How would You Handle This Issue Among Your Siblings?? - Family - Nairaland
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| How would You Handle This Issue Among Your Siblings?? by Sermwell(m): 6:31pm On Sep 14, 2016 |
Iam the eldest son in a family of three; two boys and a girl! The last is a 16yrs old boy while the second, a girl, who will be 18 by december. My parents are often busy and iam either in school or hustling when school is on break. My sis is someone who likes many 'waka about' but my lil bro always wants to checkmates her! Most times, I overhear him asking where she's going to or who the hell is the guy waiting by our gate. I also know how he stoped her from receiving male visitors. He scolds her often in the house about unwashed dishes, untidy kitchen and some other house chores that should normally be taken care of by her, and even locks the gate against her when she comes back late. The other day, he refused her out of the house because her skirt was too short! She has often reported him to me on how he's always embarrasing her in public when she's 'doing her thing', and that as her younger brother, he does not have the right to do so. She even thinks the young man is that bold to challenge her because he has our backings or because she's a girl but that's not true! And my lil bro wants us to allow him handle her to make her a better person. He is the no nonsense man of the house but my sis is someone who cannot change by mere talking to her! I approached my dad about the issue, and he said I should take care of it but seem to be in support of my lil bro checkmating his elder sister but my mum will have none of that. Pls guys, how will you handle such situation as a big bro or sis in the house? Cc: lalasticlala Cc: : RoyalRoy |
| Re: How would You Handle This Issue Among Your Siblings?? by amazzinggrace(f): 6:45pm On Sep 14, 2016 |
Your lil bro is more of a man than you are. He needs to get a life sha. Who wan spoil go spoil 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: How would You Handle This Issue Among Your Siblings?? by Davash222(m): 6:47pm On Sep 14, 2016 |
And shame no catch u as u dey post this  You are the sissy of the house. You allowed your younger bro to be doing your job and tomorrow you will be claiming 'Okpara' when it comes to sharing of Lands or properties. I feel like flogging you. 17 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: How would You Handle This Issue Among Your Siblings?? by Sermwell(m): 6:49pm On Sep 14, 2016 |
amazzinggrace:That's not true sis! Iam a carefree and easy going person o! I just don't have plenty of time in my hands like the young man! |
| Re: How would You Handle This Issue Among Your Siblings?? by Sermwell(m): 6:51pm On Sep 14, 2016 |
Davash222: Take it easy bro!  How do you think this issue can be handled? |
| Re: How would You Handle This Issue Among Your Siblings?? by amazzinggrace(f): 6:52pm On Sep 14, 2016 |
Sermwell: Lol. OK. I believe you. Here's my advise. Talk to her. Not condemning, not judging. Just explain where her choices will lead her and how temporary "hot geh" does not mean she should give up on building herself. If you think her skirt is too short, say your mind . Doesn't mean she'll listen. And again, tell your brother to get a life. She doesn't have to fashion her life to his desires |
| Re: How would You Handle This Issue Among Your Siblings?? by Davash222(m): 6:52pm On Sep 14, 2016 |
Sermwell:How old are you |
| Re: How would You Handle This Issue Among Your Siblings?? by Artistree: 9:46pm On Sep 14, 2016 |
Op,take charge of your younger ones. 2 Likes |
| Re: How would You Handle This Issue Among Your Siblings?? by Nyceguy92: 10:49pm On Sep 14, 2016 |
Hierarchy exists among siblings and so is the attendant respect. Although your younger brother means well, he has no right to disrespect his elder sister whatsoever. Bros, lack of time is an unacceptable excuse for failing to live up to your position in the house. As the eldest, you should have a certain "hold" on your siblings... But because you are a bit laid-back, it ain't happening. It appears that your younger sister is the extrovert while your younger brother leans on the conservative side. If that is the case, conflict will always arise. You did not mention whether she is in school and how well she is doing.. You should be more concerned if her lifestyle is affecting her academic performance. The thing to do is to ask your younger brother to show some respect to her sister. As suggested already, lay the pros and cons of those "unwanted" behaviours before her. Since she is not independent, you need to know where she is going and give her a timeframe to come back; it is standard practice. In a nutshell, sit up, bro. 11 Likes |
| Re: How would You Handle This Issue Among Your Siblings?? by nnamdibig(m): 11:04pm On Sep 14, 2016 |
