Goodday all ive been a guest here decided to register today. I have an issue bothering me my Fiance family members are saying they are scared if their son marry me i will be doing `me and my husband only`pls i have never been married hence i dont knw d meaning of this statement pls all can u help explain this term to me? Thanks

cc: greatgod2012, phema, RoyalRoy etc

Sorry, I have never been married.
I don't know sha


But whatever it means,
Please don't do 'me and husband only'



Do they expect you to come and be doing ' me and my husband, his parents, his siblings, his cousins, his uncles and aunties and friends'

It means u won't allow them , his family near your husband or even allow them to visit him and also request for financial aids , If their financial situation is tight.
U will basically chase them away, immediately u guys get married.

So it's possible u are not friendly towards them, that's why they see You that way..
That's what it means. So sis, try and be friendly to an extent towards them.

Amelian:
It means u won't allow them , his family near your husband or even allow them to visit him and also request for financial aids , If their financial situation is tight.
U will basically chase them away, immediately u guys get married.
So it's possible u are not friendly towards them, that's why they see You that way..
That's what it means. So sis, try and be friendly to an extent towards them.

Not like i am not friendly towards them just that i distance myself sometimes to avoid issues and i am the quiet type i hardly talk or contribute to their issues especially the one that does not concern me. seems they are misinterpreting my person then.

pls all the married couples or not married pls help

cc: greatgod2012, phema, RoyalRoy etc

@ qqueen. They might just be having that fear for reason best known to them . After a while u could be their favorite. Moreover , ur husby could be a first son and some MILs don't joke with their son . Ur best bet is to be friendly as much as u can but have it at the back of your mind that u can't please everybody all the time , all of the time and at the same time . Whenever ur hubby try to give something to his parents always oblige him to do more for them . Wish u d best

babs50g:
@ qqueen. They might just be having that fear for reason best known to them . After a while u could be their favorite. Moreover , ur husby could be a first son and some MILs don't joke with their son . Ur best bet is to be friendly as much as u can but have it at the back of your mind that u can't please everybody all the time , all of the time and at the same time . Whenever ur hubby try to give something to his parents always oblige him to do more for them . Wish u d best

He is not the first Son and its not even his mother in Law that said such but his siblings wives o and maybe his siblings i guess they all said so but definitely not his mum. Thanks for the advice

qqueen:
Not like i am not friendly towards them just that i distance myself sometimes to avoid issues and i am the quiet type i hardly talk or contribute to their issues especially the one that does not concern me. seems they are misinterpreting my person then.

pls all the married couples or not married pls help

cc: greatgod2012, phema, RoyalRoy etc

U don't need to distance yourself from them. They will feel u are proud. They wont feel u are quiet. Someone like me, am a very quiet person and I can stay indoors from morning till night. You won't know am at home. But as soon as am stepping out of my door, to the outside world. Am different person entirely, I smile, I gist playfully, and I engage people. In interesting conversations , they will be wow, beaming with smiles, and the people around me are happy.
I cultivate this second personality all because of my biz. And thats one secret that is taking me far in my career and biz.
But A quiet person, out side the safety of your home? Is a No No.. People tend to withdraw from and don't wish to be close to Such person. Cause they will see one as proud or arrogant. My friend her 3million Naira biz collapsed because one of her flaw is been too quiet and dull at her own biz.
It's just how people are.
So about your in laws. Of course u don't need to butt Into their family issues that doesn't concern u. But inbetween, u can talk about something funny u noticed on your way to either a supermarket or to work or to school.
Also u can compliment his sisters and aunts and mum, whenever they look sweet. Or if they've made a new hairdo, u stylishly compliment and smiles and say Awww how u wish u have their kind of thick strong hair.. Or eye lashes.. Wow

They will chuckle or smile at u.. From there, they start warming up to u. If his mum. Or older aunt, pls dear bring my bag for me.. It's ontoP of the drawer, u will smile and go for it. All these little things they watch and they will send u.. To know if u are the humble type or not.
Cause whether u like it or not? U need to warm. Up to his family. And be fun to associate with.
Me, personally I don't like too quiet people even though am quiet at home lol.

U can see the irony
So try and loosen up around them abit

It helps both at home, at work and with business. In fact in life in general.

Amelian:




U don't need to distance yourself from them. They will feel u are proud. They wont feel u are quiet. Someone like me, am a very quiet person and I can stay indoors from morning till night. You won't know am at home. But as soon as am stepping out of my door, to the outside world. Am different person entirely, I smile, I gist playfully, and I engage people. In interesting conversations , they will be wow, beaming with smiles, and the people around me are happy.
I cultivate this second personality all because of my biz. And thats one secret that is taking me far in my career and biz.
But A quiet person, out side the safety of your home? Is a No No.. People tend to withdraw from and don't wish to be close to Such person. Cause they will see one as proud or arrogant. My friend her 3million Naira biz collapsed because one of her flaw is been too quiet and dull at her own biz.
It's just how people are.
So about your in laws. Of course u don't need to butt Into their family issues that doesn't concern u. But inbetween, u can talk about something funny u noticed on your way to either a supermarket or to work or to school.
Also u can compliment his sisters and aunts and mum, whenever they look sweet. Or if they've made a new hairdo, u stylishly compliment and smiles and say Awww how u wish u have their kind of thick strong hair.. Or eye lashes.. Wow

They will chuckle or smile at u.. From there, they start warming up to u. If his mum. Or older aunt, pls dear bring my bag for me.. It's ontoP of the drawer, u will smile and go for it. All these little things they watch and they will send u.. To know if u are the humble type or not.
Cause whether u like it or not? U need to warm. Up to his family. And be fun to associate with.
Me, personally I don't like too quiet people even though am quiet at home lol.

