Good day N/landers.
I don't know how to put this but im really troubled n depressed.
Im married with a new baby. I work with Federal government, My wife doesn't work cos she is still nursing our baby. I earn 90k every month. 30k goes to house rent every month. 10k to fuel my car every month, 30k goes for monthly Feeding n expenses. At d end of d month im only left with 20k.
I feel so sad n bothered dat I cant really provide for my family all they really need.
Previously I worked in a reputable organisation where I earned 160k monthly, everything was all rosy until the company began downsizing two years ago n I lost my job. Luckily for me I got this Federal job via an uncle dat knows my situation.
Please married folks in d house I want to know if any one is in my situation where u work to make life comfortable for ur wife n baby and at d end of d month u r left with nothing. How do u cope? Don't u feel so depressed like I do? I look at my beautiful wife n son and cry inside dat I cant give dem d luxury life they deserve. if only things were still OK for me.
I feel so sad inside. my wife n son deserve d very best. Is it OK to deplete all on my family to ma
make dem happy? nobody is complaining but I just want the best for them and becos I cnt I feel so sad.

You are lucky

Be thankful

Be grateful

At least you are still able to put food on the table for your wife and kid.

There are some husband who has become a houseboy to their wife just because they don't have a job.

You need to be patient with federal government job, they will promote you after 3 years and your wife after nursing will also support you. You don't need to be depressed. Things are hard everywhere cos of recession.

Oga you need to plan your life within your means rather than based on societal expectations
you lost your job 2 years ago - yet a year after loosing your lucrative job, you got wifey pregnant and now have an extra mouth to feed.
Please and please, go on long term contraceptive with your wife to avoid stories that touch the anus....everyone is tightning their belts and expenses now because the Change govt you people voted for have not even drafted a plan to get the country out of recession - they are relying on their different gods to take them out of recession.
Consider starting a biz for your wife like catering....cooking and selling in plastics to offices around her...you dont need a huge capital for that - She could just focus on jollof rice or just moin moin
Or you could use your car for cab/taxi at night to earn extra income till your FG promotion come.

Don't feel bad sir, thank God that in your own little way you are still able to provide for your family's basic needs.
Now to some points you raised up there:
30k on accomodation every month - that amounts to 360k for a year's rent, i'm guessing you had been staying there before you lost your previous job, however, maybe there are some things that could change. Ofcourse you are the one who knows the full dynamics of your situation. I don't know the area where you stay but supposing you are living in a 3 or 2 bedroom apartment, could you consider moving to a place with one less room, thereby reducing cost or if the area is the reason for the cost could you consider moving to a "low" brow area? Seeing that you have a personal car, going to and from work should be much problem.
My 2cents.

mamadsquare:
Don't feel bad sir, thank God that in your own little way you are still able to provide for your family's basic needs.
Now to some points you raised up there:
30k on accomodation every month - that amounts to 360k for a year's rent, i'm guessing you had been staying there before you lost your previous job, however, maybe there are some things that could change. Ofcourse you are the one who knows the full dynamics of your situation. I don't know the area where you stay but supposing you are living in a 3 or 2 bedroom apartment, could you consider moving to a place with one less room, thereby reducing cost or if the area is the reason for the cost could you consider moving to a "low" brow area? Seeing that you have a personal car, going to and from work should be much problem.
My 2cents.

I agree with this. You need to understand that your circumstances have changed, rather than cry foul, you should effect changes appropriately . Instead of the luxury 360/year house rent go for a lesser one and you have more to provide for your family and even save.
For what it's worth, I think you are doing good so don't feel bad.

30k monthly for house no too much?
Mind u, yu aren't earning 160k again.

Btw if u hear other ppl situation, u go thank baba God

Be grateful you have a job.

Whatever you do, PLEASE do not fail to keep aside that 20K each month.

Encourage your wife to go for family planning. It's free at government hospitals.

Better thing no dey finish for market. You are able to provide for basic things, good for you. When your salary upgrade u can then upgrade your standard of living if you must.