Guys I need your advice... my husband and I have been married for 6 years in those six years I can count how many times we made love simply cos he can go weeks without asking okay I have been the one asking more than he does but now I feel he should know his obligation s as a husband and I have discussed it over and over again but he seems not to have changed he only ask for sex when he feels like having sex which might be twice or once a month. I like sex but I can do without it however am concern about the future of a marriage without a committed emotional attachment... what should I do?

Discuss the more.

U guyz did not fvck before marriage

Well I like kwaff but at the same time, I am somehow like ur husband..

Find out if things re bothering him, what is the family finance like

I happen to be someone when things ain't going as planned I get bothered a lot nd when it does woman nd fork is the last thing on my mind.

Also find out if he masturbates, cous chronic masturbators finds sex stressful.

The guy above me has a point, however, u should also check urself and see if u don't present urself in a way to stimulate his sexual urges.. Go to the market and get very seductive wears solely for the purpose of making him wanna have u.Don't use wrapper on urself while gng to bed, bath and use light makeup,rub a nice but very light powder, get bump shorts, transparent pink night gown that will leave Ur mamary glands revealing,

lemme stop der for now!!!

Increase the level of communication with him and also try and check if there other things bothering him, because his libido is low ( I don't know if it is just towards you) I guess you know what I mean, and also check yourself if you are boring in bed, that makes him never wanting more within a short space of time, because I like to you know that anywhere the sugar ant knows that he can always access sugar, he will always come back for more, men are crazy about great sex (no disrespect to you), they will never have enough.

And again was he like this during courtship, that is if you guys did it before marriage.

I wish you well.

Really? One man's meat is another man's poison. Maybe we should trade places for a month. "" ""
Just joking.

Do you have kids? Do you know whether he does it outside? or find out if he masturbates like somebody said earlier. I got a few days off work and my hubby has been indoors with me, he decided to give himself a break too, of course not solicited but we'll both return to our hustle next week. What manner of man is your husband, is he fasting? Or your appearance isn't thrilling him? Has he been like that all the time you were dating or earlier in your marriage? Is he suffering from any ailment? Answer these questions and let's go from there.

Thanks to you all for the responces well I try to look good all the time I wear shorts once am home and yes we have kids. What I observe in him is that he is kind of lazy on everything in the house but I thought that should be different with intimacy.
My husband thinks a lot eventhough we are not doing bad financially but he is a perfectionist who gets bothered by little things. Haven ever caught him cheating so am not sure if he does outside runs as well... I just believe a man should not compromise his intimacy with his wife cos of any situation you should find comfort there

Hmmmmmmmm...but how did two sexually incompatible folks get married? I heard that once the initial gragra of wanting to swallow each other wears off, couple settle into each other( Convo, companionship...yadayadayada). The only thing that keeps the flame flamey is awesome seexx. How una wan take do am now o...Biko no gree. Awake that desire by force by fire, how that will be done is beyond me


By the way, have you learnt to twerk? A monkey was teaching me lately, if you don't have two left legs like me, I think it might be a good start. Good luck.

I think the foundation of the marriage needs to be x-rayed. Was it built on love? Money? Pity? Parental influence? Peer pressure? If not on no 1, then the situation is as old as your marriage. I am living with a woman I don't love, I give her sex when she wants it but for me to initiate it? Na till infinity be that. Seriously if it is foundational, then endure or quit but if he suddenly developed that attitude then something is bothering him. It could be occupational pressure, financial stress, suppressed emotional/temperamental outburst. Try to figure out and help him pass the phase.

Dadasamuel08:
Guys I need your advice... my husband and I have been married for 6 years in those six years I can count how many times we made love simply cos he can go weeks without asking okay I have been the one asking more than he does but now I feel he should know his obligation s as a husband and I have discussed it over and over again but he seems not to have changed he only ask for sex when he feels like having sex which might be twice or once a month. I like sex but I can do without it however am concern about the future of a marriage without a committed emotional attachment... what should I do?

Madam, he does it once or twice a month and you're complaining?, na wa o!, well what do i know sef.