U can see the irony
So try and loosen up around them abit

It helps both at home, at work and with business. In fact in life in general.

Ok o thanks

qqueen:
Goodday all ive been a guest here decided to register today. I have an issue bothering me my Fiance family members are saying they are scared if their son marry me i will be doing `me and my husband only`pls i have never been married hence i dont knw d meaning of this statement pls all can u help explain this term to me? Thanks

cc: greatgod2012, phema, RoyalRoy etc

@op, it simply mean that once you're married to your husband, you will do everything possible to make him all yours alone at their expense. It means you won't allow him to be close to them like before, it means they're thinking that you will create an unseen bridge between them. So many meanings my sister but all pointing towards the same thing...... And that thing is simply the fear of losing their son to you. The fear that depicts you wouldn't want them around you and your husband.



What can you do?

1. Be yourself around them, let them know who you really are, you claim to be introverted, whenever you're around, do not fake it, let it be known.

2. See and make yourself part of the family. Anytime you're around them, make yourself comfortable with them and let them also be comfortable around you. Don't be unnecessarily quiet whenever your opinion sought for, and don't ask them to wait for your man on a matter you can personally solve.

3. Treat your MIL like your own mother, because, to be honest with you, you can't claim to love your husband and not loving his mom, it's a very good way to have rest of mind in your marital life.

4. Do not expect too much from anyone of them, no one is perfect, that being in you won't make you to bevtoo aggrieved whenever there's any conflict.


5. Show them love, rejoice with them when they're rejoicing, mourn with them whenthey're mourning. See them as part of your family.


Doing all these and more will suppress their fears and what they're thinking about you.





This is simply my opinion, you're not obliged to accept it.

And for those who do not agree with me, remember, it's my personal opinion.

qqueen:
Ok o thanks

You are welcome dear

greatgod2012:

@op, it simply mean that once you're married to your husband, you will do everything possible to make him all yours alone at their expense. It means you won't allow him to be close to them like before, it means they're thinking that you will create an unseen bridge between them. So many meanings my sister but all pointing towards the same thing...... And that thing is simply the fear of losing their son to you. The fear that depicts you wouldn't want them around you and your husband.
What can you do?
1. Be yourself around them, let them know who you really are, you claim to be introverted, whenever you're around, do not fake it, let it be known.
2. See and make yourself part of the family. Anytime you're around them, make yourself comfortable with them and let them also be comfortable around you. Don't be unnecessarily quiet whenever your opinion sought for, and don't ask them to wait for your man on a matter you can personally solve.
3. Treat your MIL like your own mother, because, to be honest with you, you can't claim to love your husband and not loving his mom, it's a very good way to have rest of mind in your marital life.
4. Do not expect too much from anyone of them, no one is perfect, that being in you won't make you to bevtoo aggrieved whenever there's any conflict.
5. Show them love, rejoice with them when they're rejoicing, mourn with them whenthey're mourning. See them as part of your family.
Doing all these and more will suppress their fears and what they're thinking about you.
This is simply my opinion, you're not obliged to accept it.
And for those who do not agree with me, remember, it's my personal opinion.

Hmnn thanks for these i am really learning new things here.

Nothing outside the literal meaning: you and your bobo.

Him and his sisi.

She and her him.

Him and his her.

Them and themselves.

It is well...

They made a statement, instead of you to ask them you carry the statement come for job seekers association to help you interprete and conclude. Ngwanu



Tomorrow you carry another statement come paste for nairaland

Pls learn to ask for clarification directly from ppl instead of assumptions gotten from unknown users

Tenks

It means that you will be selfish with your husband's wealth and you won't let them in you people's life.

I don't think it has to do with money.

I hope you've not been discouraging your man from spending some time with his family? I don't know how women do this but marriage with some women can make a man forget his root, his family, his village and if care is not taken, his language.

If you won't allow your kids speak their father's indigenous language because of civilization; at least allow him take them home to spend some time with grand pa Some women can go craz..y when issues like this come up. Don't make your marriage a bondage, that's the motive of the caution.

Richy4:
There is a possibility that they have been gaining or deriving some material or monetary assistant from the man...

If you happens to come into the picture as a wife, you might block the whole thing...They must have seen some signs you displayed...but do not let that disturb you at all, you can't please everyone on earth..

I have never displayed any of those signs i am even the one that always encourage him most times to get them few things. I even get them things too most times when my Fiance dont have.

Acidosis:
I don't think it has to do with money.

I hope you've not been discouraging your man from spending some time with his family? I don't know how women do this but marriage with some women can make a man forget his root, his family, his village and if care is not taken, his language.

If you won't allow your kids speak their father's indigenous language because of civilization; at least allow him take them home to spend some time with grand pa Some women can go craz..y when issues like this come up. Don't make your marriage a bondage, that's the motive of the caution.

Lol ok thanks

It's pretty self explanatory, you only think about yourself and husband, what's there not to understand?