IBADAN TO ABEOKUTA
APRIL 18, 2017
THAKELESKE
EDIT "IBADAN
Hi guys!Yes, don’t dare be stupefied. You clicked on the right [my blogsite] and

not a book of the bible.

My name is Kelekun Oluwaseun and I’m your regular host, Sorry scrap that,

(Ewo ni weyrey gaan?) my addiction to radio is telling on me.

Yea I know it’s been a long time I’ve updated my shelf. My bad right, but

I’ve got some aces up my sleeves for you. I changed this space’s name in a

bid to thrill you with more interesting stuff generally. As the name

implies “mychronicles”, a lot happens in the life of a Nigerian undergraduate. So I want to keep these records and share with friends. Based

on logistics (Oshey jare Efe) We gon’ be doing this hopefully more often,

provided my phone doesn’t kaput entirely.

Folks let’s get down to the brass tack for this week, Ibadan to Abeokuta is

a Sixty minute journey or thereabout, but I got the embarrassment of my

life amidst this very short turned long journey. It was a hellish

experience I tell you, Hear Gist!

So I occupied the back-seat of this space wagon I was gon’ board to Abeokuta. Two people were

going to sit at the back, so the second seat which is the last available

seat was yet to be occupied.

Then came this particular lady, trust me I no dey fumble, the babe set die!

Chelsea’s 343 just set pass am small until United give them Tuwo (2-0) She

sat in the last seat, next to me.. Phew!

Out of the blue, I started feeling this heat inside of me, which has a

result got me sweating and from the “problems”(Oshey Rekaado)  she was carrying, no be here

fam! I presumed she sef was resuming for a new session like myself. All I have

is sixty minutes to impress and get her number, so I started racking my

brain on how to accomplish this.

We left challenge and I tried starting conversation with this babe, but she

was kinda hoity-toity to me. Ignoring this, I was so determined [ In Kanu’s

voice] in getting what I want.

Guys let me go back in time to what I did before I left home that morning

I’m allergic to anything that contains beans, but I tried play God by

eating what I know would cause me harm. I ate just two balls of akara with

custard, telling myself I wanted to eat something light. Boya ni mo gbagbe

pe Esu ni agbara, koni Igbala!

Back to my story, when we got past Apata, then the unfortunate started

happening. I was feeling a lot of higgledy-piggledy (rumble in the jungle)

in my stomach, even Don Jazzy can’t come close to producing the sounds my

stomach was making. If not for the car running into potholes and shit, this

343 babe would have heard the noises.

My adrenaline that was rushing when this lady came in had stopped, but the

sweat refused to stop. I wanted to fart, but knowing what it may lead to, I

had to hold my lane and hope gas doesn’t treat my FK while praying Abeokuta

will meet us at that point!

Thirty minutes into the journey, the most uncomfortable and torrid thirty

minutes I’ve had in a very long time if I might add, with roughly half an

hour to talk to this fine as f**k babe sitting right beside me, but yet the

rumbling and trembling in my stomach no gree make I great.

I had to do something right? Yea, imagine this beauty go away like that. So

I decided to let go minute amount of this gas, praying it comes solemnly

and odourless and considering the free ventilation to and fro the car, I

had to kill or cure.

My brother and sister, the stuff came out, yes it did, but not the way I

had hoped for. It came as a major flaw in the career I have been trying to

preserve and build with the babe. It came with a loud, cracking, long

sound, Lagbaja would have been proud of the notes my fart churned out. I

tried saving the little or no face I had, but the damage had gone way

beyond control. I wanted to keep back the remaining gas, but it was way out

of proportion. It wouldn’t just stop. (Aye mi!)

Fortunately, e no too smell but e the noise echo sha, based on sey na

inside motor wey dey move, babe no quick code wetin dey shele for the domot

wey we gather put.(Ope o!)

I was in a dilemma, should I apologize to this babe or lock up and pretend nothing happened?

I’m gonna conclude and tell you guys what I did next time out, but in

between time let’s get the conversation started. What would you have done

if you were in my position? Hit me up on Twitter @Thakeleske or whatsapp

with 08139686989 and you could also drop your comment right here, right now.

Thanks for reading and please share with friends. Cheers!

Tell me this is a fiction

what was her reaction?

Fiction kwa. It happened, I've got the concluding part coming up shortly