davtosh:
I went to see a Friend at the Polytechnic Ibadan and on getting to the door I knocked as I could hear ppl jisting inside they must be around four or five in number ladies were among.

Who is it ? a voice asked from inside

"Please Im asking of Tunde" I replied

"He is not around" the voiced replied

"Ok when he come tell him" I didnt finish the sentence when I heared "eeehn" Ewooo
they all bust into laughter shouting "ScudMissile"

I realised it was the blunder in my english that brought about the laughter I should have said when he comes not when he come

I knew they were coming to open the door and before that would happen I ran towards a group of students walking towards my direction and joined them coming back towards the door the group of students were wondering what my problem was and I too was looking at their faces like "you never see anything" and that gave us a kind of expression that we were communicating while we were not I looked over to the door and saw them rushed out to see who dropped the bomb but they were surprised at how the person disappeared so soon and that got them more amused as they were laughing hard. Me I just bone pass them with my "new colleagues" acting like we were going for lectures together.

Anytime I remember I just laugh at myself.

Lol...Boss, na u be the real Gee!

Politicalidiot:
Let me start... Yr was 2001, i was in pry 2 and somehow, i managed to accumulate #500. Every day during break time, i will bring out d money and b counting it. All d girls started liking me and i became d biggest boy in class but there was dis very fine girl dat i likek dat no send me.. her name was Faith (calabar girl.)..
There was a day she was sweeping d class (twas her sweeping day) and under my desk was written "I love faith.". She started questioning me saying it was my handwriting but i denied flat. she called her friends na so i dey deny upandan. Then she went to call her cousin in pry 3 - Ndike, who i hated wit a passion cus he likes bullying pry 2 boys. He called me out of class during closing time (before lesson time) but i refused to go and went to d class window. He and d girl started questioning again.. as i dey deny na so d cousin (thru d window) PUNCH my mouth and 1 teeth fell out . Naso i burst cry with blooding mouth and d boy ran away. He didn't stay for lesson dat day.


Last i saw Faith in my 300l, she was selling, recharge card at my estate entrance, not half as beautiful as dose days

What did she do when she saw u?

k9ine:
Mine, I got punished for making a proposal when I was in primary 3. Yes I mean it primary 3.

It happened I was the class monitor as it was called then and intelligent. There was this dark-skinned girl intelligent also whom I admired.
Then the unthinkable happened, just follow me.
I wrote a small note to her, she and her friends read the note together, then my sin was uncovered. They showed it to 'aunty'. Na so she flog me e no even respect my office as monitor, she tell me say I be spoilt boy. Na so dem laugh me die that day.

My people wetin be the note: "Ediri I like you and I want us to marry in 1999." Ask me why 1999. I didn't know what year comes after 1999, so I reasoned that's the last year on earth and that I would be grown up then. When I recall this I just smile and imagine what the heart conceives even at a young age.

Her friend who showed the note to teacher, she fell for a set-up I planned and got punished for it.

Gist us about the setup too now

kelvinrhs:

Did someone actually died? If yes then I'm ready to sponsor your trip to Aso rock. Just come and stay in the elevator till buhari enter am

No... The stench from the mess was like that from a dead decaying body... Not that the mess killed someone.

Ishilove:
Those carefree days when the girls in Makama Bida Hall engaged in free-for-all cussfests with the dudes in Sodeinde Hall.

We were neighbours, you see. We could not waka in peace without the boys cat-calling or making fun of our dressing. The 'war' I got directly involved in was the one that erupted when one naughty boy declared that somebody's pant (she hanged it on her window to dry) was big enough to sew Iro and buba.

Goodness, that night was bloody. I could have sworn they heard the ruckus yonder Senate building. We flocked to our windows and the backyard to cuss ourselves out and pour 'pant water' on the boys. The 'battle' only ended when the hall porters threatened to call the infamous UNILAG 'Black Maria' to arrest us for disturbing the peace.

Aaaaaah, those were the days...

greatest akokaites!

onadana:



That was way back in secondary school. It was sweet from nothing to something. You are in Kaduna?

Yea, and u?

Rtopzy:
Yea, and u?

I stay in Kaduna.And it will be cool to meet a fellow nairalander.

onadana:

I stay in Kaduna.And it will be cool to meet a fellow nairalander.

