YelloweWest:

Pls call him see him and forgive him.

If not subconsciously u may turn out just like him. It's important to deal with our past so it does not creep into our future.

My dad though a loving father made so many mistakes in life. I've forgiven but my sister still resents him... unknown to her she is exactly like him, making almost the same mistakes...

My dear, I have tried,

If you see my life.

Though am still managing, but its shiny on the outside, but don't dare peep in

The Truth is very bitter...Good post

obikirinoni:


Bless you too

o boy where u go bring this write up, is so on point. tnx

nice article, I hope the upcoming generation learns from this,as for the old ones, they have to live with it, like the op said " the ship has sailed". most of our Fathers only knew how to father their children and were never dads. I will personally love my God sent mother more forever

Another major reason why Fathers are neglected in old age is Polygamy ( they marry more than one wife)
Every body go follow him mama.

Also parents,please and please invest in your future o. Don't trust anyone, even your children might begin to complain that u r a liability and in most cases it is because they are just starting life n not financially stable enof.

Often when the children have become financially stable enof, the parents would be dead already

May God satisfy us early so that our parents can enjoy our money before they die

Among the above listed point I think k I only agree with point 16

...'Father-hood' is a thankless job indeed ..

..Rather than playing victim here,Nigerian fathers and potential fathers should up their game abeg cos they are loosing it....They are not doing enough for their kids in so many ways i dont even know where to start...I have a gazillion true-life instances to give,but i will leave it for now.

..I am yet to see a responsible man who took care of his family like he should (WIFE included)..,abandoned by his children when he is old..Children are not fools,if you maltreat their mom,they will realise that and DISLIKE you thoroughly in the long run.cos such mal-treatment usually trickles down to the kids.

..I will end by saying in life...You reap what you sow..period!

Afonjanightmare:
Mehn, the pillar of any home is the father, only stupid children would hate their DAD, my DAD trained us well, he had and still has an iron fist, barks orders, yells at everyone at home including the tables and chairs, do we love him?? Yes.

Thanks dear and at same time also shows love in full. Without father enemy's will deal with you

most men are irresponsible during the 1st phase the children needs them most. A woman can go to any length to make sure her children gets basic needs. Men should learn from that.

wow! this is the most sensible thing i've seen today. this is most peculiar with Black Fathers

obikirinoni:

Guys please read carefully


WHY FATHERS ARE NEGLECTED IN OLD AGE.
-ITS A MUST READ FOR ALL FATHERS! (and mothers too!)

Take ur time and read through.

1. In the lifetime of most Nigerian family settings, there are 3 Dispensations of Power.

2. The 1st is the first 25 years in the life of the family (father, mother, children) where power indisputably rest with the father.

3. The 2nd is after the kids have grown & started working when the power shifts to the mother.

4. The 3rd is when the kids move out of the family house or start their own families when the power moves to the children.

6. We'll start from the 1st Dispensation. Total dominance of the father. He is the Lion of the Tribe of his House. The boss.

7. During this dispensation, the father rules with an iron fist. He barks orders & determines what does or does not happen.

8. The father often mettes out corporal punishment to the recalcitrant children. They grow to fear him more than they love him.

10. The father is the provider for the family & everyone is aware of that fact with all attendant consequences.

11. Then the 2nd Dispensation sets in. The children have finished school and have started working. Power shifts to the mother.

12. When the children start earning their own money, for some reason, it's their mothers they decide to look after. They are closer to her.

13. While the father was in charge, he was busy with the business of providing. He didn't have much time to be a friend to the children.

14. They spent more time with their mum and invariably grew closer to her. They also see their mum as co-victims of the father's tyranny.

15. The mother takes centre stage at this point. She is the first to know what's happening with the children & she has advantage.

16. Should any of the daughters give birth, she is the one that goes for babysitting and the children spoil her with gifts.

17. At this stage, the father is wishing for some bond with the children like they have with their mother but that boat has sailed.

18. Because the mother doesn't rely much on the father for her needs at this stage, she is less likely to tolerate his lordship. Friction.

19. Then the 3rd and last dispensation. Power has shifted to the children. They are self-sufficient, live on their own & have own families.

20. More often than not, whenever there is a quarrel between father & mother, the children side the mother.Years of joint-victimhood at play

21. Children have been known to come to the house to warn their father not to 'disturb' their mother. Next thing, extended visitations.

