Hello all,

Had something on my mind that I would like to get reasonable minded individuals views on. I have a new business project I am working on which has not been finalized. Now the small issue I have is that I have a very close friend that is like a sister to me. However, she is close to other people too that I really don’t want knowing my business all the time. In some cases I have identified that she may be telling people my business or likely have gotten me into trouble because of something I told her and she told others. I just learned to deal with that aspect of her because it does not overshadow all her good qualities.

When I started thinking about going into this project, I told her about it, and she immediately started saying she was thinking of doing something similar but not exactly what I am doing. I pushed her to help me get to talk to a guy that can give us more insight about the project. When we got to the meeting, she took over, asking about the project she was interested in. Long and short, the meeting was not as profitable cause I didn't learn anything new or old. I am not worried at all that I will inspire someone to do better for themselves, after all no be me first start the business and others have been doing it for long now. The only thing is that I feel instead of helping me, she may be looking for how to one up me (first me or however you want to interpret it).

In addition, she is close to someone that I am sure she will tell about what I am doing and I don’t want her to know because their own is to talk about all the negatives and nothing constructive to help you.

The dilemma is that she is like a sister, and I don’t want to go so deep into the project and then, walla, I then tell her. I know she will be very upset about this and I don’t even know how to explain why I didn’t really tell her about the progress. At least she has an idea of the business I want to do and the business name, however she does not know how far I have gone since the last time I spoke about it. I don’t know what I will say when she ask me about it again and I don’t want to lie cause am usually not a good liar. I have definitely talked to as many people that are into the business and can help me with the start-up. I just want to be careful. She is not a bad person, just an informant to the public. That I don’t need right now.

Hope this is in the right section.

When it is business time, u have to be sure of what u want, decisive and ruthless, friends and family can take backseat especially in d beginning.

I also think you should talk to ur friend about y u wnt want to keep telling her stuffs. If she truly is like a sister as u painted, she would understand.

Thank you shegxi for the advice.

Women and friends... She is definitely not a very good friend from your story, yet you will sabotage your business on the platform of the friendship..
You dont owe her anything ma..

Someone who tells other people things you've told her, to the point of getting you in trouble, is a close friend? Close friend, indeed.

Good thing you've now learned to keep your business plans to yourself; she has repeatedly showed you she's not someone you could trust. Her taking over your meeting w/ the guy also shows she's interested in her own best interests. If she asks why you no longer want to disclose your project w/ her, tell her but refrain from telling her anything pertaining to your plans. She doesn't have the right to be upset b/c of that, not after the way she has been abusing your trust. Idk what sort of friendship this is; you're giving her too much power.

Well...I think you should pretend she's in on it somehow. Make her free like she's a part of it or you aren't as deeply rooted in as you are right now.

Some friendships are really important dearie, I don't think you should lose yours because of a business. The right people are priceless. You could tell her titbits of what you are doing now in passing without giving up so much info and leave no room for further info. In fact, what you tell her now could be one of those things she already knows. Or you could tell her someone else is gonna be handling it for you, once done it will be handed over to you. Whatever you tell her, tell her while gisting about other things.

sisisioge:
Well...I think you should pretend she's in on it somehow. Make her free like she's a part of it or you aren't as deeply rooted in as you are right now.

Some friendships are really important dearie, I don't think you should lose yours because of a business. The right people are priceless. You could tell her titbits of what you are doing now in passing without giving up so much info and leave no room for further info. In fact, what you tell her now could be one of those things she already knows. Or you could tell her someone else is gonna be handling it for you, once done it will be handed over to you. Whatever you tell her, tell her while gisting about other things.

Actually she doesn't shy away from asking you for more details. She gets to the root by asking every form of question. But I am taking bits of advice. Seeing how to use them wisely.

First thing first; you really need to redefine your relationship with her. I mean, the very moment a relationship between two people - two people who aren't mutually loyal bound in marriage - reached to the level where one think that she owed the other servility rather than loyalty, to maintain, retain and sustain the relationship then, it's obviously time to reevaluate such a relationship.

There's a wise saying regardless of the level of sweetness in your relationship with your neighbour, never bring down the fence that demarcated your boundaries - but in your case you've since done that. You don't have to agree with me on this, but that's the connotation of your message - the fence is the salt of such a relationship and once its broken down, you directly or directly have a frenemy that pretends to be a friend.

Well, when you embrace my suggestions above, automatically you'll have an answer to your inquiry. Learn how to be a personality/organization with secret but not necessarily a secret personality/organization.. . This is one clear difference between noble people and petty people.

In fact, many things are wrong in your relationship with her. People who're loyal to each other/friends never compete with one another.

Diplomaticbeing:


In fact, many things are wrong in your relationship with her. People who're loyal to each other/friends never compete with one another.

Totally agree with this one right here.

A friend you cannot confide in.......... Is that one a friend

Every business has a secret. Tell her about your business but keep the secret to yourself.

The idea isn't new anyway...so don't bother about what she can do with the "little" knowledge.

Since she has turned herself to an informant and a public relations officer, allow her market your brand...just see it as an avenue to market your products/services.

On the other hand, I think this has to do with you...your person. You fear that she will make you open up and dispense every information about your business. Some individuals can turn themselves to DSS and other secret service...you only have to understand their personality and learn how to handle them... While they're usually very harmless and hardly do anything meaningful with such information, they have a way of dispensing any info at their disposal to every tom dick and harry, so ensure whatever you say to her dwells only on the finished product/sales.

Don't be suprise that ur 'friend' will establish the business b4 you once she knows all about the details...btwn how do you cope with this ur amebo frnd knowing ur secrets are nt safe?

OP, this should help you make a decision..

poshestmina:
Don't be suprise that ur 'friend' will establish the business b4 you once she knows all about the details...btwn how do you cope with this ur amebo frnd knowing ur secrets are nt safe?

I have learned to talk about things I don't care about getting out period. Anything new that I know will come back to me, i keep it to myself. If she tells me gist I already knew before, I pretend na her I just they hear am from. That's how I do oh.

baby4u2:
Thank you shegxi for the advice.

Sis abi na bae.... why not post a sketchy idea or the forum and source for ideas here?

Na wa

She's like a sis? Yet she tells ur biz to odrs?

She'll b upset if she sees how far you've gone with it?

Sis it is well with you o.
I even appreciate your desire to keep the friendship and the fact that you choose to overlook this flaw cs it doesn't overshadow her 'good side'

But please be wise, she's obviously not a person to be trusted with sensitive info, so don't.
If she finds out later, just brush it off as if its not a big deal to have disturbed her with,
That way, you keep a friend turned sis and you prevent her from knowing what you really think of her, and if she's smart, she'll pick up d message and not be offended.

Even the bible says a soft answer turns wrath away abi how dem talk am?

Permit me to put up my own view on this una friendship, if ya'all wanna b real wichoself this friendship won't last long or she'll ruin your sensitive plans knowingly or unknowingly.
Just be careful with what you tell her
Keep seeing the good in others, that's a good quality

I wish I had enough sense and patience to do that
I just throw d entire friendship out the window in a case like this
Lord help me