Cool, which part of kd do u stay?

Rtopzy:
Cool, which part of kd do u stay?

Barnawa to be precise and you?

She passed on last year. She was really cool.

onadana:


Barnawa to be precise and you?

Abuja express way Gonin-Gora
Good morning, hope u slept well?

pheeeeeeeeeeeew................... i had a good laugh.....Good start for the day

aniyphil:
I can't help but laugh every time I recall how dad wouldn't let me touch the keys, let alone drive his Peugeot 504 GR back in the days . . .and today I have 2 German machines and 1 Japanese in my garage

lemme guess.

Japanese na Toyota

Mine was in my primary 5, my teacher told me I'll be the one to present morning speech in the assembly the next day cos twas our class turn. She gave me a verse in the Bible to read (the parable of the good Samaritan man). Got home and play took over me, didn't even read anything. Next day when we were about to leave for school, I feigned sickness even dipped my fingers inside my mouth and vomited everything I ate, my mum called in sick for me. Went to school the next day very early as usual, met my classmate asked her who did morning speech. Her response killed my joy, '' nobody oo, our teacher didn't come to school yesterday, so we didn't present anything but they said anytime she comes we'll ''. Our teacher later came asked me if I was prepared, I foolishly told her yes. When it was time for the speech, I couldn't even say anything was busy crying in front of everybody. Whenever I remember it I just laugh, now I know the parable offhand.
****
Another one was in my Jss2, a senior gave me #50 to buy splash sweet(#20), meatpie (#50), okpa (#50) and bring change for her. After begging her that is not possible and she refused to listen to me, I left for my class, told my neighbor what happened. We went to the canteen, bought meatpie, shared it amongst ourselves. The senior later came after waiting for me, I told her the queue was much and when I was raising my hand so that the seller will see me, someone took the money from me(twas common then). She bought my story and left me.

Rtopzy:

Abuja express way Gonin-Gora
Good morning, hope u slept well?

Sure I did.It's a wonderful brand new day,new week filled with so much expectations. Wish you a great day.

Let me share mine..

I was in Pry 6 then and i was about to be appointed as class captain. Our class teacher asked me "If i come into the class and i meet the class noisy, are you a good class captain?"

I completely mis-understood the question and I confidently said "Yes"

My classmates were all laughing.

He repeated the question the second and third time and i still gave him the same answer.

The man just let me be. I later became the unofficial captain anyway

onadana:


Sure I did.It's a wonderful brand new day,new week filled with so much expectations. Wish you a great day.

Wish you much more dearie
So, when am I meeting dis nairalander?

Rtopzy:

Wish you much more dearie
So, when am I meeting dis nairalander?

Though I have a busy schedule but am sure I can create time for a fellow naira lander. This is my what's app 08052238266.

haryomikun:

lemme guess.

Japanese na Toyota

Spot on bro !

This one happened during my o'level days. It was on a Friday which was usually an assembly day and then detention List was always read. On this faithful day, there happened to be this crazy but funny guy we called 'jarule' who was unfutunate to be amongst the detention list that were to receive 12 strokes plus manual labor the next day for their offence. So his turn came to be flogged and then we started counting...1 and he responded uhhh
2 uhhh, 3 uhhh... Till the twelveth. So came d next person 1 uhhh... 2 uhhhh 3 uhhhh and d next thing we will hear from jarule was ''guy, cry ur cry dont cry my cry'' it was funny then...

I was in primary 3 and considered myself as hot-tempered. We were given a classwork. Can't remember what made me not to finish early. There was this guy, my close friend, he finished his classwork earlier and so he came to my seat to distract me. Warned him severally and as he didn't take heed, I ended up stabbing him on the back with my pen. He bled. I took my bag and ran home. I was expecting him to come with his parents, but he didn't.
In that same class, there's this girl, Ujunwa. Chai, Ujunwa was a perfect 10. To me, then, she was too beautiful. I come dey trip. So one day, she happened to be sleeping in the class and she pee-d on herself. Choi from that day I stopped to look at her. Was damned funny. Last I heard of Ujunwa, she got pregnant and I think she was forced to marry the guy.
There was this form teacher. She too dey flog. God fit still dey punish am now.
In primary 2, I was so intelligent (whether you believe am or not) that our form teacher used to send me to her table whenever we were writing exams.
In primary 5, I started to attend lessons for common entrance examination. It was usually from 5-7pm. Sometimes we overstayed. As Nepa bin dey mess up, sometimes light no go dey. We then use candles. Whenever the class ends, we would sprinkle the hot candle wax over other students especially the girls and they would scamper around, trying to get away from the class.

