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EPISODE 16

Me: Yes oooo, greet Sophia my wife for me ooo

Promzy: maka hear, what of Queency?, playboy like you.

Me: Queency won’t know naaa,even your boo get boo……

Promzy: *laughs* na u sabi..bye bye jooor

Me: bye too..abeg greet my second love Debby for me ooo

*Casanova,* i heard Sophia’s voice over the speaker..

Promzy: sey u don hear your sweets so, you be modern day Casanova, bye jaweew
*she hangs up*

Haahahaa…I thought of Promzy, she was such a sweet and s#xy girl, but as the Casanova i have become since I entered school, I’m not the right guy for her because I’ll only play with such an innocent girl’s heart. I have called Norah, Damariz, Ronke, Tolu, Dami, yemi and about a dozen other girls.

I was cruising on MTN free call cheat, I lied to most girls that my dad was a business mogul and I didn’t even have to check my account balance since money flow in every week. They had actually believe my lies. Franco was the only guy I had called so far, I didn’t want to call my Diva, Dija now, I had called my room wifey Sophia Chinaza, i had called my Personal Person Sofia Elvis, i thought of who to call between my three cool palz, Besty my best friend in coolval chatroom, Adeshewa my one and only cutie noona, or Shewa herself my female Besty.

Just when I wanted to decide on who to call i heard a knock on the door. I went to get the door as Dija came in.

“Hehe, think of the devil!”, I exclaimed making Dija fake a frown.

“Can I come in now?”, she said smirking her face.

“Yes, who am I to stop Her Grace from coming in” , I said in a flattering manner.

“Haaaaaaaaa… You will never seize to surprise me my sunshine”, she remarked laughing.

“I was born to surprise you and make you happy Nkemo while you were born to be my soul mate”, I explained smiling wildly as she walked in and sat on a chair in my room.

I was living in a one room self contained apartment in Okeodo, Tanke in Ilorin. Dija, Queency and I all got admitted two months ago to the prestigious University of Ilorin. While I was given sociology to study instead of the course I chose, accounting, Dija got her desired course to study Common Law while Queency on the other hand got admitted to study Medicine.

“Sunshine, what have you been up to?”, Dija asked as she got sited on a plastic chair in my room.

“Nothing much Nkemo, just chilling around”, I replied smiling sheepishly.

“But I’ve been trying your number and it was busy all through, hope you’re not dealing with those your call cheats again oo?”, she asked tickling me.

“Nooooooo Nkemo”, i shrugged on the bed because the tickle was quite ticklish. Dija sensed this and came closer tickling under my armpit as I kept laughing and pleasing with her to stop.

“When will you stop acting like JJC my love?, this is what evey young lover is doing nowadays”, she tried to make me reason with her as I put my head down feeling shy and scared.

“Its not my fault Nkemo, I’m just so scared of the later end of our to-be acts”, I tried to make her reason with me.

“Hahahaaahahahahahahahahahaahahahaha”, she laughed out loud, “you’re suffering from atavistic thinking baby boy, things don change, I brought a condom with me even without that, even without condom, there’s the withdrawal method where you withdraw your weapon before you release your white bullets, there’s also emergency pills which I could easily get in any store and take after strafing, what’s more, I could take pills too, so chilax baby and let’s do the needful”, Dija expertly explained making me wonder if she was really a virgin as she claimed.

“I understand you, I’ve even read about the withdrawal method in one of Onihazy’s story and also Snakie’s story, but you know I’m still a wannabe when it comes to strafing, I may be overwhelmed by the excitement of the occasion and shoot my bullets into you, what about the spiritual complications? since two bl0*ds will be joined together”, I countered Dija.

“Hahahahaa…you never seize to make me laugh, see as you dey act like Teletubby and you go dey form Casanova for Coolval Chatroom”, she remarked, “come here joor”, she requested as she drew closer to me putting her hands around my neck saying while she placed her mouth on my ear whispering sweet sounds to my ear which sent sensations all over my body. Before I knew it, I had a bulge and was shaking like someone about to be slaughtered by ritual killers.