22. Woe betide the father if his finances are precarious at this stage. You will be humble by force. The gang-up is real.

23. This causes most men to fall ill & develop different complications. By the time the forces are arrayed against you, you will think well.

24. Stroke, Hypertension, High-Blood Pressure. The man has a large family but no relationship with them in later life. Troubling thought.

25. Moral, dear men, while the power lies with us, let us wield it with posterity in mind. It won't be with us forever.

26. With the way you are treating your wife now, how will she treat you when power shifts to her?

27. What relationship do you have with your family? Loving dad or despotic, tyrannical provider?

28. Remember, the children always side with their mother. Aim to do enough to at least get a fair hearing in future moments of family strife

30. Invest wisely for the future so that you won't have to beg to be taken care of if despite your best efforts, you find yourself alone.

ADVISE TO CHILDREN:- IT IS NOT GOOD TO ABANDON YOUR FATHER WHO DENIED HIMSELF TO GET YOU PREPARED FOR LIFE & WHO SACRIFICIALLY SOWED TO MAKE YOU WHO YOU ARE. HONOUR YOUR BOTH PARENTS AND TAKE GOOD CARE OF THEM IN THEIR OLD AGE. THAT IS HOW YOU TOO WILL SOW INTO YOUR FUTURE. DONT LET NEGLECTING YOUR FATHER (PARENTS ) BE A CURSE ON YOU INTO YOUR FUTURE.

ADVISE TO MOTHERS :- DON'T INCITE YOUR CHILDREN AGAINST THEIR FATHER.

*Parenthood is not easy despite its joys. There is no manual on how it works. May God help us

My family is in stage three but there's nothing like mother or father or children having more power.Everything is debated and majority , especially after lobbying and persuasion and fights,carries the decision. I think it depends on how the family is set right from the foundation

This is exactly what's happening in my family at the moment.maximum respect for the op

Op, nice one!

i will keep this post....

obikirinoni:




My dear, I have tried,

If you see my life.

Though am still managing, but its shiny on the outside, but don't dare peep in

I know what that's like. Keep trying. Take it to God in prayer. There is no life God cannot turn around.

I was once a write off. So many had predicted my downfall but today they eat from my table...

Just do ur own part. Speak to your dad. Buy him something he likes. Let's him see you are repaying all the wrong and evil he did to u with good and love..

It's hard but important.

YTderin:
True.
All Nigerian father's do is bark orders, make kids scared, force respect.
I and my siblings are drawn to our mom, my brothers are the one plotting for dad, my hand no dey.

Plotting, how?

Number 30 is most important.

Sober reality.

xammy:
i will keep this post....

U will need it.

This is soo true and on point! i only love my dad because my mother loves him. Am sure he wonders now how my mother get daily calls from all her children n only call him when there is one issue or the other. I hardly even ever call.

Young dads should really learn and take a que from this article.

Afonjanightmare:
Mehn, the pillar of any home is the father, only stupid children would hate their DAD, my DAD trained us well, he had and still has an iron fist, barks orders, yells at everyone at home including the tables and chairs, do we love him?? Yes.

Your father is a responsible man. Thank God u said he trained u.
I don't think anyone would hate their father for just shouting. You're lucky to have a good dad. It's not like that for a lot of people. So don't be quick to call folks stupid for not having a relationship with their dad.
Take for instance the poor boy who's father beat to death in ph. The father had been arrested previous for burning the boys hand on stove. I'm quite sure he was doing all this to please his new wife. If that boy had survived and grew up as an adult, what kind of relationship do u think he would have with his dad ??

PaperLace:
Lols. Only (prospective) tyrannical dads have this paranoia...
I am closer to my dad_ at the rate my husband is going, I won't be surprised if our kid(s) are closer to him. If I tell them to go buy me something, from there they'll reach Crunchies fast-food and start sending me selfies. I won't see them, nor what I requested _for an hour+.

On this same NL, we have seen lots of men say their own is to provide money. I have seen one say he can never bathe or feed his kids, forgetting that's the best time to bond with them.

Some Nigerian men would never take their wives for antenatal.
They don't know how to bathe a child or wear a diaper.
When mummy isn't around, the whole house will be in disarray.

You think kids are blind?
The earlier y'all get it into your heads that fatherhood is beyond paying school fees, the better. Mummy works too, manages the home and still bonds with the kids. You don't have an excuse.

