For Experienced Married Men Only - Family (3) - Nairaland
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| Re: For Experienced Married Men Only by ipain: 5:09pm On Oct 10, 2016 |
tugar: He has a point sir, though hash in his approach. Permit me to call you Sir because 10 years out of my current age means I am a kid in comparison to your experience in life. However, permit me to also state that you are not paying attention to salient vibes by discovery of your own exploration on your wife. I might be young, sir but one of the first things I learned out of fear is what you have described in your threads--which is wife seeking sex outside. In a bid to prepare for the future, I spent time reading stuffs about female sexuality and I think I know enough not to fall in your current state. Sex isn't food but women wants it, they may not tell you. See, it takes the grace of God for a woman not to fork another dick wherein her husband is neglecting her. She wants it sir. Please give it to her. Be her friend. Honestly, I was taking the stance of previous posters who wanted you to kick her out but Dyt and Co made me had a rethink because I had no idea you created previous threads on this same issue. I went over your threads to have an idea before commenting. A woman's brain is her emotion. They act based on emotion most of the time and if you are not there to channel that emotion strategically and effectively, they often fall astray. They are called weaker vessel for a reason. This year I tested 3 cases with 3 different girls and all fell for it. We never had sex, however if I had wanted to take to next level, I could have succeeded WITHOUT hitches. Not saying all women cheat but the chances are high if any guy can excite a lady's fantasy that she has been nursing for long. I do understand that she should have spoken to you over any problem, but have you been open to her or have you been rigid and cold towards her? What is the level of your communications with her? Are you friends? What if she has been longing to visit some places, just you and her? Have you tried to find out that? How about surprises? This is just one fantasy I could tickle in one of the 3 girls. Why did she like the idea? She had been nursing it, but her boyfriend wasn't there to get it done. He probably just go visit, they take pictures in same environment, no adventure, nothing. I know you work hard to feed, shelter and lead the family and the fact my epistle te to lean in her favour does not mean I am being insensitive to your existence. Do I have to remind you that this is why we are called "man"? We were born "man+age" things. Where born to "man+ufacture" things. It's a price we pay for upholding this gender status, sir. Before you kick her out, ensure you have at least tried to control the damages. I perceive you are being rigid, loosen up sir, at least for the sake of your kids if you love them, which I believe you do. You can do this. Women are babies no matter their age, pet your wife.  Sometimes things I read that cause problems in marriages makes me laugh because I can easily deflect them without ado. On a more serious note sir, please take time to study female sexuality, it helps. And also build your friendship with her. Take her and the kids out. Buy her stuffs, excite her fantasies, surprise her. Above all, explor ALL options before you quit. If after doing ALL this, she still doesn't change, then you are free to let her go. Nobody will blame you. 7 Likes |
| Re: For Experienced Married Men Only by Nobody: 5:12pm On Oct 10, 2016 |
lols Smack down  This one na Undertaker Vs Rey Mysterio 1 Like |
| Re: For Experienced Married Men Only by ipain: 5:15pm On Oct 10, 2016 |
byvan03:I don't play that card, as in call women whorees when they double date cos guys do it too. I am just speaking based on general account. |
| Re: For Experienced Married Men Only by byvan03: 7:21pm On Oct 10, 2016 |
ipain: Of course, because you are sensible. Some dimmers are always in hurry to whip out the morality card once promiscousity gist involves a woman as the offender. Don't feel sorry for him, he doesn't deserve it. 2 Likes |
| Re: For Experienced Married Men Only by tugar(m): 9:16pm On Oct 10, 2016 |
ipain: Thanks for the wonderful advice, not that I'm being rigid but wants her to be strong cos I don't always be around, now I'm due to travel to see them this weekend, hoping to confront her on this issue ,but I've already knows the outcome "crocodile tears" I'm human though, still have it at the back of my mind that she's there cos of financial security. |
| Re: For Experienced Married Men Only by 5minsmadness: 9:31pm On Oct 10, 2016 |
PaperLace: What is this? Pls be serious. Undertaker will destroy Rey Mysterio, no contest. 1 Like |
| Re: For Experienced Married Men Only by Nobody: 10:16pm On Oct 10, 2016 |
5minsmadness:lol. 'but iyam serious na.  Undertaker just destroyed Rey Mysterio on this thread, he didn't even stand a chance with all his flying tactics. 1 Like |
| Re: For Experienced Married Men Only by ipain: 12:02pm On Oct 11, 2016 |
PaperLace:eh, we know. Can you let that slide? There is a serious matter to be discuss because lives are on the line and I am yet to see your contribution on this thread. |
| Re: For Experienced Married Men Only by drmikeadams(m): 2:17pm On Oct 11, 2016 |
tugar://i for say make i hack her phone for you but with the above statement ,,you dont need any other evidence sir |
| Re: For Experienced Married Men Only by ipain: 4:09pm On Oct 11, 2016 |
