baby124:
Always tell kids the truth in a way they understand. It saves you a lot of stress. Lies never make sense to the intelligent ones and they will keep asking questions that can almost make you commit. Tell them their dad is in heaven and looking out for them from there. Tell them you do not have a lot of money but are trying your best.
Tell them things are hard in the country for everyone but they can make their requests and put it in a request box with no guarantee they will get any of the requests answered. Then you have no pressure and you can attend to the requests at your own time. Also teach them to write out their thoughts in a diary and take time to go through it. You know you are busy. You may not have the time to really know what is going on in their lives.
Teach them about money, contentment and how to manage, and it will take them far in life. Being a good parent is not based on how many material things you give them but the lessons you teach them. Life is not easy, so trying to shelter them is not helping them.
Let them start doing small chores to help you in the house and you can pay them a small token and from there teach them about saving and spending. Manage yourself and live within your means and all will be well. I know it is not easy but try to pace yourself at work so that you are not so tired after work, and you can have at least 1hr with your kids! Find out about their day and help with their homework. Let them help you with dinner if possible during that time so you can all bond. They grow so fast and you will not be happy that you spent their growing years a big time depressed and angry person.
Your husband is gone sadly, accept it and know that you cannot take his place or fill that void, you can only do your best to help them through life. Please don't also be in a hurry to find outside men to fill that void. Even if you remarry, leave their dad's place in their life and respect that.
Have a good system for them that when it's time for bed. It's time for bed, and when they are in bed, they are not allowed out of their room expect to use the toilet. You need to have a working routine or things can get out of hand and overwhelm you.
Don't be angry at those that are not keeping their promises to you. Everyone is struggling themselves and trying to survive. The truth is when we lose a loved one, we think everyone should stop their lives because our life seems to have stopped and we are stuck. But the truth is life goes on. If we don't get on with life, we may not survive the loss. Sad to say but you have to pick up all your broken pieces and move on with life for your kids at least.
Only when you experience loss do you truly realize that in this life, you are on your own. You can't rely on anyone. Everyone is out looking for their daily bread and soon will forget all the promises they made to you. Never hang your future on any promise. Humans mostly disappoint and it's not intentional. It's survival.

very well said and nothing more to add..

Bleble24 ((Hugs))) there is no manual that comes with parenting especially now having to deal with great loss. Take baby 124's practical advise and I am sure it will be well with you

damiso:


very well said and nothing more to add..

Bleble24 ((Hugs))) there is no manual that comes with parenting especially now having to deal with great loss. Take baby 124's practical advise and I am sure it will be well with you

Thank you.

[quote author=bleble24 post=51671298]He's late. [/quotur

Children this days are smarter than u can imagine.....sit them down and discuss it with dem...not amist tears(as i no u will do) just be courageous.God is ur strength..... He will not leave or forsake u

[quote author=missingribs post=51941797][/quote]

Mmmmm

It is well my sister. . . . She will get over it. Children are like that.

Meanwhile I seem to remember a thread like this on Nld one time when someone lost a spouse and had to raise his kids alone. People were more sympathetic and willingly offered help. I wonder why this thread is so scanty and 'lifeless' . . . . . Maybe women don't get as much sympathy on Nairaland!

You are a great mum. To even pick up the pieces and continue on shows your strength of character. You will be fine. Love them, discipline them and comfort them. Tell them the truth too abt their dad's whereabout.

Whenever you feel too sad, look at your children and be grateful for them. Your husband is gone, but he lives on in them. Be thankful you still have a part of him left in them.

Years to come, they will love you more and appreciate your sacrifice. May they live long and become your glory.

Kisses and hugs. It will be well.

bleble24:
He's late.

....Awwww sad to know

bleble24:


Mmmmm

I'd love to put a smile on the faces of your little kids.

If you don't mind, please send me a pm.

Cheers!

sisisioge:
Awwww baby...so very sorry for your loss. It is well.

Truth is, your kids will love you so much when they become adults, with great understanding of your sacrifice. However, you might go through some rough times with them during their teenage years. Pls let them know their daddy isn't ever coming back as soon as you could make them understand it. It's really important. Also, talk to them like they are adults already(funny, right?) I'm talking about decision process. Then let them see just how much you crave their love too.

My friend lost her husband last year to the cold hands of death too. Hers was so dotty on the kids that those younguns realised daddy was 'really' missing in no time. What she did was to step on the gas by showing them more love, talking to them the best she could and working just as hard to take care of them. Yes, they still fill my eyes with tears with stories of the the country their dad is in o, guess she couldn't just tell them he's never coming back. The boy is so smart with very active imagination plus guy has serious EQ, he would take one look at her and say things like "mommy don't worry ok... everything will be alright". God help us, children are really smarter than we give them credit for...talk to yours. Her daughter was 3yrs when it happened, girl listens too( though my favorite Iya has always been cool). Hmmmm, though their mom could be scattered at times like outrightly breaking down into tears in front of them when smallsmall things happen o, those kids have no doubts their mommy loves them to bits.

^{Whew! I should go visit the family today sef}

You really need to!

kaboninc:


I'd love to put a smile on the faces of your little kids.

If you don't mind, please send me a pm.

Cheers!

Sent sir.

bleble24:


Sent sir.

Okay ma'am.

If you are on whatsapp, please send me message and let's talk over there.

Cheers

Just stumbled on this!

How are you holding up?

Sending e-hugs your way! It gets easier with time and I pray and believe the good Lord will make a way for you! Amen

babythug:
Just stumbled on this!

How are you holding up?

Sending e-hugs your way! It gets easier with time and I pray and believe the good Lord will make a way for you! Amen

Thank you. Living each day as it comes.

bleble24:
He's late.

You almost made me cry reading this. Please how are the kids?

bleble24:
Thank you everyone. His family promise to be there, and they were there at first but later thing change.
I will try and adjust.

That's how some of them behave, Sometimes I don't blame them cos things are really hard, God will help you. U are a super mum dear.

Destined2win:
You almost made me cry reading this. Please how are the kids?

Seriously, I wish I can help

I didn't know when tears rolled down my eyes reading this... so sad.
You're a good mum... may God give you the grace to train those kids well... Amen

Madam can you follow me back or at least check your mail? Would like to help in a little way.

This thread just brought tears to my eyes. While I am complaining my wife is not giving me sex when I need it there you are having no husband for no fault of yours.

Just hang in their and you will be fine. I sent you an email, I will like to help with the school fee of one of your kids. Waiting for your reply.

bleble24

Thank you all.

It is well...

its well dear,, i understand the pain more cos ive been there.
the Lord will comfort you and give you the strength to carry on. when u spank them, pls do well to embrace them later. they may not understand you now but when they grow up they will understand the sacrifices you have made for them. also, when you spank them do it gently, they have no daddy to run to.its well.
i sent u a p.m
pls reply

The op is not using a phone for now.

So ignore anyone who call to claim that she is

Thank you everyone. It's been a long time. I have been trying to remember this password and I finally did.

Foodqueen:
The op is not using a phone for now.

So ignore anyone who call to claim that she is

Thank you ma. For always being there. God will honour and bless you. My daughter sent her greetings. I don't have phone to browse yet I just use my co worker phone to log in. I will call u ma. Ese pupo ma

bleble24:


Thank you ma. For always being there. God will honour and bless you. My daughter sent her greetings. I don't have phone to browse yet I just use my co worker phone to log in. I will call u ma. Ese pupo ma

🤩

Good to hear from you on here. Are you still in ogijo

Dear Sis,
Do your best.
Leave the rest.