bbjummy:

War room ; film wey make sense. But it isn't easy sha o

prestigiouslady:
Good afternoon Familanders.

I'm in dire need of advice hence my write up.
I'm a single mum of one, I got separated from my ex two years ago...though we are not officially divorced yet. After things got pretty nasty and he had to chase me back home (prior to this, my folks had wanted me to come back home due to his constant abuse)... I thought we could resolve issues, we both tried to but he's just like a smoke, he can't hide his character for too long..he's hot tempered, egoistic, and he can so mouth trash me(emotional abuse).he grew up in a home where his mum was the C in C, so he hates women trying to have a say.I must always do whatever he says not minding if I'm comfortable or not. I have my own share of the blame cos sometimes, he pushes me and I react back, so I'm not saying I'm a saint either. But my friends and family knows I'm not a trouble maker.

So I've been alone for two years, no date, no relationship cos I'm still officially married to him.. I went to see some of his friends and they told me to move on without him, its sad but they couldn't hide it anymore, he has moved on even so show casing a lady around as his new found love..but when things go down the drain between him and his gf, he comes back to me trying to see if we can make things work.

Now I have two problems here,
1. I don't want to be the one to sue for a divorce cos he will blackmail me emotionally (he tells everyone who cares to listen that he didn't chase me out of the house but I left cos I couldn't endure which is a lie from the deepest part of hell)... he doesn't want to sue for a divorce too.

2. I'm becoming too lonely, most night I cry myself to bed.. the last time we spoke, he told me "you're a very good lady, I love you but I really don't know why things arent working between us".. I know he loves me but I'm becoming too lonely and I don't want to cheat on him.

3. Around July 2016,a friend of mine (family friend) has been on my neck for a relationship, I've known him for a while, he was there for me all through when things was bad, he is a good man and he knows I'm separated (he's officially divorced to a white woman)...he's like everything I want in a man.

I really don't know what to do...do I sue for a divorce? or go into a relationship with my new guy for the main time..please help me.


Thank you

cc

prestigiouslady:


Thank you very much Sir.
I'm 22hrs away from him ATM..but I'm willing to make things work between us, but on his own part, its like he takes one step forward and 3steps backward.
He's not even talking to me, he has blocked all means of communication with me.

Amelian:



Unknown as in? Will another man marry her and care for her baby like she does?
Will her ex husband not come back to torment Her new marriage if she succeed in marrying another because of his child?
What kind of in-laws will she face in another marriage..
And how she wish she is really financially Independent to make some fast decisions.
Those are certain fears that plagues minds of some married women who is tied to a terrible man as a husband

keepingmum:
please stick with your husband inugo? for better for worse brigade....next time he bangs your head to the wall you will explain to angel gabriel why you arrived earlier than your appointed time

and stay away from your family friend. You are clearly still hung up on your abusive ex. only enter a relationship when you have grieved and healed

prestigiouslady:
@Tonyebarcanista
All his friends have spoken to him and he keeps on repeating the same thing that he's not fighting me and he will call me back when he's ready..
I just wonder what he thinks of me...

I'm giving his break but I'm human, its beginning to tell on me...it's becoming tempting.

I'm a Christian and that's why I'm still holding on cos I respect my oaths and I believe my vows are sacred... I pray for him everyday, never has a day gone by without me praying for him.

dinachi:

Sucking n fucking? You are more terrible than I thought! So you Bleep them too with you rubber Love Machine? You are horrible!

Amelian:




Mind u ,am not the only one offering divorce as a solution.
Read all her replies and provide your own solution to her.. It's that simple. It's not hard.
What concern of yours If am married or divorced?
Is this topic about me or the op's?
Proffer your own solution to her. She waiting.

TonyeBarcanista:

He loves you but I think he has this feeling that showing you would make you grow to be the kind of a wife his mum is/was to his dad. FEAR!

I will advice that you allow him the break and time to time visit him. DON'T chat with him please, you may call him to greet him too and send him text messages, but PLEASE refrain from asking him questions like "when are you coming back" "do you want divorce" etc.

