Babyboy,
that you could come here to ask total strangers for advice but could not discuss you fears and worries with your wife indicates some serious issues
1. Communication problem
2. Lack of trust
3. Very easy to quit

Now marriage is a union ordained by God, and it should involved two people that are committed to each other, matured and understands the true meaning of marriage. A key factor of this union is communication and trust. As the guy I presumed you asked the lady to marry you and not the other way around. Now why would you pick her from the millions of girls out there? What did you see in her, and is that thing gone after 3months? If you cannot discuss important issues with your wife, but feel free to discuss with strangers, then why are you married? If you don’t trust this lady, then why did you marry her? This is not about the lady now, but more about you. Why?? because you married her and not the other way around. So before you hear advice from thousands of people that does not know the true situation of things, I advice you take your time to really ponder on the questions I asked because the answers to them will help you go through your situation. Never be too quick to call it quits, If I were in your shoes rather than quit I would want to really know why my wife would cheat on me. Marriages have it trials and triumphs don’t be only interested in the triumphs, but also fight through the trials. Everybody would go through the FIRE of marriage one way or another and only those that comes out of it still standing are the true champions.

You seems like a nice person, so consider me a friend and I will be there for you if you want. Godbless

u be real BABYBOY. goodluck

Dump her and move on quickly.

This is marriage, not film trick. Do it now before you start NAMING, LOVING AND TRAINING KIDS THAT ARE NOT YOURS.

@OP,

You 're completely incoherent in your story, you said  you discovered it yesterday which is barely a month and 29days after your wedding  

I discovered yesterday that my newly married wife is having one phone that she kept to herself but unknowingly to her,I got the phone and discovered that she strored some guys numbers on it

, yet said you found out a day after your wedding.

The day i saw the phone,was the day after our wedding when we were trying to move our things to our new place

well, assuming it's true, the best way to it is to act like a man  and keep tabs on her, get your facts right before getting yourself into this kinda troublous situation. Most times it's never who carries a case to the court comes out a victor

Stereotype,
                   You dont have 2 blame him there ways thins will happen and you jus dont knew wats the right thing to do. you get cofused because you cant even blyf wats happenin. That does not mean that the story is not true this thins do happen. I know of a girl that spent the whole night wit different a guy @ her weddn eve. Most people dont marry for love.
Hollandis,
               Its not that easy to call it quits in this society of ours, one may have spent his life savings on that weddn,
         and the whole world will see you as a failure shuld your marriage crash in some kind of manner.

At poster just shut up. dnt u have female contact. what are u feeling like? why not hear from ur wife first b4 u conclude.

Well it seems the poster's marriage has been doomed from the get -go cuz i remember this same poster posting a thread abt how his wedding is few mnts away and he is not happy abt the whole marriage thing because of some sex issue btn u and ur gf then. . . . . .so ummmm

But all the same i suggest u sit ur wife down and ask her some serious questions like why she has a hidden phone.

TOPE2000!:

Well it seems the poster's marriage has been doomed from the get -go cuz i remember this same poster posting a thread abt how his wedding is few mnts away and he is not happy abt the whole marriage thing because of some sex issue btn u and your gf then. . . . . .so ummmm

But all the same i suggest u sit your wife down and ask her some serious questions like why she has a hidden phone.

na wa ooooo. u know dey forget anything.see as you put 2 and 2 together, come jam 22 !

From where i stand i say ur not ready for marriage. Marriage is abt responsible maturity which obviously ur lacking. U suspected 'infidelity' instead of maning up u come here 2 ask for advice. Man ur so pa.the.tic and if ur thinking of a devource den ur nt ready 2 get married. Take dis from me 'situations do colour life, its up 2 U to determine what colour it should be'.

ladej:

na wa ooooo. u know dey forget anything.see as you put 2 and 2 together, come jam 22 !

lol. . .no be my fault ooo
na habit

TOPE2000!:

lol. . .no be my fault ooo
na habit

nothing do u jare. carry on

Amongst the replies there is some mature advice on here. Communication is the best way, but the other way is play the detective, you could type in the phone number/s on the internet and see if it brings up any clues. I did this and it bought up my husband's girlfirends workplace and where she lived (as she was looking to rent a room in her house and had an advert on the internet). Also if she has a Facebook or similar check those sites too. At this early stage in your marriage it is very sad you are experiencing this. I pray you can resolve your trust issues.

