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10 new Jokes of the day (jan 24 2016) - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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10 new Jokes of the day (jan 24 2016) by 0luwatope(m): 12:38pm On Jan 02, 2017
Rib cracking new jokes updated every day.

These jokes are all fetched and extracted from the no1 fun website www.funloaded.xyz/jokes

Have a nice day and don't forget to smile
Re: 10 new Jokes of the day (jan 24 2016) by 0luwatope(m): 12:39pm On Jan 02, 2017
Make 1Million naira with just 1k within 2days.
No referral is required.
No stress! All you have to do is just send your name, address and phone number so that I will forward it to the police because you are a criminal.
Re: 10 new Jokes of the day (jan 24 2016) by 0luwatope(m): 12:39pm On Jan 02, 2017
Oya die!!!! Oops, I meant dab!!!

1 Like

Re: 10 new Jokes of the day (jan 24 2016) by 0luwatope(m): 12:40pm On Jan 02, 2017
How can I buy indomie for #80 and buy kerosene for #350 to cook it
I am not eating again.
Re: 10 new Jokes of the day (jan 24 2016) by 0luwatope(m): 12:40pm On Jan 02, 2017
Please pray for me. I will be going to the hospital tomorrow. I think i have a problem with my eyes. Every time I look into my wallet, I see nothing.
Re: 10 new Jokes of the day (jan 24 2016) by 0luwatope(m): 12:41pm On Jan 02, 2017
In this recession

Re: 10 new Jokes of the day (jan 24 2016) by 0luwatope(m): 12:42pm On Jan 02, 2017
I Just got a call from a friend whose wife woke up this morning and started applying her makeup right there in the bed…… Husband stared at her and asked – “Have you lost your mind ?” Why on earth are you making up this early She Replies “I need to unlock my phone, it’s on face recognition and it doesn’t recognize me.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: 10 new Jokes of the day (jan 24 2016) by 0luwatope(m): 12:43pm On Jan 02, 2017
When you ask ekiti girls to DAB!!!

Re: 10 new Jokes of the day (jan 24 2016) by 0luwatope(m): 12:45pm On Jan 02, 2017
I pray phone don't kill my swit nairalanders

Re: 10 new Jokes of the day (jan 24 2016) by 0luwatope(m): 12:46pm On Jan 02, 2017
I used N4,000 to buy fuel for my car, so I decided to use the remaining N1,000 I had left in my pocket to get some food in a restaurant before I face the traffic.
As I ordered the food and sat down to eat, a well-dressed man in a suit sitting beside me said, "I love the way you eat, try their snail, I will pay." I hastily added four pieces of snail at a cost of N2,000 and continued eating. He said again, "You eat so well, please get a bottle of wine so that you can drink after eating." I hastily made the order and was having fun.
My total bill came up to about N10,000. I thanked him for accepting to pay. As I stood to leave, my car key fell down and I bent to pick it. I discovered that the man was bare-footed! I thought the man was attending a certain church but 3 hefty guys immediately busted in and grabbed him by the arm. One of them said to me, "I'm sorry if this man has been disturbing you, he just escape
from our psychiatric hospital this morning...
Re: 10 new Jokes of the day (jan 24 2016) by 0luwatope(m): 12:47pm On Jan 02, 2017
In a mental hospital, a journalist asked the doctor: How do you determine whether to admit a person or not? Doctor: Well, we usually fill a bathtub with water and give the person a teaspoon, a glass cup and a bucket and ask them to empty the bathtub. Depending on what they used to empty the bathtub, we would determine whether the person is normal or not. Journalist: Oh, I see. Obviously a normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger and would certainly empty faster. Doctor: No, a normal person would simply pull the drain plug and the water would flow away. Please go to Bed 38. A nurse will attend to you right away.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: 10 new Jokes of the day (jan 24 2016) by FreeSpirited: 12:49pm On Jan 02, 2017
0luwatope:
Me: Doctor! I have a serious
problem, I can never remember
what i just said.
Doctor: When did you first notice
this problem?
Me: What problem?
The guy is a gonner

2 Likes

Re: 10 new Jokes of the day (jan 24 2016) by DozieInc(m): 1:08pm On Jan 02, 2017
0luwatope:
Teacher: Tell me a sentence that
starts with an "I".
Student: I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an
"I". Always put 'am'
after an "I".
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of
the alphabet.
Lollz
Re: 10 new Jokes of the day (jan 24 2016) by marshalcarter: 1:26pm On Jan 02, 2017
mtchew

1 Like

Re: 10 new Jokes of the day (jan 24 2016) by Silverstone6578(m): 1:50pm On Jan 02, 2017
Repeated Jokes!! Please be original!!