Before i knew what was happening, I started kissing Dija, and I must admit, it was out of this world, I took my right hand to unbutton her blouse as her already hard bobby struggled out. Mehnnn , Dija’s bobby was so big ehnnn, I couldn’t help but attack the Bobby with my hand as Dija moaned. My shaking as stopped, my eyes shown with desperation to do what I’ve been fantasising about for years. She looked more beautiful unclad and irresistible. Mehnn, nah only if the world end right now I no go staff this babe.

“Ele mi, I need you inside of me, you’re the right person to take my essence as a lady away, staff me like there’s no tomorrow”, she begged pleadingly.

“Are you sure baby?”, I asked pretending as if I didn’t want it.

“Now please!, I want you inside of me now!”, she said with the s#xiest voice I’ve ever had.

Bang! Bang! Bang!, we heard the door sounding just as I was about to lunch my bolt. We refuse to answer and wanted to proceed. Bang! Bang!! Bang!!!, we heard again. O God, dat person whether born of woman or spirit go jam trailer die for destroying the most beautiful moment of my life, I cursed inwardly with anger. Dija and I quickly dressed up as I went to check the door in a Jack Bauer mood ready to beat demons out of that person. I got to the door and was surprised to see Aarti my number one crush in Unilorin who has been forming popularity for me. My Jack Bauer spirit quickly left me as I smiled.

“Good afternoon Sir”, Aarti greeted as I watched in awe as the ever pompous Aarti called me “Sir”.

“Afternoon ma’am”, I replied in accordance, “Bro, sis, ditto”, I greeted the two people she came with as they replied accordingly.

“We are from Salvation Believers Church and we came here to invite you to the Easter programme titled EASTER FIESTA coming up next week, the 27th of March, 2020 at Kano National Park, there will be free transportation to and fro for the first 100 people who put their name down willing to go”, she explained expertly.

“That will be hard o, you know the situation in the Northern Nigeria is so bad”…….”we will go, put our names down now before its too late”, Dija quickly cut me off.

“But Dija?”, I tried to make her reason with me but she was adamant as she put down both our details with Aarti who was quite happy with they development.

“But baby, why did you do that?, you know I hate travelling, and Kano is a scary place to be especially in festive periods like this with the men of Sambisa village roaming around looking for who to devour”, I tried to make Dija understand but she remained adamant. Since we started dating about one year ago, she has emasculated me, everything she says is always right and final, what’s most annoying is she never makes mistakes.

“Okay baby”, I reluctantly accepted.

“That’s my sunshine”, she said smiling sheepishly as she ran to hug me. A hug that immediately formatted all the complains I had about her. Maybe she was really a goddess. But I don’t know why I feel so uncomfortable about this trip.

—————————————————-
Ledan narrates
I was watching a movie on Africa Magic when my wife came in.

“My igala love, good evening!”, She greeted to my surprise because that was the first time in 16 years she called me that.

“Yes I.D, good evening, hope no problem because I know you don’t like watching movies”, I said after replying my wife’s greetings.

“Yes, there’s is! today is May 20, 2020”, she replied.

“So?”, I remarked.

“Its exactly one week to the First Bad Day grandma predicted, don’t you think we should tell our son now before its too late, it is better to make hay while the sun shine”, she explained.

“That’s the problem with women, they never listen, I’ve told you times without number to forget what a possessed woman said, let this be the last time I hear of this matter or you will face the broth”, I ordered in a fierce voice throwing Imabong aback.

“Okay, I’ve heard you my husband, but I know my God will fight for me”, she declared and left.

What Imabong didn’t know is I was more scared than her for our son’s life. He was my only pride and Joy. But there’s a popular addict that says “what you don’t know won’t kill you, its what you know that kills you”, I’m sire grandma was possessed when she said those things. That’s why I warned Imabong not to create problems that never existed.

—————————————————————————
Lia narrates
“EASTER FIESTA”, Lia reads out a post.

After reading the details, I decided I’ll attend at least go over there and jolly away the pains of loosing Ele to my besty for the past one year.