You asked how the issue will be handled, since your dad has given you the go ahead, just take position of your little brother in the matter. May be your sister will fear you more and stop seeing it as embarrassment. But Nawa for you ooo, boy come wait for your 18yr old sister for gate for this our naija and you no do anything? May be when she carry belle enter house(God forbid) you go act. 1 Like |
| Re: How would You Handle This Issue Among Your Siblings?? by njiasi30(f): 1:04am On Sep 15, 2016 |
Toor, most times it happens like dat, d 2nd born re always matured and reason's well more Dan d first born and dey always try to ride dem. Nt trying to insult u pls, just speaking 4rm exp  u should try and sit her down and talk sense into her, although she's no longer a kid but u need to direct her and lead her well. She will probably listen to u more, try nt 2 b 2 soft on her.Sorry to say, ur mum should nt b 2 busy 4 her only daughter and neglect her role as a mum. Everyone will blame her if anything happens to her. Ur dad can also help by being strict on her and set rules which she must abide... Her education should b her priority and taking care of d home. She is still tender now and men can easily deceive her.... Kudos 2 ur bro, he does nt want ur sis to bring shame to d home. Parents should always ve time 4 dere kids, i know it's nt easy but we should try our best and leave d rest 4 God. our kids re our pride and joy.  |
| Re: How would You Handle This Issue Among Your Siblings?? by SAMBARRY: 6:27am On Sep 15, 2016 |
@nyce guy has said it all.ut is nonsense. Arrant nonsense for you little brother to be disrespecting his sister.if she is misbehaving it's not in his place to correct her.you are the one supposed to be doing that and btw what you call correction is rudeness. All the gra gra moves your kid brother Is making will not change her.it'll only worsen her and make her more rebellious. Things to do as the big brother of the house 1.tell your kid brother to mind his buisness. He's not better of than his sister. He should face his own life.there's a difference between your daughter and your elder sister 2.promise her that if she comes home early you'll reward her with (whatever. Give her whatever you think will catch her fancy ) 3.as a big brother you need wisdom and discretion handling sibling matter because this small matter you're seeing can graduate to everlasting sibling rivalry that age or marriage cannot end and it and it usually starts with when the parents or eldest sibling allow the younger one to disrespect the older one.I'm talking about the kinds of siblings rivalry that's so bad that leans towards extreme hatred and jealousy or unhealthy competition. I.e the girl will be trying to prove that I'm older than you while the boy will try to prove I'm a man. 4.no matter what he has no right to do so 5.if you find her outfits inappropriate tell any of your female friends who is older or like your mates to help you buy an outfit for an 18year old. Give the person money to buy something fashionable yet decent that an 18year old will love and tell your sister that if she passes you'll reward her with maybe phone Brazilian hair or whatever. So you'll see she'll change gradually and every thing any boy wants to deceive HER with she knows her big brother can get it for her Cc tearoses efemena xyz Coco candy Come and put mouth 5 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: How would You Handle This Issue Among Your Siblings?? by Nobody: 6:58am On Sep 15, 2016 |
Tell your brother to focus on his life and become productive. The guy has too much time. 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: How would You Handle This Issue Among Your Siblings?? by Ranchhoddas: 10:44am On Sep 15, 2016 |
amazzinggrace:The first line of your comment is very stupid. Some people are naturally calm. I don't expect you to understand. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: How would You Handle This Issue Among Your Siblings?? by amazzinggrace(f): 10:52am On Sep 15, 2016 |
Ranchhoddas: I don't agree with your opinion so you resort to insults? Say what you think and I'll say my opinion. Even the op understood that my saying that was a joke. A 16 year old is a child. Feel free to say whatever you want but calling me out because u disagree to insult me displays how shallow and narrow minded you are. 4 Likes |
| Re: How would You Handle This Issue Among Your Siblings?? by Ranchhoddas: 10:55am On Sep 15, 2016 |
amazzinggrace:Please point out the insult in my comment. If anything it's you who has insulted me. |
| Re: How would You Handle This Issue Among Your Siblings?? by Berbierklaus(f): 11:50am On Sep 15, 2016 |
