hello nairalanders. let me go straight to the point.

i met a guy online and we started talking for about a month before we finally saw. i feel in love with him even before we met. i had this strong connection with him. he told me somethings about his life including the fact that he limbs while walking but i dint really think it was bad because the pictures of him i saw didn't reflect the real leg. one leg is shorter than the other as a result of polio he had when he was a kid. anyway his good personality made me overlook the leg though i use to feel ashamed before but over time, i have gotten use to it. after sometime he visited my parents and when my parents saw him, my mum called me into the room and started crying that why do i want to make her a laughing stock among her friends that out of all the men in this world,i brought someone with a deformed leg. that do i know the shame i will go through if i marry him. i told her i love the guy and that the accident that affected his leg would have happened to anyone. and that i cant disqualify him just because of something that he had no power over when he has every other quality i look out for in a man. she answered me that if i was the one with such a leg, he wouldnt have wanted to marry me. that it is better he married someone with a disability too so that both of them can understand each other because according to her, those with physical deformities always have esteem issues and that will affect the relationship. my sibling are divided on the issue. some said it looks shameful and if i was te one deformed, nobody would have marry me while others say if i love him,i should go ahead that the deformity is not his fault and he is a good guy from observation. well, i feel very bad right now. he is such a perfect guy except for the leg deformity, he walks around well and even drives a car. has a good career and good character. should i accept my mothers advise and break up with him or should i continue his relationship. please i need advise from people who have had similar concerns.

MOD, front page pleaseeeeeeeee. i need the right people to see this.

Well,i'd say you follow your mind but why is your mother concerned about her friends and not hersef?

olac21:
Well,i'd say you follow your mind but why is your mother concerned about her friends and not hersef?

my thought too. well, she is a very social person and feels people will look down on her if her son in law is not a perfect guy in their eyes.

In all honesty, I have no advice to give. But I'm here to learn and watch mature minds speak.

What if u were the one limping?

Few quick questions for you

Do you love him?
Does he love you in return?
Is your mother that want to live with him?
can he take care of you?

Well your answers to this questions will really go a long way. If you marry a man with no disability and after two weeks of marriage he has an accident and can't walk and work again will you leave him. my sister there is ability in disability follow your heart you Will not regret it

kingsouthie:
What if u were the one limping?

exactly! if i was the one, i wouldnt want to be rejected based on that alone because i didnt cause it to myself.

typical nigerian woman is it her friends that want to marry him i bet if he was dangote she might snatch him from you sef

2dice01:
typical nigerian woman is it her friends that want to marry him i bet if he was dangote she might snatch him from you sef

lol

It might be tough but I'll advise you stand your ground.I'll only disqualify the guy based on character.
You seem to know him well enough about his character.Don't worry about your mum and her opinion of her friends.She'll learn to deal with it.
How long have you known this guy?

Mtchewww

thorpido:
It might be tough but I'll advise you stand your ground.I'll only disqualify the guy based on character.
You seem to know him well enough about his character.Don't worry about your mum and her opinion of her friends.She'll learn to deal with it.
How long have you known this guy?

I have not known him for so long but i have met lots of people and i think he is different. down to earth and genuine.

Harbosede02:
Mtchewww

why na?

whitepump:


I have not known him for so long but i have met lots of people and i think he is different. down to earth and genuine.

What about your father? your siblings, what are their concerns, especially your father, this is a long term decision and it would help mentally if at least one of them was on board. He could also try to talk her in.

Your mom raised a fairly reasonable point and that is to say that he MAY get aprehensive or suspicious later when you settle( disabilities for lack of a better word doesn't cause this, however self esteem does and disabled people often times suffer esteem loss. Should you decide to go ahead with this, in future, keep your activities in plain site, so he doesn't raise flags.)

Clearly your moms opinion holds water to you(and rightly so) so don't sweep it under the rug, else your marriage might seem to be based on a sacrifice you made( choosing your man over your mom) and you may hold him on great account in different ways( knowingly or otherwise) to make that sacrifice worth it, to which he may not be able to step up to.

Talltom:


What about your father? your siblings, what are their concerns, especially your father, this is a long term decision and it would help mentally if at least one of them was on board. He could also try to talk her in.

Your mom raised a fairly reasonable point and that is to say that he MAY get aprehensive or suspicious later when you settle( disabilities for lack of a better word doesn't cause this, however self esteem does and disabled people often times suffer esteem loss. Should you decide to go ahead with this, in future, keep your activities in plain site, so he doesn't raise flags.)

Clearly your moms opinion holds water to you(and rightly so) so don't sweep it under the rug, else your marriage might seem to be based on a sacrifice you made( choosing your man over your mom) and you may hold him on great account in different ways( knowingly or otherwise) to make that sacrifice worth it, to which he may not be able to step up to.

okay. thank you.

you found Love.
you are convinced that he is the one.
you even had the love and courage to bring him home.

now ur mama would rather have u marry someone who is not really good to you but as long as he can use a skipping rope and do spilts like Van Damme, she's alright with it.

People are asking WHAT IF.

okay why don't you ask your mother..
Mama what if I was born blind and I grew up to find a man who loves me enough to take me to his parents and big family, and they reject me for being blind, what would you say.?

if ur mama had noticed and complained about his bad habits or some other traits, it would have been different.

Honestly, this is not a fair situation for one to make a decision so easily as the truth is, you might never find Love and happiness as you have found in your present bf.

Talk to your father.
Talk to some respected uncles and aunts.
Talk to God.

what a dilemma!


If you think he's the one, I think you should go ahead o.

Cobhams is blind, he has a wife and a daughter.

I use to know a couple , the hubby is blind, the wife met him blind and they have 2 kids.

