I got married a couple of years ago and am simply tired of copulating. My husband doesn't seem to get enough. These days, i simply lie there and wait for it to end.

Any ideas on how to spice things up?

get a new female househelp

@Mr Prsdent
Not an option

There are some therapists out there that can help you in this situation.

Let me take a wild stab in the dark here, is it that there is just sex and no lovemaking/pre-intimacy? Girl, there are ways to make the dude please you and not just himself. Men, being of fragile egos are not best pleased when we women are direct with such issues, so why not 'show' him what you like and where you want to be touched? The next time he gets 'in the mood' you can say something like:

"Honey, I'm feeling a bit tired right now, but if you massage my shoulder to help me wind down and relax I can attend to you later." I can bet money the man will do anything to relax you. Just make sure that you deliver on the promise, he will hold you to that.

If you are shy, just put his hand where turns you on and say something like, "That feels soooo good" and trust me, the man will do it. You are husband and wife, you have nothing to hide from each other.

Good luck.

@ Poster,

           I credence that it is cos you are relatively young in marriage,but not withstanding,you need to put it your own personal effort.First,talk to your hubby about your challenges,never shy away from discussing with your hubby about your sexual life.
       
          Second,i'd suggest that you go for counseling on ways to improve your sexual appetite you could go with your hubby or in the alternative get books,articles or browse the net on topics that will enhance your sexual desires.

         Third study yourself well and try to know what suits you and let your hubby too know.e.g your body,your reactions,your timing,etc

        Sincerely,sexual fulfillment takes a lot of effort and dedication,there is no hard and fast route to it.It is either you are enjoying it or not.And even if you have been enjoying sex with your spouse,you will still need to
put in more effort for improvement.It can only get better!  

         I wish you all the best pal.

Sex therapy, Sex help books, experimentation,e.t.c

p.o.rn sites u might get ideas

In addition to what tallgal has said,
Read books, watch erotic movies together.

chaircover:

Go on a romantic weekend away from the children and hustle & bustle of daily life and rediscover each other.

u go pay?

MrPrsdent:

u go pay?

this mrpresident guy is sick

MrPrsdent:

get a new female househelp

MrPrsdent:

u go pay?

@poster, the solution is easier than u think, confront him about it, talk it through.

rokiatu:

this mrpresident guy is sick

why restating the obvious?

U no dey read paper?

then tell him that

I think u shud seek advice clegy men nd dont be too forward in ur actions.

come on poster get romantic and spice up ur relationship. i wonder why most people are neglecting their love lives.

pre-intimacy, romantic movies, touch ur sexual styles and see the wonders

Rawshyd:

I think u shud seek advice clegy men nd dont be too forward in your actions.

Clergy men are no go area. I fear them!

She will end up being 'played' in tongues. literally

See a doctor, i dont think that is normal.

Fhemmy it is normal,. with men who don't know what they are doing.

You think sex is for the husband alone to enjoy? Part of your 'duty'? It's for you BOTH to enjoy. It would seem the guy isn't taking you into account and so it isn't 'good for you'. Talk to him. He's your husband. Tell him how you feel. When a man loves you he'll bend over backwards to make you happy. Make the plans to spice things up TOGETHER. You can add all sorts of things. You can pander to his sexual fantasies. Maybe he's always wanted to be seduced by a tough policewoman. Go to your dressmaker and sow police uniform na . Every man has these fantasies. Find out what his are and tell him yours. You can play games. You're stranded in a deserted town and you hold all the cards and he's your slave and has to do whatever you say. He's a fireman who saved your life and boy, are you grateful!

There's so much you can do together. You can write each thing you want him to do to you on tiny, separate slips of paper, fold them and put them in jars, different jars for each.He ruffles through your jar, picks and opens the slip and must do whatever he finds. You do the same, back and forth till the slips are finished. You'll it find it exciting not knowing what he's thought up and what you're going to do, and ditto for him. There's no limit to the stuff you can do, the different kinds of women you can be for him, the best being, of course, yourself.

Don't cheat yourself of the pleasure of this part of marriage. And it's okay to say No if you don't feel like sex.

Madam, please wake up and do something - talk to your oga how you feel. Tell/Teach him how you want it. Don't die in silence o! Let me alert that you are preparing the ground for your marriage to become jaga-jaga o.

Do you still love him?

talk to him about it let him know that you have feelings too

coolier:

Do you still love him?

Of course i love him very much.

I have had several heart-to-heart discussions with him and the summary is that he thinks i have to be ready anytime he is.

It wasn't like this before the baby came. We were all over each other but now libido is zero for me.

I am willing to try some of the suggestions stated above next weekend (he travelled and would be back then) and would give you guys feed back. Thanks everyone.

More ideas welcome.

Why not try to get yourself in the mood before he gets back. Do you like aromatherapy? Why not try that. Even though he is not there try to feel sexy anyway. Dress in sexy lingerie, listen to romantic music, you can even read some erotica I have been there before and it might be hormonal or maybe just life took over. Just try to get yourself in that mood and even if he comes back and you are still not in the mood seduce him anyway. It's kind of like a car battery that needs a jumpstart . Sorry don't mean to call you are car battery but you get the idea abi.

Outstrip:

It's kind of like a car battery that needs a jumpstart . Sorry don't mean to call you are car battery but you get the idea abi.

Yes i do. No offence taken . Thanks.

How about, letting him know you're simply NOT satisfying you. Instead of complaining about him, talk to him and let him know what you want. Relationships are about communication!

@ Topic:

Wow! This is serious. Sometimes ago I opened a thread on a research I did that is kinda similar. I'll post d link if I can still find it. According to research, it seems women lose interest in sex after child bearing. If I may ask, do u have kids?

Rawshyd:

I think u shud seek advice clegy men

Are the Clergies supposed to know about sex therapy? I thought they're all abstinent. How on earth can they advice on something they're supposed to know nothing about?

Tgirl4real:

@ Topic:

Wow! This is serious. Sometimes ago I opened a thread on a research I did that is kinda similar. I'll post d link if I can still find it. According to research, it seems women lose interest in sex after child bearing. If I may ask, do u have kids?

I have a 16-month old baby.