I have never seen kids neglect a good dad, except they're bewitched or plain stupid. Proud Daddy's Girl

Thank you so much. That it happens that way is due to precedence set by the man. The woman has a role to play also. This mentality of I will handle the children while you do your thing will not end well. Be a good man and they will feel the gratitude they feel for their mother for you also. I know people that don't Joke with their fathers. Is it jazz the Dad uses? Sadly I wish I could be closer to my dad but it's really difficult to forget how he threw my mom out left her to fend for 3 girls, came back to become a liability while still seeing her being beaten in our front. He is a happy and jovial man but I met him in ss2 for the first time in my life. He still went on and off, Happy go lucky KINDA life. Things can be better. It doesn't have to end up the way OP just described. Men and women should keep it balanced. At least understand the children are little adults with emotions growing and can be influenced psychologically.

Geesugar:
Another major reason why Fathers are neglected in old age is Polygamy ( they marry more than one wife)
Every body go follow him mama.

Also parents,please and please invest in your future o. Don't trust anyone, even your children might begin to complain that u r a liability and in most cases it is because they are just starting life n not financially stable enof.

Often when the children have become financially stable enof, the parents would be dead already

May God satisfy us early so that our parents can enjoy our money before they die

Amen

BREAD-WINNER/FATHERHOOD
ITS NOT AN EASY JOB.
NO MATHER WHAT, THE CHILDREN SHOULD NOT FORGET THE SACRIFICE OF THE GOOD FATHER

peren:
This is soo true and on point! i only love my dad because my mother loves him. Am sure he wonders now how my mother get daily calls from all her children n only call him when there is one issue or the other. I hardly even ever call.

Young dads should really learn and take a que from this article.

I hope every guy reads this.

Please share on Facebook and other social media outlets.
Thanks

people will be writing nonsense. if your dad is like that mine is not so. God made father's the head for a reason.

Ask yourself why do daughters love their father more as they grew up

PaperLace:
Lols. Only (prospective) tyrannical dads have this paranoia...
I am closer to my dad_ at the rate my husband is going, I won't be surprised if our kid(s) are closer to him. If I tell them to go buy me something, from there they'll reach Crunchies fast-food and start sending me selfies. I won't see them, nor what I requested _for an hour+.

On this same NL, we have seen lots of men say their own is to provide money. I have seen one say he can never bathe or feed his kids, forgetting that's the best time to bond with them.

Some Nigerian men would never take their wives for antenatal.
They don't know how to bathe a child or wear a diaper.
When mummy isn't around, the whole house will be in disarray.

You think kids are blind?
The earlier y'all get it into your heads that fatherhood is beyond paying school fees, the better. Mummy works too, manages the home and still bonds with the kids. You don't have an excuse.

I have never seen kids neglect a good dad, except they're bewitched or plain stupid. Proud Daddy's Girl

a million likes for u ma'am. d typical african men just don't get it&it's to their detriment. like u said, mothers combine it all, Y can't they too since they're super heroes like they claim.
#proud daddy's girl here

OludolamiWasen:


Thank you so much. That it happens that way is due to precedence set by the man. The woman has a role to play also. This mentality of I will handle the children while you do your thing will not end well. Be a good man and they will feel the gratitude they feel for their mother for you also. I know people that don't Joke with their fathers. Is it jazz the Dad uses? Sadly I wish I could be closer to my dad but it's really difficult to forget how he threw my mom out left her to fend for 3 girls, came back to become a liability while still seeing her being beaten in our front. He is a happy and jovial man but I met him in ss2 for the first time in my life. He still went on and off, Happy go lucky KINDA life. Things can be better. It doesn't have to end up the way OP just described. Men and women should keep it balanced. At least understand the children are little adults with emotions growing and can be influenced psychologically.

Try oooooooo


Am trying hard from here.


When you forgive people, the real benefit is to you.

Trust me. I know. The earlier the better.

tensazangetsu20:
As for me, my own dad can go to hell. Once I get enough money am convincing my mom to get a divorce and am disowning him and his part of the family. Very useless hopeless people.

And you will get the same measure of treatment when you are old. Karmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

Great write up. Above all, a man should plan for his later years so he does not have to depend on the children. Besides, a man should learn how to stay alone when he is young so the loneliness at the latter time will not kill him. God bless all fathers. And mothers too.