MisterDreamz:
Now this is not some decade old funny experience...it's very much recent but it tears me apart with laughter


A song was playing and I and my sibling were grooving and singing along...then we got to the part "Ema jijo mi o,ema lo bi ti indomie o(dance with ni,twist like noodle)...then my Mum replied "Orisirisi orin...lo bi indomie? Ekuku supo bi eba" I.e "Don't twist like noodle but _ like eba(can't find the right English word)."
Naija Mums for life!

this got me laughing so hard... Mehn i bet your mum will be fun to be with.
Naija mum no dey carry last

Ishilove:

Is Sodeinde now a female hall?

Biobaku back then was the driest male hall in the entire student community. How come e dey hot now?

No sodeinde is still under renovation. Those guys thats make sodeinde lively are now in biobaku. Hence the fun in biobaku

While in secondary school ( boarding), I woke up one Saturday morning to discover that my sandals have been stolen. I confided in my sister and she asked me to get another persons sandals to avoid punishment on Monday. later in the day my friend told me that she found someone s sandals outside in the field (washed and left to dry). I told my sister about it and she advised to cut it on one side so the owner will not be able to recognise it. I did just that informed her and she congratulated me. You can imagine her surprise when she later discovered that the sandals I stole was actually hers.
Till date I still laugh out loud when I remember that incident.

godsluvee:
Shake it wella

I know nothing lasts forever and maybe we won’t always stay
together but every smile and laughter we shared convinces me that the
memories of our friendship will last for the rest of my life. I really miss u dear.

gbemmy2k10:
I know nothing lasts forever and maybe we won’t always stay
together but every smile and laughter we shared convinces me that the
memories of our friendship will last for the rest of my life. I really miss u dear.

Awww, thanks love . My most special 'friend', I miss you more

godsluvee:
Awww, thanks love . My most special 'friend', I miss you more

Dem don dey compose poem for you Na your head come dey turn, smh

onyenze123:


Dem don dey compose poem for you Na your head come dey turn, smh

Sharap there, wetin concern you

davtosh:
In the secondary school Almost all my Classmates didnt like Maths may be because the teacher was a boring type.

Maths period was the saddest period for me and many

Mr Salako the maths teacher came this day as usual and started creating his problems and solving them by himself at every stage he would ask " Is it clear" and everyone would chorus "Yes sir"
Just for him to do his thing and leave us in peace for more interesting subjects.
"Is it clear"

"Ye sir"
kept on working on his problems on the blackboard.

"Is it clear" ?

" Yes sir" we chorused

At the end of his problem solving

He created another problem and
he turned back and asked

"Who can solve this problem" ?

at that point inside of me the spirit was saying " Mr man carry your problem commot our class"

Every one of us were looking at him like Babbon wey never chop for days.
No one had a clue.

No one signalling by raising up hand.

He looked at us in amazement

"Cant someone solve this simple problem or Is it not clear"

Every one us chorus again " Yes sir"

Come see Mr Salako turning Red in the spirit. Like seriouly he was burning with anger.

It was the first time in my life I would see a teacher cursing his student " Ko ni daa fun yin"
Mr Salako said almost crying

"Mumuni" ! he called the class prefect
"Siiiir" he answered

"Go to the staff room at my Table go and bring me the bundle of cane" "Gbogbo ee ni ko ko wa"

That day Mr Salako beat the whole class like he would kill us

godsluvee:
Sharap there, wetin concern you

So your mama no teach you to respect your hubby?

onyenze123:


So your mama no teach you to respect your hubby?

See this one

You no get respect

Mind your self ooh, before I.......

godsluvee:
See this one

You no get respect

Mind your self ooh, before I.......

Before you kiss me...?

come on, I am use to that.