I don't think your boyfriend's case is as bad as being blind. He walks well and even drives. so I don't know why your mum is making a fuss.

YesNo:
you found Love.
you are convinced that he is the one.
you even had the love and courage to bring him home.

now ur mama would rather have u marry someone who is not really good to you but as long as he can use a skipping rope and do spilts like Van Damme, she's alright with it.

People are asking WHAT IF.

okay why don't you ask your mother..
Mama what if I was born blind and I grew up to find a man who loves me enough to take me to his parents and big family, and they reject me for being blind, what would you say.?

if ur mama had noticed and complained about his bad habits or some other traits, it would have been different.

Honestly, this is not a fair situation for one to make a decision so easily as the truth is, you might never find Love and happiness as you have found in your present bf.

Talk to your father.
Talk to some respected uncles and aunts.
Talk to God.

thank you

If you don't marry him, someone else will jump at the opportunity.
I've seen so many cases of people happily marrying others that are physically challenged.
Its your call, and if you personally feel ashamed of him, then please kindly free the guy.

All a woman needs in a marriage is PEACE!!!!....any man that you're sure would give you that, shouldn't be taken for a joke. So limping has become a life threatening issue baa...

Please help me ask your mum; WHAT IF SHE HAS A SON THAT LIMPS, would she pray he get married or not?

Nothing stops you from being disabled tomorrow also. If you marry that perfect guy and you guys have a deformed child, will you be ashamed of him/her or run from the child?
Free advice, pursue your own happiness, it doesn't matter what your mum thinks. She has lived her life while you have a whole life ahead.

Marriage is much more than the physical, thank God i ended up not marrying that chic that looked like a model and went for a regular girl. I'm the happiest and luckiest married man on earth today. If you love him marry him or someone more befitting will.

Choose wisely, be guided.

Don't be so vain young lady. If he's a good man and the challenge doesn't disturb his ability as a person biko marry him. Would your mom advise you to divorce a man you married whole but eventually had an accident as time went by? Would she feel same way if the guy were her son? It is well.

whitepump:
hello nairalanders. let me go straight to the point.

i met a guy online and we started talking for about a month before we finally saw. i feel in love with him even before we met. i had this strong connection with him. he told me somethings about his life including the fact that he limbs while walking but i dint really think it was bad because the pictures of him i saw didn't reflect the real leg. one leg is shorter than the other as a result of polio he had when he was a kid. anyway his good personality made me overlook the leg though i use to feel ashamed before but over time, i have gotten use to it. after sometime he visited my parents and when my parents saw him, my mum called me into the room and started crying that why do i want to make her a laughing stock among her friends that out of all the men in this world,i brought someone with a deformed leg. that do i know the shame i will go through if i marry him. i told her i love the guy and that the accident that affected his leg would have happened to anyone. and that i cant disqualify him just because of something that he had no power over when he has every other quality i look out for in a man. she answered me that if i was the one with such a leg, he wouldnt have wanted to marry me. that it is better he married someone with a disability too so that both of them can understand each other because according to her, those with physical deformities always have esteem issues and that will affect the relationship. my sibling are divided on the issue. some said it looks shameful and if i was te one deformed, nobody would have marry me while others say if i love him,i should go ahead that the deformity is not his fault and he is a good guy from observation. well, i feel very bad right now. he is such a perfect guy except for the leg deformity, he walks around well and even drives a car. has a good career and good character. should i accept my mothers advise and break up with him or should i continue his relationship. please i need advise from people who have had similar concerns.

MOD, front page pleaseeeeeeeee. i need the right people to see this.

So far his deformity isn't hereditary/mental or blood related then you can marry him and have a good home with equally wonderful kids.

what matters is character

.

Intrepid01:
All a woman needs in a marriage is PEACE!!!!....any man that you're sure would give you that, shouldn't be taken for a joke. So limping has become a life threatening issue baa...

Please help me ask your mum; WHAT IF SHE HAS A SON THAT LIMPS, would she pray he get married or not?

Mimzyy:
.

Lol.....Madam you can answer that for me naa....afterall we've met once....

The point is, a "supposed defect " does not make anyone less of a human being or unworthy of happiness.

Was gonna make a joke out of your post but after going through the op, i changed my mind...

Intrepid01:


Lol.....Madam you can answer that for me naa....afterall we've met once....

The point is, a "supposed defect " does not make anyone less of a human being or unworthy of happiness.

[quote author=Mimzyy post=52917801]Was gonna make a joke out of your post but after going through the op, i changed my mind...

[/quote

Really!!! Pls don't tell me this is anoda cock and bull story from a troll.OMG!!!

Follow your heart and marry him since you love him and won't be ashamed of him cos of that. The deformity is not even hereditary.

I know a woman that her husband limbs, their children are very cute.

I think him being disabled has made him a very humble person, if you ever decide to be with him he will treat you with kindness and will often support you. He will realize how lucky he is to have you, he wouldn't go messing around with them other girls, he knows probably they wouldn't look at him twice because of his crippled leg. Considering all this, I think it's to your advantage to be with him. He will respect yoU wholeheartedly, he has limited options you know.

op,I Dont want to spoil your relationship but the truth is there is a higher chance your offsprings will be infected with polio than the rest of the other children. if you are willing to risk your children's future for him ,Go Ahead!
if not save your children the pain of polio!

Greenbullet:
op,I Dont want to spoil your relationship but the truth is there is a higher chance your offsprings will be infected with polio than the rest of the other children. if you are willing to risk your children's future for him ,Go Ahead!
if not save your children the pain of polio!

Where did you get your info from that polio can be hereditary?

thorpido:
Where did you get your info from that polio can be hereditary?

I did not state that its hereditary,I only stated that the possibility of her children having is as high as their father's.