Op check my signature, hope it can be of help to you .You need it

Me thinks ur punny disappointed him on first taste. It might be too wide or too dry and he dreads visiting it He only visits cos of kOnnjy which shows up once or twice a month.
Do a self search and get a solution. If you get dry easily start using lubricants if it's the size try kegels.
Most men will not tell you the problem to avoid embarrassing you and if you don't act fast and he gets the "ideal" one outside the house your next thread will be he touches me once in a decade.

hello dadasamuel08, i feel the main purpose of sex in intimacy has been missed here which is communication-of the bodies. verbal-communication betwix you two seems to be low from your guesses of 'is he?', 'i don't know if ...'. so, talk to him first.

also who says the rule is that the man must be the crixus of capua should always demand first. even if his libido is lower and you feel the need for some gidi gidi time with your own legally married hubby, grab him and let your bodies do the talking.

the funny thing might be he does not want to disturb you while you are worrying yourself upandan over what is no issue at all hence my saying you should first build up your verbal communication and not let guesses rule the day. go rock girl!

teemy:
hello dadasamuel08, i feel the main purpose of sex in intimacy has been missed here which is communication-of the bodies. verbal-communication betwix you two seems to be low from your guesses of 'is he?', 'i don't know if ...'. so, talk to him first.

It's just sad for me to say he doesn't value intimacy he prefers to stay in the living room when am the room he also prefers his phone than talking to me most of the time this has been a major concern. I think all he wants is just children it's a good thing for a man to love his kids no doubt but he has put them in BTW us once he calls to talk to them he wouldn't bother to talk to me again each time he is out. He doesn't know the value of marriage as he handles everything like a child. We are totally opposit

teemy:
the funny thing might be he does not want to disturb you while you are worrying yourself upandan over what is no issue at all hence my saying you should first build up your verbal communication and not let guesses rule the day. go rock girl!

Well if I have been talking about same issue for about 6 years he should know it's important and look for ways to get better at it. But it's same whole thinģ

teemy:
also who says the rule is that the man must be the crixus of capua should always demand first. even if his libido is lower and you feel the need for some gidi gidi time with your own legally married hubby, grab him and let your bodies do the talking.

You are right but I feel it should be both ways not one sided.... we should both desire each other

teemy:
hello dadasamuel08, i feel the main purpose of sex in intimacy has been missed here which is communication-of the bodies. verbal-communication betwix you two seems to be low from your guesses of 'is he?', 'i don't know if ...'. so, talk to him first.

The truth is he doesn't talk as much with me at home but talkrtive outside how do I deal with that? if I try to open that channel he doesn't show much intrest as he got so much attachment with his phones. So am relapse too most of the time and this has lingered on an on

@Dadasamuel08 i now get you. first possibility - did you guys have a fight related to sex in the past such that it seemed to him that you just used him as a child making dispenser and had no time thereafter for his need requests with excuses?

second being you condemned his likes critically in the past and he felt the need not to be near your to hear them. say does he play video games and you loath it believing it is for kids. somehow it seems he is subconsciously drawing away from you.

you don't have a sex problem with hubby but rather a basic communication problem. sex is the height of how close you want to be with someone you admire. from touch to kissing to caressing to penetrating one another. if we could go in deeper we would.

the distance is sign enough that something is amiss. now if you can resolve hubby not wanting to be in the same area as you then every other domino falls in place. trying now to force yourself to like his likes might be counterproductive but do this

tell him you are sorry for downplaying his hobbies in the past and you would do so no more. you would however appreciate him spending time with you when he is less busy. over time you would notice him even reducing his alone time to be with you as...

you work up the ladder starting with slight touchings then being in one another's arms doing nothing but just enjoying the presence and then to heavy petting and smoochings. all gradually. should in case you had relegated him in the past as being ...

lesser than the kids your new attitude would convince him that you are his. one thing though and this should not come as a shock, he could have found solace in another's arms while he had his meltdown. do not be angry if this is so but rather

forgive him and with time let him make his decision. if you meet this other hypothetical lady befriend her and lovingly talk to her and let her tell you hubby's complaints so you can work on them. encourage her to have another - seriously no fights

i hope you have a nanny because once the screws get loosened you guys would be on a wave unlike any you've ever seen before. confession of sins would happen and new trust would awaken. avoid conflicts always and if an issue arises an easy yes is ...

achievable during romp time (or how do you think sister delilah got bro samson even when it was obvious what she was after). i hope somehow i have answered you but in case i was off the mark with my assumptions do drop the facts and i would be ...

glad to reply with respect to that. smile young woman, smile. Wishing you well - Teemy

teemy:
glad to reply with respect to that. smile young woman, smile. Wishing you well - Teemy

Wow...Thanks so much for the encouragement am lifted to an extent thinking about your suggestions and adadvice the truth is you really touched on things that have gone wrong with us and I never thought of it all along. one thing I know is I won't live my home for nayone and prepared to do AL within my reach to help my relationship...Thanks so much

bolof2010:
Wow...Thanks so much for the encouragement

you're welcome ma'am.