“Kano, here I come”, I let out a slight scream

TBC,,,

TBC

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Episode 17 Ritualist Den of Congo

March 27, 2020.
FIRST BAD DAY.

Ele narrates
We arrived at Kano National Park Hotel yesterday night and I must confess, it was one of the best experiences I have ever had. The food, the hospitality, the hotel conditions and what have you were just wow! I was in Paradise on earth. Dija and I had a great time together but we couldn’t do much of our usual smooching because we slept in the same room with the remaining 98 members whom the church paid for an all expense trip to Kano. I was indeed lucky. The journey I had feared about was very smooth with no dull moments as th clowns among us wanted to smash our ribs with of unearthly jokes. Dija made the right choice after all. Since she came into my life, everything as been so perfect that I sometimes wonder if she’s a goddess reincarnate.

Kano National park was anything beyond the most intelligent humans imaginations. If someone had described Kano National Park the way I was seeing it now, I would have told such a person to go for check up ASAP. The wildlife, the archaic rocks, the beautiful landscape, fauna and flora, and the likes were just a cynosure to behold. I bet even Yankari National Park in Bauchi wouldn’t be up to this. Who says Nigeria cannot be a world centre of tourism?. If it is well broadcast to the world, it would become as popular as some of the best National Parks in the world such as Serengeti and Yosemite National Parks. The sounding of my phone message tone jolted me from my reverie. It was a message from my mom which surprised me though because she only called always. I didn’t tell her I came to Kano because she would never have allowed me and I felt so bad about lying to her but I couldn’t disappoint Dija either. I opened the message to read what mum sent. It reads:

Good morning my son,
I saw this message on Facebook and decided to bless you with it
.
.
AYO is JOY in Yoruba This prayer of AYO is for you today. Every endeavour of yours will surely DAYO. When you go out you will RAYO. When you come in you will KAYODE. Every place u go u shall BAYO. When people visit you they will MAYOWA. You and your friends in school will continue to SHAYO. Everyday of your life you will LAYO. God will make everything that concerns you to DAYO and its gonna be TITILAYO for you by the grace of God Almighty.
Do a have AYOFUL day and be careful in all you engage in today.
Mum loves Ele.

I was moved to tears, I began to regret not telling her about my trip to Kano, but I was sirei everything would be fine.

“Ele!!!”, I heard a voice screamed my name in front of me. It was no other person than Diva herself, “what are you thinking about?”, I’ve been calling your name for about a minute now but you were so carried away”, she frowned.

“I’m sorry Nkemo, I was so carried away by the resplendent beauty of this tourist centre that I got so engrossed to notice the presence of Her Grace herself”, I replied flattering her as she gave me a soft pat on my chest.

“Sunshine, let’s go over there, there’s a dance competition, I would love to partake in it, come and watch your Nkemo have a flawless victory”, she said smiling confidently while pointing to the place the dance was taking place. Without further ado, I followed my Nkemo to the place as we held hands like the perfect lover we her.
——————————————————————-
Lia narrates
It was the fifth time I was going to the toilet today and the programme hadn’t started yet. I had taken a lot of sugary substances and the result was toileting at least thrice per hour. Now I know all that glitters is not gold. I quickly entered one of the toilets to ease my self. I tried closing my mouth so as not to cause commotion as the deification process was tough. Then I heard sth strange from the adjoining toilet. A man’s voice. I became scared that a rapist might have infiltrated the females toilet.

“Yes sir… The bomb is set to go off at 10:00 hours when the programme officially commences… Yes sir… everything is ready..”, the strange man who had a polished English accent was supposedly making a call.

I checked my time and it was 09:47 am, just 13 minutes more. I let out a slight scream and suddenly the man in the adjoining toilet became so silent, I knew I was in trouble. I didn’t know what to do since I came alone. Then a thought suddenly came to my mind. I had to try my luck. I unbolted the door, the man came rushing in but I was fast enough to pour the toilet water full oft faeces on him as he struggled, I ran as fast as I could while I checked my time, it was 9:52 am, 8 minutes before the time bomb is detonated. I was confused of who to tell, I just kept on running so hard until I almost fell, but someone caught me before I could fall, I thought my end was here.

