Is it selfish not to want to adopt if you want children but have been unable to conceive a child when you consider that there are 'so many children in need of adoption'?

Your thoughts?

Well ppl hv a right to choose how dey want to live dir lives.



Some ppl may not want to raise kids or even hv dem live wt dem.



I dnt think its selfish. ...my opinion.



Wat abt u?

I don't think it's selfish!

it not.....because it a choice

As For Me I Will Nevr Adopt A Child In My Life. But I Can Help Children In Any Way I Can

Over here in Nigeria I concur with the comments above based on our mentality but over there in the Western side, its not just selfish but wickedness of the highest order not to adopt when you can't conceive because I see adoption as a mean of giving life and hope to the hopeless.. Imagine a president of a country adopting a poor homeless orphan.. think about it..

Benikuuse:
As For Me I Will Nevr Adopt A Child In My Life. But I Can Help Children In Any Way I Can

How do you plan to help?

Adoption is a choice and no one should feel compelled to adopt because they can't have their own kids.
A child needs to be loved, and not everyone can completely open their hearts to a child that's not theirs.
Its just what it is. Not necessarily because they're wicked, but they just can't.
If forced to adopt, they may not maltreat the child but the child will always feel like he's not a true part of the family.
Some will outrightly maltreat the child....

It's so selfish.


#YOLO

eph12:
How do you plan to help?

support Orphanage Homes

Gratefulsoul:
Over here in Nigeria I concur with the comments above based on our mentality but over there in the Western side, its not just selfish but wickedness of the highest order not to adopt when you can't conceive because I see adoption as a mean of giving life and hope to the hopeless.. Imagine a president of a country adopting a poor homeless orphan.. think about it..

Hi,
Not necessarily a fair comment. People make choices and everyone (as far as I know) is allowed to do so. Orphaned children (especially black children) in America is an epidemic. It's a crisis for sure, but assuming that couples should adopt is faulty. Not everyone has the spirit to raise children not of their own DNA. I'm not sure that there's an answer about how to solve this problem.

eyinjuege:
Adoption is a choice and no one should feel compelled to adopt because they can't have their own kids.
A child needs to be loved, and not everyone can completely open their hearts to a child that's not theirs.
Its just what it is. Not necessarily because they're wicked, but they just can't.
If forced to adopt, they may not maltreat the child but the child will always feel like he's not a true part of the family.
Some will outrightly maltreat the child....

I agree.

MsLady39:



Hi,
Not necessarily a fair comment. People make choices and everyone (as far as I know) is allowed to do so. Orphaned children (especially black children) in America is an epidemic. It's a crisis for sure, but assuming that couples should adopt is faulty. Not everyone has the spirit to raise children not of their own DNA. I'm not sure that there's an answer about how to solve this problem.

Yea you are right...

yomi007k:



Well ppl hv a right to choose how dey want to live dir lives.



Some ppl may not want to raise kids or even hv dem live wt dem.



I dnt think its selfish. ...my opinion.



Wat abt u?

I think adoption is a beautiful and selfless thing to do if you have the means and good intentions but I don't think anyone is morally obligated, it's a personal choice so no I don't think it's selfish if you don't

Its not selfish. People shouldn't even adopt solely because they have not been able to conceive. What happens when and if the couple eventually get a biological child?! This is when some adopted kids would now start getting maltreated.

This was exactly the fear of one little girl who was adopted by a high class rich woman. This girl spiritually prevented her adoptive mother from going on to have biological children. The woman tried and tried for several years.
Eventually, her church organised a program for fruitfulness. Her pastor told her in the program to go and bring her adopted daughter for prayers. She went home and tried to do so. But to no avail. She didn't even tell the girl they were going to church. You know how kids can be persuaded na. 'Come let's go and buy ice cream' Come let's go to Mr Biggs'
All these didn't work. At last, the woman even tried to physically carry the girl into the car. For where...

She went back n told her pastor. He returned to her house with her. On sighting the pastor, her daughter wanted to run out through the back door. She was caught. The girl confessed that she didn't want the mother to have biological children because she will stop loving and pampering her. (Which happens for most ).
She was ordered to release the woman. She refused. The pastor declared that if she refuses, then she will have to go back to where she was brought from.

The very next month, I kid you not, this woman conceived. Its the very same pastor that told us this incident. He also waited on God for 9 years! When people pestered him to adopt seeing he had money, he will remember what happened to this woman and he chose not to. He has children now.
Some adoptions of course are good and clean. So do what suits you and how ur spirit leads.

Adopting is fvcking cruel and selfish. It doesn't look like it, I know,. . but it is. It has to stop. Women-of-conscience must wake up to their unwitting participation in this overt and covert treachery against young mothers. One must stop buying/adopting infants.
It's useless.. .
I can't adopt


#YOLO

I have seen some married folks that adopted though they have biological children of their own.


Before you start screaming "If you can't conceive, go and adopt", ask yourself, who have you adopted?

Adoption is a choice.

Loisemm:
Its not selfish. People shouldn't even adopt solely because they have not been able to conceive. What happens when and if the couple eventually get a biological child?! This is when some adopted kids would now start getting maltreated.