As a married Christian, you don't need to complicate your life by thinking of another man or contemplating divorce.

To answer your question, he thinks of you daily but with time he will confess to you.


TO SHARE MY PARENTS STORY:
During the early years of marriage, my dad acted inappropriately by sending my mom home (my paternal grandma however accommodated my mom). I don't know how long Momsy stayed with granny but when her husband, my dad was tired, he used his own leg to go bring back his wife. Today, they are happy even after 4 decades. My mom was a Christian and her God fought for her! I can tell you that my dad knew Christ through her.

In your prayer, just pray that God should arrest him and frustrate every evil plan to scatter your home.

You both are joined before God Almighty.

I know some frustrated people that are neither married nor believe in the sanctity of marriage will laugh at the mention of God and prayer, but is there anything God cannot do?

God cares!

tomdon:


So she should avoid a man who wants her and she wants equally??
How some people think ehnnn

baby124:

What about the twins he is expecting? And the fact that she is even aware he was in a full fledged public relationship while she is waiting. Will you advice your own child to stay in such a marriage? What next when he gets bored or distracted again

baby124:

What about the twins he is expecting? And the fact that she is even aware he was in a full fledged public relationship while she is waiting. Will you advice your own child to stay in such a marriage? What next when he gets bored or distracted again

TonyeBarcanista:
If you are happily married or believe in the sanctity of marriage, you won't be going from thread to thread advising divorce on every issue, neither will you follow the path of some misguided advanced unmarried ladies to always shout divorce whenever things go south. We know these things

In any marriage, all efforts must be made to salvage the home EXCEPT in cases of physical abuse, which is criminal and must be dealt with to the latter. Cheating is another strong ground for divorce.

Anyway, I don talk finish...

prestigiouslady:



He just asked me, not that he is really expecting baby(ies) anywhere...so I think

prestigiouslady:



He just asked me, not that he is really expecting baby(ies) anywhere...so I think

raumdeuter:
You dont want to be with him, your parents dont want you to be with him anymore for the sake of your safety

His actions shows he doesnt really care for you to stay, His moms actions supports this that she doesnt care f you stay or not

Is this a good summary of the situation?

TonyeBarcanista:

And who told you he is expecting twins? Because he asked a question? Well until she confirm his unfaithfulness or sees such signs, she should keep pushing hard.

But if it turns out that he is seeing another woman, then it is a strong ground to seek divorce- but let's not be quick to reach conclusion

baby124:

Did you not read where he kicked her out? Why will he mention the possibility of twins if it was not true? Does that not mean he is probably actively trying for twins? Did you not read where she was aware of his new relationship Or you did not read the thread?

TonyeBarcanista:
I read from page 0 to the last before dropping my comments.

I am a guy, we say silly things to get the reaction of the people we love to know how much we mean to them.

I didn't see where she made mention of a new relationship, can you refer me to such comment?

mecussey:


very intelligent questions...that marriage was built on slippery foundation hence the indecition in everybody. Op have not said everything yet...she thinks before she write here...you may never get the right info. She has never faulted herself, does it mean she was never wrong? Adonbilivit

OldBeer:
Awon fast and pray brigade don enter.
Erm... Op if you decide to undergo the fast, don't forget to watch war room and use coconut oil.

TonyeBarcanista:
I read from page 0 to the last before dropping my comments.

I am a guy, we say silly things to get the reaction of the people we love to know how much we mean to them.

I didn't see where she made mention of a new relationship, can you refer me to such comment?

Ifecoded:

This is exactly what am talking about...
Op is keeping a lot of things here( wise of you tho)
How come your only offense is talking back when ur husband comes up with his deeds??
No matter how bad a wifey u re, or how hard your in-law wants your marriage to crash, your mother-in-law will still care abt her grandchild.. mani an soro e yi.
This is a child her own son begat.
There is more to that.
May God help all the same.

prestigiouslady:


I'm not in a relationship yet, still on friendship basis, the new guy told me of his intention but I've not given him a reply. I was just considering if I should have a rethink since my marriage isn't working despite all effort to fix it

prestigiouslady:
@Tonyebarcanista
All his friends have spoken to him and he keeps on repeating the same thing that he's not fighting me and he will call me back when he's ready..
I just wonder what he thinks of me...

