THERE is always this subtle competition or should we say rivalry between a man and his children when it comes to getting the woman’s attention in the home. Only a man who does not want to face reality will deny the fact that this happens once in a while in the home.

Most men have had cause to complain that their wives, at one time or the other, had neglected them and focussed all their attention on their children.

Do not get me wrong; there is nothing wrong in this kind of situation. It is what we, sometimes refer to as a “healthy rivalry” but, of course, there is the tendency that, once in a while, some people take this too far.

When a situation like this surfaces,with the woman’s affection tilted to a side to the detriment of the other, it could lead to problems in the home. That is why as mothers, it is very important for us to ask God for wisdom to be able to strike a balance between our relationship with our children and husbands.

God will never allow us to choose. Ameen!


_{But children come first.}

Both are very important

without the man, no child, without the child, no future wife and husbands.
SO both important

If your husband is 'your better half', and both of you are 'one', then he comes first.

Solidify your relationship before kids. I would like to believe that if you do that, then you wouldn't have to choose, your family will be a unit.

coolier:

If your husband is 'your better half', and both of you are 'one', then he comes first.

ummmm and what will make the husband not to be better half, or make them not to be one/
i guess you referring to all the gbetus

good question!
but u can't compare ur husband with ur kids. different levels of important

africhika:

good question!
but u can't compare your husband with your kids. different levels of important

wonderfully said, besides some husband are just like kids.

IMO, I think the children are more important cuz if you bring a life into this world you are responsible for that life. and your partner should understand why he comes second to the kids. your husband can fend for himself, but your kids depend on you.

ima1:

IMO, I think the children are more important cuz if you bring a life into this world you are responsible for that life. and your partner should understand why he comes second to the kids. your husband can fend for himself, but your kids depend on you.

remember your children are still your kids, even when they are 40 years old, so at that point when they can fend for themselves and all that, who will now be more important, would you now change your mind and say the husband?

The kids definitely come first.

^^^ ok oh.

chic2pimp:

The kids definitely come first.

[b]I concur. [/b]I hate when women pick their husbands over children. If you bring children into the world, you are in charge and they are your responsibility.

I used to be of the train of thought that children come first but now I know better.

chika98:

I used to be of the train of thought that children come first but now I know better.

you don't have children do u ?

POSAKOSA1:


you don't have children do u ?

must the individual had to have kids to know what they want?

Doesn't have anything to do with my stand on the issue.

chika98:

I used to be of the train of thought that children come first but now I know better.

Choosing a Man over your Kids is a 'no no'.

Chicken2roast: This isnt about choosing just any man. He is the man I fell in love with and married hence those children were born out of love. That being said, children are blessings from God and that's what they are. You and i both know that not everyone gets that. Again they shouldnt be the reason people marry. Children are to be loved and cared for. So, you spend all your time on your kids and when they leave the house what then happens? Couples should put each other first because you were first a couple before a parent. Remember that when you marry

Depends.

But my children comes first.

chika98:

Chicken2roast: This isnt about choosing just any man. He is the man I fell in love with and married hence those children were born out of love. That being said, children are blessings from God and that's what they are. You and i both know that not everyone gets that. Again they shouldnt be the reason people marry. Children are to be loved and cared for. So, you spend all your time on your kids and when they leave the house what then happens? Couples should put each other first because you were first a couple before a parent. Remember that when you marry

Remember wetin? IMHO,once you become a parent,the house dynamics automically changes. The kids become your no1 priority. I ain't saying you should totally ignore your partner however he/she must learn to compromise.

lets agree to disagree. We could argue this all night long.

FL Gators:

Depends.

But my children comes first.

chika98:

lets agree to disagree. We could argue this all night long.

Okiez

@ poster, i don't mean to interrrupt put this is a tough question considering the sentiments i have as a guy.

chika98:

Doesn't have anything to do with my stand on the issue.

u dont have children.

Would you rather loose a child at birth, or loose a husband 6 months after you lot just got married?


Both are important in this world, but without that man there wouldnt be any pikin in the first place, a man leaves his parents and cling to his wife, they both become one? your kids first, who will be with you in the same house after those kids are gone? who provides for those kids? who shares the same bed with you all day? who went to the altar with you pledging to love until death do you part?

All this ones saying kids first, i would have said same a couple of years ago, wait make una marry, una go tell me if una pikin go live with una till them grow beards, or leave una for house and go start their own family

!amebo no1:

Would you rather loose a child at birth, or loose a husband 6 months after you lot just got married?


Both are important in this world, but without that man there wouldnt be any pikin in the first place, a man leaves his parents and cling to his wife, they both become one? your kids first, who will be with you in the same house after those kids are gone? who provides for those kids? who shares the same bed with you all day? who went to the altar with you pledging to love until death do you part?

All this ones saying kids first, i would have said same a couple of years ago, wait make una marry, una go tell me if una pikin go live with una till them grow beards, or leave una for house and go start their own family

Both are important, you say. But it is impossible to give both equal attention. Impossible!

Fhemmmy:


remember your children are still your kids, even when they are 40 years old, so at that point when they can fend for themselves and all that, who will now be more important, would you now change your mind and say the husband?

well yes, when your kids are able to fend for themselves then you would have more time for your hubby, but like i said before, the hubby has to understand, and put the kids first too (in a situation where both can't be No. 1,)

FL Gators:

Both are important, you say. But it is impossible to give both equal attention. Impossible!

yes very impossible, thats why my husband comes first before anybody, the kids are limited, there are things i do with my husband, i can do with my kids, my kids cant make love to me at night, my kids cant provide for me,my kids wont be with me until i am old and grey, they will leave the house some day,who will stay with me? my kids will leave for the uni some day who will be there with me? who has always been there before the kids came into this world? my husband is the pillar i hold on to, if i cant hold on to that pillar first, how will i be able to care for the kids?

!amebo no1:

yes very impossible, thats why my husband comes first before anybody, the kids are limited, there are things i do with my husband, i can do with my kids, my kids cant make love to me at night, my kids cant provide for me,my kids wont be with me until i am old and grey, they will leave the house some day,who will stay with me? my kids will leave for the uni some day who will be there with me? who has always been there before the kids came into this world? my husband is the pillar i hold on to, if i cant hold on to that pillar first, how will i be able to care for the kids?

You've said it all

chika98:

You've said it all

people say kids without thinking first

whose shoulder do we women cry on? who do we share our fears with? who do we confide in? who stays with us even when things go bad? my husband is like a solid rock i stand on, when he comforts me and gives me happiness, then i can reach out to the kids, how will i be there for my kids,when the relationship i have with my husband is sour? when there is peace between parents, both parents are then able to give the kids the best care and love they can ever ask for