tugar: Hmmmm... Sir, when people think about Marriage, all they think about is bliss, excitements, fun... hardly do they consider the kids, their welfare and so many problems awaits them. I have grown to take children's issues VERY serious. I don't know why, I have found myself even crying because of my elder brother's daughter's welfare. She is not my daughter, just my niece but anything about her that appear like her future is being mishandled, it makes me freak out. The other day, I was speaking with my elder sister over an Internet call since calls to switzerland is crazily TOO expensive. My elder sister could feel the anger in my voice, she could feel the agony in me and right there why speaking, tears were running down my cheeks because of my little niece. So, my elder sister told me point blank that she is worried with way I get angry on my brother and she started begging me on his behalf. I am not her father, I didn't give birth to her and but I believe that a child's future should never be tampered with. In same vein sir, for the sake of you children's future, please, find a way to handle this issue gently. In situations like this, I always ensure that when people hear my story, they wouldn't blame me. Yes, it might require you to act dumb. I know you are angry, I know you feel cheated, I know you feel betrayed despite toiling day and night to ensure that you provide for the family and in the end, you are under-appreciated by same woman you do it for. I am more concerned about those kids future, than you or your wife right now but their future depends on what you and your wife agree on. Do you love your wife? Do you still have a modicum of love for her? This is very important question. If you still do, even if the size of the love is as small as mustard seed, it can be grown into giant tree. Show her your evidence, ask her where you have gone wrong and how would she like to be treated or what she wants. After that talk make arrangement for a family outing, as in everybody going out and then tell her next would be just you and her. Just open up and ask her to open up too. So that you guys can get to the root cause of all these problems. I gave this same advise to a woman at one time in my life wherein her man engaged her and forgot it the ring lol. Well, things escalated and she was misbehaving. The man found out, became furious. However, I told her to open up, do not leave anything unturned and that her man will automatically do same. At the end of the day, she found out her friends were giving her man bad advise about her. It was things they told the guy that made him change over her out of jealousy. And since he stopped paying attention to her,she started misbehaving as well. It happen and that's women. You say want her to be strong, then you have got build that faith in her. Sir, I had a Togolese come work for me yesterday and I learned something HUGE, something most rich people, most educated people, most sophisticated people might not teach me. They are not rich. In fact the man ran to me few days ago to help him 1k from the proposed money I would pay him for the job. Because of that, I quickly told him to come and start yesterday. It was just a plaster walls for me. When he did the first work ( fix security door in our house), he came with his 2 daughters and their 2 dogs and his wife joined him at night. On this second job, his assistant was his wife. They carried sand on their head together. The wife went to fetch water used for mixing the sand. I was moved that I had to join her in the first one. When they requested for pure water, I went to buy it BECAUSE of the wife. She even told me I should have given her the money to go buy herself. I just smiled (like I usually do) and told her not to worry. Now, it got to a point, she started explaining certain part of the plastering process, telling me not to worry and that after this, the husband will do this and do that. This simply explained that she has been going with him to other ones. Jeez I was moved. They are not rich, they manage with what they can collectively bring home. BUT one thing they showed the world that day is that they are UNITED. In fact the 2 kids were here yesterday and also with their dogs Do you even know if someone is giving your wife bad advise? Do you know the kind of company she keeps? Who are the people leading her on? Sir, I want you to understand that money isn't enough. There are things that money CAN not buy. Like I said, women are babies, no matter their age. You have consistently teach them the way of life, advise, pampering, nurturing etc. It's a full time job! 1 Like |
| Re: For Experienced Married Men Only by Nobody: 4:55pm On Oct 11, 2016 |
ipain:Are you the counsel to the accused? I actually came in, ready to drop my dissertation on an overflogged issue, then I saw hypocrites prescribing pills they can't swallow_ I couldn't help being entertained. It's ever since I joined Nl that I saw people preaching divorce at reckless abandon, in reality...we have more of single married couples, forgiveness, more forgiveness and lots or healing processes. Divorce should most times be the the last resort. Like you said....he should sit up. Before it got to this stage, there has been a disconnect. I am not saying she isn't wrong, she is wrong very wrong_ she had vows to keep and I am sure, more than anyone else, she wants to keep them. Most times, one can't do it alone. At this point he should follow your advice and 5mins-madness. I no get strength to type, I have headache...should I take panadol or paracetamol?  |
| Re: For Experienced Married Men Only by ipain: 5:13pm On Oct 11, 2016 |
PaperLace:k |
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