I found my husband's Taiwanese girlfriend (young enough to be his daughter) on Facebook after finding their intimate texts to each other too, I sent her a message saying "do you realise he's married". Only for him to come home and say he had a threatening call from a "Taiwanese man" at the office and he was going to get his police friend to investigate the matter. So indirectly he threatened me for harrassing his girlfriend.

Rehana2:

Amongst the replies there is some mature advice on here. Communication is the best way, but the other way is play the detective, you could type in the phone number/s on the internet and see if it brings up any clues. I did this and it bought up my husband's girlfirends workplace and where she lived (as she was looking to rent a room in her house and had an advert on the internet). Also if she has a Facebook or similar check those sites too. At this early stage in your marriage it is very sad you are experiencing this. I pray you can resolve your trust issues.

I found my husband's Taiwanese girlfriend (young enough to be his daughter) on Facebook after finding their intimate texts to each other too, I sent her a message saying "do you realise he's married". Only for him to come home and say he had a threatening call from a "Taiwanese man" at the office and he was going to get his police friend to investigate the matter. So indirectly he threatened me for harrassing his girlfriend.

awon detective ! u suppose dey work for FBI, CIA, SSS,MI5, THE LIST IS ENDLESS !!!!!!!!

The poster is no more on this page,so case closed.I love NL

babyboy, an eye for an eye. Women are deadly. you have to fight back otherwise you will be the looser. Go out there and get as many girlfriend as posible. infact someone more preety than herself. let her know that by them calling you at odd hours and get out of the bed at night to see them.
Then watch her reaction. she wont take it. you have to pay her back. not just once but as much as you can.

Dont stop there keep doing it daily, weekly. bring gift that she bought you back homne , birthday cards, jeans with perfumes she got you.

infact let the fight begin.

She will stop if she knows she is about to loose you. when she comes back, yu wanna know what happened, how it happened, and infact carry am to village to swear enough fake juju to scare the hell out of her. it will stop. trust me.

she will confess who she did it with, how many times and even things you never knew will come to limelight.

good luck.

Guy, just ditch the bitch, u can choose to waste ur life tryin to right something that was born wrong, Get ur walk on, dat chick dont like ur ass 2 b kipin somefin as pointless as a phone from you,

i 1da wat u want 2 hear,ur marriage is bearly 2mths and u cant handle it right.pk let me advice u since alot of people have told u wat to do and u are nt satisfied y not go the american style '' divorce'' mayb dat ll make u happier than settling down and know that wat ur father went thru in making ur mama bring u to d world is patience and understanding.

, and i just pray for poster that she isnt a nairaland fan who has identified this thread to be refering to her marriage and reading all these messages of advice and planning accordingly.

Wishing you God's wisdom,

reading ur first couple of posts on NL b4 u got married, u said u weren't happy about ur upcoming wedding but u went along and married her. why marry someone u aren't happy with? then u come here to complain after the deed has been done.

go for divorce now? haba

Did u pay her bride price? How did both of u get married? Did she agree to marry u? But, since u seem to have gone offline, has her MALE CONTACTS murdered u?

Did u pay her bride price? How did both of u get married? Did she agree to marry u? But, since u seem to have gone offline, has her MALE CONTACTS murdered u?

We all reap what we sow; poster has dug his grave so let him jump inside.

I don't think your wife is cheating. I think you kept spying on her and so she got the other phone to put in numbers that she knows you would have given her a headache over (I am not saying it is right but she was most likely tired of your wahala). The fact that she called you to confront you about harassing someone shows that you have done similar things in the past. You can come here and say I am lying but I have a very good radar on things like this. You will eventually drive your wife away if you do not stop this childishness. She can talk to guys if she wants. You don't own her.

Its to early to start talking of quitting we should ask you then why did you go in in the first place. As I see it nothing has spoilt yet. I guess all you need to do is a bit of patience to get adjust to eachother and then watch closely to get the real gist of what she is up to. For now you are crying wolf where there is no wolf. This is a case of calling a dog a bad name to hang it. So common hang in there for now. Enjoy

My brother, if what you say is real, i'm sorry to hear this because it's really painful. I cant imagine a girlfriend let alone my wife. I have just one piece of advice for you.
NEVER INVOLVE A THIRD PARTY WHEN YOU HAVE CHALLENGES IN YOUR MARITAL HOME.
I am speaking as a married man. It doesnt help in any way because you get conflicting responses from people and negative inputs from people who do not know jack about being married.

