JUDGE DISPUTES JUSTLY.
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You'll be surprised that you may unexpectedly receive emergency guests very early one morning.
A couple would be on your doorstep saying:
"Ustadh come and judge this matter o, alfa wetin Allah talk for this kind case ..............
It has happened to me severally and I believe it happens to some other brothers too.
To be on a safer side, refer them to more learned persons or even a scholar, but if there is no way out, then you have to give them a sincere naseehah, judging disputes is not for every khaleed and jaabir.
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People do say:
"No be who first go call police dey win case"
Even in islam, the first person to report should not automatically be favoured over the other, rather both parties should be listened to, before advising them.
Many couples of these days are chronic liars, a couple would narrate their case before you, yet you won't even know what to say because you don't know who is lying and who is telling the truth.
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Ikrimah radiAllahu anhu said,
Rifaa divorced his wife (irrevocably) then abdurahman bin zubayr married her.
Aisha radiAllahu anha said that the lady came one day, wearing a green veil and complained to her (aisha) of her husband and showed her a reddish mark on her skin caused by beating.
It was the habit of women to support eachother, so when the prophet came, aisha said:
I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women, look, her skin is even more grey than her veil.
When abdurahman heard that his wife had gone to the prophet, he came with his two sons he had from another wife.
The woman said, wallahi, I have done no wrong to him rather he is impotent and he is as useless to me as this (she held the edge of her garment).
Abdurahman said, wallahi ya rasulullah, she has told a lie, I am very strong and I can satisfy her (in bed) but she is disobedient and wants to go back to rifaa (her previous husband).
The prophet salallahu alayhi wassalam said:
If that is your intention, then know that it is haram for you to remarry rifaa unless abdurahman has had intimacy with you.
Then the prophet saw the two boys with abdurahman and asked,
Are these your sons?
Abdurahman said, yes
The prophet said, You claim that he is impotent when he already has kids? Wallahi, these boys resemble him just as a crow resembles a crow
(Saheeh bukhari 5825, muslim bk 77, hadith 42)
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So in marital cases, any of the spouses can lie for africa, just to win the case, don't be deceived by crocodile tears or eloquence. Do not be overwhelmed by emotions or soft words else you will favour the wrong person.
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Imam shabi said,
One day, I was with imam shuraih (the judge of the city), when a woman came crying seriously and complaining of her husband until her niqab became wet with tears.
I said, this woman must have been really oppressed!
Imam shuraih said, why do you conclude as such?
I said, because of her abundant tears.
Imam shuraih said,
Do not pass a judgement until a matter becomes "clear" to you, verily in the Quran, the brothers of prophet yusuf came back home crying to their father(yakub), whereas they were actually the wrongdoers who had thrown yusuf into the well.
(Gems and jewels pg 86)
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So do not judge a case till you hear from both parties and do not be deceived by tears, demonstration or eloquence, for they are not signs of victory.
Eloquence is sometimes deceitful, an eloquent speech can make a lie resemble truth and make truth resemble a lie.
The prophet sallalahu alayhi wassalam said:
Verily, some eloquent speeches have effects like sihr (magic)
(Sahih bukhari v7, b71 n662)
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So do not go around looking for fights or disputes to settle, its a position whose amaanah is great, you should avoid it but if you have no way out, then give a naseeha and leave the matter for the arbitrators to settle!
Being a marriage counsellor is not the 6th pillar of islam.

Jazakallahu khaeran for this. It is unfortunate these days that people who should still be in modrasa are claiming scholars; they wanted to be seen as knowing everything about anything. They have misled so many and the trend is disturbing.