This was exactly the fear of one little girl who was adopted by a high class rich woman. This girl spiritually prevented her adoptive mother from going on to have biological children. The woman tried and tried for several years.
Eventually, her church organised a program for fruitfulness. Her pastor told her in the program to go and bring her adopted daughter for prayers. She went home and tried to do so. But to no avail. She didn't even tell the girl they were going to church. You know how kids can be persuaded na. 'Come let's go and buy ice cream' Come let's go to Mr Biggs'
All these didn't work. At last, the woman even tried to physically carry the girl into the car. For where...

She went back n told her pastor. He returned to her house with her. On sighting the pastor, her daughter wanted to run out through the back door. She was caught. The girl confessed that she didn't want the mother to have biological children because she will stop loving and pampering her. (Which happens for most ).
She was ordered to release the woman. She refused. The pastor declared that if she refuses, then she will have to go back to where she was brought from.

The very next month, I kid you not, this woman conceived. Its the very same pastor that told us this incident. He also waited on God for 9 years! When people pestered him to adopt seeing he had money, he will remember what happened to this woman and he chose not to. He has children now.
Some adoptions of course are good and clean. So do what suits you and how ur spirit leads.

Poppycock!

No wonder backwardness will remain with many Nigerians.

Come over to the west and narrate that story if you can. Do you know how this sounds??

Cc: Gaggi. Mindfulness. Cococandy.

EfemenaXY:


Do you know how this sounds??

The only credible, valid, logical and may -can-be correct part of the post you quoted was the first two or three lines. After the question mark, the post went south and I lost interest

But even as I am not interested, the fact that many peoples' minds work like that is tragic...

EfemenaXY:


Poppycock!

No wonder backwardness will remain with many Nigerians.

Come over to the west and narrate that story if you can. Do you know how this sounds??

Cc: Gaggi. Mindfulness. Cococandy.

Nonsense of the highest order.

Some of my brain cells have just died.

Mindfulness:


Nonsense of the highest order.

Some of my brain cells have just died.

Do spirits (good/bad, angel/demon) exist?

missjo:

Do spirits (good/bad, angel/demon) exist?

Yeah, in the form of children who make their mothers barren.

Yimu...
See them... pretending like they are not Africans... Lolz
Keep deceiving yourselves that demons/spirits do not exist. Or that these kind of things cannot happen here in Africa. You know it happens. Go to ur village in Nigeria, live there for a month and flaunt your wealth to all and sundry... And don't lift a hand to help anyone there. After they finish dealing with you, come back and tell us what you think. Is it because you are in the white man's land? Smh. U never see something.

Adoption is not bad but in Africa, you adopt with wisdom and discernment. Whether you believe it or not does not add a single naira or value to me. End of discussion from my end. Peace...

Loisemm:
Yimu...
See them... pretending like they are not Africans... Lolz
Keep deceiving yourselves that demons/spirits do not exist. Or that these kind of things cannot happen here in Africa. You know it happens. Go to ur village in Nigeria, live there for a month and flaunt your wealth to all and sundry... And don't lift a hand to help anyone there. After they finish dealing with you, come back and tell us what you think. Is it because you are in the white man's land? Smh. U never see something.

Adoption is not bad but in Africa, you adopt with wisdom and discernment. Whether you believe it or not does not add a single naira or value to me. End of discussion from my end. Peace...

Trust me, demons/spirits do not exist ONLY in Africa. But every other continent has to be better in the minds of African immigrants just to feel good. I once felt the same, so I know.

I cannot adopt, because no matter how hard I try, I can never love the child like I would if it were to be my flesh and blood. And it is far from being selfish. My purpose on earth is not to adopt kids.

It's a matter of choice. Mí lady said even if she has her own children and things are going well for us, we'll adopt. Whenever we pass through the orphanage, she always wonder how they cope.

1bkaye:
Is it selfish not to want to adopt if you want children but have been unable to conceive a child when you consider that there are 'so many children in need of adoption'?

Your thoughts?

Sorry about the random mentions! Can't post there because of an anti spam bot ban....and my true monikers notoriety!


Not putting any moves on you(yet) but would love to tell you more offline..

Metroescobar:



Sorry about the random mentions! Can't post there because of an anti spam bot ban....and my true monikers notoriety!


Not putting any moves on you(yet) but would love to tell you more offline...**********...what's app

No need to apologise lol, sorry dear I prefer not to communicate with users outside of the forum, honestly nothing personal

WHAT the fok is your buisness with other people's opinion. It's your life that's involved here.your life your rules your decisions your judgements your prerogative

Loisemm:
Yimu...
See them... pretending like they are not Africans... Lolz
Keep deceiving yourselves that demons/spirits do not exist. Or that these kind of things cannot happen here in Africa. You know it happens. Go to ur village in Nigeria, live there for a month and flaunt your wealth to all and sundry... And don't lift a hand to help anyone there. After they finish dealing with you, come back and tell us what you think. Is it because you are in the white man's land? Smh. U never see something.

Adoption is not bad but in Africa, you adopt with wisdom and discernment. Whether you believe it or not does not add a single naira or value to me. End of discussion from my end. Peace...

Does being African connote stupidityyy? Your story is only believable by people with an IQ of a mouse.

@topic,
Choosing not to adopt is no crime. Some people are scared of adopting because they do not know the mental and genetic ailments that might be present in the generation of the child. Does mental illness run in the family? Are they predisposed to certain medical conditions that can manifest as they grow older etc.
Apart from that, not everybody can love an outsider like their own.