Kindly call your wife and sort it out with her by discussing at length. I wish you the best.

@poster

You had an opportunity to actually discover whether or not your wife was cheating, but u misused it. Out of your stupidity, impatience & naivity, u spoiled the show. (I dont mean any harm)

Next, time, pretend u never saw the phone, build FBI/CIA kind of surveillance around her & the phone, smoke out the culprits, and even catch them red-handed. Lack of maturity & patience is your problem. U may not have a "next time" after all. B/c if truly she did that, she will never make such a mistake again.

My advice:

- pretend as if nothing happnd;

- apologise for accusing her wrongfully;

- lay ambush,

- mount tiny surveliance camera in your house if u can afford it;

- if she drives, instal a tiny CCTV/recoding device without her knowledge/suspicion. These gadgets are everywhere but a little expensive. Some are kept in wall clocks, while some hide perfectly inside or around picture frames.

- If u have a laptop with webcam, deliberately leave it on and use the video or voice recorder to do the job, but this can be easily discovered.

- If u drive, try to pack outside at times, and wallk into your house unexpected; then pay more attention to body language, & sudden phone cuts, or silence after convesations on phone.

- If she stays home, return in odd times & watch; u must learn a bit of psychology here

- Be sincere in your dealings with here; never betray any feeling of suspicion

I can tell u that d trust is 90% eroded, & u need to know who you married & what u ve got your self into.

Meanwhile, though chances are remote, she could also be innocent anyway. Although we are no God, but God has aided us with such equipment that I ve mentioned for you. Since here is not US where u can employ d services of CHEATERS to unravel the mystery, u ve got to do it yourself, using my advice.

CAVEAT: I hope she is on NL b/c she too will have taken cover.

Mail me personally (email) for more. But, I tell u, if u take my advice & execute it perfectly, u will be a man, Babyboy.

Its disheartening that a new bride would keep a phone from her hubby, a phone containing nothing but male contacts. You should try to resolve it and table it before God. As for me, she'd be out the door if she can't give me a reasonable explanation.

did u guys marry over the internet? or did u do it the ancient way of not seeing the bride till the wedding day? from what i can see u don't even know ur wife and vice-versa.

Hi everyody on Nairaland,


I have read all the suggestions u guys posted.Well,I still believe that the only way i can hold on my stand is to get access to the fone again as an evidence.Right now am in Lagos while she is in another state where she is working pending the transfer success.

I f i cant get the fone how will i proof this ponit to her.

To be candid,i have not accused her of this,i only text the no i gton the fone to know who the person is.I pretended as a friend to the person i saw on the fone and ask him to give me the number of her girlfriend friend no.this is where i mentned the name of my wife as his girlfriend to get the fact.


Little did i realised this,my wife called that somebody called her as per the text i sent to the guy.She first accused me why i was challenging someone but i pretended that i knew nothing about it cos i dnt have the fone with me at the moment to proof this.

So can u guys feel me now .Tell me what to do.Should i wait till when i get the fone to proof this or?

I tot husband n wife are suppose to b best of friends. Y don't u guys sit down n talk like friends. Ask her y she's having that phone n y she didn't let u know. Patience will solve all these. U don't ve to quite the marriage just because of a mere suspition. Just take it easy n relax ur mind. Thats my advice

@poster,
I don't think you are a serious person, If she is having an affair, you need to back it up with evidence, stop acting like a child and grow up.Confront her and let her know u are not happy with her actions.

methinks that it is not enough to accuse ur wife of infidelity because of some phone numbers. if she wanted those

other guys , she may not have married u and that is a vital point u should consider. the marriage is very young and i

belive she must have known these guys before u married, so if they are beneficial to her career or business she may

still have to relate to them in an OFFICIAL CAPACITY.


@ poster, u sound like a person with low self esteem or inferiority complex ,if not a set of numbers should not make u contemplate ending ur vows. and why should u even go peeping into ur wife's phone? u no get phone?