Story line: Nkechi is married, but not happy, she has been spending time with an old boyfriend, and things are getting super exciting.

Adultery. Infidelity. They never considered what they were doing to have anything to do with any of these things. They took pleasure in being together. It wasn’t a matter of their partners not taking care of business, neglecting them in any way, or failing to do what they needed-they just enjoyed each other’s company.

They enjoyed each other’s immense passion, each other’s body, and each other’s desires.

They needed each other. She needed the time away from the responsibility of marriage, needed the time away from children, duties, routine and ethics. He needed time away from his clingy girlfriend, the lady who was pressuring him for a trip to the altar. Her biological clock was ticking, as she loved to remind him. She was thirty going on fifty, in her head. To hell what was right or wrong, to hell with the penalties.

Now they were together again. No more deceits, no more dishonesty. It was their time. Everything came to a halt as they bleeped on the steps of Tayo’s house. His girlfriend was visiting her friend in Abuja.
Nkechi had used the excuse of going to the island on business, one of her countless trips back into his arms. Someone once told her husband that she had another lover, but he didn’t care.
If he did, at least he didn’t bother about it. She was free to do what she wanted to. Not that they had an open marriage, but as long as she kept her affairs out of his face, everything was cool.

Nkechi had made another of her rare trips to see Tayo, and they were making up for lost time. They had spent five blissful days together skinny- dipping in the beach, shopping, and going to clubs. Oh yes, and then there was always fucking, which was what they were doing now.

Nkechi’s dress bunched up around her waist. Her chocolate, firm ass was on the edge of the staircase that led down to the doorway. They were supposed to go to the airport, so that Nkechi could return home. She had talked to her husband the night before on her phone, assuring him that her meetings were going well, and that her flight home should arrive around nine the following night... .Continue Reading @

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A Short Romantic Story

You sabi.

I am fan of show-don't-tell. Though you show. Though you didn't ask for criticism, because I am also a writing lover, I will help.

What made her ass chocolate? Is she naked? If so, if it is a video, can we see her ass while she sits?

Look at it once more, 'Her chocolate, firm ass was on the edge of the staircase that led down to the doorway.'

How can a clock become biological, eg: 'Her biological clock was ticking, as she loved to remind him. She was thirty going on fifty, in her head.'

The advice is: don't say everything. Remember what makes a good story is suspense, concision and what is believable.

Thanks you published it here. I also learned more through people's comments.

And look at the important sentences you made, and these are the type of sentences that make international standard stories: show, don't tell:

*.His girlfriend was visiting her friend in Abuja.

*.She was free to do what she wanted to.

*.They had spent five blissful days together skinny- dipping in the beach, shopping, and going to clubs.

*.Nkechi’s dress bunched up around her waist.

*.Now they were together again.

You are surprise that I chose these sentences as the best. Yes, they are. You don't know how sometimes it is difficult to get them. Making this type of sentences are the real secret.

All the others don't arrest the reader.

Sometimes, creativity is really difficult. That is why most creative people are celebrities.

You sabi.

I am fan of show-don't-tell. Though you show. Though you didn't ask for criticism, because I am also a writing lover, I will help.

What made her ass chocolate? Is she naked? If so, if it is a video, can we see her ass while she sits?

Look at it once more, 'Her chocolate, firm ass was on the edge of the staircase that led down to the doorway.'

How can a clock become biological, eg: 'Her biological clock was ticking, as she loved to remind him. She was thirty going on fifty, in her head.'

The advice is: don't say everything. Remember what makes a good story is suspense, concision and what is believable.

Thanks you published it here. I also learned more through people's comments.

And look at the important sentences you made, and these are the type of sentences that make international standard stories: show, don't tell:

*.His girlfriend was visiting her friend in Abuja.

*.She was free to do what she wanted to.

*.They had spent five blissful days together skinny- dipping in the beach, shopping, and going to clubs.

*.Nkechi’s dress bunched up around her waist.

*.Now they were together again.

You are surprise that I chose these sentences as the best. Yes, they are. You don't know how sometimes it is difficult to get them. Making this type of sentences are the real secret.

All the others don't arrest the reader.

Sometimes, creativity is really difficult. That is why most creative people are celebrities.

Let's meet another time. We can exchange contacts to make good sentences to blow readers. I am now editing my short story. And I can spend a year making every sentence better like the ones above. Sometimes, I said, it is not easy. The point is let's be criticizing sentences instead of wasting time.

You sabi.

I am fan of show-don't-tell. Though you show. Though you didn't ask for criticism, because I am also a writing lover, I will help.

What made her ass chocolate? Is she naked? If so, if it is a video, can we see her ass while she sits?

Look at it once more, 'Her chocolate, firm ass was on the edge of the staircase that led down to the doorway.'

How can a clock become biological, eg: 'Her biological clock was ticking, as she loved to remind him. She was thirty going on fifty, in her head.'

The advice is: don't say everything. Remember what makes a good story is suspense, concision and what is believable.

Thanks you published it here. I also learned more through people's comments.

And look at the important sentences you made, and these are the type of sentences that make international standard stories: show, don't tell:

*.His girlfriend was visiting her friend in Abuja.

*.She was free to do what she wanted to.

*.They had spent five blissful days together skinny- dipping in the beach, shopping, and going to clubs.

*.Nkechi’s dress bunched up around her waist.

*.Now they were together again.

You are surprise that I chose these sentences as the best. Yes, they are. You don't know how sometimes it is difficult to get them. Making this type of sentences are the real secret.

All the others don't arrest the reader.

Sometimes, creativity is really difficult. That is why most creative people are celebrities.

Let's meet another time. We can exchange contacts to make good sentences to blow readers. I am now editing my short story. And I can spend a year making every sentence better like the ones above. Sometimes, I said, it is not easy. The point is let's be criticizing sentences instead of wasting time.

Thanks.

Story line: Nkechi, an unhappy married lady, is getting excited with her old boyfriend.

Adultery. Infidelity. They never thought what they were doing have something to do with any of these. They enjoyed themselves. It wasn’t a matter of their staff or partners not taking care of business, neglecting them, or failing to do the needed--they just were enjoying each other’s company.

She needed the time away from her husband. He needed the time away from his girlfriend, the lady who wished he took her to the altar. Her clock was ticking, as she loved to remind him. She was thirty going on fifty, in her head. To hell with what was right or wrong, to hell with the penalties.

As now they were together again, No more deceits, no more dishonesty. It was their time. As they bleeped on the steps of Tayo’s house everything came to a halt.

While his girlfriend visited her friend in Abuja, Nkechi had used the excuse of going to the island on business, one of her countless trips back into his arms. Someone once told her husband she had another lover, but he didn’t care.

If he did, at least he didn’t bother. She was free to do what she wanted. Not that they had an open marriage, but as long as she kept her affairs out of his face, everything was cool.

Nkechi had made another of her rare trips to see Tayo, and they were making up for lost time. They had spent five blissful days together skinny- dipping in the beach, shopping, and going to clubs. Oh yes, and then there was always fucking, which was what they were doing now.

Nkechi’s dress bunched up around her waist. Her ass was on the edge of the staircase that led down to the doorway. They supposed to go to the airport, so Nkechi could return home. She had told her husband the night before that her meetings were going well, and that she would arrive around nine the following night...

hmmmm