I'm giving his break but I'm human, its beginning to tell on me...it's becoming tempting.

I'm a Christian and that's why I'm still holding on cos I respect my oaths and I believe my vows are sacred... I pray for him everyday, never has a day gone by without me praying for him.

mecussey:


very intelligent questions...that marriage was built on slippery foundation hence the indecition in everybody. Op have not said everything yet...she thinks before she write here...you may never get the right info. She has never faulted herself, does it mean she was never wrong? Adonbilivit

baby124:

Read her first post again carefully on page 1. She said he has moved on and is showcasing a new lady. No man in his right mind who has a kid will play silly games. He even went as far as blocking her on all communication. His own wife! He has obviously not even bothered to find out how his child is doing. That is the guy you advise her to have patience for. She will die being hurt repeatedly by him. He's a broken guy and will keep destroying things till he dies. It is her decision to respect herself and child or continue being his beast of torture aka eran iya. She will wake up in 10yrs bitter and full of regrets if she keeps this up. It will just be a pathetic cycle.

TonyeBarcanista:

My problem with people like you is that you will lift a set of lines from a particular thread to paste on another.

I read the first post and I NEVER saw where she made mention of her man having a new girl not to talk of flaunting it.

Though the guy is misbehaving, it doesn't make him a beast. Agreed that there is a lacuna, but it is something that can/will/should be resolved by applying wisdom.

Please, are you married or a divorcée?

prestigiouslady:
Good afternoon Familanders.

I'm in dire need of advice hence my write up.
I'm a single mum of one, I got separated from my ex two years ago...though we are not officially divorced yet. After things got pretty nasty and he had to chase me back home (prior to this, my folks had wanted me to come back home due to his constant abuse)... I thought we could resolve issues, we both tried to but he's just like a smoke, he can't hide his character for too long..he's hot tempered, egoistic, and he can so mouth trash me(emotional abuse).he grew up in a home where his mum was the C in C, so he hates women trying to have a say.I must always do whatever he says not minding if I'm comfortable or not. I have my own share of the blame cos sometimes, he pushes me and I react back, so I'm not saying I'm a saint either. But my friends and family knows I'm not a trouble maker.

So I've been alone for two years, no date, no relationship cos I'm still officially married to him.. I went to see some of his friends and they told me to move on without him, its sad but they couldn't hide it anymore, he has moved on even so show casing a lady around as his new found love..but when things go down the drain between him and his gf, he comes back to me trying to see if we can make things work.

Now I have two problems here,
1. I don't want to be the one to sue for a divorce cos he will blackmail me emotionally (he tells everyone who cares to listen that he didn't chase me out of the house but I left cos I couldn't endure which is a lie from the deepest part of hell)... he doesn't want to sue for a divorce too.

2. I'm becoming too lonely, most night I cry myself to bed.. the last time we spoke, he told me "you're a very good lady, I love you but I really don't know why things arent working between us".. I know he loves me but I'm becoming too lonely and I don't want to cheat on him.

3. Around July 2016,a friend of mine (family friend) has been on my neck for a relationship, I've known him for a while, he was there for me all through when things was bad, he is a good man and he knows I'm separated (he's officially divorced to a white woman)...he's like everything I want in a man.

I really don't know what to do...do I sue for a divorce? or go into a relationship with my new guy for the main time..please help me.


Thank you

cc

TonyeBarcanista:

My problem with people like you is that you will lift a set of lines from a particular thread to paste on another.

I read the first post and I NEVER saw where she made mention of her man having a new girl not to talk of flaunting it.

Though the guy is misbehaving, it doesn't make him a beast. Agreed that there is a lacuna, but it is something that can/will/should be resolved by applying wisdom.

Please, are you married or a divorcée?

1bkaye: