People, ladies in particular should change these relationship and marriage mindset. Below are some wrong notions that needs to be changed.

1. Believing that the lady or guy you are dating must end up with you in marriage: Everybody is single until the person and his/her partner has fulfilled the mariage rites. Now let me shock you, that you are his fiancee does not mean you have succeeded, you are still on probation, you can be dropped if anything goes wrong. Same applies to the guys.
HE/SHE SHOULD MAINTAIN HIS/HER STATUS AS THE PRINCIPAL MARRIAGE CANDIDIATE AND MAKE IT TO THE FINISH LINE.
2. The manner at which most unmarried ladies demand from their men: I see no reason why most unmarried ladies will demand from their men as if it's their responsibilty. Am not saying the bros shouldn't give, but let that be at his will. Not until you come down from altar. Guys let your main spending be on your wife. Not a lady that could leave you at anytime.
3. Believing that it's their husband's responsibility to carry the financial burden of the family: Every (married) woman should always contribute her own financial quota to the family depending on how they share it. Unless she is not working. For me, the man should contribute 60% and the woman 40%. SIMILARLY MEN SHOULD JOIN IN HOME CHORES IT IS ROMANTIC. Most ladies usually the single ones believe it's men's sole responsibility to make all the contributions. Why are you a help meet (biblically)?.
4. Assualt in relationships for women is JUST OK: Most ladies believe it's just right to assualt(usually slap) their men and it's also a crime for the men to do thesame, calling them cowards, beasts, animals etc. If so, then women that raise their hands on their men are equally beasts, witches, animals and what have you. See, do to anyone what you want them to do to you. I see the reason why domestic violence or relationship violence has refused to be eradicated for decades. Respect na reciprocal. If you hit, them hit you back no vex. ADD YOURS.

As usual, no word for men on what to do in their marriages. Another 1000 thing to make your man happy thread. So, based on these facts can the woman have multiple dates? Since the man is not guaranteed to marry her, if she contributes to the family income, can she also ask the husband to contribute to chores?

I agree with two tho, a bf is not a woman's walking atm and hell no! any woman that slaps her man should be slaped in return(unless the man did something terrible ie she caught him in bed with someone or he used her name to defraud people etc then that slap is well deserved. If woman slap me I go slap back.

NaeChris:
People, ladies in particular should change these relationship and marriage mindset. Below are some wrong notions that needs to be changed.

1. Believing that the lady or guy you are dating must end up with you in marriage: Everybody is single until the person and his/her partner has fulfilled the mariage rites. Now let me shock you, that you are his fiancee does not mean you have succeeded, you are still on probation, you can be dropped if anything goes wrong. Same applies to the guys.
HE/SHE SHOULD MAINTAIN HIS/HER STATUS AS THE PRINCIPAL MARRIAGE CANDIDIATE AND MAKE IT TO THE FINISH LINE.
2. The manner at which most unmarried ladies demand from their men: I see no reason why most unmarried ladies will demand from their men as if it's their responsibilty. Am not saying the bros shouldn't give, but let that be at his will. Not until you come down from altar. Guys let your main spending be on your wife. Not a lady that could leave you at anytime.
3. Believing that it's their husband's responsibility to carry the financial burden of the family: Every (married) woman should always contribute her own financial quota to the family depending on how they share it. Unless she is not working. For me, the man should contribute 60% and the woman 40%. SIMILARLY MEN SHOULD JOIN IN HOME CHORES IT IS ROMANTIC. Most ladies usually the single ones believe it's men's sole responsibility to make all the contributions. Why are you a help meet (biblically)?.
4. Assualt in relationships for women is JUST OK: Most ladies believe it's just right to assualt(usually slap) their men and it's also a crime for the men to do thesame, calling them cowards, beasts, animals etc. If so, then women that raise their hands on their men are equally beasts, witches, animals and what have you See, do to anyone what you want them to do to you. I see the reason why domestic violence or relationship violence has refused to be eradicated for decades. Respect na reciprocal. If you hit, them hit you back no vex. ADD YOURS.

delishpot:
As usual, no word for men on what to do in their marriages. Another 1000 thing to make your man happy thread. So, based on these facts can the woman have multiple dates? Since the man is not guaranteed to marry her, if she contributes to the family income, can she also ask the husband to contribute to chores?

I agree with two tho, a bf is not a woman's walking atm and hell no! any woman that slaps her man should be slaped in return(unless the man did something terrible ie she caught him in bed with someone or he used her name to defraud people etc then that slap is well deserved. If woman slap me I go slap back.

Ofcourse the man should help in house chores. It's romantic. For the multiple dates, he/she shouldn't but should ensure that he/she maintains that status of being the principal marriage candidiate. Try to make it to the finishing line.

NaeChris:
Ofcourse the man should help in house chores. It's romantic. For the multiple dates, he/she shouldn't but should ensure that he/she maintains that status of being the principal marriage candidiate. Try to make it to the finishing line.

So why not state those up there? Why focus on the women aspect only? Plus seeing the husband doing chores as "romantic" but not seeing the woman's expectation of financial support as romantic but rather as a duty and expectation?

delishpot:


So why not state those up there? Why focus on the women aspect only? Plus seeing the husband doing chores as "romantic" but not seeing the woman's expectation of financial support as romantic but rather as a duty and expectation?

It is not romantic in the sense that it is their default duty given by God, yet they can make it romantic in a way. The points are apparently narrowed towards the female folks because it particularly concerns them more than the guys. Like i stated ''same applies to guys where necessary.

NaeChris:
It is not romantic in the sense that it is their default duty given by God, yet they can make it romantic in a way. The points are apparently narrowed towards the female folks because it particularly concerns them more than the guys. Like i stated ''same applies to guys where necessary.

All clear now.

NaeChris:
Ofcourse the man should help in house chores. It's romantic. For the multiple dates, he/she shouldn't but should ensure that he/she maintains that status of being the principal marriage candidiate. Try to make it to the finishing line.

There's nothing romantic about house chores. Nothing romantic about sweeping, washing n ironing clothes, washing plates, scrubbing floors, windows etc.
Nothing romantic about sweating like a pig going to the slaughter house.
But, since humans are not animals, and its inexcusable to live like a pig, house chores are just one of those things that have to be done

eyinjuege:


There's nothing romantic about house chores. Nothing romantic about sweeping, washing n ironing clothes, washing plates, scrubbing floors, windows etc.
Nothing romantic about sweating like a pig going to the slaughter house.
But, since humans are not animals, and its inexcusable to live like a pig, house chores are just one of those things that have to be done

There is a way you can make it romantic. Mostly when you do it together with your partner.

NaeChris:
There is a way you can make it romantic. Mostly when you do it together with your partner.

Are you married? Not live in lover o, not bf/gf o I mean married. No insult I tended, just to know where you are coming from.
Plus, financially supporting the home is not a duty given to women by default. Women can support by raising animals for eggs, wool, clothes and a garden for veggies and fruits. Women were never by default meant to go out there to raise money to feed the family. They could take care of husbands business and help the family prosper.

delishpot:




Are you married? Not live in lover o, not bf/gf o I mean married. No insult I tended, just to know where you are coming from.
Plus, financially supporting the home is not a duty given to women by default. Women can support by raising animals for eggs, wool, clothes and a garden for veggies and fruits. Women were never by default meant to go out there to raise money to feed the family. They could take care of husbands business and help the family prosper.

Let me ask you a question; What is the meaning of the word 'Help Meet'? Mind you it is a broad term. HELP can be in form of anything.

NaeChris:
Let me ask you a question; What is the meaning of the word 'Help Meet'? Mind you it is a broad term. HELP can be in form of anything.

Are you married? The things I listed there, don't they suggest help meet?

delishpot:


Are you married? The things I listed there, don't they suggest help meet?

I am not married, but atleast i read books, i attend seminars, i listen to tapes etc. The word 'HELP' is a very broad term. It can take multiple forms. Help financially, help materially, help spiritually, help domestically and so on. She is the second in command. I suggest thats the reason why most(about 98% of homes suffer after the death of the man because the woman is probably not well equipped. She is/WAS not used to the man's duties or should i say SHE WAS NOT A GOOD ASSISTANT. She finds it hard to cope. In severe cases, the kids drop out of school and so on.

delishpot:


Are you married? The things I listed there, don't they suggest help meet?

What is there in contributing 40% of her income? Thats if she is working or into business. Unless the man says she should not work, which i doubt if anyman could happily do that except for some conditions. Using an average civil servant as a case study, who earns N80K every month. Comot school fees, house rent, feeding and other things, how much remain? That is where the wife comes in with her contribution to ASSIST the man. Well everybody have their lives to live. My wife will contribute, no matter how small, na something. Ofcourse she says she will like to work, to my great joy.

NaeChris:
What is there in contributing 40% of her income? Thats if she is working or into business. Unless the man says she should not work, which i doubt if anyman could happily do that except for some conditions. Using an average civil servant as a case study, who earns N80K every month. Comot school fees, house rent, feeding and other things, how much remain? That is where the wife comes in with her contribution to ASSIST the man. Well everybody have their lives to live. My wife will contribute, no matter how small, na something. Ofcourse she says she will like to work, to my great joy.

I did not say it is bad. All I am saying is, if you say doing house chore is not ordained for men to do, why then does the woman have to be expected to financially support as part of her duties? It should also be viewed from the same angle as man doing chores. It is not compulsory but a nice gesture and romantic too. The woman was never quoted in the Bible to give her husband money. She makes her money, she out of goodwill cares for the family but it is never a law for women to go out to hassle. Just like a handy husband is a blessing to his family cos he fixes and does handy jobs around the home. His wife and kids are considered blessed and lucky, his neighbours love him for his support when they need his help, wives of not so ha dy men are envious of her because her home is always tended to, But it is not a law that all husbands must be handy.
A woman out of love and concern for her child, can decide to quit her job and stay home to care for the kids and God will not say she is ignoring her duty, but if a man decides to ignore his role of provider and sit at home even though his wife is at home doing the child care and taking care of the home, God would judge him for abandoning his role towards his family
Dont get me wrong, husbands and wives should do what they have to do to keep the family comfortable, but remembering g suitable religious texts when it suits and ignoring others when it doesn't shouldn't be the norm.

delishpot:



I did not say it is bad. All I am saying is, if you say doing house chore is not ordained for men to do, why then does the woman have to be expected to financially support as part of her duties? It should also be viewed from the same angle as man doing chores. It is not compulsory but a nice gesture and romantic too. The woman was never quoted in the Bible to give her husband money. She makes her money, she out of goodwill cares for the family but it is never a law for women to go out to hassle. Just like a handy husband is a blessing to his family cos he fixes and does handy jobs around the home. His wife and kids are considered blessed and lucky, his neighbours love him for his support when they need his help, wives of not so ha dy men are envious of her because her home is always tended to, But it is not a law that all husbands must be handy.
A woman out of love and concern for her child, can decide to quit her job and stay home to care for the kids and God will not say she is ignoring her duty, but if a man decides to ignore his role of provider and sit at home even though his wife is at home doing the child care and taking care of the home, God would judge him for abandoning his role towards his family
Dont get me wrong, husbands and wives should do what they have to do to keep the family comfortable, but remembering g suitable religious texts when it suits and ignoring others when it doesn't shouldn't be the norm.

Ok let me ask you. What does the bible say about a virtuous woman. let me save us some time. Vs 14 says ''She is like MERCHANT ships; she brings her food from afar''.
(that means she is a business woman)
Vs 16 says ''She considers a field and buys it: with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard''.
(that is she is also a farmer)
Vs 24 says ''She makes fine linen and SELLS IT(that is she is a trader); and delivers girdle to her merchant. For more see PROVERBS 31 vs 10-28. The fact the you are a christian has made it easy for me sef.

Facts

Moreover as a bible scholar, i am yet to find a place in the bible where men are supposed to handle domestic duties. IT IS FOR THE WIFE but like i said, its an opportunity , a chance for the man to completely win the heart of his wife. She will not joke with him. I mean he is assisting her in that area.

NaeChris:
Ok let me ask you. What does the bible say about a virtuous woman. let me save us some time. Vs 14 says ''She is like MERCHANT ships; she brings her food from afar''.
(that means she is a business woman)
Vs 16 says ''She considers a field and buys it: with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard''.
(that is she is also a farmer)
Vs 24 says ''She makes fine linen and SELLS IT(that is she is a trader); and delivers girdle to her merchant. For more see PROVERBS 31 vs 10-28. The fact the you are a christian has made it easy for me sef.

Did you read what I wrote since at all? Did the Bible make it a command? Go back and read if God made it a must for her to hand over her proceeds to her man.

delishpot:



Did you read what I wrote since at all? Did the Bible make it a command? Go back and read if God made it a must for her to hand over her proceeds to her man.

When God call her a helpp meet, what does he have in mind? Moreover the passages i shared threw more light on how God wants a wife to be. Tell me, which woman will reject being or being called a virtuous woman?

delishpot:



Did you read what I wrote since at all? Did the Bible make it a command? Go back and read if God made it a must for her to hand over her proceeds to her man.

I never said she should hand over her proceeds to her man, i said, she should CONTRIBUTE her quota to the FAMILY. She still have some left for herself.

NaeChris:
I never said she should hand over her proceeds to her man, i said, she should CONTRIBUTE her quota to the FAMILY. She still have some left for herself.

Then we saying same thing.

NaeChris:
When God call her a helpp meet, what does he have in mind? Moreover the passages i shared threw more light on how God wants a wife to be. Tell me, which woman will reject being or being called a virtuous woman?

Dem dey use the title collect more eyes for bank? My point is, it is not set on stone that the woman does all those. Not every woman can afford to buy land, leave home early morning etc. Those are things that depend on the . But every woman can garden, sew, make food, hair, wash etc to help the husband reduce monthly expenditure. A good wife can support in many ways. She can keep the home clean, kids and husband well cared for etc without buying g land bla bla bla. So, the duties of a wife does not strictly include her bringing money to the table.

delishpot:


Dem dey use the title collect more eyes for bank? My point is, it is not set on stone that the woman does all those. Not every woman can afford to buy land, leave home early morning etc. Those are things that depend on the . But every woman can garden, sew, make food, hair, wash etc to help the husband reduce monthly expenditure. A good wife can support in many ways. She can keep the home clean, kids and husband well cared for etc without buying g land bla bla bla. So, the duties of a wife does not strictly include her bringing money to the table.

Yes, not necessarily the ones stated above, but she can do the ones she can based on her ability. Like i said, ''no matter how small...'' I like the word you used 'support' thats what am talking about. This support can come even financially. She is not supporting the man in the sense that the funds goes to the man's pocket for his personal use NO! but the funds goes to the family of which she too is a partaker.

delishpot:


Dem dey use the title collect more eyes for bank? My point is, it is not set on stone that the woman does all those. Not every woman can afford to buy land, leave home early morning etc. Those are things that depend on the . But every woman can garden, sew, make food, hair, wash etc to help the husband reduce monthly expenditure. A good wife can support in many ways. She can keep the home clean, kids and husband well cared for etc without buying g land bla bla bla. So, the duties of a wife does not strictly include her bringing money to the table.

Or are you supporting 'House Wifery'? Where a woman will sit at home doing only domestic chores? When her fellows are out there making money and assisting their men? No na. My wife go work o. Her purpose is beyond house wifery and making babies.

NaeChris:
Or are you supporting 'House Wifery'? Where a woman will sit at home doing only domestic chores? When her fellows are out there making money and assisting their men? No na. My wife go work o. Her purpose is beyond house wifery and making babies.

If the partners involved feel it's the best for their growing family why not? Like I said beforehand, it's not a bad thing if the partners decide to work to give the family the best but being a good wife does not mean the woman must go out to work for money that burden was placed upon the husband from creation. There are things a good wife can do to support her man but if she decides to work why not? The Bible loves such a woman so a man should not see it as a competition. I am happy that you agree with your woman about work just like the husband of the good wife did not feel intimidated with his wife's success. Many men today will cry blood if their wires did what that woman did in the Bible. They will say she is always focused on work and she bought land to expand her business Instead of giving the money to them. The good woman needs a good husband to prosper. I hope you learnt that lesson.

delishpot:


If the partners involved feel it's the best for their growing family why not? Like I said beforehand, it's not a bad thing if the partners decide to work to give the family the best but being a good wife does not mean the woman must go out to work for money that burden was placed upon the husband from creation. There are things a good wife can do to support her man but if she decides to work why not? The Bible loves such a woman so a man should not see it as a competition. I am happy that you agree with your woman about work just like the husband of the good wife did not feel intimidated with his wife's success. Many men today will cry blood if their wires did what that woman did in the Bible. They will say she is always focused on work and she bought land to expand her business Instead of giving the money to them. The good woman needs a good husband to prosper. I hope you learnt that lesson.

Yes but thats the way God pictures a wife to be; SUPPORTIVE in all RAMIFICATIONS not just in home chores.

NaeChris:
Yes but thats the way God pictures a wife to be; SUPPORTIVE in all RAMIFICATIONS not just in home chores.

God pictured he did not say it is a must. He did not say a woman that decided not to bring financial income to the home is a bad wife. Plus, that page was not written by God as a law. It was written by man painting his idea of what a wife should do. Not every woman works and it is not a must that she does. But every husband MUST. You calling the duties I listed as JUST home chores is your choice. Have you sat down and taken care of a home with kids before?

Obviously i see why men here in africa has short life span. Why won't they? When they shoulder and carry family (financial) burden ALONE struggling for more than 40 years, why will they live long? When the women feel it's their husband's soke responsibility. Compare that with men abroad whose women are not parasitic. Check their life span. When God says any man that can not feed his family is worse than an infidel don't think it is for the males alone. Similarly God says ''If any man be in Christ he is a new creature....'' does that exclude women? We should understand these things. If not why did WISE KING SOLOMON(the wisest fellow ever lived) make such statement? ONLY wise women will adopt that but the foolish and lazy ones will shy away from it. Obviously thats why we have lots of parasitic relationships and house wives here in africa.

delishpot:

God pictured he did not say it is a must. He did not say a woman that decided not to bring financial income to the home is a bad wife. Plus, that page was not written by God as a law. It was written by man painting his idea of what a wife should do. Not every woman works and it is not a must that she does. But every husband MUST. You calling the duties I listed as JUST home chores is your choice. Have you sat down and taken care of a home with kids before?

You see thats the problem with we africans. Ok what should the woman be doing all day? Sit at home making babies and taking care of them? No wonder they call God HUSBAND TO THE WIDOW when they experience the other side of life in the absence of their husband because they were taken unawares and unprepared. Ok asuming the husband of the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 lost her husband, tell me WILL SHE SUFFER?.

I am quite sure God does not regard that name when its coming from a lazy woman(now widow) who sat at home doing nothing, totally depending on her husband's income. Except from the hardworking ones who find the job more difficult due to the death of their husbands.

NaeChris:
You see thats the problem with we africans. Ok what should the woman be doing all day? Sit at home making babies and taking care of them? No wonder they call God HUSBAND TO THE WIDOW when they experience the other side of life in the absence of their husband because they were taken unawares and unprepared. Ok asuming the husband of the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 lost her husband, tell me WILL SHE SUFFER?.

So you saying God did not say it well? But when it co es to things the man is entitled to, you dont see problem with Africans? (Do you want to know why they say God is husband of the widow? Cos in those days, widows were dispossessed of their husbands properties because women were not allowed to inherit if they wanted to keep their husbands land or property, they were made to marry his brother or any of his male relative because of that fact, widows looked up to God for help that is why they say so. Widows were not treated fairly hence God fights for them)Those things the virtuous woman did, did did she need a husband to do them? Dont you think that with her wisdom, should her husband have died, she would have done the same thing? Besides, why do you just want to put words into Gods mouth? Did I mention any where that a woman should be barred from working? Did I imply that a woman should be lazy? I don't get your point. You said it is a must that a woman works outside the ho e to make money to support her husband and I say it isn't a law made by God. That it is a nice idea if the family and circumstances allow the wife work outside the home but it is not a law that the husband demands his wife to do so claiming God ordained it just like a wife can not demand the husband do house chores"even though the bible did not condemn such but men made the rule on Gods behalf) even you mentioned it. But is is nice if family circumstance calls for it that the man supports in chores.. So what is your arguement really?

God said ''...i will make him a HELP MEET...'' By that, God has given her a default assignment as a HELPER, A SUPPORTER, AN ASSISTER to her husband in ALL ASPECT. She is not expected to labour as the man NO, she should work to her own capacity. Thats why i said 60:40.