1 Like 1 Share

Re: 10 new Jokes of the day (jan 24 2016) by jayied(m): 2:35pm On Jan 02, 2017
0luwatope:
In a mental hospital, a journalist asked the doctor: How do you determine whether to admit a person or not? Doctor: Well, we usually fill a bathtub with water and give the person a teaspoon, a glass cup and a bucket and ask them to empty the bathtub. Depending on what they used to empty the bathtub, we would determine whether the person is normal or not. Journalist: Oh, I see. Obviously a normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger and would certainly empty faster.
Lolz
Re: 10 new Jokes of the day (jan 24 2016) by lhawarl1(m): 9:42am On Jan 03, 2017
0luwatope:
In a mental hospital, a journalist
asked the doctor: How do you
determine whether to admit a
person or not?
Doctor: Well, we usually fill a
bathtub with water and give the
person a teaspoon, a glass cup and
a bucket and ask them to empty the
bathtub. Depending on what they
used to empty the bathtub, we
would determine whether the person
is normal or not.
Journalist: Oh, I see. Obviously a
normal person would use the bucket
because it is bigger and would
certainly empty faster.
Doctor: No, a normal person would
simply pull the drain plug and the
water would flow away. Please go to
Bed 38. A nurse will attend to you
right away.

0luwatope:
What a genius

lol i don laugh tire
Re: 10 new Jokes of the day (jan 24 2016) by 0luwatope(m): 5:39pm On Jan 03, 2017
English language is not by force, if you
can't speak correctly, kindly use your
mother tongue. Don't speak because you
want to impress others! Today, I told a guy "Excuse me, please can you go back a little" and he said "PLEASE! PLEASE!! PLEASE!!! I can't go backer than this, this is the backest I can go, can't you see here is somebody in front of my back? I said okay thank you

4 Likes

Re: 10 new Jokes of the day (jan 24 2016) by darbeelicous(f): 8:15pm On Jan 03, 2017
0luwatope:
English language is not by force, if you
can't speak correctly, kindly use your
mother tongue. Don't speak because you
want to impress others! Today, I told a guy "Excuse me, please can you go back a little" and he said "PLEASE! PLEASE!! PLEASE!!! I can't go backer than this, this is the backest I can go, can't you see here is somebody in front of my back? I said okay thank you
lolz
Re: 10 new Jokes of the day (jan 24 2016) by MarkGeraldo(m): 8:20pm On Jan 03, 2017
MMM go play with use die grin

Re: 10 new Jokes of the day (jan 24 2016) by 0luwatope(m): 3:09am On Jan 04, 2017
‘Black Friday’ is such a scam, stuff’s not
even that cheap. I prefer ‘Black Riot Day’,
all you need to do is find a good shop with the windows broken and you can grab as much stuff as you like totally free of charge.
Re: 10 new Jokes of the day (jan 24 2016) by 0luwatope(m): 11:39pm On Jan 23, 2017
So funny how some people will buy pure
water and finish it in less than a min but, d day dey finally buy a bottle water, it will take like 2hours
to finish and dey will be opening and closing it
as if is doctor Prescription...
Re: 10 new Jokes of the day (jan 24 2016) by Nobody: 9:26pm On Jan 25, 2017
grin
0luwatope:
In this recession
;Dna to use dagger slice ur joystick and balls na,shikina!
Re: 10 new Jokes of the day (jan 24 2016) by Nobody: 6:59pm On May 31, 2019
It's amazing not just strong! grin

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