go out whenever I AM READY.

I've also heard people say they cannot work from home. So in essence, it is time to discover what works best for you. Find your niche and make yourself happy.

You can go to Church as I earlier mentioned, even club, parties, etc. But unless your personality key into these activities, it will leave you frustrated. Do not think dancing in one Owanbe will make you happy. NO! Do not try it unless you love to dance. Remember the principle, DO what you LOVE ONLY. Life is too short, you cannot live the life others want to live. Only your way of life will make you happy. What is your way of life? What do you love to do? FIND IT!

A lot of time, I've tried to belong to Chelsea, Arsenal, Man U, etc., I had to stop that nonsense in my Uni days, seeing many people struggling to belong leaves me sick. I play football, watch football but count me out in your arguments, bettings and discussion. It doesn't mean I'm not MAN enough as some sickos always assume. Meanwhile, my admiration for Table tennis is second to none, but I do not expect others to love it the way I do.
In essence, the fact that what others love doesn't get your attention does not mean you're sick. It only portrays your uniqueness so don't fight it.

I'm tired of typing already but hey! it is time to live your life. You're 24 already, take a walk and reflect on those things you love! Love, Joy, Peace and Happiness do not attract depression or frustration so whenever you feel depressed, it means you've derailed. Find you track.

Thanks Funjosh

Op please see a doctor
You sound like you are depressed
Get seen and evaluated first
Depression is not a big deal and you may just need medication for a short while and counselling

Of course join a church, make new friends, do charity work and get involved in your community, keep busy etc but you need to be in the right frame of mind to even venture out and to actually enjoy these things.

Also get out there, find a safe place and exercise/jog/walk
Fresh air and sexercise releases feel good hormones. You also get fit too

It is a phase and You will overcome
It is well