I looked up to see Ele looking at me in confusion, so was the entire crowd including Dija my besty who was standing on the podium. I was short of words to find them also in Kano to attend the Easter Fiesta. I then remembered the bomb and knew I had to say something before we all died here.

“I was being chased by a terrorist….. A bomb…..a bomb …. A bomb will explode in five minutes time”, managed to say before looking up only to find out everyone had already started running helter skelter. I didn’t dull o, I tore race at once, I wasn’t ready to die now.

I was running so fast in a way even Usain Bolt won’t catch up with me even if he uses PED. I was getting tired when a Benza suddenly parked in front of me.

“Get in kiddo” a young man in suit said with a serious expression. Without thinking twice, I hopped into the car thanking God for saving my life and using me to save others. Just as the car zoomed off, we heard a loud bang. I looked back and saw flames everywhere. The bomb was not an hoax, it was real, God is really merciful, I appreciated Go inwardly, just then, my vision became blur, as I drifted slowly into a state of unconsciousness.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I woke up in fairly lit room. I looked around and saw some other people I recognised from the Easter Fiesta. I checked my time and it was 1:34 pm that same day. I wondered what had happened, I was about asking a girl sitting next to me when i noticed a familiar figure sleeping on the floor. It was Ele, my Ele Boje.

“Ele, wake up”, i said tapping him. He did wake up as he cleaned his eyes.

“Lia, where are we?”, he asked looking confused.

“Welcome to Congo, the number one Human Part Merchants in Africa”, A middle aged revealed as we all put on a frightened look. It was then I knew what true fear meant as I urinated in my pantss. I looked around and saw skeletons and bones around the floor. I hadn’t seen them before. A huge man came in holding a bl0*dstained knife. He picked up a boy. He was the first boy who talked to me when I arrived the hotel in Kano. There and then it downed on my we were in a ritualist den. The ritualist den of Congo. I began to cry as Ele was face was also filled with fears and tears hugged me tight.

—————————————————————————-
Ledan narrates
I was sitting down in then living room watching the midday news with my wife. They are reporting about an averted bombing in Kano National Park.

“This is the first time in history a female would become a superhero”, I said playfully prompting Imabong to give me a deadly look.

“Oya nah vex nah, my calabar love, haba sey your husby fit play with you again nii?”, I said feigning rrepentance.

“I know you weren’t joking, you’ve always underestimated women from time immemorial”, Imabong countered.

“When did you become a feminist?”, I asked feigning seriousness.

“Hubby, did you hear that, Ele and Lia’s names were mentioned as missing after the bombing incident.

“Are you alright I.D, Ele is in Ilorin, when did Ilorin become Kano?”, I asked really angered. Just then, my phone rang including my wives phone. The callers confirmed they heard Ele’s name on T.V. Akande also called to confirm he heard both our children’s name on T.V. I was so flabbergasted. Is the First Bad Day really becoming a reality?. Another call jolted me from my reverie. I wanted to ignore it at first but something pushed me to pick it.

Stranger: hello
Me: yes
Stranger: I’m certain I’m speaking with Mr.Ledan?
Me: yes, that’s me.
Stranger: good, your son Ele Ledan is here with us, you have seven days to produce the sum of ten million naira for the release of your boy.
Me: what?, where do you want me to get such a huge amount of money?
Stranger: how dare you ask me such questions, it seems we have been to generous to you, now ill teach you a lesson, for everyday you fail to provide the money starting from today, your son will loose a finger, and if you fail to provide it after seven days, your son’s severed head will be sent to you in a parcel
Me: please sir.. I’m very sorry sir, please don’t hurt my son, I’ll try my best to do as you require..
Stranger: I don’t need you best but you money, remember you have seven days and don’t even risk informing the police because they are one of us.

He hang up the call before in would say another word as my wife was already on the floor crying, she gave me a deadly look of “I warned you”. I was at fault, I didn’t take to my wife’s advise. Grandma’s Prophecy indeed came true. “God of Daniel, please save my son from the lion’s den”, I prayed.


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