Sermwell:What? 18 year old girl? flog that waka about commot for her body,all these teenagers that wants to grow overnight,if the wahala come now(unwanted pregnancy) them go bring the problem come dump for house. You need to take up the mantle of leadership,be stern and serious with her,she will thank You in the future,if You continue this carefree attitude,she will thank her younger brother and hate You when the wahala comes. Use practical examples of wayward girls that end up badly for her,monitor her,she is just a teenager experimenting,don't let it be too late o That your younger brother wise gan but that is not his duty,he is doing your duty since You have refused to do it 5 Likes |
| Re: How would You Handle This Issue Among Your Siblings?? by EfemenaXY: 2:56pm On Sep 18, 2016 |
SAMBARRY:  How I go put mouth if I no see my mentions? Abeg make you dey try spell my name well jor.  But yeah I agree with you to a point. @op: your mum and dad shouldn't shirk from their parenting duties no mater how "busy" they are. They, and not your 16 year old brother (who incidentally is still a child), should take responsibility for guiding and directing you and your siblings. I'm curious, what exactly did you mum say in response to your younger brother's issue with your sister?? 1 Like |
| Re: How would You Handle This Issue Among Your Siblings?? by Pidggin(f): 6:01pm On Sep 18, 2016 |
Put yourself in her shoes, how can her younger brother treat her that way? I am not in support of wayward life but how come only the girl is this way as you claim, was there something missing in her life while growing up or something For her younger one to bully her this way and get away with it, there has to be something wrong with the way you all were raised. Is your mother not involved? I didn't hear you mention her 2 Likes |
| Re: How would You Handle This Issue Among Your Siblings?? by Richy4(m): 9:22pm On Sep 18, 2016 |
OP, i believe the problem between your siblings did not start today... what have you done so far as the first child? U said your sister sometimes reports the matter to you... how did you handle it? you should have given nairaland family a rundown of how little u have handled the situation before rushing in here... In as much as your younger brother is trying to have her sister's back, He is disrespectful.. he should know his limit... Tell him you understand how he was trying to defend the honour of your family name by cutting your sister's excesses but he should stop embarrassing her... he should know his place in the family....I hope he will not grow and get used to this, and start embarrassing his wife and female kids in future...U guys should talk to him.. it's not the best way to go... Your dad should also talk to his daughter... and Giving the youngest in the family the license to disrespect the elder sister to me is not a good parenting... As for you op sir, i hope you don't "draw like okro" in the family...I know u are studing and looking for money, but try and know what is happening in your family. u will soon have your own kids one day.... u should know what to say to a younger sister at your age.. 2 Likes |
| Re: How would You Handle This Issue Among Your Siblings?? by Richy4(m): 9:26pm On Sep 18, 2016 |
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| Re: How would You Handle This Issue Among Your Siblings?? by zexzy(f): 10:09pm On Sep 18, 2016 |
I am not a fan of teenage girls who like "waka waka" but i think your younger brother needs to wait till he has his own kids before he starts forming discipline master, I just can't imagine outright disrespect from a younger one all in the name of trying to correct his elder sis. 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: How would You Handle This Issue Among Your Siblings?? by SAMBARRY: 10:28am On Sep 24, 2016 |
EfemenaXY:no ves na.na mistake Person no dey make mistake again?lol.sorry ma. It won't happen again |
| Re: How would You Handle This Issue Among Your Siblings?? by lonelydora: 10:45am On Oct 02, 2016 |
Op, you should be ashamed of yourself by posting this. You didn't do your job as the elder brother and your 'smart and intelligent' younger brother took over your job. Your younger brother is very correct to right the wrong of your sister who by all means wants to be a spoilt brat. Allowing male visitors who haven't summon courage to enter your compound by hanging around the gate is a mark of disrespect to your family. But your younger brother needs to apply a little manner of approach to the issue when correcting her. |
| Re: How would You Handle This Issue Among Your Siblings?? by lonelydora: 10:47am On Oct 02, 2016 |
amazzinggrace: Spare the rod and spoil the child. A little spanking will factory reset her. |
| Re: How would You Handle This Issue Among Your Siblings?? by rezzy: 3:41pm On Oct 02, 2016 |
Humm, I no hear well. I was still beating my younger brother when I was 18 and he 16. I even pluck e teeth. Na gidigbo fight sure pass. Na your sister wen na break e head with bottle. 1 Like |
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